“That’s what she said when he unzipped,” Brock said, making us all laugh again.
“That’s not what you’re momma said,” Cleaner volleyed back.
“Okay, enough with the shit,” Tank replied, although he too was smiling. “Candace isn’t going to the nursing home. They’d lose half their patients to strokes. Now, let’s talk about tomorrow and our ‘Meet Santa’ campaign.”
For the next ten minutes we discussed what he expected out of everyone and the schedule we were to follow.
“Jessica and some of the other Old Ladies will be there as well,” Tank continued. “They’ll be selling some Christmas ornaments they made and picture frames for the fundraiser.”
“What about that cute little blonde, Chloe?” Cleaner asked. “She going to be around, too?”
I sighed.
“I believe so. I have to talk to her again,” Tank replied. “We could use all the help we can get.”
“I’ll call her up for you,” Cleaner said. Looking at me, he wiggled his eyebrows. “Hell, I’ll even give her a ride.”
I could feel my eye twitching again. The guy just wouldn’t give up. Was he trying to test me?
“We’ll see,” Tank replied. He looked around the table, his face serious. “Listen up. I don’t want any of you meatheads making her uncomfortable tomorrow. She’s donating her time. Not her body. Got it?”
Everybody nodded.
“Okay,” he said, banging the gavel. “Meeting adjourned. Let’s bring some holiday spirit to the old geezers up the road. Dodger, I’ve got your costume in my office.”
“Great,” I replied dryly.
“Oh, quit being such a fucking Scrooge,” Cleaner said, getting up.
“Yeah. He’s right. Lighten up. Get laid or something,” Tank said.
“Maybe he’ll get lucky with one of the old broads at the nursing home,” Brock said, chuckling. “Maybe you can ‘tea-bag’ an ‘old bag’.”
The guys laughed.
“Oh, Santa! Let me see that North Pole of yours,” Cleaner said, mimicking an old lady.
“Come and visit my chimney, I blew the dust out just for you!” Brock added.
“Sounds like some personal fantasies,” I said dryly.
“You guys are sick fucks,” Tank said, chuckling as he left the room.
“Dodger, can I borrow your Santa suit tomorrow night? I’d like to stuff someone’s stocking tomorrow night, if you know what I mean,” Cleaner remarked with a sly smile.
“Tank said to leave Chloe alone,” I replied, glaring at him.
“He said not to harass or make her feel uncomfortable. I’m just going to put the’ Old Cleaner Charm’ on and let nature takes it’s course,” he said.
“Charm?” I scoffed.
“Yeah. It works. You should try it sometime,” he said with a smirk.
Sighing in annoyance, I headed toward Tank’s office wishing that I was on my way up to Hoss’s cabin, instead of to an old folk’s home. Or in bed with a woman, now that I was horny after all the sex talk. An image of Chloe popped into my head, jacking me up even more.
Dammit.
Pushing her out of my head, I walked into the office.
“It’s over on the cabinet,” Tank said, staring at his laptop.
Seeing a large, plastic bag, I grabbed it and was heading back out of the office, when he told me to sit down.
“How are you doing?” he asked, turning away from his computer.
I shrugged. “Fine.”
Tank let out a sigh. “Look, I know you’re probably reflecting back to last year right now, when things were horseshit. Just remember that everything happens for a reason and you’re better off without… what was her name?”
“Bonnie,” I muttered.
“Right. Bonnie.” He studied my face. “You happy, brother? I mean, really happy?”
“Sure,” I replied.
“You seeing anyone special?”
“No. Which is cool. I’m not looking for anything right now.”
He leaned back in his chair. “I’m sure being with someone like Bonnie has made you skittish.”
“You can say that again.”
“What do you think about Chloe?”
My eyes widened. “Why are you asking me about her?”
He shrugged. “Just wondering if there were any sparks.”
“Nope.”
His eyebrow raised. “Really?”
“Well, I mean… the woman is beautiful. Any guy would be crazy not to be attracted to her.”
“So, what’s the problem?”
“Are you trying to set me up?” I asked incredulously.
“No. I’m just trying to open your eyes up to some possibilities.”
“Like I said, I’m not looking for anything and if I was, I wouldn’t be asking her out anyway.”
“Why not?”
“Because. She’s too… she’s too nice.”
“How do you know that?”
“I just do. I’ve been around her for the past couple of days. She’s like Cinderella or Snow White or one of those other princesses.” I imagined her singing in the garden, with little birds chirping along with her.
“So, if she was more like Maleficent you’d have no problem with her?” he asked, with a smile.
“She’s just not my type.”
“What’s your type?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Why are you so bent on finding me a woman?”
“I just want you to be happy and you don’t seem like you are,” he said in a thoughtful voice.
“And, you think I need a chick to be happy?” I asked wryly.
“Honestly, I don’t know what you need. But, if you can think of anything, let me know and I’ll make it happen if I can.”
Feeling defensive again, I was about to ask him why it mattered so much, but then realized that it was just how Tank was wired. He loved his club and wanted the best for them.
“Thanks, man. I appreciate it,” I said, holding out my hand.
He shook it. “No problem. Just do me one favor, okay?”
I nodded.
“Don’t ever think that any woman is out of your league. And if she acts like she is, then that’s her loss and you’re gain. Nobody needs a fucking snobby, bitch. They never make anyone happy anyway. Too busy trying to please themselves.”
“Point taken.”
“And, if you like Chloe, or want to get to know her better, go for it. Just because she’s different, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. Hell, opposites attract. I know more than anyone. Besides you know what they say?” He smiled darkly. “A lady on the streets can be a freak in the sheets.”
I grinned.
He grabbed a toothpick out of the box on his desk and stuck it into his mouth. “Now, go get your suit on and try to be jolly, will yah?”
Chapter 24
Chloe
JESSICA DROPPED ME off at my apartment and I changed out of the elf costume and into a pair of red, flannel lounge pants and a white T-shirt. Hungry, I made myself a grilled cheese sandwich and sat down at the kitchen table. It was made of oak, and very small, but fit perfectly in the small space. One of the other nurses had given to me; it was second-hand, but new to me, and in great condition. Other than that, besides my sofa and bedroom set, the apartment would be mostly bare. I had signed a six-month lease and wasn’t planning on staying there any longer than that. Now that I was living on my own and renting, I’d decided to start saving up for a down-payment on a house. The less items to move, the better.
After eating my sandwich, I washed off the plate and was putting it into the dishwasher, when my telephone rang. Seeing that it was Tank again, I quickly answered.
“Hey, Chloe, how’s it going?”
“Great.”
“Thanks again for helping us out this afternoon. We really appreciate it.”
“No problem. Glad I could help.”
“Look, I’m not going to beat around the bush – are you free tomorrow after
noon? We’re doing the ‘Meet Santa’ thing and I could use some extra help keeping everything organized.”
“No problem. I still have the elf costume. Should I wear it?”
“Yeah. Definitely.”
“Jessica mentioned that you probably needed help, so I was actually planning on being there anyway.”
“Great. I’ll make sure to get you a ride.”
“Don’t be silly. I can drive myself,” I replied. Not that I didn’t appreciate being chauffeured, I just liked my independence.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. I appreciate you offering. I just think it will be easier for everyone if I just drive there myself. What time should I show up?”
“One-ish?”
“Sounds perfect.”
“Also, I’m having a little party afterward, to show my appreciation for everyone helping out with this. Nothing too crazy. I hope you’ll join us?”
“I still have a lot of unpacking to do, but I’ll try to stop by for a little while.”
“I hope you do. Anyway, I have to get going. We’re going to be leaving shortly to visit the nursing home up the road.”
“Oh, how nice.”
“Yeah. Graham is dressing as Santa. I don’t think he’s too happy about it,” he said, a smile in his voice. “But, I think it will be good for him. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but he’s not oozing with Christmas spirit.”
“Yeah, I did catch that. Good luck,” I replied, chuckling.
“Thanks. Before I forget, let me give you the address for the banquet room we’ve reserved for the ‘Meet Santa’.”
I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote it down. “I heard you’re going to have him stop by the hospital tomorrow beforehand. The children are going to love it.”
“Yeah. I’m going to have him hand out candy canes and small gifts.”
“What kind of gifts?”
“Just, stuffed reindeers.”
“Oh, how sweet.”
“That’s how we roll, darlin’. Gold Vipers have a sweet side that not everybody knows about. Tomorrow, we’re going to prove it,” he said with a smile in his voice.
I laughed. “Sounds like it.”
“I gotta go. Thanks again and hope you have a great night.”
“You, too.”
After hanging up the phone, I thought about Graham visiting the nursing home and hoped that he’d get something out of it. As much of a Grinch everyone said he was, I had a feeling he wasn’t quite as bad as they thought. At least, I hoped that was the case.
Chapter 25
Graham
I PUT THE SANTA suit on, along with the wig, beard, and cap. Although the costume was itchy and loose in the middle, it was of decent quality, not like some of the ones out there.
“Looking pretty swanky there, Santa,” Tank said, when I walked out of the bathroom. “Where’s the glasses?”
“They’re in my pocket. I’ll put them on when I get to the nursing home,” I replied, patting the suit.
Studying me, he tapped his chin. “You need more girth. Nobody likes a skinny Santa. I’ll be right back.”
“Okay.”
He walked away and returned a few seconds later with a pillow. “Here. Wear this underneath.”
Looking at the pillow, I grimaced. “You kidding me? There’s probably jizz on that thing.”
“Nah. It’s new,” he said, chuckling. “Otherwise, I wouldn’t be touching it.”
I took the pillow, unbuttoned the jacket, and arranged it around my stomach.
“That’s better,” Tank said, after I had everything back together. “Now, let’s hear some of your ‘ho, ho, ho’s’.
Sighing, I did what he asked.
“How about with a little more enthusiasm,” he said, his lip twitching.
“Ho, ho, ho,” I said loudly.
Tank grinned. “Excellent. Let’s go. I have the candy and reindeer loaded in my truck. The others are waiting for us in the parking lot.”
“You’re coming with?”
“Of course. Someone has to make sure you guys behave yourselves around all those gorgeous ‘Oldies-but-goodies’,” he replied, slipping his jacket on. “Hell, Cleaner will probably add some tallies to his checklist of putang if we’re not careful.”
I grinned.
WE ALL DROVE separately to the nursing home. When we arrived, Tank handed everyone else Santa hats, and then took out a red, velvet bag. I opened it and saw that it was filled with small wrapped presents and mini candy canes.
“There should be enough reindeer inside for everyone,” he said as I slung the bag over my shoulder.
“You sure they’re going to want stuffed animals?” Cleaner asked, puffing on a cigarette.
“They’re soft and child-proof. I figured that if they’re safe enough for a toddler, they’re safe enough for the geezers,” Tank replied. “There’s not much else we’re allowed to pass out, anyway.”
“Makes sense,” he said, putting his cigarette out on the bottom of his boot.
“Hey, Santa, get your eyeglasses on,” Tank said, looking at me.
“Oh, yeah.” I pulled the spectacles out and slid them over my nose.
“There you go. You look good,” Tank said, nodding in approval.
“He looks like he’d fit in really good here,” Brock said with a smirk. “You’d better watch out, Dodger, or the staff might mistake you for one of their patrons. Especially with all of the diversity in this city. Not everyone celebrates Christmas and knows who St. Nick is.”
“Three-hots-and-a-cot. Anything is better than last year, right Dodge?” Cleaner said.
I gave him a dirty look.
“That’s cold, even for you Cleaner. Quit fucking with him or you’ll be the one in the Santa suit,” Tank said as we walked toward the entrance.
“You’re right. Sorry,” Cleaner said.
I didn’t reply.
We walked into the building and the attendant at the desk buzzed us inside.
“Oh, we’ve been expecting you,” the woman said, smiling brightly. “Just sign in on the clipboard and I’ll let the activities coordinator know you’re here.”
“Thank you,” Tank replied, picking up the pen. He signed us in and then a couple of minutes later, we were led toward the nursing home’s social gathering area by a woman named Mary.
“They’ve been waiting all day for you to arrive,” she said, smiling. “This is the first time anyone has ever volunteered to do something like this, by the way. Thank you so much for making their holiday so special.”
“We’re happy to do it,” Tank said, smiling back.
“Many of these people don’t even get to see their family for Christmas. Some don’t have a family.” She sighed. “It’s so sad how lonely some of them are. Your visit will be the highlight of their week. Heck, for the year for some of them.”
Her words touched my heart and for the first time, I was glad to be there.
“Get ready, Dodger,” Tank said in a low voice. “Remember, you’re Kris Kringle. You’re a jolly, old elf who’s happy to be here.”
“I’m sure they know this is just a costume,” I replied, smiling and shaking my head.
Tank grunted. “Jesus Christ, can you just not be so damn serious all the fucking time.” He gave Mary a sheepish grin when he saw her look back at him. “Sorry. Language. My bad.”
“You must be on Santa’s naughty list,” she replied with a smirk.
Tank winked at her. “Mary, I’m as naughty as they come.”
She laughed.
When we stepped into the gathering area, someone was playing Christmas music on the piano and almost everyone else was gathered in a circle. Many of the seniors were in wheelchairs and a few had oxygen masks attached to their noses. Fortunately, they were all wearing stickers with their names written in black marker, making it easier for us.
“There he is!” cried Ethel, an elderly woman with red hair and thick glasses. “Santa Claus!”
�
�Ho, ho, ho!” I hollered in a deep baritone voice, getting into character. “Looks like Santa got here just in time for the party!”
Most of them laughed.
“What he say?” barked out an old man named Ed, cocking his ear.
“He said he wants to party with us!” Ethel hollered.
Ed smiled and nodded. “Good.”
“Santa! Would you like some cookies and milk?” a woman named Sara asked, shuffling toward me with her walker. “I bet you’re hungry from that long trip from the North Pole. We have several kinds for you on the buffet.”
“That sounds wonderful, Sara. Santa is always hungry for cookies,” I said in a robust voice as I set the velvet bag down and opened it up. “But first, I have some gifts I want to pass out to all of you first.”
“What he say?” Ed hollered out.
“He has presents for us!” Ethel cried.
Ed grinned. “Oh, I like presents.”
“Are those you’re elves?” asked another man, Bill. “Or your bodyguards?”
“We’re both,” Tank said, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed. He smiled warmly at everyone. “We wanted to make sure that nobody stole any of Santa’s presents before he was able to pass them out to you.”
“Let me get some help from one my elves,” I said. “Glitzy Sugar Pecker, come on over here and help Santa.”
The guys all looked at me with confused expressions.
Enjoying this, I motioned toward Cleaner.
He walked over. “Glitzy Sugar Pecker?” he whispered, as I handed him some presents.
“Yeah. It sounds more elfish. Don’t you think?” I whispered, chuckling.
Cleaner nodded. “I actually kind of like it.”
“You would.”
“I bet Chloe would, too. The sugary pecker part of me, especially.”
I rolled my eyes.
We started passing out the presents to everyone and it was heartwarming to see the excitement on their faces.
“Can we open them?” Ed asked.
“Yes, of course,” I replied.
“What?” he asked.
“Yes, you can!” hollered Ethel. “Open your gift!”
“Thank you!” he said, a happy gleam in his eyes as he began ripping the paper off.
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