As the merrymakers brushed past, some kissing my hand, others my cheek, their faces were a blur of congratulations I had not earned and best wishes for an enduring reign, which carried an unspoken whisper of May you live to serve your people longer than your poor betrothed did…
Open as I had been with my dislike of Hishima to Mana and her clan, it became obvious as I was hugged and patted that my own saw me as this tragic heartbroken figure, deep in mourning. It was yet another obstacle between me and Murdoch that I despaired of having to overcome.
“Will you be joining us?” Mana leaned closer. “It’s not strictly required if you’d rather…”
“I think I’ll plead a headache.” Enough worried glances had been cast my way to satisfy the curiosity of anyone who asked. “Am I allowed to venture into the, ah, more restricted areas?”
“My home is your home.” Her nod reassured me. “You may come and go as you like.”
“Thank you.” I made immediate use of her hospitality. “In that case, do you think I might borrow a certain key?”
“I don’t mind.” She discreetly indicated Isolde. “But it’s not my hand you must pry it from.”
“Oh gods.” I cursed my luck she wore a ring of keys at her hip. “Why does she have them?”
“She asked Lleu for them earlier.” One eyebrow lifted. “When I asked why she wanted them, he said only she threatened any future children he might have planned if she wasn’t given them.”
“No one found her request peculiar?”
“You would have to know her better to understand how mundane the request was, for her.”
Oh, I believed her. “Bring her on, then. Let’s get this done with.”
Mana summoned her mother-in-law. I summoned my courage. Neither was quick to rally.
Chapter Fifteen
Isolde patted her hip in time with her steps as if she wanted to keep my attention on her ring of keys. “Hishima would have done you a good turn if he’d bothered dying after you were wed.”
A glance around proved we were alone. “I think it’s best things progressed as they did.”
“A proper year of mourning isn’t progress,” she scoffed. “It’s a bloody waste of time.”
“A year?” My voice cracked. “I was thinking more along the lines of six months.”
“Had you not become maven at the expense of your betrothed, you could marry tomorrow.”
She made her point. “You’re saying I can’t afford to appear insensitive.”
“No, you can’t.” She jingled her keys pointedly. “Your clan is mourning. So should you be.”
Leave it to Isolde to begin making sense when I least wanted her advice. “You are right.”
“Don’t sound so shocked.” She chortled. “I was maven before you could crawl.”
“I do appreciate your council.”
“That’s a nice way of saying you wish I hadn’t opened my mouth. That’s all right. There are ways around every problem if you only know where to look.” Her wink was not reassuring at all.
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh, I think you have an idea. You’re risking your reputation by visiting a suitor, especially one who’s imprisoned, while you’re in such a delicate condition. Right now, you’re a savior, a bit of a martyr most likely. If you tip from your pedestal, you’ve got a long, hard fall ahead of you.”
“You’re saying you know of a way for me to keep Murdoch’s company…discreetly.”
“I am the soul of discretion.” She laid a finger aside her nose. “But there are conditions.”
“Of course there are.” Stifling my groan, I asked, “Such as?”
“Let’s start with what you want. You want Murdoch, yeah? You want to take our captain of the guards away from Cathis in a time when war is possible, when every trained warrior we have is needed. That’s a hard sell. Even furious as Vaughn is with Murdoch, my son is no fool. What I need from you, then, is a reason we should let him leave. Can you offer us something of value?”
“Gold?” Thinking back on how Brynmor had purchased Murdoch’s loyalty long years ago, I wished I could recall my hasty offer. I did not want him feeling indebted to me, not in that way.
“Gold I have.” She waved her hand. “No. I thought perhaps you might renew an old offer.”
“An old offer.” I thought back on the flurry I had made in the hopes of buying an alliance.
Isolde tapped her earlobe.
My jaw set. “I thought my earrings were baubles of value less than that of a life.”
“That’s not what I said.” We reached the door leading down into the grotto, and she leaned a hand against it, holding it shut. “A handful of crystals, no matter how clever the trick, isn’t worth a score of armed warriors.” Her nails drummed the wood. “Now a handful of crystals for one…”
I rubbed a finger between my eyes. “Two earrings.”
“Ten.” She grinned.
“That’s robbery.” I gritted my teeth. “Five.”
“Eight.” Her tapping increased in volume.
“Six,” I said firmly.
“Seven.”
“Six.”
She cocked her head. “Is there an echo in here?”
“Let us be plain. If I give you what you want, you will see that Murdoch is placed as head of the guards sent to Titania. What then? Is there a time limit? How do I know he won’t arrive, stay a week, then be recalled. As we said, his position is such that he would be in high demand here.”
“I am old, but not so old and coldhearted not to know what you’re implying. Let us do this. I will see to Murdoch’s position as your head of the guards. As he is sworn to me as much as he is my son, I can guarantee you that. For the price, I set seven earrings for a year of his time. At the end of that period, he can choose to remain in Titania or return to Cathis. By then, your period of mourning will have ended. If you see fit to elevate him in rank from guard to paladin, well, that’s your business and I won’t interfere.” Her expression shifted. “Brynmor did right by the boy, but I know the man chafes. I’d have to be blind not to see it, and both eyes work fine, thank you much. I know there comes a time when the past weighs so heavily on the present, the future is crushed.”
“All right.” I held out my hand to shake hers. “He is worth that much and more to me.”
“Bold declaration, girl.” Isolde snorted. “But perhaps unwise to blurt before a deal’s closed.”
“We are in agreement. Give me the keys. The keys…” My eyes widened. “You knew.”
A sharp grin split her face. “I know all manner of things.” She clasped my limp hand in hers.
I resisted the urge to throttle her. “You knew I would come for Murdoch.”
“You said as much,” she reminded me. “All I had to do was lie in wait.”
“Until I plucked the threads of your web and drew your eye.”
“Dear, sweet girl.” She dropped the keys into my hand and folded my fingers over them. “If you are to rule with any success, then take my advice. Use all resources available to you. Use all people available to you. Guilt has no place here. Vanity has no place here. Humility, well, much as I hate the taste of humble pie, that one might do you good. I know you think me hard. I am. If I softened, my city would crumble. Our existence depended on my ability to provide for us, and I have no regrets. I did terrible things. Things that turn my stomach to think of them. So my advice to you is be strong, be mercenary. Never fear another’s hatred or their envy. Oh. One more thing. It’s simple enough.” She tapped my shoulder and lowered her voice. “Always watch your back.”
The keys in my palm felt heavier somehow. “I will keep your advice in mind.”
“See that you do.” Looking very pleased with herself, she walked past me.
“There is one more thing.”
“Well?” Her steps slowed. “What is it?”
“I noticed a few items of interest in your room,” I ventured, “besides the wing.”
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br /> Her shoulders stiffened. “Figured I’d hear about that sooner or later.”
I braced myself for her anger. “Then I’m sorry to be so predictable.”
“Enough suspense.” She turned. “What do you want from me?”
“Nothing,” I answered truthfully.
“No one wants nothing for keeping a secret. What’re you after? You want out of our deal?”
“It’s more that I want you to do something. As Mana’s advisor, perhaps you could advise a little more and manipulate a little less? I understand her inexperience filling your former role is a temptation for you to step into her position and perform her duties rather than teaching her to fulfill her obligations, but the fact remains she is maven. More than that, she’s my friend. I want what’s best for her. If that means suggesting to your son perhaps he ought to inspect your rooms, I will.”
“You don’t know what you’ve stumbled across, girl. Or what the knowledge would do to my son.” She heaved a sigh. “You made your point. I’ve neglected Mana. I owe her better than that.”
“I regret broaching the topic this way.” If she would listen to reason, we might have talked.
“After the time I’ve given you?” She whirled from me. “I somehow doubt that.”
I let her take two steps before blurting, “May I ask something?”
“Why not?” She flicked her wrist. “You’ve got me by the short and curlies. Ask away.”
Despite her peevishness, I ventured, “Do you really miss being a maven so much?”
Her soft laughter reached my ears. “Who said I ever stopped?” As if sensing my confusion, she glanced back at me. “You don’t listen well, do you? Being a maven means you put clan first. Always. I do that every day, and I need no title to be what I am.”
“Thank you.” At her smirk, I said, “No. I mean it. Thank you. For sending Bram, the pack, for everything.”
A flush spread across her wrinkled cheeks. “You’re welcome.” Pulling herself up taller, she turned and resumed her walk. “Now. If you don’t mind, sweet wine is flowing and I’ve a mighty thirst. I hope your headache eases. I’m sure a few hours lying abed ought to cure what ails you.”
My mouth fell open, but spluttering was the best I managed. Put well in my place, I stared at the key in my hand and debated the wiseness of my actions. Quick as my fingers closed, I turned the knob and descended the stairs into the grotto. Mold perfumed the air. My guide was one lone torch flickering before a cell where Murdoch must be listening to sounds of merriment overhead.
“Kaidi.” There was no question in the way he said my name.
“I’m here.”
Footsteps scuffled. Hands closed around the bars. “I thought you had decided to stay away.”
My chest tightened at the sight of him. “I can leave if you prefer.”
“You should.” Torchlight illuminated his face. “Staying here with me is madness.”
“Madness would be leaving you down here alone in the cold when you might have warmth and company.”
“Cold or not, you’re maven now.” His knuckles whitened. “You shouldn’t be here.”
Pride stinging at his rebuke, I stood before him, forced him to look at me. “Tell me to go.”
His eyes were as black, cold and hard as Vaughn’s ever had been. “I just did.”
“You said I should, not that you wished me to.”
“I want you to leave. Now. Before you’re seen. There.” He retreated into his cell. “I said it.”
“More’s the pity.” I grasped the bars. “I don’t believe you.”
He lifted his head. “Must you make everything difficult?”
“I was just wondering the same thing about you.” His defeated posture dampened my palms. “I told you I would come for you. Here I am. You must have known I would not leave you here.”
“You are maven now.” His voice was a whisper. “You must think of your reputation.”
“We have known for some days I would become maven. That did not prevent me from being allowed to share your company on the way to Cathis.” To my regret, “Nothing happened that we could not be seen doing, but that doesn’t change the fact we slept side by side as Hishima’s body cooled in the cavern below us. If my title didn’t bother you then, why should it bother you now?”
“The thing about caverns, grottos, is how well sound carries.” He gestured. “I heard Isolde.”
Thinking on our conversation, there was nothing I would begrudge him hearing. “And?”
“It’s a simple thing to forgive what happens after the heat of battle, when shock is fresh and judgment is clouded. Your clan will view your actions as those of a bereaved female who sought protection, who feared for her life and for theirs, who clung to their guardian. That is forgivable.”
His words stirred my ire. “You would prefer my clan believe I am a coward?”
His growl of frustration mirrored the one rising in my chest. For a time, we snarled as beasts at each other. “You are more stubborn than any sensible female ought to be. Braver than is wise. You’re no coward. Only a fool would dare call you one. What does it matter what they believe?”
“Exactly.” I slapped the bars with my palms. “What does it matter if they see us together?”
He ran a hand through his hair. “Your reputation—”
“If Hishima had died naturally, if I had a home for you to wreck, that would be one thing.” I gripped the bars and rattled his cage. “He didn’t, and I don’t. I have a heap of ash and stone, and so few clansmen to my name claiming a title seems ridiculous.” Absolute clarity struck me, and I had to wonder if this wasn’t yet another of Isolde’s schemes come to fruition. “No one who looks upon my city, upon me, could begrudge me a helpmate who could protect me and mine while we restore what was lost. Rawer wounds have been sliced open than ours. I will not skulk about with you in the dark. I am done with secrets and lies. If you do not want me, well, that I will respect.”
“Would you?” His laughter was exhausted, frustrated and warmed me to my bones.
“Respect your decision, yes. Abide by it, no.” I slid my hand through the bars and waited for him to come to me. “I have tasted your lips, mapped your skin, and I know only hunger for you.”
At last, he strode forth and laced our fingers. “It is cruel to say such things to a caged male.”
“Did you not hear?” I teased him, reaching into a pocket. “I have a key.”
His gaze latched on to it. “I heard you bargain for it, but not the outcome.”
“This…” I dangled it from my finger, “…cost me seven crystal earrings.”
The desire in his eyes cooled. “That is far too much.”
I tightened my fingers so he could not release my hand. “I have bought you a year to decide your fate. There is no price too high to place on a person’s freedom. I am not Brynmor. This is a gift. This is not a thing I do with any expectation of being paid back. It is not a debt you owe me. It is a chance for you to see what your life might have been had you not been forced into the role you play now. I do not need a provider. I do not need you to sacrifice for me. If you want to do a thing for me, accept my offer without condition. Do this for yourself. If you pine for Cathis, then at the year’s end, I will return you.” Though the prospect made me despair. “I promise you that.”
He seemed at a loss. “I could never repay you.”
I tugged at our joined hands. “A gift requires no compensation.”
“Compensation implies repayment of the original sum, which I could never do.”
“I see you fail to grasp the definition of the word gift.” I managed to move him a step closer.
“Those earrings almost bought you an army.”
“Ah, but they didn’t, did they?” I brought him two steps nearer. “If you prefer, think of them as compensation for the pain I inflicted upon you, or for pants ruined in my first escape attempt.”
He scoffed. “My pants were hardly worth…”
Near as he stood, I could reach through the bars and finger the closure of said pants, so I did. His breath whistled through his teeth, his fingers digging into mine as I coaxed him in easy reach of my greedy hand. “Let me do this thing for you. Think not of the cost. I see it as an investment of hours, my time to spend how I choose. It’s not as if I would have to purchase crystals for what I require. I have several in my family’s cache in the cavern that would do. I know our worlds are far apart, that our lives and families are quite different, but perhaps a difference is needed. These are strange and troubling times for us all, and a wise maven once told me to use any advantage.”
He caught my wrist before I cupped the hard bulge rising to meet my hand.
“Keep using that advantage,” he groaned, “and I’ll lose what shred of self-control I possess.”
I laughed at his seriousness. “You are the embodiment of the self-controlled male.”
“Not around you.” He lifted my hand to his mouth. “Never around you.”
“Shall I come in? Or had you rather I let you out?” Either way, I wanted no bars between us.
“I won’t take you here, like this.” His sigh masked a borderline growl. “We should wait.”
“I’m not a fan of waiting.”
Taking the matter into my own hands, I disentangled from him and put the key I had won to good use. I unlocked his cell and stepped inside. I expected slimy floors and moldy bedding. His cell had neither. The small room was dry. Though a day old, the scent of freshly laundered sheets made a dent in the musty odor filling the grotto. In the corner, on the edge of the mattress, one of his books sat. He would worry the dampness might work into its pages, so that led me to believe Isolde had left it for him. Mana, with her collection of herbology texts, would have known better.
I perched on the bed and lifted the book. “A History of Cathis. How did this get down here?”
Murdoch peered through the door toward the empty staircase. “Vaughn was here earlier.”
“Why?” Come to assuage his guilt or perhaps to feed his pride?
“He wanted to speak with me in depth about what I saw and heard, about my thoughts on the Necrita and the danger facing our clan, and yours. He asked how the others had died. I told him it was only by their sacrifice that I stood before him. I told him, too, how Hishima died, and what it meant for the rest of us. If a mother will kill her son without hesitation, what else might she do?”
A Time of Dying (Araneae Nation) Page 22
