by Tiana Laveen
“I asked, what is it?” he repeated, snatching her away from her saucy thoughts.
“Okay.” She grabbed some cloth napkins then leaned against the granite counter. “I know you had girls before we met because you were a little New Jersey, fast-tailed ho like that.” They both burst out laughing, “But after you were released from prison, how many women did you sleep with, Tony? I won’t be mad. I am just curious.”
“Why in the hell do women ask shit like this?” He chuckled as he leaned against one of the chairs in the kitchen and crossed his ankles.
“I just wanna know!”
“Does it really matter, baby? I didn’t ask you how many guys you had sex with since we’ve been apart.” He waved his hand about.
“So? I still want to know.” She sucked her teeth… waiting.
“All right. I told you I would be open about questions you had even though I think this is pointless. Let’s see… I dunno.” The man shrugged and looked towards the ceiling. “I wasn’t counting. It was a lot though. When you go that long without sex sometimes ya try to make up for lost time and that’s exactly what I did.”
“Okay, so were any of them Black?” She cocked her head to the side and batted her eyelashes.
“You’re somethin’ else. Yeah, some of ’em were Black.”
“How many?”
“Cassidy! What tha fuck?” The vein in his forehead protruded as he laughed at her. “This is silly. You’re takin’ this too far.”
“Come on, just guess.”
He shrugged again and looked about as if searching his mind. “Shit, I don’t know, probably about half of ’em. Maybe a little over half.”
“So I basically turned you out?” she teased, sticking out her tongue. “Because you told me that when we first started dating, you’d never had sex with a Black girl before… kissed, but no sex.”
“That was true. I was never opposed to it though. There were Black chicks at my school that I liked back then… just never dated them. Opportunity never presented itself like that. I’m sure if we hadn’t moved and I stayed in my hometown, it would’ve eventually happened. I was attracted to girls, period… all the ones that caught my eye just had a certain look I liked… long legs, cute ass, nice eyes, things like that…”
She grabbed two wine glasses from one of the cabinets while Monica crooned ‘U Should’ve Known Better.’
The lyrics in the song struck her hard, especially when it came to the ‘…doing 5 to 10’ part. She swallowed down the pain as the songstress told her story, and just kept smiling. Tony took the glasses from her hand, then leaned down and kissed her neck. He walked into the dining room, poured the wine into the glasses. And in that moment, her heart felt such agony and intense love, intertwined. He went back and forth gathering their bowls, utensils, the crackers for the crab legs and a big stainless steel bowl in which to cast their shells.
He will never know how much I love him… I don’t even have the words…
She joined him in the dining room, smiling as he fiddled with her floral arrangement in the middle of the table. Tony then pulled out her chair, kissed her cheek, and when she was settled, went to the other end of the table, taking his own seat.
“You know what?” she said, clasping her wine glass with both hands as she leaned forward, staring at him.
“What?” He bit into his sausage and chewed noisily.
“I’ve been thinking, especially on the plane ride over here and I realize something. I’ve been so resentful, mad at you all of these years, and that’s absurd when you look at the scope of the situation.”
“That being?” he said around a mouthful of food.
“Who’s to say we wouldn’t have broken up for some reason while I was in college? Undergrad or graduate school, doesn’t matter… Young couples have a high ass mortality rate as far their relationships. For all I know, God turned a bad situation into something good and when we got back together this time around, we’re now able to handle any challenges that come our way, ones that we would’ve been too immature to address previously. It was like an epiphany, you know?” She tapped her wineglass with her fingertip. “It hit me on the ride here and I’m like, shit, if I really believe that God always has our back and can turn mud into magic, then I am going to trust the process.”
Tony nodded, broke a crab leg with his bare hands, and sucked the meat out. “Yup. I’ve thought about that several times, too, Cass.” He smacked his lips. She set her glass down and muffled a fit of laughter by covering her mouth with the palm of her hand. The man at times ate obnoxiously loud. “I think we’re exactly where we are supposed to be, when we’re supposed to be doing it. I trust the process, too. Now, back to earlier… What made you ask me about my sex life after getting out the joint?” He grinned as he tossed a few shells into the bowl, making a thumping sound.
“I honestly was just inquiring. That’s all. No ulterior motive, I promise. You can ask me the same. I don’t mind.” She picked up her cracker and opened one of the snow crab legs, then fished the sweet meat out, dipping it into melted, seasoned butter.
“All right, I want to reiterate, Cass, that your ex and anyone else you’ve given my pussy to owes me big—”
“Wait a minute, your pussy?!” She cackled, slapping the table.
“That’s right, my pussy. I understand it was loaned out.” He bopped his head nonchalantly, a budding smirk on his face. “I wouldn’t want you out here lonely, but it’s mine… it’s always been mine. I just allowed you to lend it.” His sexy eyes hooded.
“Boy, I am tuning you out! You are crazy!”
“I’ll be crazy, but it’s true. But as I was saying, your ex-husband and ex-boyfriends owe me money because all that goodness you gave them, that sweet, beautiful snatch of yours and your oral prowess was all because of me!” He sat straighter and pointed at himself.
“Because of you?” She twisted her lips and rolled her eyes.
“Yeah. I taught you everything you know! Think about it. You didn’t know anything until I came along. I was perverted and obsessed with sex from an early age, lost my virginity at twelve, so by the time I got to you, well, it was on like Donkey Kong. It was I, Tony ‘Montana’ Romano The Great, who single-handedly created the freak known as Cassidy Andrea Macklin.”
“Tony, ain’t nobody got time for this foolishness tonight! You are a regular ol’ comedian I see!” She took another sip of her wine.
“You know it’s true.” The man held his head high as he cracked open another crab leg. “Showed you how to move your body, how to touch, how to kiss… all of your exes owe me money. Give me their addresses so I can send them invoices. Hell, I even taught you anal.”
She tossed one of her crab legs at him, barely missing. He burst out laughing.
“Stop wasting good food.”
“Anal!” She rolled her eyes. “You would bring that up.”
“It’s all part of the itemized invoices that will be going out. I showed you how to do it!”
“Boy, you must have a battered memory. You accidentally slipped it in my ass the first time and I screamed bloody murder! You come talkin’ about, ‘Oh, my bad… you aiight?’” She imitated a guy’s voice and they both busted out laughing all the harder. “And I know that wasn’t no damn accident, Tony! You were only like seventeen at the time, but you knew what you were doing!”
Her eyes narrowed on him as she relived the damn trauma all over again. Tony slumped in his chair, that vein protruding out of his forehead for he laughed so hard. That shit was contagious so she let go, too, unable to contain herself. “See? I knew it! It was on purpose! Liar. You tried to get a few more sneak pumps in before I made you get tha hell off me! I couldn’t sit down right for a whole week! And you having a donkey dick didn’t help!”
The man was losing it now and it seemed he’d never recover. After a few moments though, he gathered himself and calmed down, but he still had tears in his eyes.
“You’re exaggerating. It wasn’t
that bad!”
“How are you going to tell me, Tony? You were the pitcher, not the receiver!”
“Okay, okay, what about when we did it for real… intentionally, discussed it first? It was like, what? Only a couple of times, right?”
“Three times… We tried three times and all three times hurt like hell. Nope.” She shook her head. “Never again and my ex-husband wasn’t allowed to, either. You were enough.”
She cut up a piece of her sausage and unceremoniously stuffed it into her mouth. She was going to say a joke about the sausage in lieu of the conversation, but decided against it. It was then that she noticed a sick, twisted, greasy smirk on Tony’s face. She slammed her fork and knife on the table.
“Ohhh! Here we go!” She rolled her eyes. “You think you’re the big man on campus because I haven’t allowed anyone else to go in the back door on me, except you. Ego officially stroked. I’ve made a mistake I see with even telling you this. I know you, Tony. You’re never going to let this bit of information go.”
Tony nodded and clasped his hands together like some Godfather. All that was missing was traditional Italian music and a Brando-style raspy voice.
“You see, you did save something just for yours truly…”
“I saved a bundle on my insurance by switching to Geico.”
“Cute.” She could see he was struggling to not start laughing again. “I will get your ass again, my darling. It may not be tonight, it may not be tomorrow, but some day,” he raised his finger in the air, “when the right amount of wine floweth, a joint or two is lit-eth, and the lube is plenty-eth, I will enter thine tight, unchartered, dark back door and you will orgasmeth like you’ve never orgasmethed before!”
She bounced about in her seat, laughing at the crazy lunatic.
“I am not even going to respond to this foolishness!” They had raucous fun a good long time after that then resumed eating. “You want some more, baby?” She pointed to his half empty plate that he’d been doing a number on.
“No, I’m good, honey. Thank you.” They were quiet for a short while.
“Cassidy, the recipe tonight—what made you choose it? This is really good, too… everything has been good.” He picked up his corn on the cob and began to munch on it.
“I was in the mood for some seafood; I saw this and it was simple. I didn’t want to spend all night cooking. We had a long day. You know,” she said, traveling the byways of her memory. “I had made this with Grandmama many times. Let me go get the cookbook so you can see it for yourself. She had some cute notes written in there that you should take a look at.”
She left and soon returned with the cookbook in hand, placing it beside his plate. She sat back on her seat as he opened it where she’d placed a bookmark for the crab boil recipe, and began to read aloud.
“Okay, let’s see. Grandmama writes…
Ingredients:
6-8 red potatoes
6-8 andouille sausages sliced
4 onions, quartered
2 ears fresh corn, cut into halves
1 cup of Old Bay
4-5 boiled eggs (optional)
4 whole Dungeness crabs
2-5 lbs of snow crab legs
Get the water boiling. Once it is bubbling, put in everything but the crab legs and eggs. Cook it all for 30 minutes. Add the eggs; cook for an additional 5 minutes. Add the crab legs and steam them for 10 minutes. Turn off the stove and let set for 1-2 minutes then serve…
‘I made a crab leg steam boil tonight. Cassidy can’t eat any as she’s just ten months. It’s just me and her here, and my husband’s ghost. Usually I have company over for such a big meal, but me and my sweet little grandbaby are enough. We keep each other plenty company. It’s unseasonably cold this January day, so staying in feels just fine. Cassidy kept looking at me with those big, pretty hazel eyes of hers as I ate my food in front of the television from a tray across my lap. I had some sweet tea and bread, too. She got to moaning and groaning. I got up and grabbed some baby food to give her, but when I put it to her lips, she started to fuss and wiggle about in her rocker like she didn’t want it.
I got up again and grabbed some applesauce – same thing happened. This went on and on until the baby was in tears. I screamed out, ‘Cassidy! Baby, what is it? What do you want? Your diaper is dry, you’re clean, you don’t have any gas, your nose isn’t running, it’s not too cold in here. You are bundled up, you’re not too hot – I checked your head and I’ve played with you and read you a story, too. And then, it clicked.
I picked up one of the crab legs and waved it at her. She got to kicking those fat, pretty legs of hers and stretching out her arm. I grabbed that crab leg, tore it in two, and took the meat out. I dipped it in just a little bit of butter and gave her a teeny, tiny taste… just enough for her to get the flavor. Oh my Lord! That baby was smacking her lips and rocking about in that rocker on the couch, wanting more. Before I knew it, that little baby had gummed about 4 crab legs and was happy as could be! I have never in my life seen a baby that young wanting any crab legs and she didn’t have any teeth, but she wanted to suck on it and taste it, move it around her mouth. That was one of the funniest things I’d ever seen.
Sometimes, you ain’t got to give somebody the whole thing to make them satisfied. Just give ’em a taste and that will please them. Some folks can’t handle the whole thing. Their palettes are like a baby’s. It doesn’t mean they’re a baby themselves. It just means, some folks don’t understand things the way everyone else does. If you love somebody, you’ll try to make them happy, give them a little taste. That doesn’t mean giving them everything they ask for, or giving them the whole thing so that they choke – but give them just enough so they know that you care…’
Tony’s smile faded. He held that cookbook for a long while with both hands, as if it were the Bible or some long hidden, sought-after text that had all the answers to life within the pages.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“Yeah… yeah…” He closed the book and took a deep breath.
“Cass, I need to tell you something.” The man ran his hand through his dark hair as if he had the entire world, the universe and beyond on his broad shoulders.
“What?” Her heart began to pound as her imagination ran wild. Was he dying of a disease? Did he have to go back to prison on some formality? Stranger things had happened.
“Remember when I was working for Sly for like five or six months?”
“Yeah, how could I forget? The infamous Belle Glade drug dealer that you worked for at first to get Dante out of a jam. I always thought you were going to get busted dealing. Funny, that’s not how you ended up in prison at all. Anyway, what about Sly?”
“Well, he died.”
“Oh… I’m sorry about that but at the same time, he was in a lot of mess and from my understanding, he’d shot and killed his share of people for any reason, from everything to feeling disrespected to them owing him a measly $50.00. I am not trying to sound harsh, but Sly had a pretty bad reputation according to Maize.”
Tony’s body seemed to stiffen, his muscles tensing.
Okay… timing is everything. This probably isn’t the best time to go in on Sly. Obviously, Tony is upset about this… She elected to soften her approach and continue.
“Uh, sorry, Tony… I probably could’ve worded that differently.” She clasped her hands together. “I know that despite his line of work, you two seemed to have a friendship of sorts. I know you respected him to some degree.”
“Yeah… well, I did. It’s kinda hard to explain. I know he wasn’t exactly Gandhi, but, ulterior motives or not, the man helped me out of some jams once he got to know me. He died when I was in prison apparently, half finished with my sentence. I didn’t even know about it and usually, information like that spreads. Here’s the thing—he did a lot of favors for me and people, period, and, uh, I need to tie up some loose ends due to those favors.”
“Loose ends? Favors? I don’t understand.
” Her heart begun to beat faster.
“I know you don’t, but I’m just telling you that I have a situation I am taking care of. It’s not Sly’s fault per se, but it’s because of some past relations I had with him. I…” He paused briefly. “I wasn’t going to tell you about this at all, but it’s been eating away at my conscience. Then, when I read what Grandmama said in the cookbook, it seemed like… shit, I don’t know…” He ran his hand over his face and shook his head as if exhausted and weary. “I need you to just trust me, okay?”
“Trust you to do what, Tony? I’m not going down this road again with you. Do you understand me? I’m not doing it! What is this about?”
“I can’t get into it. The less you know, the better, but I can assure you, no, I am not getting involved with drug dealing again. Ever. No, I am not the least bit interested in that lifestyle so don’t even think of something like that. And no, I am not putting myself in a position I can’t get out of.”
She huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. “This doesn’t sound right, Tony. Are you in some sort of trouble? Tell me.”
“Cassidy, please. I’m handling it, okay? I don’t need your advice or assistance or you worrying about it. This situation has arisen from my world, all right?” He pointed at himself. “Not yours! I understand what is going on. I am analyzing all the moving parts. Maybe this was a mistake to say anything at all.” He leaned back in his chair.
“Well, maybe you’re telling me in case something happens to you and I’ll be left picking out your coffin. Do you want metal or hardwood?”
“Cassidy…”
“No! Cassidy nothin’! This is too much! I can’t do this!” She jumped up from her seat and within seconds, the man was holding her, squeezing her tight.
“Baby! Listen! If you think for one damn second that I am leaving you again, you’re crazy! Cass, that’s the whole reason why I am handling this in the first place. Please! Just trust me, baby. You gotta have faith. Let me handle my business… do what I need to do.”
