by Aimee Duffy
Closing her eyes, she listened to the sound of the shower pelting down on him and though heat stirred in the pit of her stomach imagining him all naked, wet and soaped up, she couldn’t get into the fantasy.
Talking about her childhood brought back things she didn’t want to worry about, like what she was going to do with her life and how she’d feel saying goodbye to Zack for the last time.
Then there were her friends. Both would be returning to their corners of the UK which was further than a few doors down in their college. She’d been so used to having them close for years, the ocean separating them would make it feel like she was on the other side of the planet.
Rolling over she pulled a pillow over her head and tried to drive out the thoughts. All stuff that would happen weeks from now, not straight away. But then she sat up, checked her mobile and the date hit her hard.
It was August already. Where had the time gone? They only had one more stop left, just a few measly days spread out between here and there. It wasn’t weeks at all.
Her hands started to shake and the screen blurred as tears formed in her eyes. Eight days and she’d have to say goodbye to Zack and the two best friends she’d ever had. If she thought she’d felt bad in Paris, the thick, dark cloud surrounding her now made that look like a stroll in the park.
‘Ciara, what’s wrong?’ Zack asked.
She hadn’t heard the shower stop or see him come into the room but then her gaze had been glued to the date on her phone. The bed dipped under his weight and his solid, shower fresh body brought out another wave of sadness.
As tears streamed down her face she struggled to wipe them away, dropping the evil phone onto the covers.
He pulled her into his arms and let her cry on his shoulder until she had no tears left.
How could she leave him?
‘Are you sad because you have to go home soon?’ he asked.
‘Yes, and no. I’ll miss you all like mad but it will be good to see my da and get home.’ She was lying about the last bit. Of course she wanted to see her da but the home part hadn’t been happy for a long time. Everywhere there was a constant reminder of who was missing from their little family and that was almost as painful as never seeing Zack again.
‘I’m sure it’s not the end of your friendship. My cousin is far too stubborn to give up on someone she cares about,’ he said, pulling back to see her face.
What about you? she wanted to ask, but the lump in her throat stopped her.
‘Instead of being upset, why not choose to make the most of what time you have left?’ he asked.
‘That’s a change of attitude from earlier.’ He’d been the miserable one just hours ago, now it was her on the bed looking like nothing could lighten her mood.
‘And it was you who cheered me up. I’m returning the favour.’
She rubbed her eyes until they were dry and a little sore. ‘I should get a move on before Elle comes in to drag me out.’
He looked at her in that way Elle did when she wanted to say something she knew she shouldn’t, except Elle would have barrelled on anyway. He just kissed her head and told her he’d wait in the kitchen.
She rushed through her shower, feeling guilty for shunning Zack the way she did. He was right, she had to start focusing on the now or she’d ruin what little time they had left.
Keeping the towel wrapped around her, she darted through the suite until she got to the kitchen. Elle’s voice stopped her dead, but only because it was more like a whisper. When she heard Zack’s name she stayed behind the partition and waited like the sneaky eavesdropper she was.
‘I spoke with him, Zack. He told me everything,’ Elle said.
He cursed under his breath, or she assumed it was a curse. ‘Why can’t you stay out of my business? I don’t stick my nose in yours.’
‘Because what you choose to do now affects my friend and I won’t let you lead her on like this, it’s not fair.’ Elle sounded so angry her voice rose a few octaves.
All the while Ciara’s body temperature dropped. He was leading her on?
‘I’m not leading anyone on. I care about Ciara.’
‘So stop fucking about and make a choice!’ Elle obviously wasn’t as mollified as she was.
‘It’s not that easy. He clearly didn’t tell you everything.’ Zack’s voice was starting to rise too, he sounded more frustrated than she’d ever heard him.
‘He’s pissed off but he’ll calm down. You need to tell Ciara.’
She bit her lip, preparing for the refusal that would cut her deep.
‘I can’t put that on her, it’s not fair.’ He sighed.
‘Fair or not, she needs a reality check whatever she decides to do. If nothing else it will make your decision easier.’
She wondered if Elle was talking in riddles because she knew Ciara was listening in and wanted to pay her back. But the reality check comment pissed her off more than the riddles. Why couldn’t they just spit it out?
‘Nothing about this is going to be easy, either way I have to give up something I can’t imagine living without.’ The sadness in his voice brought tears to her eyes.
‘If that’s true then you have to decide what means more to you,’ Elle said, then Ciara heard the sound of footsteps on the tile floor and bolted to her room.
Chapter Seventeen
She’d been expecting more gloom from Zack when she’d finished getting ready, but instead he treated her to a tummy flipping grin and compliments about how sexy she looked in her little blue dress.
The taxi to the beach party was full of tension though. Gem was blissfully unaware, telling them about her plans to chat up Dave Call but Ciara didn’t miss the pointed glances Elle kept throwing at Zack.
He was doing a good job of pretending not to notice and after a few drinks surrounded by gorgeous people, he seemed to have forgotten the conversation she’d listened in on altogether.
But Ciara hadn’t. She wondered what it was he didn’t want to ‘put on her’ and couldn’t seem to relax and enjoy herself. Until Zack took her hand and led her down the beach, away from the bright lights and loud music.
‘Why are we out here?’ she asked.
‘You didn’t seem into the party,’ he said, then sat down pulling her with him until she was straddling his hips. ‘I really love that dress on you.’
‘I got it in Miami,’ she said, smoothing it down over her legs.
The breeze coming off the sea made her shiver a bit until he bent his knees and rested his forearms on her shoulders. Like this they were intimately close but the dynamic between them wasn’t just sexual. It was so much more.
‘We can go back if you’re cold,’ he said.
Ciara shook her head. Freezing or not, he had that look again that said he had something to say but was still hesitating.
She decided a little push was in order. ‘I can read you as well as I can read Elle, you know. You have that look again that says you want to say something.’
His lips pulled up at one side. ‘Can’t get anything past you, can I?’
‘We geeks can be intuitive.’
‘Earlier, when I first got here, you asked what was wrong. That disagreement with my granddad was more like an ultimatum.’ He played with a strand of her hair, avoiding her eyes.
‘That’s awful,’ she said, placing her palm on his cheek. ‘Why would he do that?’
‘He wants me to do things I don’t, I want to focus on architecture instead of the business. He said I’d be on my own if I decided to go that way.’
‘What? He’d just give up on you?’ She’d never been so mad at anyone as she was at his granddad right then.
‘No, but he’d cut me off. I’d be financially on my own. I mean, I have savings but without the income I’m getting now they wouldn’t last as long as they’d need to.’
‘Your savings would probably last someone else a year or two.’ She knew the Muirs could spend and he was clearly no different, thinking nothing of jumping
on a flight to Paris a few hours after he was asked to go.
He laughed. ‘You’re probably right.’
‘Do you want to know what I think?’ she asked.
‘It couldn’t hurt.’
‘You’re so lucky to know what your dream career is. I haven’t a clue what I want to do with my life and that’s scarier than the thought of having no money. If it was me I’d go with my heart and try to make it work.’
‘I don’t think you follow your heart as much as you should,’ he said. ‘But I know you’re right. Walking away from the business is a huge step and not something my parents would have wanted, which is what’s making it harder to decide.’
She took his face in her hands and kissed him softly. ‘I’ll bet your parents are proud of you whatever you do.’
‘Thank you. I think I needed to hear that.’
He kissed her this time, slowly and softly but with purpose. Threading her fingers through her hair, she kissed him back, switching the gears until she was panting and the fire in her veins smouldered through her like a drug.
She didn’t care if it was a chemical reaction or whatever Gem called this, it felt right and exciting and she never wanted it to stop.
When his lips left her mouth in favour of her neck she shivered again.
‘Do you want to get out of here?’ he asked.
She shook her head. Then remembered she hadn’t asked what his granddad wanted him to do other than run the business.
He didn’t give her time to mull it over long. Sliding his hands under her dress, he set her skin on fire with his touch and she did the same with him, exploring his abs, chest and sides until she got so hot she forgot where they were and why, only that she was with him.
Making quick work of his buckle and zipper, she freed his erection and squeezed it until he gasped. Zack used his thumb to press against her clit until pleasure spiked through her.
‘Please tell me you brought condoms,’ she panted while he went to work on her.
In response, he pulled a foil package from his pocket and she snatched it off him, making short work of the task.
He grinned. ‘Always impatient.’
‘It feels like it’s been years, not hours,’ she said, then tugged her knickers to the side and slid down on him.
She rode him fast while the pressure built unbearably quickly. Just a little longer and she was having her cry swallowed by Zack’s mouth. Though she was limp, he wasn’t done and rolled them over so her back was on the sand and she didn’t care that she’d be uncomfortable for the rest of the night. Not when she was clinging on as he fucked her like he couldn’t get enough of her.
As the pressure built again Zack jerked with his own release and she couldn’t keep the disappointment from showing. Gutted was an understatement.
‘Sorry,’ he said, between pants. ‘Give me a sec and I’ll make it up to you.’
But as she took all his weight as his chest heaved with hers, she didn’t mind so much. They were still joined together and she felt closer to him than she’d ever been.
Zack was obviously determined to keep his word because he disposed of the condom in a tissue and then kissed his way down her stomach.
‘You can’t do that after we’ve just—’
He didn’t listen, nor did the idea seem to ick him out. He pulled her knickers down to her knees, hiked her legs over his shoulders and then swirled his tongue around her clit in a way that made her writhe on the sand – hair and dress forgotten about.
‘Oh, feck that’s good.’
Good wasn’t what he was going for though. Soon he added a few fingers to the mix, rubbing gently against both of her g-spots at the same time. The waves of pleasure crashing through her body made her unable to hold back her screams when she went into spasms. Not even when he rung the last aftershock from her trembling body.
‘Better?’ he asked with a grin.
Ciara just closed her eyes and tried for a nod. Her muscles felt jelly-like. Moving anytime soon was not going to happen, that was for sure.
‘Thankfully there’s no one around or that could have gotten us in trouble.’ He righted her dress then lay down on the sand beside her.
His face was illuminated by the moonlight and to her, he looked more gorgeous than ever.
‘I got a bit carried away,’ she admitted.
‘It’s like that for me every time I’m with you,’ he said and linked his fingers through hers.
Side by side, they both looked up at the stars shining above them. Even if she got the feeling back in her legs anytime soon, she just wanted to lie there with him for as long as they could. It was just a pity that her time would be up before she was, but she was done dwelling for now.
***
The next day she hit the shops with Elle and Gem, getting her ear chewed off by one for not keeping her moans and groans to herself that morning, while the other went through her failed seduction with Dave Call trying to figure out where she’d gone wrong.
Ciara took the earful from Elle and even managed the odd apology with a promise not to be so loud again while encouraging Gem to try for someone else. By the time they’d stopped at a café to order some lattes, her mind had drifted back to Zack.
She’d left him working on a contract for the company and could tell his heart hadn’t been in it. She was sad to think he hadn’t made up his mind yet and wondered again what else his granddad wanted him to do that made Zack so upset.
Because despite him saying it was nothing, he did look genuinely upset when he arrived the day before.
‘Are you going to keep pretending your listening to us or are you actually going to join in with the conversation,’ Elle asked, sounding more and more miffed every time she spoke.
Well her friend wasn’t the only one miffed. She remembered the comment about Ciara needing a reality check yesterday and she didn’t care if her friend found out she’d been eavesdropping.
‘Get off your high horse, Elle. Maybe you should start by telling me why you think I need a reality check?’
Elle paled to the point even her tan looked peaky. ‘What do you mean?’
‘I heard you and Zack in the kitchen yesterday. What is he hiding and don’t say “ask him” because he told me about the ultimatum.’ Just not all the things their granddad wanted him to do.
‘You know what they say about eavesdroppers, don’t you?’ Elle said calmly and if it wasn’t for the forced poker face Ciara might have believed she was being silly.
‘Since you think it affects me, I have a right to know.’ She tried to take a deep breath to calm down but it was tough since Elle didn’t look like she was going to budge.
‘What’s this about?’ Gem asked. ‘Ciara why are you getting angry?’
She unclenched her fists and pulled her hands under the table. More deep breaths.
‘It’s not my place to say,’ Elle hedged. Ever the evader.
‘You’re both my best friends. If I knew something that could hurt you I wouldn’t hesitate to tell you both. Please, Elle.’
‘Spit it out, Elle,’ Gem added.
‘Cia seriously, do you think I’m doing this to be a bitch?’ Elle asked.
She shook her head, though she wasn’t so sure.
‘I know things have changed for you. I can see it in the way you look at Zack. What I meant by reality check is that I wanted him to tell you himself. That way you might get over this stupid fear of what your mum did and take a chance for once.’
Elle reached across to touch Ciara’s shoulder but she shifted away. ‘It’s not stupid. It’s who I am.’
‘You’re being ridiculous!’ Elle folded her arms. ‘Seriously, you are the most loyal person I know. You’d never walk out on anyone when the going got tough, you’d work hard, deal and get through it.’
‘I think she’s right,’ Gem chimed in. ‘And I think you need to face what’s really going on between you and Zack before one or both of you end up hurt.’
That was going
to happen either way, but she didn’t bother telling them that. Even if she could get past the idea she might one day hurt him, there was still the distance between them. He lived in London and she suspected he was going to go back to work regardless of what she said or did.
‘He told me once that your granddad took him in and that everything he does is because he wants what’s best. I don’t think Zack could let him down and the thought of living without the security blanket of an income is putting him off too.’
Not that she thought he was all in it for the money, that wasn’t him at all. But there was no doubt he was used to the good things in life. The switchover would be tough for anyone.
‘Maybe, but Granddad wants him to be happy too. Ciara, if anyone can show Zack that living on a budget doesn’t mean he has to be miserable, it’s you. And I don’t mean that in a bitchy way.’
Elle was right. She did know how to watch her spending but there wasn’t much time left and she hated wasting what little they had as it was.
‘He will tell you, I’ll make sure of it but you have to be honest too. Let him know why you won’t commit and maybe then he’ll have a fighting chance of showing you how wrong you are,’ Elle said.
If only he wanted her that way, but she couldn’t be sure. She supposed Elle was right though. And she couldn’t expect him to be completely honest when she wasn’t.
‘I’ll try,’ she said, not able to promise more than that.
‘Glad we got that sorted,’ Gem said. ‘Now let’s talk about tonight! I think it’s time we got in some serious clubbing.’
The lighter, less touchy subject got her mind off what she was going to do about Zack. At least now she better understood why he’d rather forget about it than deal. Wasn’t that what she was doing when it came to going home?
***
Zack stayed in the hotel that night saying he had urgent stuff to deal with and an important call to take later. Despite being in a tee-shirt and shorts, he looked every bit the serious businessman who was no doubt as good at his job as he was at designing buildings.
