by S R Dyble
I took the opportunity to do something I'd wanted to do for so long. I slowly lifted my hand and held onto the back of his hand as he held it around my middle. I traced my fingers further up his arm and over his arm hairs. I wasn't expecting his hand to move and grasp around my hand, linking his fingers with mine.
"Nick?" I said quietly again.
"Yes?"
"I thought you were asleep…" I said, feeling a little embarrassed.
"I know," he said, gently rubbing his thumb over mine.
"You pretended to be asleep?"
"Shh, go to sleep," he hushed.
He continued his fingers brushing and linking over mine and it felt so good. I made the mistake of turning over ever so slightly to look at him. I wasn't sure why I needed to see him, and I couldn't in the dark. I could just about make out his eyes staring back at me as his hand ran further around my back and pulled me to fully face him. My breasts pressed against his chest and my breath hitched in my throat as his arm tightly encased me.
"Nick?" I said, almost as a whisper, but it did no good. He pressed his lips gently against mine. It felt so good that my whole body lit up and answered his touch. I kissed him back, opening my mouth ever so slightly so he could bring his tongue to mine. Within seconds we were kissing so passionately that Nick's hand gripped around my back and pulled me over him to straddle his body. The cover fell, revealing my bare body. Only my body was still pressed against Nick's chest as we continued to kiss each other. The need I felt in my centre grew as did the hardness I felt beneath where I straddled him.
"Lilly," he breathed against my neck as he continued trailing kisses down my shoulder.
As much as I knew I shouldn't have been doing this, I couldn't contain myself. I had planned to talk to Nick about how much I couldn't do this anymore and now I was sitting on top of him with my tits pressed against his chest. None of this reminded me of how it used to be though, we would fuck each other in desperation, we wouldn't have been able to keep our hands off of each other. We never rolled over each other like this, just holding each other and passionately kissing. It made my chest expand even without meaning it to and I knew I was in deep trouble.
"As much as I wanna make love to you, I don't wanna do anything you don't wanna do," he said against my lips.
Make love to me?
What happened to fucking me?
I'd never heard him say making love before.
I nodded, knowing I had to end this now and agree with him. I slid off of him which pained my whole body. Then I laid back down beside him and he wrapped his arm back around me.
"Sleep, baby," he said.
Was I even ready to go camping? The only camping I'd ever done was with my parents. We'd taken Eves with us a few times when we were about nine or ten. Each time we'd sat around the fire and had eaten melted marshmallows between digestive biscuits. We would all smell of BBQ smoke and would take turns to tell campfire stories. My dad always told the best stories. That was before the workload picked up, before my parents were travelling almost every other day to a new location. I didn't even get it, they had the house, the cars and enough money to live on. They'd become obsessed with reporting.
"Earth to Lilly, you in there behind those hazy green eyes?"
I snapped out of my daze, making my eyes sting.
"Sorry," I said, wiping at my eyes as Nick continued to stare at me.
"What were you thinking about?"
I shook my head. "Just my parents, I guess…"
He stopped piling our bags into the car to look back at me. I'd helped him carry our gear to the car and not one of us had said a thing about the night before. How I'd straddled him and how he'd caressed my skin and lips with his mouth. I frowned, wondering if I'd ever have the courage to speak with him. I was doing everything wrong—giving the totally wrong idea. He wanted a fuck buddy and for things to go back to how they were, I was sure of it. I just couldn't do that anymore.
"Lill'?" Nick disturbed my thoughts again and I blinked a few times, trying not to fall into another daydream.
"Are you okay?" he asked, making me look at him just as Sawyer and Teddy ran up behind the jeep and threw their things into the boot.
"Just like old times, hey buddy?" Teddy tapped his hand on the back of Nick's back. Then Nick gave him a tight smile. I knew something was bothering him.
"You've done this before?" I asked and Nick nodded hesitantly while staring at Teddy.
"Yeah, back before these brothers became boring and we hardly saw them anymore." Teddy grinned, teasing Nick the best he could.
"You still never shut the hell up," Nick joked and Sawyer laughed, shortly followed by Teddy.
"Didn't think he'd show back up with this beautiful little thing though…" Teddy smiled at me knowingly and smirked at Nick as if trying to taunt him further.
"Watch it," Nick warned him, still holding his smile. They laughed and each bashed Nick on the back before getting into the jeep.
"Where the hell is Omar?" Sawyer asked.
"He's probably gone with the others…" Nick said, starting the engine.
"Unlikely, you know Olivia—" Just then my phone rang and I excused myself to answer it.
I took steps away from the car as I stared at the caller ID. It was my parents’ agent and I closed my eyes before answering.
"Hey Lilly, how are you?"
I nodded, trying to stay calm although I knew she couldn't see me.
"I'm doing good…"
"Good..." she trailed on as I awaited the reason why she was calling.
"Your parents wanted me to ring you to schedule a date you'd like to have dinner. Once they've finished their report they're returning to Australia for a few nights for—"
"Jess, wait, my parents are still in the hospital. Why are you talking as if they aren't?"
Jess remained silent for a moment.
"Lilly, I'm sorry. I thought you knew. Your parents discharged themselves yesterday and are currently gearing themselves up to go live tomorrow."
I felt my heart sink and I gripped a hold of my chest.
"Lilly? You still there?"
"Yes, yes I'm still here…"
"Good, I'd thought I'd lost you."
I couldn't answer her, I was too upset and I tried beyond belief not to cry. My parents had not only gone against my wishes after I'd begged them not to risk their lives again, but I hadn't even been made aware that they were going back out to sea.
"Do you have a date in mind?" Jess asked and I glanced around to Nick and the boys waiting in the car as I swallowed the lump in my throat.
"No. I'll…" I couldn't bring my thoughts into words as I thought about the waves we had experienced during the pathetic rescue mission I had put together.
"I don't… I don't have a date, sorry Jess, I'm gonna have to call you back."
I couldn’t give Jess an answer, I just hung up and ran my hands through my hair. From where I stood to the back of the beach house, I could see the open ocean through the gap between the houses. Knowing my parents were once again going out there made me sick with anger and worry.
Then I noticed Omar walking down the sandy road and towards me. He stopped in his tracks to stare at me.
"Lill', you okay?"
I nodded and straightened myself up.
"There he is," I commented whilst glancing back at the car. None of them could hear me from this distance but could see me pointing at Omar.
"You sure you're okay?"
Again, I nodded and he glanced back at the car.
"It's gonna be crowded again but I really didn't wanna be stuck in a car with Olivia and her friends." He chuckled.
"Why?" I smiled, forgetting for a second the phone call I had just had.
"You know…" he wafted his hand up and down in a totally girly way, mimicking them and I couldn't help but laugh out loud.
"They're all great, but I'd rather be in this car… besides, pretty sure Olivia's strict rules on girls only is still in plac
e."
"I'll take that as a compliment, I guess…" I chuckled and so did he before we headed towards the car.
Nick was glaring at us both as we neared, and once we were both inside he sped off.
"Who was on the phone?" Nick asked me after a few seconds.
"I'll tell you later," I said staring out at the sea as we drove past. I'd taken the front seat today and Nick stared across at me.
"Where have you been?" Teddy asked Omar.
I could sense the smile in Omar's voice as he spoke. "Oh, Olivia was just telling a fascinating story." I noticed his eyes flicked to Nick's in the rearview mirror and Nick's hands tightened around the steering wheel. I frowned and glanced around the car.
Once we'd set off, we were silent until Teddy and Sawyer started making conversation in the back of the car. Omar got involved and before too long they were all discussing previous camping trips they'd taken. As they continued, I saw Nick becoming more and more on edge until I asked if he was okay.
"What?" he asked, almost snapping.
"I said are you okay?" I repeated and he seemed to loosen up a bit.
"Yeah." He smiled before returning his eyes back to the road and biting on his thumb.
"Have you been to this campsite before?" I threw the question out there for anyone to answer.
"Well, it's not really a campsite. We found this secluded lake and parked up there, we've never been bothered by anyone so we keep going back," Sawyer answered me.
"Isn't that like against the law? To just park up and camp anywhere?"
Sawyer and Teddy laughed. "Don't worry about that, sweetheart," Teddy said.
I frowned because if potentially coming into contact with scary spiders and creepy critters wasn't enough of a concern, I now had to worry about breaking the damn law as well. Then I glanced at Nick, Delta was apparently even higher than the police. I guess I didn't need to worry after all…
"It's my first time at this campsite too, Lilly. I'm as excited as you," Omar said in a way that made me glance back at Nick as he stared at Omar in the rearview mirror. Something definitely wasn't right, either Omar was genuinely excited or there was a hidden meaning to what he had said. Another thing I had to talk to Nick about…
"How far away is it?" I asked, remembering the amount of hours we'd spent in the car to drive to the amusement park.
"About an hour or two," Sawyer answered.
I nodded and twiddled with my fingers, feeling overly awkward for some reason. Maybe it was because I was packed in a car with four guys, or maybe it was the chat I needed to have with Nick looming closer.
What was I going to say to him?
No more fuck buddy for you dude…
Did I play it more sensitive? Although Nick was far from being the sensitive type of person.
I can't do this anymore, Nick, because I'm afraid I'll fall even more in love with you than I already am…
The thought came before I had a chance to stop myself thinking it and my head snapped to Nick.
He saw my drastic movement and looked at me, probably wondering why the hell I was staring at him like I was going to cry. Knowing we had an audience made me turn my head away just as quickly. I should have told him this and then left. I should have let him go camping with his friends without me.
Despite the beautiful scenery, the drive was borderline torturous and once the lads started fussing about nearly being there, I inwardly cheered. We pulled into a dirt track, the car jumping up and down as Sawyer and Teddy started singing chitty-chitty-bang-bang in the most masculine way. I wasn't even aware that was possible. Nick rolled his eyes but smiled at me as I laughed at them acting the fools in the back of the car. Eventually the dirt track ended and I was about to tell Nick to slow down when he continued through the mud and over broken tree branches.
"Jesus, you're gonna hit a tree-stump or something in a minute," I said, gripping a hold of my chair.
"Nearly there," Nick said and just then I could see a gap in the trees ahead.
He drove through the branches and all the lads cheered as we entered the most beautiful area cordoned off by trees. Rainforest surrounded the blank area of green grass, and a huge lake. I couldn't believe my eyes.
"What is this place?" I asked, absolutely stunned.
"We call it The Retreat," Omar said.
Somehow that name was nowhere near amazing enough to describe such a place. I wasn't sure why this place hadn't been turned into a tourist attraction with water sports and speed boats parading the water. But that would ruin it. The only sign of human life here was the man-made wooden dock that stretched into the water.
"I can't believe you've never been done for coming here."
"Been done?" Teddy asked, chuckling.
"Arrested…" Nick explained casually on my behalf.
"Well, we tidy up after ourselves and we don't ruin the grass with our cars. No one knows any different," Teddy answered.
As Nick's car pulled to a stop, and the car behind us did the same, I got out as if I'd just landed at Jurassic park. I stared in awe at the largeness of everything before me. The lake looked even bigger as I stood on the grass, and I rushed over to the water's edge to breath in the fresh air.
I love Australia.
I smiled and made my way down the wooden dock without waiting for anyone to come with me. I heard car doors opening and shutting and as I stood staring out into the water, I glanced behind me and back to the cars where I saw Nick stood casually against it, staring at me. From here I could just about see him smiling at me once he'd seen me looking at him. I was thankful that I'd platted my hair and placed it into a ponytail because the wind would have swept it around my face. Despite the breeze, it was still beautifully warm and I felt the sun splashing against my legs. I frowned then as I glanced back around to see Olivia against Nick, holding onto his arm and beaming up at him. If she had gotten any closer she'd have been pressed up against his body. Nick smiled down at her then went about pulling our things out of the car like Sawyer and Teddy.
I returned back to the car as Olivia left Nick's side and I stared at him longer than I should have. I was questioning him with my eyes and I had no right to be. I had to get my shit under control. I was planning on telling Nick that there was to be nothing between us and I was giving him a bitch stare for allowing Olivia to trace her hands up and down his arms.
"Stare at me any longer and I'm gonna turn to stone," he commented.
"A stone can't fuck everything that moves," I said far too quickly and regretted it straight away.
I wanted to punch myself, but instead I reached into the car and pulled out the tent and sleeping bags. I could feel Nick's eyes on me as I began to hobble away. I didn't dare turn around to see him looking at me, but instead I felt the rucksack holding the tent and the sleeping bags being pulled from my hands. I turned to see who had taken them, expecting to see Nick. Instead I saw Omar smiling at me and behind him I could see Nick still staring, now at the pair of us.
Omar helped me to carry my bags to where everyone had gathered to set up camp and I thanked him. He nodded his head and bowed in joke before going to Teddy and Sawyer to set up their tent.
"Well, that was nice of him," Nick commented as he neared and picked up the bag holding the tent inside.
"Yes, really nice," I smiled. I knew it pissed him off all the more, but I was angry at him.
I tried to summarise just why I was angry with him and these were the reasons I listed in my head:
Because Nick was unable to commit to anything and fucked everything that moved, it meant I would continue having feelings for him knowing he'd never be committed to me in return.
He wanted me just for sex and not for who I was as a person.
He allowed Olivia to touch him and caress his arms like she was fuck buddy number two.
I couldn't admit number four because Nick's eyes locked onto mine as if he was delving into my thoughts. I was pissed at him, and there was no hiding it. Funnily enough, th
e way his body attitude changed and he looked from me back to Omar, and then back again, he looked pissed off too… but he had no right to be.
I did my best to help him set up the tent—handing him the rails and trying not to fall and rip the fabric. He spoke to me only to ask for certain parts, or when he was directing me to do something.
"Okay, now we're all set up…" Olivia announced as I lifted my sleeping bag and lowered it flat inside of the tent, "Let's start with a game to get things started."
Oh, a game? I quite fancied a game of rounders or maybe even tennis. I'd even settle for a game of footy…
Then I remembered my damn sore foot and rolled my eyes.
I watched as everyone sat around a make-shift fire that was just being lit, even though it was still daylight. Was it only me that was completely stumped as to what game we were playing?
"Nick, come on, you're fantastic at this game," Olivia shouted for Nick who was collecting firewood not far away from where we were sitting.
He stared over at us, then away before dumping the branches he'd collected. He sat beside me where there was free space and Olivia beamed at her achievement.
"Okay, first game—couple’s challenge."
I rolled my eyes, knowing I'd have to pair up with Nick for this stupid named game.
"What is couple’s challenge?" I asked, sounding a bit pissed. I brought my legs up to my chest and leaned against the log that had been placed on the grass for a seat.
"We each pair up and the rest of us decide on a challenge for them to compete against each other," Frankie explained.
"Oh, so we're not actually a team but up against each other?"
Frankie nodded.
"Okay, so for the first round we'll go against the person sitting closest to us," Olivia announced.
I didn't look at Nick as everyone started to challenge each other.
Eventually it was our turn and Olivia looked from Nick back to me and then back again.
I couldn't wait to hear what she had planned.
"I dare you both to a diving challenge," she said simply.
"A diving challenge?" I asked as Nick sat still, now holding a bottle of beer.
