Melt With You (Fire and Icing)

by Evans, Jessie

  “Jamison, wait,” Naomi called out, lifting a hand. “Who has Jake’s truck? I just saw…”

  Jamison turned to face her and Naomi lost her words. She couldn’t remember what she’d been planning to say. She could only stare at the blood dripping from Jamison’s split lip for a long moment before lifting her eyes to meet his guilty gaze.

  As soon as their eyes met, the truth hit, making her throat tighten even as her chest contracted, threatening to collapse into itself and shatter her heart into a million pieces.

  “You told him,” Naomi said softly.

  It was a statement, not a question. Even before Jamison nodded—his eyes dropping to the ground as he raked a hand through his hair—she knew she was right.

  “Why did you tell him?” Naomi asked, panic making her voice rise as she crossed the gravel toward him, her body now shaking for reasons that had nothing to do with the cold. “What were you thinking?”

  “I thought he deserved the truth,” Jamison said, lifting his eyes. “But I didn’t think… I had no idea he’d take it like that.”

  “Like what?” Naomi asked, fear for Jake and terror that she’d lost him all over again combining to make her heart slam against her ribs. “What happened? Where did he go?”

  “I don’t know. We were talking and then…” Jamison sighed and brought his hand to his forehead, fingers digging into his temples. “It wasn’t going the way I thought it would. Jake looked so hurt—like I’d killed his fucking puppy or something. Just…destroyed.”

  “And how did you think he’d feel?” Naomi sucked in a desperate breath, frustration making her want to grab Jamison by the arms and shake him. “Grateful? Happy?”

  “I don’t know what I thought!” Jamison shouted before pressing his lips together. “It just seemed wrong not to tell him,” he continued in a more controlled tone, “to let him fall in love with you again while you lied to him about everything.”

  “I wasn’t lying about anything,” Naomi said, voice sharp. “I love Jake. Completely. With my entire heart. And because I love him, I realized I couldn’t hurt him just to ease my own conscience.”

  Naomi paused, fighting to keep her voice steady as tears filled her eyes. “Keeping that stupid night from him wasn’t a lie. It was a mercy. That night meant nothing then, and less than nothing now. There was no reason for him to know. All knowing is going to do is break his heart and take away his happiness. And mine.”

  Jamison swallowed with obvious effort. “Yeah. I get that now,” he mumbled. “I felt like shit after I told him. I said he could hit me if he wanted. I didn’t think he’d actually do it, but then he fucking did.” Jamison dabbed at his lip with his thumb, wincing as he touched the split skin before casting a worried glance toward the road. “He was in the truck pulling out before I could get up off the ground.”

  Naomi sniffed and willed herself not to cry. She had to pull it together. Tears weren’t going to accomplish anything. She had to find Jake and make him see that this didn’t change anything, not really, not in any way that counted.

  “Give me your keys.” She held out her hand, palm up.

  Jamison frowned. “I don’t think you should—”

  “Give me your keys,” she repeated in a firmer tone. “I have to go find him.”

  “Naomi, he hates you right now,” Jamison said, shattering her heart into smaller, more jagged pieces. “He’s not going to want to see you. Let me go and—”

  “Why? So he can hit you again?” Naomi shook her head. “No way. You don’t deserve it, and Jake will regret every punch he throws. It’s better if I go.”

  Jamison frowned, hesitating for a moment before he asked, “You really don’t think I deserve it?”

  Naomi sighed. “No, Jamison. We were dumb kids. And it was so long ago. Can’t you see it doesn’t matter?”

  “Then why didn’t you tell him yourself?” Jamison asked. “If it’s no big deal?”

  “Because I knew it would be a big deal to Jake,” she said. “I knew it would make him feel like a fool for letting his guard down, and I might never get through whatever new wall he threw up.” She took a deep breath, refusing to give into the panic her words inspired. She would get through to Jake. She had to because she couldn’t imagine living another fifteen years—or even another day—without him.

  “But I’ll find some way to make him understand and forgive us. Both of us,” she continued. “I will make this okay, but I need your keys.”

  After a beat, Jamison reached into his pocket and pulled out his key ring. “I’m the red Mustang. It’s parked under the trees on the other side of the house.”

  Naomi grabbed the keys and started toward the garden only to spin back a moment later when Jamison called out—

  “Hey, Naomi, I’m sorry. Really sorry.”

  —reminding her why she’d always liked him when they were younger. Jamison did dumb things without thinking them through, but he had a good heart and had always been man enough to admit when he was wrong.

  Naomi nodded, wishing she could tell him it was okay.

  But it wasn’t okay, and it wasn’t going to be okay until she was back in Jake’s arms, beloved and forgiven.

  ***

  Jake drove deeper into the dark countryside, not sure where he was going, just knowing that he needed to get away from Summerville, away from his house and Naomi’s dresses spread out across his bed from where she’d tried on half a dozen things before they left for the ball tonight, and most importantly, away from Naomi.

  Away from the lies she’d told, away from every smile and bone-melting kiss that had made all his walls crumble, sending his defenses tumbling down so that when the arrow came it pierced his heart dead-center, burrowing so deep he didn’t know if it could ever be pulled out.

  She’d been with his brother. She’d slept with Jamison the night before she broke up with Jake via a Dear John letter. And then both of them had kept it from him for fifteen years.

  At first he’d been more angry at Jamison—Naomi had been gone for years, it was Jamison who had lied to his face day after day—but now all he could think about was Naomi.

  What on Earth had made her think she could keep this from him? That she could waltz back into his life and his heart and let him love her without telling him the truth? If she’d only told him the night they’d first decided to give their relationship another chance maybe he could have forgiven her—maybe.

  But now…

  Jake slammed his fist into the dashboard hard enough to send a wave of agony shooting through his hand. The truck veered across the centerline before he pulled it back into his lane. There was no one on the road, nothing but silent, black fields for miles in every direction, but he still shouldn’t be driving while he was this upset. The only thing that could make this night any worse would be hurting an innocent person, or God forbid, taking a life the way Jenny’s had been taken. He wasn’t too concerned with his own future right now, but no one else deserved to suffer.

  When he saw the turnoff for the old Pottstown bridge—the one he, Naomi, and their friends used to go to in high school to drink beer and play music and dangle their legs over the edge while the midnight train roared by underneath—he took it as a sign and swung a hard right, rumbling onto the gravel road.

  The bridge had always reminded him of Naomi, of the evening they’d gone out there alone and spent the night snuggled under sleeping bags in the bed of his truck, staring at the stars that were always so much brighter away from the lights of town. He hadn’t been back since she left Summerville. Even when his friends had begged him to come out to the bridge for a graduation party, Jake had begged off. He hadn’t wanted to spend any significant amount of time in places that reminded him of his ex, or how much a part of him she’d been.

  But tonight, the bridge would be perfect, the perfect place to hurl the ring box in his pocket down onto the tracks for the next train to run over. He certainly wouldn’t be needing it.

  He and Naomi were
over. For good this time.

  A part of Jake already wanted to forgive her—to find some way to justify her behavior—but he knew he couldn’t. Fool him once; shame on her. Fool him twice; shame on him. If he gave her the chance to fool him a third time, he’d be a goddamned idiot who deserved whatever misery he got.

  He pulled to the edge of the road a half mile from the bridge, parking in a fallow field that hadn’t been planted in decades. Pottsville had always had a history of flooding and had gradually been abandoned in the 1960s. The only people who came out here anymore were kids wanting to party on the bridge and hunters during duck season. Tonight there were neither.

  As Jake slammed out of the truck and started walking toward the shadow of the bridge, he was completely alone, with nothing but the sound of his footsteps to keep him company. All around him, the world was cold and silent and still, lit by a pale winter moon that made everything seem a little surreal.

  If he let himself, he could start to believe the past hour had been a dream, that his brother had never told him that he’d slept with Naomi, that Jake had never punched Jamison in the face or abandoned Naomi at the ball.

  He wondered how she’d figure out he’d left…

  Maybe she’d go to look for him and see that his truck was gone. Or maybe Jamison would tell her. Maybe his brother would go back inside and tell Naomi their secret was out, and Naomi would decide to let Jamison comfort her the way he had when they were teenagers.

  Jake knew it wasn’t likely, but the thought still made him mad enough to kick the stone railing of the bridge with his dress shoe, sending a wave of agony shooting up through his leg. At this rate he’d be black and blue by morning, but that would be good. At least it would give him something else to focus on besides the pain making his insides feel like they’d been run over and left by the side of the road to rot.

  He walked up onto the main portion of the bridge, not surprised to find empty beer cans and cigarette butts littering the ground near the railing. Almost no one drove on this bridge anymore. It was a place to hang out, to get a good view of the railroad tracks curving away into the distance across the abandoned fields, and to feel the rush as the train surged by beneath you, only inches from your dangling legs.

  Jake kicked the worst of the mess away and sat down, slipping his legs through the spaces in the railing. It was a much tighter fit than it had been before. He’d bulked up since high school, but not so much that he couldn’t let his legs hang above the tracks, not so much that he couldn’t fit his arm through one of the spaces and watch as the ring box in his hand tumbled down, landing right in the middle of the iron rails.

  There, it was done. He was glad.

  And he was glad that he’d thrown the ring away instead of taking it back to the store to reclaim his ten thousand dollars. His finances deserved to take the hit. Maybe that would teach him better than to drop half his life savings—or his defenses—for a woman he couldn’t trust.

  He was still sitting on the bridge, considering waiting to watch the next train run the ring over, when a pair of headlights cut through the darkness, moving swiftly down the gravel road Jake had come down twenty minutes ago. The car was coming fast, but it slowed as the driver passed his truck and remained at a low speed as it crawled toward the bridge.

  Wary, Jake stood, shielding his eyes with one hand as he stared down the driver, wondering if the guy would stop, or cross over the bridge with Jake still standing on one side.

  Turns out the answer was neither. Ten feet from the bridge, the car shut off its headlights. A moment later the engine followed and the driver’s door swung open.

  Even before his eyes adjusted to the sudden loss of light, Jake knew who had emerged from the car. His Naomi-dar was as strong as ever. She was like a phantom limb he’d never stop missing, but that didn’t mean he’d ever get it back.

  As she closed the distance between them—holding up her long black dress in both hands so that she could walk faster—Jake prepared to tell her good-bye in a way that would leave no doubt that he meant business.

  He wasn’t going to be drawn in a third time. Giving her a second chance had been stupid; giving her a third would be like asking for a bomb to be thrown through the shattered windows of his broken heart.

  Jake clenched his hands at his side and sealed off every soft part of him, bracing himself for his last conversation with the woman he still couldn’t help but love.

  Chapter Fifteen

  He was here; Jake was at the bridge where she’d guessed he would be.

  Thank God her hunch had paid off.

  As she slammed out of the car, Naomi’s arms trembled with a bone-wobbling mix of relief and nerves, but she didn’t hesitate. She closed the distance between her and Jake as quickly as she could in her floor-length gown, ignoring the cold wind stinging her bare shoulders and making her eyes water.

  The fact that she was freezing didn’t matter. All that mattered was finding a way to convince Jake that nothing had changed, that she was still the woman who had made him the happiest he’d been in years, and he was still the man who held the key to her heart.

  He was the one she wanted, the only man she would ever want. If she couldn’t convince him to put this behind them, she didn’t know how she was going to find the strength to start over again. A future without Jake would almost be worse than no future at all. He had reminded her what it felt like to be loved, to find joy and safety and passion that left her breathless in his arms, and she couldn’t go back to a world without him.

  She wouldn’t.

  “We have to talk,” she said as she reached the foot of the bridge, grateful that her words sounded steadier than she felt. “I know what you heard, but I—”

  “Go away.” Jake’s voice was so ominous and final-sounding that it made Naomi’s teeth ache with dread.

  This was going to be bad—his tone assured her of that—but if he thought a forbidding voice was enough to scare her off, he had another thing coming.

  “I’m not going away,” Naomi said, gripping the gown clenched in her fists so tight her fingernails dug into her palms through the heavy fabric. “Not until you let me explain.”

  “There’s nothing to explain.” Jake was so still he looked like a statue, the moonlight lending a chilling, inhuman air to his handsome face.

  At the moment, he didn’t look like he was capable of listening to anything with an open mind, but she had to try to get through to him. She couldn’t let him spend the night alone out here working up a wall of fury and despair so thick she might never crack through it.

  “Please, listen to me, Jake,” Naomi said softly, stopping several feet from where he stood, sensing that he wouldn’t allow her to get much closer. “I know how much you must be hurting right now, but I—”

  Jake laughed, a brittle sound that made her shiver. “I’m not hurting. I’m mad as hell. And disgusted with both of you. So if you don’t want a split lip to match my brother’s, I’d suggest you get back in your car and leave.”

  Naomi’s eyes widened at the threat. She was shocked, but not the slightest bit afraid. He was bluffing. She knew that the way she knew Maddie’s cookies were heaven sent, and being outside the circle of Jake’s love had to be some level of hell.

  “That’s crazy,” she said, taking a step closer. “You’d never lay a hand on a woman in anger.”

  “For you, I’ll make an exception,” he said, but his scary voice had lost its edge.

  Naomi shook her head. “Stop it. I know you better, and I’m not leaving. I’m not going anywhere until I convince you that none of this matters.”

  Jake’s fists balled at his sides. “You slept with my brother and lied about it, and you think none of that—”

  “I didn’t sleep with Jamison.” Naomi’s pulse leapt as anger flared in her chest. “Did he tell you that I slept with him? Because we didn’t. We never—”

  “He said you spent the night together before you left town.”

  “Yes,
we spent the night together,” Naomi said, the hope that this might be smoothed over more easily than she’d thought sparking to life within her. “We kissed and maybe a little more. I drank so much vodka that night I honestly can’t remember every detail, but I know we didn’t sleep together. I mean, we shared a sleeping bag, but we—”

  “I’m not interested.” Jake turned to brace his hands on the bridge railing, staring out at the railroad tracks. “It doesn’t matter if you slept with him. You betrayed me, and you lied about it. And now, we’re over.”

  “No,” Naomi said, her voice catching. “No, we’re not over. I didn’t lie. I just—”

  “I don’t care!” Jake shouted before clenching his jaw and ducking his head. He took a breath, his shoulders rising and falling, before adding in a more controlled tone, “Go, Naomi. Leave me alone.”

  “I wasn’t trying to deceive you, Jake. I just didn’t see the point in telling you something that would serve no purpose,” she said, closing in on him, refusing to give up. “What happened with Jamison was a dumb mistake I made when I was a stupid kid who had no idea how rare what you and I had was. But I’m not a kid anymore, and I would never do anything like that again and I—”

  “Go away,” Jake repeated as she stopped beside him, his gaze still glued to the tracks stretching away into the distance.

  “Please, Jake, please just listen to me.” Naomi could sense the rage pouring off of him, but she reached a hand out to touch his shoulder anyway.

  Jake spun, brushing her hand away as if it had burned him. “Fine. If you won’t leave, then I will.”

  He started past her, but Naomi grabbed his arm and held on tight. “But what about not letting the bumps in the road steal the joy?” she asked, her voice creeping higher as Jake tried to pull away. “What about that whole speech you gave me last week? This isn’t even a bump in the road, Jake. Can’t you see that? This is nothing. I know your pride is hurt, but—”

  “You don’t know anything,” he said, grabbing her wrist, his fingers completely encircling the bone.