by Autumn Reed
Walking back into the library, I had an unexpected bounce in my step. Everything was going according to plan. I could do this; I had to.
Chapter 3: Liam
Saturday morning, April 25th
I arrived at Uncle’s house, wondering what this blasted “emergency” meeting was about. Jax had a tendency to overuse the term, but he hadn’t called one in a while, so I was concerned it may actually be serious. I didn’t think it was related to an ongoing mission, because he would have included that mission’s code name in the text. Was there finally a lead on the elusive Brian Taylor or that bastard Vincent DuBois?
For Haley’s sake, I hoped it was good news for a change. She had already been through so much, and I couldn’t handle the thought of her in pain. When did I become such a sap? Oh, that’s right, when I fell for the auburn-haired beauty, I answered, mentally chuckling.
Making my way through the quiet house, I found Jax and Chase in the kitchen drinking coffee. “You better have a good reason for dragging us out of bed this early,” I told Jax, collapsing into a chair and pouring a cup for myself.
He rolled his eyes, but there was little mirth in his expression. “It’s ten-thirty, lazybones, and you have the shortest drive. I think you’ll survive.”
“Sure, but I had urgent plans to lounge around all morning, and you ruined them. What’s going on?”
“We need to wait for Knox and Theo,” he replied shortly.
“Not Ethan?” Chase asked, confused.
“No.”
“Hmm,” I answered. “Is he out on an impromptu mission or something?”
“No.”
“Wow, you’re giving us a lot to go on, boss,” I joked, but Jax just scowled at me. Maybe there is a reason to be worried, I thought.
“Sorry we’re late,” Knox said as he and Theo entered the kitchen.
“Speak for yourself,” replied Theo. “I would have happily spent the rest of the morning hanging with Haley. And you didn’t look too eager to leave her yourself, big brother.” His tone was somewhat mischievous, making me curious about the story there.
“Why does she get to live with you?” I complained, not for the first time. “If she moved in with me, she wouldn’t have to commute all the way from Santa Cruz.”
“No,” Knox and Jax said simultaneously, shutting me down.
“Can we please focus?” Jax asked moodily. When he had everyone’s attention, he continued. “There’s no easy way to say this, so I’m just going to get it over with. As of yesterday evening, Ethan submitted the necessary paperwork to request dismissal from the team.”
The room fell silent, and I found myself watching the others as my mind processed the information. Knox’s face was hard, not an ounce of shock on it, so I concluded Jax must have already let him in on the situation. Chase appeared the most astonished, his jaw open and his eyes wide. Theo merely looked bewildered, like he didn’t understand Jax’s words. And, what did I do? I laughed. Yes, I can be an arse.
Every eye in the room turned to me, so I shrugged. “What? Ethan’s a prick. Are any of you seriously that surprised he would do something like this?”
“What are you talking about?” Chase asked. “Of course we’re surprised,” he said, clearly ready to defend Ethan. Not that I blamed him. My words were intended to incite, but I didn’t care. Ethan hadn’t been a team player in months, and it was time for Chase to finally recognize it.
“Did you know he was going to do this?” Jax asked me.
“No, but we all knew that he was a ticking time bomb . . . whether we admitted it or not.” Jax and Knox nodded while Chase looked down at his hands.
“Why?” Theo asked, still appearing confused. “If he had a problem with the team, why wouldn’t he talk to us? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Excellent question,” Jax responded. “He won’t answer any of my calls, and there was no one home when I stopped by his place on the way here, so the only explanation I have is what he cited in the paperwork. His reasons point to me as the culprit—he doesn’t feel respected as an individual, I don’t take his opinions under consideration, he isn’t given enough responsibility . . . you get the picture. Whether those are the real reasons, or all of them, I couldn’t tell you.” He paused to take a drink from his coffee mug. “Liam’s right, though. Ethan has been more and more argumentative over the last year or so, but particularly the last six months.”
“Still, why now?” I asked, certain that the pieces of this puzzle didn’t quite fit together. “As far as I know, nothing has happened recently to set him off. It seems odd that he would choose now to make things official.”
“Exactly what I’d like to know,” Knox replied. “I was up most of the night thinking about it, and it doesn’t add up. If he was going to take action, I would have expected it months ago. Not now, when things have been relatively quiet.”
“He never explained why he ditched the Zenith Youth event, but I’m not sure how that would fit in,” Theo said.
Chase cleared his throat, his gaze still on his hands. “I, um, might have an idea what happened. I’m just not sure if I should—”
“You should,” Jax interrupted, obviously impatient for Chase to spit it out. “I know you and Ethan are close, but whatever you tell us at this point isn’t a betrayal. He’s already accomplished that all on his own.”
Finally looking up, Chase said, “That’s the thing. It’s not really about Ethan . . . more something I told Ethan.”
“Well?” Knox prompted when Chase didn’t elaborate.
“Last Saturday, before Knox’s birthday party, I told Ethan that I . . . shit, this is difficult.” He sighed loudly and was visibly nervous, rubbing his hands on his thighs. “That I kissed Haley.”
“You what?” Jax erupted while Knox asked, “When?”
I mentally repeated their questions. Why didn’t Haley tell me? Not that I had any claim to her, but still . . . I wasn’t expecting that, especially from Chase. For someone who could always be counted on to follow the rules, he chose a critical one to break.
“On Christmas Eve,” Chase explained. “I didn’t plan it, but it just happened, and I didn’t know what to do. Then, I ended up going to UCLA, so Haley and I never talked about it until I got back.”
Chase glanced at Jax, then stared at nothing in particular. “Before we left for Vegas, I told Haley that I was distant after the kiss because we all,” he said, gesturing to the group, “made an agreement not to pursue her. I, um, basically asked her if she wanted to be my girlfriend, and if so, I told her that we needed to tell Jackson before moving forward. She hasn’t given me an answer—I wanted her to take time to consider it—but we’re supposed to talk tomorrow.
“I’m sorry I kept it from you all. I’ve been pretty stressed ever since Christmas.”
“Why do you think telling Ethan about the kiss is related to him quitting the team?” Jax asked.
Chase pulled at the back of his neck. “It’s more instinct than anything definite. I told Ethan about the kiss because I was starting to freak out that Haley hadn’t given me an answer yet. I wanted his opinion about whether he thought she was interested in me like that. It was stupid, but I couldn’t stand keeping everything to myself for another day, and I thought maybe he would be able to pick up on her feelings at the party.
“But, when I told him, I immediately realized it was a mistake. He tensed up and didn’t say anything for a long time; when he finally spoke, he lectured me about breaking the rules. At the party, he acted pissed off when I ‘rescued’ Haley from Knox and Jackson in the pool, then he disappeared with some random girl. And, he’s been standoffish with me ever since.”
Jax’s expression was thoughtful. “So, you think Ethan’s breaking point was finding out about your relationship with Haley because he’s jealous?”
Chase reddened and sputtered out a response. “I’m not saying we have a relationship that he should be jealous of. I don’t know . . . I just got the feeling that he was ang
ry, and it surprised me. If anything, he’s had even more random hookups than usual since Haley’s been around, so it didn’t occur to me that he was that interested in her, especially since he’s never said anything.”
“It actually makes a lot of sense, if you think about it,” Knox said. “I picked up on the fact that he was attracted to her from the beginning, and he’s different with her than any girl I’ve ever seen him with. If he blames Jax for not being able to pursue her, that anger probably exacerbated all of the other blowups in the last seven months. And, I don’t need a psychology degree to figure out that he’s attempted to deal with his frustrations by seeking out other girls.”
“I never should have told him,” Chase said guiltily.
“Don’t even go there,” Jax said. “If anyone is responsible, it’s me. And, unless Ethan tells us his reasons, we may never know. There’s no point in dwelling on it. We should move on to whether we’re going to agree to his dismissal or dispute it officially.”
Theo raised his hand like we were in a classroom, and I laughed while Jax shook his head with an amused expression. “Yes, Theo?”
“I am dying to know whether anyone else has kissed Haley. I mean, I’m sad to say that I haven’t, but if Chase had the balls to do it, I’m guessing he’s not the only one.” Bloody hell.
Jax appeared to consider his request, then nodded. “Since Chase confessed, we might as well see if anyone else will fess up. I haven’t kissed her. Knox?”
“No.”
“Liam?” I heard the mild accusation in his tone and knew he surmised that I likely had.
Irritated, I casually leaned back in my chair and braced myself for their reactions. “What do you think?”
Chase’s face fell, and even though I hadn’t known about his relationship with Haley when I kissed her, I felt sorry for him. He obviously had it bad for her. Still, it wasn’t like he was the only one.
“Damn it, Liam,” Knox growled. “You better not have taken advantage of her.”
“Would you give me a little credit? I don’t take advantage of women, and I would never do anything to hurt Haley. Never,” I repeated emphatically.
“When did this happen?” Jax asked calmly.
“When she stayed with me over spring break, and before any of you get your knickers in a twist, I showed her to the guest room like a gentleman.” I decided there wasn’t any reason to mention the additional quick kisses at Knox’s birthday party.
“You didn’t happen to mention it to Ethan, did you?” Knox asked.
I laughed. “No offense to Chase, but I’d have to be completely mad to do that.” He glared at me in response, but I noticed the small smile he failed to keep hidden.
“Okay,” Jax said, “clearly we need to address the Haley issue at length, but now is really not the time. Can we all agree to set it aside for the next couple of days while we deal with Ethan first?”
After we all nodded our agreement, our focus shifted to what to do about Ethan. My opinion was simple enough—Ethan already decided he was done with the team, so why force it? Perhaps I was being too harsh, but I didn’t have room in my life for someone who didn’t want to be there. To function properly as a team, we needed to trust each other implicitly, and I wasn’t certain that I could trust him after this.
Theo agreed with me, but he was the only one. In typical Knox fashion, he insisted that Ethan had been a valuable team member for years now and deserved another chance. Chase, as Ethan’s closest friend, pleaded with us to hear Ethan out before jumping to conclusions. According to Chase, there must be a reasonable explanation for his actions.
Although I knew Jax was beyond pissed, he was in full-on team leader mode and stoically played the mediator and merely added constructive comments while the rest of us argued about what to do. When it seemed like we would never come to any sort of understanding, Patrick showed up.
“In line with Zenith protocol, we have a meeting scheduled for Monday afternoon, and Ethan is required to attend,” Patrick explained. “I urge you to refrain from voting until after the meeting. If you officially accept Ethan’s resignation from the team, that’s it. He will never be allowed to re-join Team Jaguar.”
Patrick sighed, the strain of this rift showing in his entire demeanor. “You know that every single one of you is like family to me, and I abhor the idea that Ethan would ever be cut out. But, ultimately, you have to do what is best for the team. And, even if you choose to dispute his voluntary dismissal, it’s ultimately his decision.”
Patrick described the dismissal process in more detail, then left us to reach an agreement on our strategy going into Monday’s meeting.
“Here’s the deal,” Jax said. “We don’t have to make a decision about whether we’ll challenge the dismissal until after Monday’s meeting. Since we currently hold differing opinions, I suggest we take the rest of the weekend to think it over and consider what Ethan has to say for himself on Monday. Then, we will reconvene and vote. Any objections?”
“No,” Theo said, “but what about Haley? Can we tell her what happened?”
“That’s not a good idea,” Jax responded. “There’s no reason to upset her until it’s official.”
“I don’t feel comfortable keeping this from her,” Theo insisted.
“It’s only for a couple of days.”
Theo nodded but didn’t say anything else, and I wondered if he would “accidentally” let it slip. Though I didn’t question his loyalty to the team, I knew that between his open nature and the closeness he shared with Haley, he struggled with keeping secrets from her more than any of us. Either way, she would find out eventually.
Just thinking about Haley made me want to see her, and knowing she had plans to see Chase tomorrow made it worse. What would I do if she said yes to becoming his girlfriend? I couldn’t begin to imagine not touching and kissing her again. It wasn’t an option.
Chapter 4: Theo
Saturday afternoon, April 25th
Knox’s side of the truck was quiet, and for once I didn’t try to fill the space with chatter. In all honestly, I was shocked silent by today’s revelations. Ethan wanted to leave the team? Chase and Liam both kissed Haley?
I tried to tamp down my jealousy, thinking of the countless nights I spent dreaming of her. Not to mention that Knox and I lived with her all these months, tempted by her daily, and not once had we kissed her. Maybe I should have, I thought ruefully. Oddly enough, it wasn’t even that I begrudged Liam or Chase their kiss with Haley; it was more that I wanted to experience it for myself.
After pulling into the garage, we shared a knowing look. We all accepted long ago that secrecy was a major part of our lives, but since meeting Haley, it was an increasingly difficult prospect. While she was inquisitive by nature, it was more the fact that I despised keeping things from her, hated that there was anything between us but honesty.
Knox had it easy; his poker face and gruff demeanor meant that Haley could rarely tell when he was upset about something. Not so much with me. It was like she had a special radar for my emotions and I knew today, of all days, I needed to put on a believable performance.
She didn’t respond after Knox called out, “Haley, we’re home,” so I approached her door to see if she was almost ready. Although I had looked forward to our movie date all week, I was now officially in desperate need of an escape from reality. I had a feeling Haley needed one too—something had obviously been weighing on her, and I had a hunch there was more to it than Liam and Chase kissing her. If only she would just talk to me.
I knocked. “Haley. Are you ready?”
When there was no answer, I knocked again and slowly cracked open the door. Even in her deepest sleep, it didn’t usually take much to wake her. My mind flashed to the night she spent in my bed, and I wondered if I needed to injure myself again to get her back there. Shaking my head, I pushed the door fully open to find that her bed was made and she was nowhere to be seen. Huh, that’s odd.
“Haley?”
I said louder as I strode toward the closet. I didn’t want to startle her, but I was beginning to worry that something was wrong.
Silence.
To the untrained eye, nothing appeared out of place, but knowing her closet, I could tell that some of her clothes were missing. I wanted to believe they were in the laundry, but my gut told me otherwise. Noticing that the safe door was ajar, I opened it to find it completely empty. What the frizuck?
I couldn’t grab my phone fast enough to call her. Once, twice, three times it went to voicemail. I sent a text message, shouting “Knox” as I typed.
“Knox,” I yelled again more loudly, scanning Haley’s room for other missing items.
“What’s going on?” he asked, appearing in the doorway.
I glanced at my phone, double checking that the ringer was on, and hoping she would return my call, a text, anything. “Have you heard from Haley since this morning?”
“No. Why?”
“Some of her clothes are gone, her guitar is missing, and the safe is empty.”
“Are you sure?”
“Check for yourself, but yeah, it’s pretty obvious the safe has been wiped out.”
He swore, then marched to the closet, digging through its contents as I frantically called her phone. Voicemail again. Damn it, Haley. Where are you?
A piece of paper caught my eye and I walked over to her nightstand. Despite dreading what I would find, I forced myself to read the note. Time slowed as I processed her handwriting, the paper stained with several tears. Why? Why did she do this?
Her note claimed that it was time to move on, but I knew that couldn’t be it. Did we do something to push her away? I scanned my memories for something, anything, we could have done to cause such a drastic reaction, but my thoughts were muddled. All I could feel was panic at the idea that she felt the need to run away from us.
Knox’s hand clapped on my shoulder, shaking me. His lips were moving, but if he was talking, I couldn’t make out hear a word he said until I finally heard my name.
