by Linda Green
‘Why did they do that to your car?’
‘It was probably an accident,’ I said, trying to sound as if I believed it.
I tried to take the note while Maisie was distracted by the scratch but she was much too sharp for me to get away with it.
‘What’s that?’ she asked.
‘The person who did it probably left it,’ I replied. I glanced down at the piece of paper, swallowed and put it straight into my pocket.
‘What did it say?’ asked Maisie.
‘That they were sorry and they’ve left their phone number so we can get it sorted out with their insurance company.’
‘That’s good.’
‘Yes,’ I said, forcing a smile. ‘Come on, we’d better hurry up. I’ll ring the garage when we get to school.’
I took her hand and we went on down the road, the fingers of my other hand still touching the note in my pocket, my heart beating ridiculously fast, my eyes still seeing the words that had been written on the piece of paper in black marker pen: ‘Secrets will destroy your family. Stop. Now.’
*
My hands were still shaking when I rang DI Freeman from school. I’d gone into the stationery cupboard in an effort to find some privacy.
‘Hello,’ I said, when he answered. ‘It’s Nicola Hallstead. Sorry to bother you but someone’s left a threatening note on my windscreen this morning and they’ve scratched my car pretty badly as well.’
‘What did the note say?’
‘“Secrets will destroy your family. Stop. Now.”’
‘Right. Are you at work?’
‘Yes. I’ll be home by four.’
‘OK. I’ll ask one of the uniform guys to come over to you then and take a statement. Any idea who it was?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s the second I’ve had. I didn’t mention the first because it was left outside my grandma’s house and I thought it was some NIMBY neighbour, who didn’t like the media turning up there. But they know where I live now and I don’t like that.’
‘We’ll get someone up to Pecket Well to do some door-knocking. Might be enough to put a stop to it. But do let me know if you get any more.’
‘OK,’ I said. ‘Thanks.’
I put my phone back in my bag, conscious that I had only five minutes to get myself together before lessons started. Someone was trying to make me stop digging, yet the only people this was affecting was my family. Unless someone outside my family had something to hide.
*
I sat in the head’s office at lunchtime and watched her mouth opening and closing but her words struggled to penetrate. I caught odd phrases such as ‘more cuts’, ‘over-stretched budgets’, ‘impossible decisions’ and ‘going to have to let you go’. Even as I heard them, I reprimanded myself for not paying attention sooner. I had been so wrapped up in the discovery of the bones that the growing financial crisis at school had largely passed me by. I’d told myself the staffroom was always full of doom and gloom, that we were permanently short of money and somehow or other we would all survive.
Now, as I listened to the phrase, ‘leaving us at Christmas’, I realised that this was actually happening. To me. The head said some nice things too. There was mention of a ‘glowing reference’ and that she’d ‘make enquiries with colleagues at other local schools’. It didn’t matter, though. What mattered was that I had just been made redundant. And no amount of nice words could take that away.
I walked out of her office and into the staffroom, still in a daze. They all looked up and looked away again. I didn’t have to say anything: my demeanour gave it away.
Fiona, predictably, was the first one brave enough to approach me. She raised an enquiring eyebrow. I nodded.
‘Oh, Nic, I’m so sorry. This is outrageous. We’ll get the union on to it, see if there’s anything they can do.’
I gave a half-smile, though I knew it wouldn’t do any good. The head had said it herself. She had done everything possible to avoid cuts to teaching staff. I wasn’t the only one it was happening to either. The year-five teaching assistant had gone into the head’s office after me. It had clearly been decided that the older kids would have to do without TAs to ensure the younger ones kept theirs.
‘I don’t blame her,’ I said. ‘She looked more wretched than me. It’s not her fault there’s no money.’
‘Maybe when things ease a bit . . .’
I shook my head. Fiona was trying to be positive, but I wanted to be realistic. And realistically not only had I lost my job but I had no chance of getting it back.
‘Maisie’s going to be so upset,’ I said. ‘First Ruby leaving, now me.’
‘I’ll keep a special eye on her,’ said Fiona, giving my shoulder a squeeze. ‘You’ll find something else soon, I’m sure.’
I smiled because it was the polite thing to do. The reality was rather more brutal. It was the only job I’d ever done. I wasn’t qualified for anything else. And I was well aware that, having quit my degree course when I had Ruby, three A levels at B grade weren’t exactly going to cut it in the jobs market these days. There’d be plenty of bright young things who were better qualified than I was, and older people with more experience.
I sat down, fighting back the tears that were elbowing their way to the surface. I was aware that about the only thing I had experience of and appeared to be particularly good at was screwing up my own life.
*
My text to James said simply, Car vandalised this morning and now I’ve been made redundant – how’s your day going?
The phone rang straight away.
‘Are you serious?’ asked James.
‘Yep. I’m leaving at Christmas. I suppose on the plus side I get to finish with the nativity rather than the decorated Easter egg competition or sports day.’
‘Jesus, after all the work you’ve put in at that place.’
‘It’s not her fault. Bloody cut-backs, she’s got no choice. Anyway, if you know anyone who needs a plumber’s mate . . .’
‘Don’t be daft. Another school will snap you up.’
‘They won’t, James. No one’s hiring and no one’s leaving. I can’t remember the last time I saw a TA job advertised.’
There was a silence at the other end of the line. James was pretty good at picking up the pieces of my life and putting them back together again, but even he sounded as if he was stumped on this one.
‘What happened with the car?’ he asked.
‘Someone’s scratched it all the way down the side. It was deliberate. There was another threatening note on the windscreen too.’
‘Sorry,’ said James. ‘I shouldn’t have told you to ignore the first. I didn’t realise it would escalate like this. You need to let the police know – this is getting out of hand.’
‘I have,’ I said. ‘They’re sending someone round later to take a statement.’
‘We’ll talk when I get home,’ he said. ‘I’ll try to finish early. Don’t bother cooking. I’ll pick up some pizzas on the way.’
‘Thanks,’ I said.
‘We’ll get something sorted.’
‘Yeah,’ I replied, though I had no idea how.
*
I managed to keep up the brave face almost all the way home with Maisie, mainly because she talked so much I didn’t need to say anything. But as soon as I saw my car, the tears came.
‘Don’t worry, Mummy,’ said Maisie, taking my hand. ‘The garage will fix it.’
I smiled at her, not wanting to tell her the other reason for my tears – I couldn’t bear the thought of having to explain it all again when Ruby got home. Fortunately, I didn’t have to wait long.
‘What’s happened to your car?’ she asked, as soon as she got in.
‘Someone scratched it,’ announced Maisie, ‘but they’ve said sorry and the insurance is going to pay
for it.’
Ruby looked at me.
I had no intention of worrying her by telling her the truth. ‘The police are going to come soon and take a statement. I have to report it to them for the insurance, you see.’ I couldn’t work out whether she’d bought it or not but I decided to get the rest of it out in one go. ‘I’m afraid I’ve had some other bad news today,’ I said.
‘Has someone else died?’ asked Maisie.
‘No, love,’ I said. ‘No one’s died. I’m losing my job. They can’t afford to have a teaching assistant in year six any more, so I’ll be leaving at Christmas.’
The girls stared at me. It was Ruby who spoke first. ‘But that’s not fair.’
‘I know, but life isn’t always fair. The government haven’t given the school enough money so they’re going to have to lose people.’
‘Who’ll take me to school in the morning?’ asked Maisie.
‘I will. It’s just that I won’t be coming in with you because I won’t work there any more.’
Maisie burst into tears. I went over and gave her a hug, smoothing her hair, which was always wild at the end of the school day. ‘You’ll still have loads of fun at school with Emily,’ I said. ‘And I’ll come to all the parents’ things.’
‘I don’t want you to leave,’ she sobbed.
‘I know,’ I said, brushing away her tears. ‘But these things happen. Mrs Atkins in year five is losing her job too.’
Maisie started shedding a fresh round of tears.
‘Come on,’ I said, conscious that the police would be arriving soon and I wanted the girls out of the way. ‘I think we all need a film night. You go and get a DVD on. Daddy’s bringing pizzas home for tea.’
Maisie’s face brightened considerably and she ran into the living room. Ruby followed, rather less enthusiastically.
*
The policeman they sent was PC Hyde, the one who’d come to Grandma’s house on the day I reported the bones.
‘Hello again,’ he said, taking his helmet off as he stepped into the kitchen. ‘Nasty scratch on that car. I understand there was a note too.’
I handed him a plastic bag containing both notes I had received. ‘The top one is today’s. The other was left on my car outside my grandma’s house last Wednesday.’
He read them both, then looked up at me. ‘And you’ve no idea who’s behind this?’
‘No. Obviously it seems to be someone who doesn’t want the police involved but other than that . . .’ I shrugged as my voice trailed off.
‘And is there anyone who’s said that to your face?’
I immediately thought of Mum but that was ridiculous. However much she’d been against me going to the police, she was hardly going to trash my car. I wondered about mentioning Andrea but it seemed mean when she’d been so lovely to Grandma and I really didn’t think it was her style. ‘No,’ I said.
‘Well, we’ll have a look at the notes and I’ll take some photos of the damage to your car and see if your neighbours saw or heard anything. I’ll let you know the crime number so you can report it to your insurance company and we’ll be doing some house-to-house enquiries in Pecket Well later, see what we can find out.’
‘Thanks,’ I said, showing him to the door. All I could think was that there were an awful lot of people who didn’t know anything. And one person who clearly did.
*
An hour later, James arrived home with the pizzas. The girls greeted him, then disappeared back into the living room with theirs to watch the end of the film.
‘You OK?’ James asked.
‘Not really,’ I replied. He came over and gave me a hug. ‘What did the police say?’
‘They asked if anyone had spoken to me about not involving the police.’
‘I take it you didn’t mention your mum?’
I shook my head. ‘I’ve already got my grandmother being investigated for murder. I’m hardly going to turn my mum in for criminal damage, am I?’
‘You don’t think she—’
‘Oh, come on, James. I know she’s pissed off at me but she’s not a car vandal, is she?’
‘So it’s some sad git from Pecket Well who’s followed you down here?’
‘Maybe. But I don’t understand why. I don’t get how it’s anybody else’s business.’
‘There are always people who make things their business.’
‘Yeah, well, perhaps the police knocking on their door tonight will be enough to get it to stop. Maisie was really upset by it. And me losing my job, of course.’ The tears came as I finished the sentence.
‘Come here,’ James said, giving me another hug. ‘You’ve had a pretty crap day by anyone’s standards, on top of a few pretty crap weeks.’
I let him hold me, trying not to think about the fact that I had a feeling that worse was to come.
*
I sat on the end of the sofa eating pizza and staring blankly at the TV screen as Nicole Kidman got her comeuppance in Paddington. All I could think of was how the hell we were going to manage without my income after Christmas. The best I could hope for was probably a part-time job in a café or shop. And, as I didn’t have any experience, even that was a long shot.
We were in the kitchen drinking coffee later when I decided to broach the subject.
‘We’re going to be skint after Christmas,’ I said.
‘You’ll find something.’
‘We don’t know that. And even if I do, it’s likely to be quite a bit less money than I’m on now.’
‘We’ll manage.’
‘Will we, though? We’re struggling as it is and you’ve already said your income’s down on last year.’
‘Things will pick up in the spring.’
‘They might not. Anyway, we can’t afford to wait that long.’
‘So what’s the alternative?’
I hesitated before I said it because I already knew what his reaction would be.
‘How about we move to Grandma’s house?’
James looked at me as if I’d just suggested we emigrate to the moon.
‘It makes huge sense,’ I continued. ‘We don’t know when or if I’m going to get another job. It’ll be a huge strain keeping up with the mortgage payments and bloody stupid when we’re struggling and we’ve got a big house sitting up there empty.’
‘You’re serious, aren’t you?’
‘Of course I am. We’d be mortgage-free and have some money in the bank to tide us over until I get something else.’
James sat down at the table with his head in his hands.
‘Look,’ I said, ‘I know you don’t want to move up there but what else can we do? We can’t sell it.’
James pulled a face.
‘What?’
‘We could. I mean, there’s nothing stopping us legally.’
‘And I’m supposed to put her final wishes conveniently to one side, am I?’
‘She’s not around to know, is she?’
‘Jesus, James. I can’t believe you said that.’
‘Look, I’m sorry but it’s the truth. I’m simply saying there is another way. And, as far as I’m concerned, selling her house would be a much better option.’
‘It’s not even mine to sell. She wanted Ruby to have it. It belongs to her, really.’
‘Well, you’re welcome to sound her out but I can’t see her going for the idea. There’s no way she’ll want to move there.’
James put his coffee mug down hard on the table and left the kitchen. I knew he was right but I also knew I had to respect Grandma’s wishes. It was a no-win situation. And something had to give.
*
I waited until James had taken Maisie up for her bedtime story before I talked to Ruby. We let her stay up an hour later than Maisie on school nights. It was good to give them a bit
of space at the end of the day.
Ruby was squashed into the beanbag in the living room, her head in a book. I knew disturbing her would get her hackles up, but I had no choice.
‘Got a minute?’ I asked.
‘Do I have any choice?’
I smiled. ‘Not really. We’re trying to work out what to do for the best and I wanted to run something past you.’
Ruby put her book down.
‘Great-grandma left her house to me in her will. But when I was with her just before she died, she said she’d like you to have it one day.’
She frowned at me. ‘What about Maisie?’
It was typical of Ruby to ask that. She was such a stickler for fairness. It made me sad as well as proud: I realised how often what we did revolved around Maisie, not her.
‘She wanted you to have it.’
‘Why?’
‘You were her first-born great-grandchild. You were special to her.’
Ruby’s frown softened only slightly.
‘The thing is,’ I continued, ‘we need to decide what to do with the house. We can’t afford to keep it empty. And we’d wondered about renting it out but that’ll be difficult at the moment.’
‘Because of the bones?’
‘Yes,’ I said. ‘But the thing is, now I’m losing my job, money’s going to be very tight and one solution to that would be to sell this house and move up to Great-grandma’s.’
The look Ruby gave me was not altogether different from James’s. Except there was a bit more anger thrown in.
‘No. I don’t want to move. This is our home.’
‘I know, love, but we can’t afford to keep on two houses and we can’t leave Great-grandma’s place empty for too long or we’ll get burst pipes and damp over winter.’
‘Why don’t you just get another job?’
‘I’ll try but it won’t be easy. I’ll probably have to do something completely different, like shop work or waitressing, and I’ll have to work my hours around taking Maisie to and from school, so I’ll not earn as much.’
‘So sell Great-grandma’s house.’
‘I just told you, love. She wanted you to have it.’
‘Well, I don’t want it. The whole place creeps me out. The kids at school are saying the babies were murdered. They reckon Great-grandma did it. I don’t want anything to do with that house and I certainly don’t want to live in it.’
