Annika smiled. As a creative and original person she could be extremely unfocused, and organisation and logistics were not her strong point. It was nice to have the privilege of not having to think about the practical issues of life whenever possible and of being able to concentrate on her feelings.
The very next day Annika received the itinerary and circled 22nd May on her wall calendar with a red marker. Once again she had yet another positive date to look forward to.
27
“Hurry up!”
Monica ran from one room to the other wearing just her panties and bra. She looked rather ridiculous in her underwear and heavy makeup, with white flowers arranged in her hair.
In all likelihood no groom has been present at the preparations during the hours just before his bride's wedding. It is reckoned to be unlucky if the husband-to-be even glimpses his bride's wedding dress before the actual wedding ceremony. That is why not one of them ever gets to see how nervous brides are, how hysterical they can become or how irrationally they act on their wedding day. Nor do they witness the dramatic and complex procedures of all the sophisticated fine-tuning - how thick layers of makeup hide those little imperfections in a bride's skin, how the eyeliner makes her eyes look as if they are so much bigger, while the lipstick plumps up her lips. How fortunate that the groom sees only the final result.
On the other hand, when two drug addicts get married, nobody should expect anything normal. Stefan was sitting on the living-room floor in the new suit he had bought for the wedding, holding his guitar to his chest. With a look full of apathy and pain he watched Monica running back and forth and wondered how he had ever got himself into such a situation. He knew that it was all completely wrong, that it was someone else who ought to be in Monica's shoes and that, as a matter of fact, he absolutely loathed and despised her vulgar shoes.
Monica, on the other hand, was absolutely elated. She had finally managed to bring about the day that she’d been waiting for for so long. She had been nagging Stefan for ages that they should get married. It had been her childhood dream to wear a white wedding dress and have a fairy-tale wedding day. Strange how ordinary dreams can still co-exist with drug addiction!
Drugs had killed all her emotions one by one and Monica knew herself that this wedding was nothing to do with love. She just wanted to turn her childhood dream into reality because she knew only too well that each passing day reduced the chance of anything good, bright and nice ever happening to her.
After many months of her wheedling, crying and begging, Stefan had finally given in and agreed to marry her, and today was the day.
“Stefan, please get up off the floor. We have to leave in five minutes!”
All Stefan wanted was for her to shut up - oh and he wanted his fix, of course. He wanted to get rid of the feeling that what he was on the point of doing was something very, very wrong. It felt as if this was his last step towards the edge and that that irreversible step would completely destroy everything he still had. All he had were his illusions, misery and pain, but at least they made him aware that he was still alive.
A few minutes later they walked to the church. It was a mere five hundred metres from Stefan's apartment. Monica tottered along in her high heels with unsteady gait. She looked beautiful but artificial.
In contrast to Monica, Stefan looked very handsome but totally miserable. His eyes were full of sadness and loneliness. Were it not for the white flower poking out of the buttonhole on his suit lapel, and Monica in her wedding dress, you would have thought he was on his way to a funeral.
People were surprised to see the couple on the street. It was unusual since weddings were associated with limousines, guests and flowers. But then again, with Monica and Stefan nothing was usual.
“What time is this appointment with the pastor?” Stefan asked.
“Appointment? Stefan, you make it sound as if it’s a visit to a doctor, for Christ's sake!” snapped Monica.
“So when is it?” Stefan looked gloomy.
“In ten minutes’ time,” snarled Monica.
They kept on walking. Both were thinking thoughts quite inappropriate for people who were going to be wed in ten minutes’ time.
Stefan thought of Annika, and with each step he looked back at their happy times together. With each step he withdrew further from Monica and felt the absurdity of the whole situation.
Monica on the other hand thought that at least one of her dreams was at last going to come true. She thought that maybe she could be buried in her wedding dress when she died. That would in all likelihood be at a relatively young age and from an overdose, so maybe...
They reached the church and went inside. The building was empty and silent. Jesus Christ looked down at them from his cross. The staccato of Monica's high heels echoed resoundingly throughout the church. Most probably it got on God's nerves too, thought Stefan.
The pastor came toward them with a big smile on his face. He greeted them and, taking their hands, led them to the altar.
“Are you ready?” He looked at them benignly.
“Yes,” Monica answered for both of them, as if feeling that Stefan might say something completely inappropriate.
Stefan was not listening to the pastor. He was trying to listen to his heart instead. Stefan's heart was opposed to everything that was happening there. Stefan stood there and looked at the pastor. He watched him talking but did not hear the words. All Stefan wanted to do was turn around and leave. Leave everything behind – Monica, the pastor, all his sins, his regrets, his memories... and everything else that made him realise how miserable he was.
He felt how Monica nudged his shoulder.
“Hey!” She looked at him in astonishment.
“You did not answer, my son,” explained the pastor in a warm tone, which was in huge contrast to Monica's high, thin voice.
“I’m sorry,” was all that Stefan could say.
“What?” Monica had a big question mark in her eyes.
Stefan turned to Monica.
“I said I’m sorry!” Stefan repeated. “I can't.”
He took the rings from his pocket and handed them to the pastor. Then he turned around and did exactly what he felt like doing – he left.
Monica was shouting something behind him.
The pastor looked down at the rings and thanked God that they had not ended up on Monica's and Stefan's fingers.
28
Annika was reading on the plane. She did not like flying alone and always took books and magazines with her to fend off the boredom. At some point she shut the book, closed her eyes and began thinking. It dawned on her that she no longer felt any attachment to her motherland. Despite having lived in the country of her birth all her life, she felt much more comfortable and at peace in Amsterdam. With a pang of guilt she had to admit to herself that, in all honesty, she would not like to live in her country any more - ever. Maybe that made her a bad patriot, maybe that made her a bad representative of her small nation, but it was how she felt. Truth to tell, were it not for Vasko, then most probably she would not have been flying back home for at least a few more years.
Annika tried to concentrate on the bright side of things. She thought of how much Vasko had grown up. From the shy boy she had once known, he had now turned into a real man, and a man who did his utmost to please her, who loved her with all his heart and who was always honest with her. After almost losing her, Vasko had done everything possible - and impossible - to win her back. But given Annika's fiercely independent nature, he’d assigned himself mission impossible.
When the plane had landed and Annika was walking to passport control, she looked around and understood why this place held such little attraction for her. People were gloomy, there was not a smile in sight, everyone looked unfriendly and, no matter how much time went by, the place still bore the unmistakable and seemingly indelible imprint of its former communist past.
But all her gloomy feelings dissolved as soon as Annika saw Vasko standing
there waiting for her with a huge bouquet of flowers and a smile on his face. She ran up to him and melted in his hug. She had had no idea that Vasko was going to arrive earlier and meet her at the airport.
“Welcome home, my dear,” said Vasko as he kissed her and took her suitcase.
They hugged and headed off to the taxi.
Vasko had planned everything down to the last detail. A few weeks before their trip he had made sure that the apartment they had shared before their break-up was vacant, and he’d reserved it for them. He had asked a friend to ready it for them in advance so it was just as he wanted it to be when they arrived.
Vasko also took care of a great many other details, as Annika was to find out later. If his finance career did not work out, he would definitely make a great event organiser or logistics manager, Vasko thought to himself.
When they got into the taxi and Vasko gave the driver the address they were headed to, Annika looked at him in amazement.
“You’ve got to be kidding!” she smiled, with eyes as big as saucers.
“This is just the beginning,” Vasko replied with a wicked look in his eyes.
Annika had no idea what to expect and was gripped by the excitement of anticipation.
When they entered their apartment, both were overwhelmed by memories. They stood and looked around. The apartment looked different from how it had been before, but somehow they felt they’d come home. At the same time both felt as if ages had passed since the days when they had lived there together.
Their first evening in the city was better than any evening they had ever spent before. Now they had no financial constraints and could afford everything they’d dreamed of back then. Vasko took her to the expensive restaurant they used to pass by every day but had never dined in. They bought posh English tea and a small cake from the city’s most upmarket patisserie and took them home.
They spent the evening sipping the tea, eating the heavenly cake and looking at the photos from their past life together. Vasko had kept them all and had put them into one big album.
No wonder that, after the flight, the perfect day full of positive emotions and their quiet evening at “home”, they were both tired and fell asleep hugging each other as soon as they got into bed.
****
The sounds coming from the kitchen awakened Annika. She opened her eyes and it took her some time to realise where she was. The smell of coffee invaded the bedroom and, with a smile on her face, Annika waited for the coffee to be brought to her in their bed.
Everything seemed so ideal that it scared Annika. She always felt tense when everything was okay and thought that things couldn't stay like that forever. The phrase “too good to be true” kept running through her mind and unfortunately her experience of life had borne out the theory all the time. But today Vasko was going to prove the opposite...
Vasko came in with a smile on his face and a tray in his hands. It was not only coffee but also a delicious English breakfast. He put the tray on Annika's lap, kissed her lips and sat next to her.
“Aren't you going to eat anything?” asked Annika.
“No, I am too nervous to do that yet,” Vasko replied.
“What's the matter?” The expression “too good to be true” started running through her head again.
“Nothing you need to know about until you finish your breakfast,” said Vasko with a reassuring smile.
“No way! I can’t eat knowing that you have something important to tell me.”
“Who said it was important?” Vasko teased her.
“Your empty stomach, your eyes and your tense body,” Annika answered.
“Maybe...”
Annika put her tray aside stating that there will be no breakfast before he spits it out.
“Okay. Knowing how stubborn you can sometimes be, I guess I have no choice, do I?”
“Of course NOT! If you want the bacon and eggs still to be warm by the time we get to them, you have to tell me now,” replied Annika, knowing that she had won the argument already.
Vasko was always softer and inclined to give in when they were arguing.
“Okay...”
Vasko took a small, tissue-wrapped box out of his pocket and handed it to Annika.
Annika grabbed it and started unpacking impatiently. When she opened the box and saw what was in it, her breath stopped.
“Will you marry me?”
Annika looked at the diamond ring. She was not ready to look at Vasko yet... Annika closed her eyes, sent her final goodbye to Stefan, promised not to think about him ever again, and only then did she look straight into Vasko's eyes and say:
“Yes!”
For Vasko, the few seconds before Annika spoke felt like an eternity. He was not a risk taker and this was riskier than the bungee jump. He was not at all sure she would say yes... and if she refused, he did not know what he would do... There was no plan B... only a well-organised plan A and a hope.
Annika hugged him tight and tears slid down her cheeks. She had had to go to Amsterdam in order to find and retrieve the “better version” of Vasko. She could count on this updated version now, no more betrayals, misunderstandings or long-distance tortures. Things could only get better. At least that's what she thought...
Vasko looked at his watch.
“Hurry up! We’ll be late if you don't.”
“What? Where are we going?”
“To church! Our wedding is in an hour.”
“What??? Are you kidding?”
“Were you kidding when you said yes?”
“No, I was serious.”
“So was I.”
Annika jumped out of bed and opened her suitcase. She was absolutely certain that she did not have anything suitable for a wedding though....
One by one the contents of the suitcase were tossed on the floor: two pairs of jeans, a few blouses and T-shirts, leggings, lingerie, a wide red belt, denim shorts... and one long white skirt, which gathered dust from the floor when she walked in it.
That's it, she thought. The skirt might work.
She put on the skirt and pulled it up to cover her breasts. Then she put on the red belt and her boots. Not bad... for a hippie sort of wedding. She did her hair in a ponytail and put on a little light makeup. The only things to bring some elegance to the outfit were the long pendant earrings, which almost touched her shoulders. Annika looked in the mirror and decided that it was okay. She never expected to have a “normal” wedding anyway!
29
“Dear parents-in-law,
I am very sorry for the way I am informing you, but please believe me when I say it was the best possible way I could think of.
Your daughter has just made me the happiest man on earth by accepting my proposal of marriage. We have just had a very simple wedding today at St. Gregory’s church (just the two of us there, so there is no reason to feel offended).
By the time you receive this letter, we will be on a plane taking us to Costa Rica for our honeymoon.
In two weeks we will be back and look forward to having dinner with you and my parents.
Kind regards,
Vasko”
A letter of similar content was written to Vasko’s parents too. He posted them on their way back from the church and they had three hours before their flight. Their first flight as a married couple...
****
Vasko's mum opened the letter with a wide smile on her face. Vasko did not write often and all his letters were precious to her. She anticipated a warm text with “missing you”, “love you”, “hugs” and “kisses”. Instead of that she read Vasko's brief piece of news.
It was a bolt from the blue. She had been so happy to know that they had broken up. She had had no idea that they had got back together again.
Her face turned red. She was furious. “How could he?” she wondered. What made her mad was the fact that she had found out about it after the event. Now it seemed there was nothing she could do. That thought alone caused two unexpected te
ars to run down her cheeks.
Vasko’s father came in and saw her standing in the middle of the room with a letter in her hand and tears in her eyes. Naturally he got worried.
“What’s the matter, Elena?”
They did not have a warm relationship, so words like dear, honey or darling were not in their vocabulary.
“Here Ivan, look,” she answered with a cold voice and handed him the missive.
Ivan read it and smiled.
“Ah, okay! So that is why you are crying… Instead of being happy for our son, you find something tragic in all this?”
Highfall Page 11
