When she looked up, she saw an odd look in his eyes. The look reminded her of who he had been years ago. He had that same smirk and that same charming gleam in his eyes. Damn, it just wasn’t fair.
“It is what it is. Maybe if I can get my life settled, I will be able to write again. I remember I used to do most of it while in class. I actually find it easier to write when I have other things going on.” She smiled back at him, and she swore she felt a spark, or maybe it was just her old crush tricking her mind.
“Well, this is getting awkward, so I think I am going to go and get us some more drinks. What are you drinking, Lita?” Brandon stood and took the two empty beer bottles from the table.
“Oh, umm, well, I was drinking a margarita, but you can just get me a Smirnoff Ice if you want.” Lita shook herself out of the shock.
“So, you are in marketing? That’s cool. What about outside of work. You have someone in your life?” Alex asked, and Lita was sure she was blushing.
“I’ve had boyfriends here and there, but nothing that has stuck. I guess I am just too focused on my career,” she answered with a hint of laughter in her voice. “What about you? I mean, you were always good with the ladies.”
“Newly divorced.”
Lita felt bad for asking, but Alex had a rather content look on his face. So, maybe the divorce hadn’t been a bad one. “Yeah, well, it has been a long time coming. We both agreed it was best for us, and since we didn’t have any children, it actually was pretty simple.”
“Well, that is one way to look on the bright side. I’m glad it wasn’t a really rough divorce.” Now she didn’t feel so strange about him still holding her hand. But she wasn’t going to let herself get too invested. Alex had flirted with her before, and it never went anywhere. It was probably best she continued to keep it as one blissful memory.
“Hey, things could be worse.” Brandon came back with the drinks, and Lita was thankful for it. She took a deep pull from the bottle, using the moment collect herself.
“I guess they could. I mean, everyone here is trying to make it sound like their lives are so great, but I bet it is all a farce. I know my life isn’t great. I still feel like I am fumbling around, trying to figure out how to be an adult. Don’t get me wrong, my life isn’t bad, but I am nowhere close to where I thought I would be by this point in my life.” Lita sat back so she couldn’t touch Alex. She didn’t want him clouding her mind.
“Yeah, I was sure you would be off in California by now. Weren’t you supposed to go to Berkeley?” Alex asked.
“I was, but then my grandfather’s condition got worse. I ended up just going to Enterprise, then we moved up to Birmingham for me to finish my degree. After my grandfather passed, my mom and grandma moved back down here, but I am still up there, working for a decent-size marketing firm. At least for Alabama,” Lita explained.
“Don’t feel bad for not being where you wanted to be. I’m certainly not.” Alex paused for a moment then looked over to Brandon. That was when Alex pushed back from the table. Lita expected him to stand up and walk around toward her. However, when he pushed back, she finally noticed what he had been hiding below the table. Alex was in a wheelchair. “I was hurt pretty badly about five years ago. Everything I wanted was gone in an instant, and I was sent home to heal, not that I will ever really heal.”
Lita couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not just the words but the emotion behind them. He sounded like life had defeated him, and that was not what she expected to hear. “Oh my God, I am so sorry. What… I mean, you don’t have to explain.”
Brandon and Alex exchanged looks. Brandon had been hurt that night too, but his injuries, though they sent him home, had not left him so damaged. “It’s okay. I don’t mind talking about it now. We were out in the field, and we got ambushed. I was running out to pull some of my brothers from the field, and there was a big explosion. I don’t know a lot of what happened after that. Brandon pulled me back from what I hear, but I woke up in the hospital back in the States.”
Lita didn’t know what to say. How was she supposed to respond to that? It was like when someone died. Most of the time, there was nothing to say, and it was awkward to even try. “He is doing better though. Alex works hard, and he gets his therapy done,” Brandon said, trying to break the tension.
“Alex has always been strong. I am sure he’s doing awesome,” Lita added, feeling it was better than treating him like a victim. Lita was pretty sure most people in his life had done so, and she certainly didn’t want to be one of them.
“I don’t feel it right now, but I am trying. That is about all I can say,” Alex answered.
Alex started talking about how he and Brandon had become friends and the parts of his life that had been good. Lita figured he was trying to change the subject, so Lita went along with it. She talked about her time working with Papa Gino and her friend in the office who had helped push her to come to the reunion. Well, that and Regan and Kammy pestering her. He seemed surprised she was still so close to her friends from high school.
“Well, yeah, but I don’t remember most of the people we went to school with. I look around this room and wonder who the hell most of these people are. But the ones I do remember, they made a mark, good or bad, they stuck with me.” Lita looked around the room.
“And I am one of those people?” Alex asked, arching a brow.
“Yes, yes, you are.” Lita blushed, and she hated the feel of the heat growing on her cheeks.
“Hey, I will be in town for a few more days, why don’t we go get coffee or something. We can catch up more without so much of an audience.” Alex was asking her out, and for a moment, her heart skipped a beat. She was pretty sure it was just old memories playing tricks with her, but it was nice to feel that way.
“Sure, I would like that.” Lita wrote down her number so he would have it, and they set up a time and place to meet. She couldn’t believe after ten years she was finally going on a date with her high school crush. To think, she didn’t even want to go to the damn reunion.
Chapter 9
Things had been so rough in his relationship with Clara that getting ready for his date with Lita had Alex nearly shaking. Was it even a date? They were just getting coffee and talking about old times. She might not even consider it a date. Shaking off his nervousness, he finished his shave then spritzed on cologne. He and Brandon were staying in a decent-sized room, but it was still a little difficult to navigate in his chair.
Brandon was lying across one of the beds, flipping through TV channels and looking a little bored. “So how do I look?”
“You look like you are nervous, which is stupid because there is no reason for it. You are going to be fine, and she was obviously into you last night. Just chill and act like you normally would.” Brandon barely looked away from the TV. His friend was tired; that was obvious.
Shrugging, Alex went for the lobby to wait for Lita. She had offered to come and pick him up and drive. Sure, Alex had a car set up for him to be able to drive, but it was sometimes easier to just be a passenger. Not much had changed in their hometown since he had lived there before, but they did have a decent coffee shop from what he had heard.
When he saw Lita walking up to the lobby, his heart stopped. She was stunning. Even more so than the night before. At the reunion, it was like she was dressing for appearances, to please other people. This time, she looked like herself. Like a hot more grown-up version of her, but her all the same. She had on a pair of tight black jeans, biker boots, and a Judas Priest T-shirt. Her hair was down and styled in waves, and her makeup was a bit darker. She almost looked like a curvy rock star, and it made him feel a little overdressed.
“Hey, you look sharp. I wasn’t sure what we were doing, so I went a little casual. I hope that’s okay?” Lita walked up to him. She looked a little awkward and uncomfortable, but her smile was beautiful.
“You look perfect. I wasn’t really sure what to expect either, so I wanted to be able to go anywhere
.”
“Well, let’s get out of here. I’m pretty hungry so I am ready to go.” Lita gave a shake of her hips and nudged for him to follow her. Lita was never a skinny girl. She had curves, and they were still perfect. So, when she shook her hips at him, all he could think about was the one time he had those hips on his lap and how he didn’t do anything about it. Maybe he should have.
Lita’s car was a moderate size. Honestly, it was a bit boring of a car. Silver outside and gray interior. It was a little hybrid which probably ran well and got good gas mileage but not what he pictured when he looked at the woman with him. Back in school, she had a dark red Pontiac. While not a sports car, it did have more personality than this.
“Umm, I am not sure how to do this. I’m sorry,” Lita said, almost looking away.
“It’s okay. I didn’t expect you to.” He reached out and took her hand, turning her to face him. “Hey, please don’t feel awkward asking me questions or bringing this up. I have been in this chair for five years. I am used to it. This is a part of me, but I don’t expect other people to understand what all of this is.”
Alex went over the instructions on how she could help. Though he still hated asking for help, he knew it was part of the situation he was in and had accepted it. She did a good job getting him settled and the chair in her trunk, then she slid into the driver’s seat. A flash of a memory went through his mind. The last time they had seen each other was in her car when she was driving him. Something about being next to her again just made him think about that night. She had never looked so sexy, well, except maybe now.
“So, you said you are up in South Carolina now. Do you like it up there?” Lita asked, trying to break the ice and make conversation.
“It is nice. We actually have seasons up there, and I have a decent house that is made for my situation. Clara let me keep it since she knew I needed it.” Alex answered.
“It sounds like you two had something really special,” Lita said, a sad tone in her voice.
“We did. It was beautiful and magical, but when I got hurt, she just couldn’t take it. Truth is, I couldn't either. I tried, I really did, but she needed things I couldn’t give her. We agreed it was for the best. I love her, probably always will, but I want her to have the opportunity to have a family and be with someone who can give her the happiness and life I just can’t anymore,” Alex explained. It still hurt to talk about it, but they had agreed, and he had time to prepare.
“That’s pretty noble of you. I don’t think I could have done it,” Lita said.
It wasn’t long before they pulled into the parking lot of the coffee shop, and Lita hopped out to get his chair for him. They went in and to the counter so they could order. Alex paid close attention to what she ordered, a sugar-free mocha cappuccino and a low-carb egg scramble wrap. He wasn’t sure if she was trying to eat healthy because it was him or if she had really started eating that way. He ordered an egg, sausage, and cheese croissant and a large black coffee. It was simpler but what he liked.
Once they had their order, they found a table off where it was quiet. Alex watched her as she took her first sip of coffee and a smile spread over her face. “That good, huh?”
“Yes, sometimes, that first sip of a good coffee house cappuccino is better than sex,” she teased, giving him a heated look. It made a shiver travel down his spine, and he was sure his face heated.
“Well, that makes me wonder about your sex life if you think a cup of coffee is better than sex.” Alex laughed. He remembered some of the sex scenes she used to write, and they were all so naïve even when she thought she was being naughty. He couldn’t help but wonder what they would look like now.
“Well, I said sometimes. Not all the time.” She laughed, and her cheeks turned a beautiful color of pink.
“Well, good. I’m glad life hasn’t been that bad for you.” Alex took a sip of his coffee and also felt a moment of satisfaction. It was a nice feeling, but he missed sex a lot more. “So, you haven’t really talked much about your dating life. What’s going on with that?”
“There isn’t much. I dated this guy kinda seriously for a couple of years, but that didn’t work out. Most of it has been littered with short-term flings, but I don’t have the patience for a lot. If a guy doesn’t want to be a part of my life, I don’t want him in it,” Lita explained.
Alex sat back for a moment and looked at her while he drank more of his coffee. “Sounds to me like you are pushing people away.”
“Maybe. I’m not in the market for getting hurt. So, I take care of me.” Alex was kind of shocked at her words. Out of everyone he had known back then, he had always thought Lita would find a good partner and have a family. She always had such a big heart. Hearing her talk about being so isolated sounded pretty sad.
“Well, maybe it is just that you haven’t found the right person. As cheesy as that sounds, you deserve better than being alone all the time and having short flings. You were always such a good woman,” Alex said, leaning forward and taking her hand. “You deserve to be happy.”
“Sounds like that’s your hope for everyone. Make them happy, but what about you? You don’t plan on spending the rest of your life alone, do you?” Lita asked. It was pretty obvious she didn’t want all of the attention on her, but neither did he. Part of him wished they could just pick up where they left off, but that was with him thinking she was too innocent to touch.
“I don’t know. I won’t make much of a husband. My body doesn’t work right, and I can require a lot of work to deal with. It isn’t like I can sweep anyone off their feet.” He motioned to his condition.
“There are lots of things you can do that doesn’t require that, and if someone truly loves you, they would be understanding.”
He was sure she didn’t mean it the way it sounded, but it made him wonder if Clara really had loved him or if she was able to give up so easy because she didn’t love him as much as he thought. It wasn’t something he had ever thought about before, and it made him a bit uncomfortable.
“Hey, I’m sorry if it came off harsh. I know you are just getting through a divorce, but I don’t know. I feel like if I was in love with someone enough to go through getting married and starting a life with them, then I think I would be okay with the hardships that may or may not come with the relationship. Nothing in life is perfect.” Her words were powerful and real, and it made him wonder if the reason she hadn’t found someone was because she wasn’t willing to settle for anything less than true love and happiness.
Alex had thought he had that with Clara, but everything happened so fast, and then he spent half of their marriage overseas. Even Brandon had questioned if part of the reason their relationship felt so magical was because they were constantly in the new love stage. They were never together long enough to move past it, because he was gone all the time. Hearing Lita made him wonder if his friend had always been right.
“It isn’t harsh. Honestly, it isn’t anything Brandon hasn’t said to me either. Clara and I didn’t spend a lot of time together before I got hurt because I was overseas, but after I got home and I was so hurt, I guess things between the two of us got real. We were no longer filled with new relationship magic, and we had to deal with some difficult challenges.” Alex said, feeling like he was reflecting on his past with new eyes.
“Sometimes, the idea of love and having something is a lot stronger than the actual relationship. I know when I was in high school, writing all those stories and songs, I found myself creating a fantasy that was unachievable. It made me see people differently, because in my mind, I created a version of them that was more than who they really were,” Lita explained. “I wouldn’t doubt during that time you were gone Clara did the same thing. It is so much easier to create a fantasy than it is to face the truth.”
“Maybe … maybe.” Alex sighed.
They finished their drinks and meal and went back out to her car. Something about the drive back to the hotel had Alex nervous. He wanted to kiss her ag
ain, just as he had all those years ago, but it wasn’t fair for him to do that to her twice. She deserved better. Once they were at the circle drive in front of the hotel, he turned to her. “It was great to see you again. I hope we will be able to see each other again soon.”
“Well, I am up in Birmingham now, so if you are ever around, make sure to give me a call. Maybe I can take you to Papa Gino’s.” There was something sad in the way she looked at him, and he reached over to cup her face.
“I will, for sure.” Alex rubbed her cheek with his thumb. “You are so beautiful.”
Lita didn’t answer, and the tension between them built even thicker as they sat there looking at each other. Time started to stand still, and Alex found himself licking his lips and leaning in despite his better judgment. He wanted to kiss her, taste her again, and see if she still kissed with innocence after all this time.
He was still a safe enough distance, to not look like a complete fool, when she jerked away and looked past him. “Your friend is there waiting for you.”
Alex blinked out of the trance he was in and turned to see Brandon standing at the door of the hotel lobby. His friend almost looked sheepish like he realized he had ruined the moment. “I should probably go. Lita, I hope to see you really soon. I don’t want to go another ten years.”
It had been the best weekend Alex had in a long time, and he hated it was ending. But it was time to get back into the real world and maybe process some of the feelings he had stirring inside of him.
“I will be looking forward to it.” Lita leaned over to kiss his cheek. It was the best he was going to get, and he would take it.
Chapter 10
The weekend had been amazing, much more so than Lita had thought it would be. It made going back to work very difficult. Ever since her date with Alex, and that almost kiss they had shared, she could not get him out of her head. He still looked as sexy as he had all those years ago. Even his injuries didn’t take away from how strong he looked, and that smile. Yes, she could still melt into that smile.
Veteran Dreams (Forever Young Series) Page 5
