by Indiana Wake
“Thank you. I’m sorry I stayed outside like that.”
“I can understand.” Natalie settled beside her, tucking her skirt around her legs. “Cristian shouldn’t have said any of that.”
“No, he shouldn’t.” Harriet glanced toward the stairs. Even knowing Cristian was in his room at the back of the house, she lowered her voice. “Is he always like that with women?”
“No. I’ve never seen him treat a woman like he’s treated you before.”
“There must be something about me that he doesn’t like.” Harriet tugged the blanket more around her. “He knows how to hurt me.”
“He’s hurt you more than you thought.”
Harriet felt embarrassed admitting that. She nodded, unable to look at the other woman.
“I can cope with people discussing my weight. I’m used to it. But something about your brother…”
“I know.” Natalie rubbed Harriet’s back. “I don’t think it’s you, Harriet, if that makes it any better.”
“Not really. How can it not be something wrong with me?”
Natalie was silent. Then she sat back, resting her back against the couch.
“Cristian and Lauren, my former sister-in-law, were married for seven years. There were no children. Lauren was devastated, but Cristian stayed with her. He loved her. Then Lauren started having affairs. Several, in fact. Cristian never knew about any of these until Christmas Day. Two of Lauren’s lovers came to the house and tried to make a claim over her. It all came out before the Christmas dinner, and Cristian told Lauren to leave.”
Harriet listened to this with growing horror. She knew that Cristian was divorced, but she had never asked why. With his abrasive manner, Harriet had thought it was because of that and that his ex-wife had somehow managed to persuade a judge to allow her to divorce. Now she realized there was a reason for his behavior. He had been hurt and badly.
“I… I had no idea,” Harriet murmured.
“It’s not something he discusses.” Natalie grimaced. “People know about the affairs, but Cristian closed himself off from everyone, including me.”
“Was it after that day that his behavior changed?”
“Yes.” Natalie rubbed at her eyes. “He’s been rude with people ever since. He doesn’t trust anyone but me, and I’m surprised he even trusts me. That’s why he doesn’t like this time of year. Christmas has lost all the magic with him. And you put him on the back foot.”
“I do?”
“Because you look a lot like Lauren.”
That, Harriet wasn’t expecting at all. She thought she had heard it incorrectly. She stared at Natalie.
“What do you mean, I look a lot like that woman?”
“In terms of your figure.” Natalie hurried on to say, “You don’t have the same hair color, but there’s a fiery temperament to you that Lauren possessed. But you’re softer than Lauren, and there’s a side to you that knocks my brother off-balance. He keeps thinking he’s talking to Lauren, and then you do something to make him realize it’s not his former wife.”
That did not sound very good at all. Harriet didn’t want to remind someone of their former spouse. She shifted uncomfortably.
“I don’t mean to do any of that.”
Natalie’s expression softened. She put an arm around Harriet’s shoulders.
“I know you don’t, love. I love my brother, and I know Christmas is going to be hard on him. Just don’t take it too personally. Cristian knows that he’s done wrong. It’s just getting him to admit it out loud.”
“Stubborn, is he?”
“The worst. I think if you talked to him – talked, not shouted – you might see the side I know is there. The side of him that was there before everything in his life went downhill.” She squeezed Harriet’s shoulders. “There’s a really nice man under that exterior he gives off. You just need to get past it.”
Harriet wasn’t sure about that.
Chapter Five
Again, Cristian couldn’t sleep. Knowing Christmas was coming up in just under two weeks was driving him mad. Everyone was discussing their plans for Christmas Day, one of the very few days the miners had off work. Gifts were being exchanged, and lots of songs were being sung while the men worked. Cristian hated to hear it. But he couldn’t exactly stop them; it just started up again when he was out of earshot.
Now he was having to go through his first Christmas without Lauren. Thanksgiving had been bad enough – his birthday had fallen on the same weekend this year – but this was going to be even worse. Cristian had no love for the woman who had broken his heart anymore. The memories, however, were still there, and they were more bittersweet than anything else.
Cristian couldn’t think of Lauren without seeing those two men fighting on his doorstep on Christmas morning about who was taking her home. That day kept playing over and over in his head. What a fool she had made of him, how she had betrayed him, how she had broken his heart!
And Cristian was taking it out on Harriet. He knew it was wrong, and Harriet didn’t deserve it. She had done nothing wrong to warrant his behavior. But whenever Cristian looked at her, all he could see was Lauren. He thought Harriet would be the same, a woman who would rip a man’s heart apart. She was beautiful enough to have a trail of broken hearts behind her.
Cristian had to keep remembering that Harriet was not Lauren. She was a different person. He needed to rein in it but the woman plagued his thoughts, which drove him mad. Keeping her at arm’s length wasn’t working.
Finally, unable to sleep properly, Cristian got up and went downstairs. He sat in front of the dwindling fire, staring into the flames for a while. Then he built the fire up again, bringing it back to its former roaring glory.
Cristian fetched a glass of whiskey and settled back in front of the fire, slumped down with his legs stretched out.
This was becoming a depressing year, more than he realized.
“Mr. Maffi?”
Cristian sat up abruptly. Harriet was at the bottom of the stairs, wrapping a blanket around her shoulders. It covered a simple white nightgown that fell down to her ankles, her feet were bare. Her hair was loose in curls about her shoulders. Cristian didn’t think he had seen a lovelier sight.
“Miss Calver.” Aware that he was in just his undershirt and trousers with his braces off his shoulders, Cristian cleared his throat. “I didn’t realize you were still awake.”
“I couldn’t sleep. It’s too quiet.” Harriet tugged the shawl tighter about her shoulders. “I’m used to a little noise at night.”
“The desert and the prairie are an abrupt change to city life I imagine.” Cristian had to stop himself from staring as Harriet gnawed at her lip. He indicated the couch. “Do you want to sit with me?”
“You don’t think I’m intruding?”
Cristian smiled. That had Harriet gasping, a blush creeping across her cheeks. It was evident even in the shadows. Cristian wondered if he had ever smiled at her. He stood and beckoned her over.
“Not at all. Come sit down. It’s warm here.”
Harriet hesitated. But then she walked over, padding to the couch and settling down at the other end. It was clear she wanted to keep her distance. That left a pang of sadness in Cristian’s chest. When had that started happening?
He fetched another glass of whisky, passing it over as he sat down.
“Here, take this.”
“Thank you.”
Harriet took the glass. Their fingers touched, and Cristian almost dropped the glass as something shot up his hand. It was a sharp bolt of heat that made him jump. From the slight gasp Harriet emitted, she felt it as well. She drew back, cupping the glass in both hands.
Cristian didn’t want her cowering away from him. He wanted her to be comfortable. Not scared of him. He shifted in his seat.
“Listen, Miss Calver…”
“Harriet.”
Harriet. Cristian felt his heart stop. She had always insisted that he call her Miss Calver. Now the
y were on first name terms? Harriet was looking at him, almost willing him to call her that. Cristian nodded.
“Harriet. As long as you call me Cristian. Fair enough?”
Harriet licked her lips. Then she nodded.
“Fair enough, Cristian.”
That sounded very nice on her lips. Cristian cleared his throat and took a strong draught of his drink.
“Harriet, I want to apologize for my attitude toward you over the last few days. You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just…” When was the last time he had ever apologized to anyone who wasn’t Natalie? “It’s not easy right now, with Christmas and everything…”
“You didn’t exactly have the best Christmas present last year, did you?”
Cristian stopped. Harriet was giving him a look that said she knew. There was no pity, only understanding. Natalie had to have been talking to her. Cristian couldn’t find himself to be angry. He sighed.
“Not really. Finding out the woman you’re married to, someone you’ve loved for a long time, had been having affairs on a special day was heart-breaking.” He grimaced. “It’s left a bad taste in my mouth.”
Harriet nodded.
“I can understand.” She sipped her whiskey and winced. “But you don’t need to take it out on everyone else.”
“It just happens.”
“Well, it needs to stop ‘just happening’.”
“Yes, Ma’am.”
They exchanged a look, which had Harriet giggling. Cristian found himself smiling. Then he realized Harriet was shuffling closer to him. Almost close enough for him to reach out and touch her.
“Have you ever had anyone betray you, Harriet?” he asked.
Harriet shook her head.
“No one’s got close enough to try.”
“What? I don’t believe that.”
“It’s true.” Harriet made a face. She was beginning to look sulky. “Men want beautiful women as wives. Someone who looks good on their arm.”
It was the resentment in her expression that had Cristian sitting up.
“You don’t think that you’re beautiful?”
“No, I’m not. And it’s not going to change.”
Cristian was shocked. In his eyes, Harriet was beautiful. He didn’t care about her shape. It exemplified the rest of her. Cristian could see the beauty beyond it all, and that made Harriet more enticing.
Enticing? Where had that come from?
“You have that much of a low opinion of yourself?” he asked.
Harriet snorted.
“Everyone else has.” She gave him a tiny smile. “But I understand where you’re coming from. Someone betrays you, it’s hard to trust anyone else.”
“Exactly.”
They were silent for a while longer. It was actually a very comfortable silence, one that Cristian had never experienced with anyone. Not even Lauren. She always needed to fill the silence with conversation, when all Cristian wanted to do was sit there and enjoy the quiet. Harriet thought the same thing.
He was feeling warmer now and it was nothing to do with the fire.
“May I ask you a question, Cristian?”
Cristian liked hearing her say his name.
“Of course.”
“Did your ex-wife ever say why she had so many affairs?”
Cristian sighed. He didn’t like to think about it. But Harriet had asked, and he wasn’t about to be rude to her again.
“She was upset that we couldn’t have children. Kept saying there was something wrong with me. I don’t know if one or both of us aren’t able to have children, but she sought comfort from other people.”
“That’s just cold.”
“It is. And she lied to me. Liars have no place in my life.” Cristian rubbed at his eyes. “Much as I would love to have children, I will be just as happy without them as long as I’m with someone I love. That’s enough for me.”
Cristian had made peace with the knowledge he might not become a father a long time ago. Lauren hadn’t been able to come to terms with the fact she would never be a mother unless she married someone else. That had been a bone of contention. Cristian hadn’t realized how bad it had got for his former wife until Christmas Day.
Harriet was looking at him thoughtfully. Cristian saw those beautiful blue eyes surveying him carefully. He could look at them all day and never get bored. Those eyes were beautiful, just like the woman.
“Your ex-wife had no idea what she was losing,” Harriet murmured. Then she realized what she had said and sat up, blushing. “Sorry, that was a little forward.”
“No, it’s fine.” Cristian was a little off-balance with that remark. He cleared his throat. “I’m just astonished that you would say that after I’ve been a…well, I’m sure you can fill in the gaps.”
“Natalie said to me that you’re a good man, and I trust her word.” Harriet sipped her whiskey pulling a face at each swallow. “And once she told me about Lauren, I understood a lot more of what you had gone through.”
Nobody else had said that to him. Then again, Cristian had not allowed anyone to get close. Natalie knew, but that was it. He could talk to his sister. But when was the last time he had spoken to anyone like this? Cristian couldn’t even remember.
There was something about Harriet that Cristian was softening to. He had misjudged her. She was not like Lauren at all. She was something else. Someone kinder, sweeter. She had a lot of fire, but there was a vulnerability about her that made Cristian want to wrap his arms around her and not let go.
That was a surprise. Harriet was a good person. Why hadn’t Cristian seen that before? Because he had been wrapped up in his own problems. He had been too miserable to notice and so he had hurt her because he was hurting. Harriet didn’t deserve that.
Harriet drained the rest of her glass, putting it on the cushion beside her.
“I think I’d better go back to bed. That drink should be enough to have me fall asleep quickly enough.”
Cristian found that he didn’t want her to leave. He wanted her to stay with him, watching the fire together. That was a shock for him. Even Lauren wouldn’t sit with him watching the fire after they had been married for a couple of weeks. There was always something else better to do.
Cristian was surprised to realize that the more he thought about Lauren, the more he noticed the flaws that he had ignored before. It was strange that it was coming to light now.
He gave Harriet a smile, rising to his feet.
“Thank you for sitting with me.” He meant it. “I didn’t realize how much I needed the company.”
“You’re welcome.”
Harriet hesitated. Then she approached him, kissing his cheek. It was a quick peck and then Harriet had pulled back, looking everywhere but at Cristian.
“Goodnight, Cristian.”
Cristian could only watch as Harriet hurried toward the stairs. He could still feel the heat of her lips on his skin.
Chapter Six
The next week passed by much more pleasantly. Now that Harriet had made the attempt to understand Cristian and he had released some of his anger, it was easier to talk to him. She didn’t feel nervous walking around wondering when he was going to get angry. If anything, Cristian seemed to be more relaxed, smiling more. And those smiles were enough to make Harriet want to swoon.
When the anger and the scowling lifted, Cristian was someone else completely. A man Harriet liked. A lot.
For a week, Cristian was at home more than he had been before. He kept seeking Harriet out, and they would talk. He was opening up even more, turning into a man she never knew was inside. She didn’t know what she had done, but Harriet liked it. She wasn’t about to complain.
Christmas was rapidly approaching. Harriet was getting excited as she and Natalie put the decorations up, put the tree up which made the whole house look pretty. To their surprise, Cristian even joined in, helping them when it was too high to reach.
Harriet wasn’t sure which of them was more surprised th
at Cristian Maffi, the man who hated Christmas, was helping out and enjoying it, her or Natalie. More than likely it was Natalie, seeing as she kept looking at her younger brother with her eyes almost popping out of her head.
It was the day before Christmas Eve when Cristian came stumbling into the house, carrying several packages. One dropped onto the floor. Harriet was alone in the house, putting the gifts she had wrapped moments before under the tree. She jumped up and hurried over.
“Careful! You’ll have everything on the floor.”
“I already have.” Cristian moved the parcel by his foot. “At least none of these rattle, clink or bend. I might be lucky.”
“Let’s hope so.” Harriet picked up the runaway parcel. “What’s going on?”
“It’s just a few gifts for people.”
“A few?” Harriet stared at them. “Are they all for Natalie?”
“No, of course not. I’ve wrapped yours and Natalie’s gifts already.” Cristian gestured at the parcels in his arms. “These are just for everyone else in the mines. Small things, mostly as an apology for my behavior.”
“It’s a sweet gesture.” Then Harriet realized what Cristian had said. She stared at him. “Wait a minute, did you just say you had a present for me?”
Cristian grinned.
“Of course.” He dropped the packages onto the couch. Then he turned to Harriet and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “You don’t think I’m going to miss out on my lodger as well?”
The kiss threw Harriet. It burned her skin and sent strange fluttery feelings into her stomach. She hadn’t expected it at all. Cristian hadn’t shown her any sort of affection, although he was a lot warmer toward her. She swallowed hard, trying to regain her composure.
“You… you didn’t need to get anything.”
Cristian chuckled. “I bet you got something for me as well.”
“A little something, I admit that.”
“There you go.”
“That’s only because I’m too soft-hearted,” Harriet added hurriedly and felt her face blush furiously.
“That you are.” Cristian kissed her cheek. “You’re a sweet woman, Harriet.”
