by Autumn Reed
I had to stop myself from gaping at Liam. In all the years I had known him, he’d never sounded so passionate about anything or anyone. Was I not giving him enough credit? In my head, I was the only one truly head-over-heels for Haley, but was I kidding myself?
Theo cleared his throat, and I suddenly realized that he hadn’t spoken a word on the subject. What was up with that? Theo was usually the first to pipe in with his opinion.
“I haven’t stopped thinking about what to do since we last discussed it, and there are two things I’ve decided. One, I can’t stand the thought of losing Haley. And, two, I want—no, need—her to be happy. But, I don’t believe she ever will be if she is forced to choose one of us. Her heart is way too big for that.”
Knox, who appeared to be watching his brother carefully, said, “I’m not sure how I feel about this yet, but I can see the benefits. If we force Haley to choose, it could end badly. Best case scenario, four of us concede defeat and attempt to move on, all the while watching the winner with our girl day in and day out. Worst case, we lose sight of our friendships and fight over her, destroying the team in the process.”
He pushed his hand through his hair, which had gotten noticeably longer since Haley left. Was he letting it grow on purpose, or was he so distracted that he hadn’t noticed or cared?
“My biggest concern about this suggestion is how Haley would handle it. I don’t think she’s ready for something like that. She hasn’t even been on a date, much less . . .” Knox trailed off, and we all knew what he was getting at. Would we shatter her innocence by even proposing such a thing?
“We need to ease her into it,” Theo said. “It’s not like we can show up in Portland and say, ‘Hey, honey, we want you to come home and start sleeping with all five of us. Lucky you.’ Maybe we should begin by convincing her to date all of us, and once we’re sure she’s fallen so hard she couldn’t possibly choose, we suggest that maybe she doesn’t have to.”
Why did it seem like he had already thought this through? The answer dawning on me, I gave Theo an incredulous look. “This was your idea!” No wonder Knox had been watching him so closely—he’d figured it out.
Theo looked away guiltily and then shrugged. “So? It’s a valid suggestion and not unprecedented; the Bay Area is a hotbed of nontraditional relationships. We’ll fit right in.”
I snorted while Liam smiled with decidedly too much glee. “I knew this beautifully mad scheme was too progressive to be Jax’s brainchild. Well done, Theodore.” When Theo glared at him, Liam said, “What? If we’re sharing a girlfriend, surely I’m allowed to call you by your given name.”
Knox groaned as he pressed his thumbs against his temples. “This conversation is giving me a headache.”
Jackson, who had continued to pace while the rest of us traded barbs, sat back down and gave us his best “stop bickering” look. “I don’t want to sway you one way or the other, but there’s a reason I decided to bring this to the group despite being controversial.”
He paused and stared at the ceiling, as if gathering his thoughts. “We all know how challenging it is to juggle a relationship and our jobs, no one more than me. Unless we date girls in the know at Zenith—and those options are very limited—we’ll probably end up like Uncle . . . spending our lives alone. I don’t know about you, but that’s not what I want.”
Unless we quit Zenith, I thought angrily. I knew that wasn’t the answer, but I certainly enjoyed a brief daydream of Haley and me together, just the two of us. Sure, a few Zenith employees were married, and had children, but most of the time it simply didn’t work. Keeping monumental secrets was detrimental to any relationship, especially ones so dependent on love and trust.
“Are you saying we could finally tell Haley everything?” Theo asked excitedly.
“Absolutely,” Jackson said. “She needs to know what she’s getting into—not that she hasn’t already figured most of it out.”
And, another point goes to Jackson, I thought moodily. He’d always discouraged us from pursuing serious relationships because of the confidential nature of our work, insisting we were forbidden from speaking about it. Somehow, Haley was always a bit of an exception, and it seemed like now she would be let in fully.
After we went back and forth on the pros and cons of this—I still believed—outrageous idea for a while longer, Jackson said, “I’m not asking for a decision right now, but let’s take an unofficial vote to see where we stand.”
“Yes,” Theo said soberly.
“Maybe,” said Knox.
Liam smiled, responding with, “Why not?” in a breezy tone.
When Jackson looked at me, I felt almost sick. Shaking my head, I said, “I need more time. I just don’t know.”
How could I agree to this? How could I not?
Chapter 24: Chase
Thursday, July 30th
Should I text Ethan? I wondered for the thousandth time, fed up with my own indecisiveness. I still couldn’t believe he quit the team over three months ago, transferring to Miami without so much as a goodbye. I’d tried reaching out to him several times in the weeks after he left, but he never responded, and I’d eventually given up. While I wanted to be angry with him, I hated the way we left things, especially after how long we had been friends.
With about thirty minutes left until my flight boarded, I finally sent him a text.
Me: Hey. Hope you’re doing okay and enjoying Miami.
There, I thought, the ball is in his court now. I had taken my seat and was about to switch off my phone when a new message came through.
Ethan: Plenty of bikini-clad girls, so no complaints.
Typical Ethan.
Me: Glad to hear it.
I felt a small measure of relief that he’d texted me back, and found myself questioning how Ethan would have reacted to the proposal that we all date Haley. Despite his attraction to her, I somehow didn’t see him agreeing to it; at least maybe someone else would have been on my side.
Powering off my phone, I was secretly looking forward to going radio silent for a while, even if only for a one-and-a-half-hour flight to Portland. Between everything that had happened personally and professionally the last few months, it felt like we were constantly jumping from one fire to the next. Thoughts of the latest work crisis ran through my mind, and I wondered how long it would take to uncover the culprit behind a series of suspicious events within Zenith.
Apparently the December break-in of Patrick’s office wasn’t the first act of subterfuge within the organization; we just weren’t aware of it until then. Patrick had been keeping an eye on the situation and recently approached the five of us to act as a secret task force to uncover the responsible parties and their motives. Between Ethan’s betrayal, Haley’s surprise departure, and the corruption within Zenith, I was finding it hard not to become jaded.
I sighed and closed my eyes, more grateful than ever for the empty seat next to me. Earlier in the week, one of Haley’s security cameras shorted out and I jumped at the opportunity to repair it in person. We all knew this particular camera wasn’t strictly necessary, but I insisted on going to Portland, and none of the guys had put up much of a fight. Maybe they think it will convince me to agree to their insane idea, I thought cynically.
After arriving at Helen’s bungalow, I finished my repair quickly, wanting to make it to the coffee shop before Haley’s shift ended. Watching her on the surveillance feed wasn’t the same as seeing her in person. Although I planned to sit outside in the car, hoping to catch a glimpse of her, I couldn’t resist going in once I arrived at Percolate.
Fortunately, the coffee shop was full since it was open mic night. Attempting to remain incognito, I kept my head down and took a seat at a table near the door. I chose to believe my Mariners baseball hat and week of facial hair would be a sufficient disguise, because Jackson would kill me if he discovered the risk I was taking. If anything, I was once again proving that when it came to Haley, my decision-making was undeniably impai
red.
Haley busied herself behind the counter, making drinks while Noah took orders and rang up customers. Every time she smiled at him, I wanted to throttle the twerp, even though I knew it wasn’t her real smile—her face simply didn’t light up like when she smiled at me. Or Knox or Theo or Jackson or Liam. Damn it.
A man I recognized as the shop’s owner announced another performer. “Next, we have a special treat. One of our own employees, Brooke, has agreed to play for us. Please give her a big round of applause.”
When Haley—I didn’t allow myself to even think of her as Brooke—took a seat on stage, I tried not to gape. I’d had to practically beg her to sing or play for me, and now she was performing in front of nearly fifty people. I could tell she was nervous and smiled to myself as she attempted to hide behind her long curtain of straight, black hair.
Haley strummed a few chords, and I sucked in a shallow breath, immediately recognizing the song. My mind easily recalled the night she stayed in my apartment last October and I played that very song for her, willing her to see how much she meant to me. I’d been upset about work stuff at the time, and little-by-little, she cheered me up in a way only Haley could manage. And, when she’d started singing, it had taken everything in me not to lean across the guitar and kiss her right then and there.
Watching her now, I felt myself, along with everyone else in the room, being drawn in by her beautiful, rich voice. As the lyrics of “Collide” poured out of her, her gaze was distant, but I could have sworn she was singing directly to me. Is she thinking about me? Remembering when I played for her? Ever since that night, I’d thought of this song as ours, and in that moment, I was almost certain she did as well.
When the song ended, the crowd was spellbound, momentarily hushed before breaking into enthusiastic applause. Haley graciously accepted the praise, then fled the stage. Wishing I could go after her, it took every ounce of my self-control to get up and walk out the front door of the coffee shop instead. I already stayed longer than I should have.
Step-by-bitter-step, I distanced myself from her, my pulse racing as I tried to grasp what I just witnessed. Although she performed beautifully, there was a melancholy to Haley’s demeanor that punched me in the gut. And, as much as I wished that she was missing only me, deep down, I knew that wasn’t true.
I was beginning to realize that I would do almost anything to make Haley happy. Did that include sharing her with my best friends? Am I crazy to even consider it?
Chapter 25: Liam
Tuesday, August 11th
I took a sip of my Old Fashioned before setting it on the counter so I could line up my cue. Sinking my third shot in a row, I grinned when Knox grunted as anticipated. Not that he was particularly invested in the game; we’d merely needed something to distract from the elephant in the room—also known as Haley—while we waited for Jax and Theo to arrive at the loft.
Chase’s eyes were glued to a baseball game, and though I would normally prod him to get a feel for his thoughts, I didn’t want to negatively influence his decision. This was too important. I needed him to accept the idea that Haley dating all of us—and not just as a short-term selection process—might truly be for the best.
I was willing to fight for her, if necessary, but “letting the best man win” seemed akin to hitting the self-destruct button on every relationship that was important to me. What had been made as a flippant comment about having the benefits of a relationship without the pressure actually struck closer to the mark than I initially realized. Because the more I thought about it, I couldn’t see myself being the “one” Haley would choose.
Despite our bloody fantastic make-out session and the intimate moments we shared, I sincerely doubted she would see me as ideal relationship material. Admittedly, I was a shameless flirt, but I had tried to show Haley that she could trust me, depend on me. That she was important to me.
Even so, most of my relationships, if you could call them that, had been short-lived. Once women tired of romantic dinners, expensive gifts, and tumbles in the sheets, what was left? I knew Haley wasn’t most women, far from it, but I still wondered if I had what it took to be her everything.
When the news announcer mentioned Gerald Douglas, Knox and I both turned to focus on the TV. State Senator and local politician Gerald Douglas is under fire after allegations of improper campaign contributions came to light earlier this week. He made a name for himself as a successful district attorney in Los Angeles before turning to politics and philanthropy. Currently running for the U.S. Senate, his campaign may be suspended pending an investigation into the financing. We contacted his office regarding these allegations, but they declined to comment.
Knox and I shared a knowing smirk as Theo bounded down the stairs followed by Jackson.
“Brilliant work, Theo. Douglas was just featured on the evening news,” I said.
Theo grinned. “Thanks. I was more than done with my snotty alter-ego, but it was worth it. Even from the limited documents I saw, I’m pretty sure Jim and Douglas are completely screwed.”
Chase switched off the TV while the rest of us migrated to the couches. Everyone seemed hesitant to talk, and I took another sip of my drink, wondering what would happen if we couldn’t reach an agreement. I planned to convince Haley to come home with or without the group and imagined several, if not all, of the guys felt the same.
“Can we get on with it?” Theo asked impatiently, drumming his fingers on the arm of the sofa.
Jax cleared his throat. “I don’t want to rush any of you into a decision you’re not ready for, but with Douglas scrambling to clean up his mess, I think we can all agree that it’s time to get Haley back.” He glanced around, appearing optimistic, and there was a murmur of agreement.
I still didn’t know precisely where Jax stood on the matter, but my hunch was that he would go along willingly if the rest of the group was on board. He was just leery of pushing anyone to make a decision they might regret, especially after the Ethan fiasco.
“I’m almost positive everyone already knows where I stand, but to be clear, I want to bring Haley home ASAP. No choosing, no competing for her; we go all-in.” Theo’s voice almost shook with conviction and passion while Jax seemed relieved someone else was offering an opinion.
“I’m game if you guys are,” I responded, hoping another positive vote would help tip the scales. Chase’s expression remained surprisingly unreadable.
Knox threaded his fingers through his hair, and I seriously debated what his vote would be. “I will agree on one condition—Haley is always our top priority. If she ultimately wants to choose one of us, then we all promise to accept her decision.”
“Liam and Theo, can you agree to that?” Jax asked, and we both assented before he turned to Chase. “What are you thinking?”
“Honestly,” he sighed heavily, “I just want Haley to be happy.” There was a long pause while Chase seemed to deliberate. “And I’ll agree to the plan, with Knox’s caveat.”
I scanned his face, suspicion clouding my thoughts. Chase had always been the most risk-averse member of the team. If it came down to it and she wanted all of us, would he be able to accept that? Perhaps he held out hope that Haley would choose him. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but considering his violent opposition to the idea less than two weeks ago, this seemed like a pretty extreme change of heart.
“Since I’m also in favor, it sounds like we have an agreement,” Jax said, looking like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
“Great!” Theo said excitedly. “When are we going to get her?”
Surprisingly, Chase was the first to respond. “Don’t you think if all five of us show up in Portland, it might be a tad overwhelming?”
“Yes, I was thinking we would send two people max. We still have work to do here, unless you guys forgot,” Jax said in a slightly mocking tone, “and we can’t assume she’ll immediately agree to return.”
When we all started talking at once,
Knox whistled loudly, drawing everyone’s attention and stopping the chatter. “I’m going, period,” he commanded, leaving no room for negotiation.
Theo spoke quickly. “I know everyone wants to go, but we need to consider who has the best chance of convincing Haley to come home. Since Chase and Liam have both kissed her, their presence may make her feel uncomfortable, and she has a rocky past with Jackson. If nothing else, Haley and I were really close friends from the beginning, which makes me an obvious choice. And I know she’ll take anything Knox says as fact, so the two of us would make a great team.”
Chase’s disappointed expression likely mirrored my own, but we couldn’t deny that Theo’s points were valid. It was more important to bring Haley back permanently than to insist on seeing her immediately. But, damn, for the thousandth time I wished she’d been living with and getting so close to me for all those months instead.
As we continued to make plans for Haley’s return, I watched my four best friends’ faces transform from optimistic to expectant to exuberant. And, for the first time, it hit me how badly we all needed this plan to succeed. It might get awkward as hell at times, but hopefully it would be worth it in the end.
Epilogue: Haley
Friday, August 14th
I sank into an oversized leather chair and took a sip of my iced chai latte, savoring the spicy sweetness as it rolled over my tongue. Although I preferred the hot version, the weather was entirely too steamy to drink anything less than ice-cold, especially after the morning rush from hell. My feet ached, and my break couldn’t have come a second too soon.
Of course, now that I had time to breathe, I immediately thought back to the customer who practically threw me into a tailspin hours before. His unruly black curls drew my gaze like a beacon, causing my breath to catch and pulse to skyrocket. From a distance, I couldn’t make out his features clearly and jumped to the hopeful conclusion that Jax stood mere feet away. But, when he moved directly in front of me, I realized that the resemblance was shaky, at best. His shoulders were less developed, his face softer, and his eyes a boring shade of brown instead of a blue as fathomless as the ocean.
