Lara Van Hulzen
Remember Me
Book One in the Men of Honor Series
Copyright © 2014 by Lara Van Hulzen
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this work may be reproduced in any fashion without the express, written consent of the copyright holder.
This is a work of fiction. All characters and events portrayed herein are fictitious and are not based on any real persons living or dead.
*Cover design by Crystal Posey
For Craig
For Everything
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Acknowledgments
About The Author
Chapter 1
Tess reached for her purse at the end of the desk. It slipped from her hand and dumped upside down.
“Ugh! Just great!”
She dove for her lipstick as it threatened to roll under the desk, grabbing it at the last second. The cold tile bore into her palms and seeped through the thin fabric of her scrubs. She collected the other items scattered around and shoved them back into her purse. Would this shift ever end?
“Tess, the unidentified male in room 204 is all yours.”
Apparently not.
“You okay, honey?”
Tess looked up. Her supervisor leaned over the tall counter of the nurses’ station. Gwen had worked the ER for so many years, she could stay up longer than anyone Tess had ever met. The woman never slept.
“Yeah, Gwen, I’m fine.” She plopped her purse back on the counter and stood. “Thanks for asking, boss.”
“Sorry to throw this one at you so close to your quitting time, but I told Corey she could leave early. She’s got a little one sick at home.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. No worries. What’s the patient’s background?”
“Came in a bit ago. Late 20’s, early 30’s. Car accident. Has no memory. Lacerations to the head and torso. He’s in observation now. He’s kind of a looker too.” She winked at Tess. “If you’re into the large, lumberjack-looking type. That beard he’s got is mighty nice.”
Tess smirked and left the nurses’ station. She actually did like the type, but the last “lumberjack” she had all but left her at the altar. Ben was really more of a surfer type but because of his beard, Tess used to tease him about being her mountain man. A mountain man she really needed to work harder to forget.
“Let’s see what we have.” She pushed open the door of room 204.
Propped up with pillows, the man was awake and looking out the window. His hands were limp, an IV taped to the top of his right hand.
He turned toward her and the soles of her Nikes made a squeak as she stopped short. His dark hair was mussed, curls at the end where it had grown out some, his beard longer than she remembered. It made his brown eyes stand out.
“Hello,” he said.
“Ben.” His name escaped her lips as a breath.
“Sorry? What did you say?”
She blinked and shook her head. How was this possible? Ben. Here. In her hospital. She avoided his eyes and ran a clammy hand down the leg of her scrubs.
“Um, nothing.” Moving to the other side of the bed, she checked his IV bag. It shook from her trembling.
“How are you feeling?” Her voice cracked. She had to hold it together.
“Pretty good, I guess. Sore, but okay.”
It was Ben. Her Ben. Still gorgeous. He hadn’t gone bald the way she’d hoped after he dumped her. Damn.
He rubbed his hand through his hair, brushing his elbow against her arm. A rush of heat soared through her. Her cheeks flushed. How could he be so close and have no idea who she was? She fought the urge to punch him in the nose.
“I just wish I could remember something—anything,” he continued.
She could practically feel the weight of his stare at her back as she let go of the IV bag and began typing on the computer keyboard next to his bed.
Just focus on your job. What you know. What you can depend upon.
“You don’t remember anything?” Hands shaking against the keyboard, she hoped he couldn’t hear her heart pounding out of her chest.
“I don’t. The doctor said I was in a car accident, but I don’t remember anything.”
“What about your name?” She swallowed. Hard.
He laid his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. “Nope. Nothin’.”
Like a lost little boy, he sounded fragile. Far from the Ben she knew and loved. Well, used to love. She faced him and placed a hand on the bed railing, if only to hold herself up. “It’ll be okay. I’ll go talk to the doctor and be back to check on you soon.”
“Thanks.” He smiled, a dimple peeking through his beard.
Giving him a quick smile through gritted teeth, Tess headed for the door, praying her knees wouldn’t give way. She made it to the hallway, leaned against the wall, and put her head in her hands. A scream formed in her throat and threatened to escape, but she swallowed it down. Wailing in the tranquil hallway would be more than frowned upon by her boss.
“This can’t be happening. What am I gonna do?”
***
Ben stared at the door long after it latched. Frustration had been burning a hole in his gut at not being able to remember anything. Then the tiny angel entered his room. It was odd how she calmed him.
He’d watched her as she’d typed something on the computer, taking advantage of the chance to ingrain in his memory her golden hair twisted up in a clip and her petite hands moving fast over the keyboard. Her eyes were a sea of green. Something familiar about them danced on the edge of his subconscious.
He raked a shaky hand through his hair and scratched his beard. Why did he have a beard? Did he even like beards? Did the nurse like men with beards? His eyes wandered to his bicep. A tattoo of ocean waves intertwined with some kind of bamboo design encircled his arm.
“I wonder if she likes tattoos?”
His mind swirled with questions he couldn’t answer. He remembered being in a car and driving somewhere important, but that was all. Like a movie he’d watched years ago, the image floated in a haze and then disappeared.
“Why can’t I remember?” His growl echoed in the hollow room. He tossed the blanket off his legs, leaving a thin hospital gown the only thing between him and complete embarrassment.
“Who cares?” he grumbled. He swung his legs off the bed and headed for the window. Maybe looking outside would jog his memory. Give him some idea of what brought him here. He took a step, then everything went black.
***
Tess stood at the nurses’ station, staring at the wall. Ben was here. Down the hall. He was her patient. She had just begun to move forward, trying hard to leave the memories of them behind.
“Hey, Tess. Are you okay?” Gwen came around the desk and took a seat behind the computer.
Tess plastered a grin across her face. “Yes! Yes, I’m totally fine.”
“You sure don’t look like it. You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”
“Yeah, something like that.” She grabbed a Jolly Rancher from the candy dish on the desk, unwrapped it, and po
pped it in her mouth.
“I know. It’s that cutie in 204 I sent you to see, isn’t it?” Gwen winked at her.
Tess didn’t respond. If she only knew.
Time for a subject change. She tucked the candy in her cheek. “So, Gwen. What’s the protocol for something like this? I’ve never seen a John Doe case before.”
“I called Janet from social services. She’s on her way. And law enforcement will want to speak with him. I’m sure they’ll send someone soon.”
A crash reverberated down the hall, causing both women to jump. They looked at one another and ran toward the noise.
Gwen got to the room first. Tess peered over Gwen’s shoulders. Ben was sprawled across the bed on his stomach, his gown opened in the back, revealing more than either woman needed to see. His tray lay knocked over on the floor, and the water cup and pitcher were across the room against the far wall.
Gwen’s ample bosom bobbed as she chuckled and stepped aside, giving Tess access to the room. “He had on some nice boxer shorts with four-leaf clovers on them when he came in. Bet he wishes those were still on.” She shook her head. “Ten bucks says lumberjack boy thought he could get out of bed without any help. They drop like lead, don’t they?” She laughed again.
Tess remembered the boxer shorts. She’d given him those exact shorts for St. Patrick’s Day last year as a nod toward his mother’s Irish heritage, even though he looked more Italian, like his father. Of course Ben would actually wear them. Nothing embarrassed him. Although that might change once he found out how Tess and Gwen had found him. She snickered at the thought. Ben moaned, waking up enough to help the two women get him settled. Back in bed he relaxed, his eyes still closed.
A soft bell in the hall rang, alerting the two nurses another room was in need.
“I’ll get it,” Gwen said. “You stay here with him.”
Tess nodded. She checked Ben over to make sure he hadn’t harmed himself when he fell, noticing only a fresh small cut along his forehead, most likely from hitting the tray as he went down.
She got some ointment and a bandage out of the supply drawer and tended to his wound. Brushing a lock of hair off his forehead, she couldn’t hold back from running her thumb over his brow. It helped to have a moment to watch him without a response. He looked peaceful. How could he be the same man who crushed her heart? A heart now marred by scars. Anger battled love inside her, causing her stomach to turn. What was she going to do? She thought him gone from her life for good. Now he was here and unable to explain himself. Did she even want an explanation? After he left she sure did, but now? What would it take to make her heart agree with her head?
***
His mother smiled as she leaned over him, her long hair caressing his face. The faint smell of her perfume enveloped him. The vision faded. Bright green eyes stared into his.
“Are you an angel?”
For one brief moment, she held his gaze. Then her abrupt movements brought him back to the hospital room and reality.
He lifted his head up off the pillow to look around. Ugh! Pain shot through his temples. He lay back again.
“You passed out,” the nurse said. “You cut your head on the tray.” She looked back over her shoulder to the mess on the floor. Anger threaded her tone. Was she mad at him for trying to get out of bed?
“Sorry.” He hated how weak and fragile he sounded. “I just wanted to look out the window to see if anything would help me remember.”
He watched as she put ointment on a Q-tip then leaned toward him, applying it to his head. Her bottom lip stuck out in a slight pout, a kissable pout for sure. Her breath smelled sweet, like candy. He licked his lips. “What’s your name?”
Standing straight, she looked at him, her mesmerizing eyes wide. Why would that question surprise her?
“Tess. My name is Tess.”
Her eyes searched his for a response, but he just smiled, not knowing what to say.
“Well, you don’t look too worse for wear.” He hadn’t noticed the other nurse had entered the room. She had short, curly hair. Glasses hung from a chain around her neck. “How are things in here?”
“Just fine, Gwen.” Tess finished bandaging Ben’s cut. “I think he’ll live.”
“Hope you aren’t too embarrassed, honey,” she said to Ben. Then over her shoulder as she left the room, “But you might want to put those Irish boxer shorts back on when you get a chance.”
As the door clicked closed, Ben looked at Tess. “What is she talking about?”
She laughed, collected the bandage wrapping, and threw it in the trash. “I’ll be back to check on you in a bit. Don’t try and get out of bed again.”
Then she was gone.
***
Tess ran her thumb along her bottom lip, her eyes glued to a spot on the wall. She sat at the nurses’ station, her shift long over. Gwen had told her to go home, but Tess said she wanted to wait and talk to the police officer coming in to interview Ben about his accident and talk to the social worker. She feared Gwen would wonder why, but her boss simply said, “Suit yourself,” and left her alone.
Wisps of hair tickled her cheeks. She twisted her hair tight and re-clipped it. Leaning forward on the desk, she massaged her forehead and fought to keep the memories she’d taken months to suppress from surfacing again. It wasn’t working. It was always the little things that seemed to creep into her mind and stay there until tears flowed and her heart broke all over again. Ben smiling at her while they surfed in the early morning or rubbing his fingers across his beard the way he did when he was nervous.
“Excuse me, ma’am. I’m looking for the John Doe brought in earlier.”
Tess wiped her eyes and her face, hoping she looked more tired than upset. A tall, lean man with a shaved head and wearing a blue police uniform stood on the other side of the desk from her. The name on his shirt said Petrie.
“Yes. Sorry. It’s been a long night. Please, follow me.” Coming around the desk, she led the officer to Ben’s room. Tears almost choked her as she looked at Ben again, staring out the window, so lost and alone. She’d never seen him so vulnerable. He was always in control. Alert. Confident. All the things that made him a great cop.
Ben turned and looked at her. “Hey, you’re back.”
His smile almost knocked her to her knees. How was that possible? No. She refused to let his heart-melting smile or warm, chocolate-colored eyes charm her into his good graces.
“And I see you brought a friend.” His eyes moved to the officer standing behind her in the doorway.
The officer moved around her and pulled a notepad and pen from his pocket.
“I just have a few questions for you, if you’re feeling up to it.”
“Sure.” He shrugged. “Ask away.”
Tess took a step back toward the door, feeling it prudent to give them some privacy.
“You can stay,” Ben said. Her heart ached at the look of desperation in his eyes. “If that’s okay.” He looked toward the police officer for approval.
“That’s fine with me.” The officer shrugged.
Tess entered the room and leaned against the wall near the door. Ben’s shoulders relaxed as his eyes moved from her to the uniformed man now standing at the end of his bed.
Ben shook his head a lot as the officer took notes. Would the presence of a policeman trigger Ben’s memory? If so, would it all come flooding back or would it piece together slowly? At the moment, his amnesia was all that kept her from sprinting for the door and never looking back. What if his memory did return? Then what?
“Well, that’s about all I have. Thank you for your cooperation.” Officer Petrie closed his notebook and clicked his pen.
“Sure.” Ben sounded disappointed. The inquiry hadn’t brought about the results he was hoping for. He looked at Tess, his brown eyes sad. She swallowed hard.
“I’ll walk you out, Officer.”
She turned to Ben. “I’ll be right back.”
He nodded and then loo
ked back toward the window. Torn between being happy he was struggling and wanting to comfort him, Tess turned and followed the officer out into the hall.
Once the door clicked shut she said, “So, what now?”
Officer Petrie shrugged. “There’s really nothing we can do.”
“What?” Her voice bounced off the empty hallway walls.
He shrugged again. “He had no identification on him when we found him, and no one’s reported a missing person. He’s not suspected of any crime, so there’s no reason to fingerprint him. And even if we did, we wouldn’t get the results back for a few weeks. I put a call in to the rental car company, but they’re closed. When they call back we’ll have them look up the driver’s license on record.”
Tess’s heart sped up. Ben could find out his identity soon. Was that a good or bad thing? “How long does that take?”
The officer shook his head. “Not sure. Whenever they decide to return my call.”
“So you’re just going to leave him here?” She tried to keep her voice down, but didn’t succeed.
“When the doctors deem him healthy enough to leave and social services has given the okay, you can release him.”
“Then he’s homeless and not knowing who he is. That’s just great.” She crossed her arms over her chest in an attempt to hide her shaking hands.
“Look, ma’am, I know it sounds bad, but there really isn’t much more we can do.” He shook his head. “It’s not what you think. We call it the CSI effect. People watch TV and think we can fingerprint someone on the spot and have intel in a minute. That’s just not how it works in the real world. Hopefully, we can find something out when the rental car place calls back.” He lifted his hands in surrender. “I really am sorry.” With a small nod, he moved around her and left.
Chapter 2
Tess paced outside Ben’s room. What was she supposed to do now? She couldn’t just walk away and leave him homeless. She was set to marry the man just six months ago, for crying out loud. Of course, he left her without batting an eye.
Remember Me (Men of Honor Series Book 1) Page 1
