There was no denying I was attracted to him; I just didn’t want to be. What I wanted was to learn from him, just as I said. But sexually, I needed no instruction. If Leanne’s words about my skill were true, I didn’t really need to learn from Dallas about photography, either, but for the time being, I was content to do so.
The next morning, I tried to act as normal as possible as I met Tyler in the cafeteria for breakfast. There were no hot foods, but there was ample supply of fresh fruits, cereal, and yogurt. I grabbed a banana and some yogurt and sat across from Tyler.
“You sleep okay?” he asked, looking up from his bowl of cereal.
I nodded. “Of course.”
“Well, I wondered if Dallas got under your skin…”
“No, he didn’t,” I lied. I dug into my yogurt with gusto.
I avoided Tyler’s eyes, but I could feel his smirk. “Yeah, right. I know you all too well. The bags under your eyes are proof enough. Don’t you usually pack on the makeup?”
I lifted my head to glare at him. “I don’t pack it on, but yes, I normally wear it. I figured it was pointless out in the jungle. I didn’t even bring any with me on the trip.” I also didn’t want to give Dallas any more reason to like me.
Both his brows rose. “Oh? I’m shocked.”
“Whatever.”
“Someone’s pissy this morning,” he muttered, turning his attention back to his Cheerios and finally leaving me alone.
“Good morning.” Dallas’s presence at the table made my head hurt. I didn’t want to deal with him, but I knew it was useless to try to get away from him too much. We were all going to be in close quarters for the next few weeks.
“Morning,” I grumbled.
“Hey Dallas. Don’t fuck with Nic this morning,” Tyler warned.
I glanced up at Dallas, noted that I wasn’t the only one who looked like I hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep and then turned all my attention to my yogurt.
“Can I join you?”
I shrugged in reply. “Of course,” Tyler replied.
Dallas sat next to my cousin but remained silent, obviously taking Tyler’s warning to heart. I watched him out of the corner of my eye while pretending to be thoroughly interested in my yogurt. He kept his head down, pouring his milk into a bowl of cereal and picking up his spoon.
Despite his tired eyes, he looked phenomenal as usual. The man could wear rags and still look good enough to eat. In his red polo shirt, the short sleeves clinging to his muscled arms and his hair still just a bit damp from a recent shower, I had all I could do to keep from drooling. I tilted my head to appreciate his form better, taking in his sharp jaw and delicious-looking lips. Just as my gaze moved up over his face, his eyes found mine. He was staring just as intently at me as I was at him.
I gulped, closing my eyes. I drew a deep breath, begging myself not to show how much I liked his appearance, and then opened my eyes. He hadn’t stopped staring at me, his eyes nearly on fire. I turned my head, focusing on Tyler.
“So when do we leave?” I asked, trying to sound like my mood had improved.
Dallas laughed as Tyler answered. “As soon as you two are done flirting, we’ll be on our way.”
I gasped. “We weren’t flirting!”
Tyler stood. “Yeah, right. Come on, we’ve got things to do.”
He turned away and I got up to follow, trying desperately to ignore Dallas, who inhaled his Cheerios and then sucked down the remaining milk. My mind wondered if he’d be that fast in bed. Stop that! I chastised myself. I needed to stop thinking of him as a sex object and start remembering that he was my boss, my mentor.
I forced my feet to carry me over to where Tyler waited for me by the door. “What’s wrong with you?” I whispered to him.
“Me? You’re the one eye-fucking him at the breakfast table!”
“Fuck you.”
He chuckled. “No thanks. That would be awkward.”
“You’re disgusting.”
His brown eyes turned serious. “How are you going to be able to say no to him? And you know it’s coming, Nicole. Whether I’m around or not, Dallas doesn’t know we’re related and he’s going to try to get in your pants. I won’t always be right there when he propositions you. Are you going to be able to turn him down?”
The truth was, I didn’t know. If Dallas got me alone like Tyler seemed to think he would, and turned on the charm, I could easily fall prey to him. When he wanted to be, he was actually quite charming. Even my best resistance was bound to fail.
“Just stay glued to my side, okay?” I begged my cousin.
He nodded as Dallas walked up, tossing his dishes in the bin and his trash in the barrel. “Are we ready?”
“Sure,” I replied, my voice strained.
“Let’s do it!” Tyler smiled.
The three of us each went to our rooms to grab our bags and Dallas told me to meet them in front of the building. I was the first one outside, the heat already picking up. Tyler’s Jeep was parked up front and I walked to it, wondering if he left it open. I tugged on the back door handle and it flew open. I tossed my bag inside, closed the door, and then leaned against the back bumper, watching for the two men I was about to spend way too much time with.
* * * * *
After ten minutes, I wondered what was taking them so long. Shouldn’t they have had all their things packed?
I wandered back inside to the dorms, heading toward Tyler’s room. Just as I approached, I heard voices coming from inside. The door was closed but not fully latched and I could hear Dallas and Tyler arguing inside.
“She’s not just a piece of ass,” Tyler said.
Dallas’s voice was angry. “Why does she matter to you, Ty? Why is she so important that I can’t seduce her?”
“She just is,” Tyler answered with a sigh.
“Are you into her?”
“No! I just like her as a person and a photographer. I think she could go far, if she doesn’t fall into your trap.” Tyler tried to avoid the reality.
“My trap? What the fuck, Tyler? I thought we were friends…”
“We are. I’m just sick of you treating women like shit,” my cousin replied, sounding exasperated.
“Well, unfortunately for you, Nicole makes her own decisions and she’s not going to let you decide her future.”
In the nick of time, I pressed myself into a nook in the adjacent wall. Dallas passed by me without a second glance as he stormed out of Tyler’s room, his bag in hand. I took a deep breath, worried about my cousin. I stepped into the hall as he came out of his room.
He glared at me. “Oh, good. You’ve resorted to eavesdropping now?”
“Don’t talk to me like that. I waited for ten minutes for you guys to come outside. When you didn’t show, I came looking. I’m not all that impressed with what I’ve found.”
“So?”
“‘So?’ Is that all you have to say for yourself?” I asked him as we walked toward the front entrance.
“What’s the problem?”
I sighed. “The problem is, I don’t need someone fighting my battles for me, Ty. I really do appreciate what you’re trying to do, but do you really want to look that suspicious in Dallas’s eyes? He already thinks you’re trying to claim me for yourself. Just back off. I can take care of myself.”
“I’ll believe that when I see it,” he muttered as we pushed through the glass doors to the outside. “Fuck, it’s hot.”
I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. Somewhere in our lives, Tyler had become like a big brother to me, and while most days I was thankful, today, I was pissed that he was trying to keep Dallas away from me. I told myself I was angry because he was being overly protective, but the truth was far different. There was a part of me, however tiny, that wanted Dallas’s attention. A piece of me longed for it, even if the end game was to turn him down. I wanted to feel wanted, even if just sexually. It was stupid, but I couldn’t help it.
I didn’t say anything as we approached the
Jeep to where Dallas waited for us.
“Ready to go?” Dallas asked, his mood much different than what I witnessed a few minutes before. Tyler gave him a quick nod and jumped in the driver’s seat. Dallas looked at me. “Ready?”
I nodded, giving him a fake smile, but it must not have come through right.
“Are you okay?” he asked, stepping closer to me. “I know it’s overwhelming.” His concern was genuine.
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “Yeah, I’m good. Let’s get this party started.”
His eyes were disbelieving, but he let me go around him to get in the back seat. I buckled myself in and ran my hand across my camera bag. No matter what happened, I needed to remember that all I would ever be to Dallas was just a good fuck; but to me, Dallas was the only obstacle in my way to a great career.
Nine
Dallas
Despite her erratic behavior, Nicole looked serene in the back seat. She glanced out the window, taking in her surroundings as if she hadn’t witnessed my argument with Tyler. I saw her out of the corner of my eye as I passed her, but I figured she wanted to keep her presence a secret, so I ignored her. I walked down the hall in a huff, both excited and off-put by the fact that Nicole overheard our conversation. I didn’t care that she eavesdropped, but I wondered what she thought of me. If she was impressed, then great, but if she was pissed about what I said, then I would probably have to apologize.
I read women easily, which meant it wouldn’t take long for her true feelings to come to light on how she felt about what I said, even if she tried to hide them. So far, she wasn’t hinting at anger, though, which was good. I sucked at giving apologies. Hell, I sucked at dealing with women outside the bedroom at all, let alone trying to actually woo one. She was going to be a tough nut to crack, but I wouldn’t back down.
I tried not to look at Nicole, but she was so preoccupied with everything outside her window, I could look at her all I wanted. I took her in, noting her wild hair. It wasn’t frizzy; there was just a lot of it and it liked to curl, even though I could tell she’d straightened it. I imagined running my fingers through it, all soft and silky. I bet her hair smelled amazing, too.
Before I got too far in my fantasy, I had to snap myself out of it. I was semi-hard already and I knew Tyler wouldn’t appreciate it if he noticed. I sighed, forcing myself to start a conversation in the quiet Jeep.
“Did Leanne tell you about our trip, Nicole?”
She looked up at me, her eyes wide. “Huh?”
“Pay attention,” I said, trying to joke. “I asked if Leanne told you about the trip.”
“Oh. Sorry. No, she didn’t.”
I smiled. Talking about the trip and the ins and outs of the jungle was a safe thing to think and talk about.
“It’s shitty.”
Tyler’s comment irritated me and I glared at him.
“That’s comforting,” Nicole replied, glancing at Tyler through the rear-view mirror and giving him a wink.
What the fuck? Are they a couple? I wanted to ask them, to call out their ridiculous behavior, but I knew better. If they were, they wouldn’t be for long, and if they weren’t, well then Nicole was free. Either way, I won.
“The jungle is dangerous, but it’s beautiful, too. I wouldn’t expect a journalist to understand,” I couldn’t help but take the dig at Tyler. Especially when he never once mentioned to me that he wanted to be a journalist. I didn’t like surprises. “Photographers like us appreciate beauty.” I glanced back at Nicole, who was paying attention like I suggested. Her eyes were fixed on me, making me just a bit self-conscious. The depth of her focus was intense, forcing my heart to race.
“We’ll drive for a few hours and then we’ll be on foot, hiking through the jungle. You’ll need to make sure you keep up. I set a grueling pace.”
“I’m sure I’ll be fine,” she muttered, as if I was questioning her athleticism.
“It’s nothing personal. In fact, Tyler, you’ll need to make sure you don’t get left behind, too. The only way to move through this jungle is fast. There are too many wild animals to slow down or to worry about bending over to tie your shoe. I’m not going to stop and make sure that either of you is still with me when we go. In fact, if you don’t speak up when you need to stop, chances are, I won’t stop on my own. I’m used to going solo on these trips, except for the occasional intern. But I don’t stop for them, either. You’re going to learn a lot, kid, so just try to keep the pace.”
I saw her eye roll and ignored it. Tyler wasn’t as subtle. “Don’t be a douche, Dallas. You know you aren’t going to let anything happen to either of us and you sure as hell aren’t going to continue on if one of us stops. So just stop the scare tactics.”
I turned to him, gauging his words. “I didn’t say I wouldn’t stop. I simply said that I’m not someone who predicts what’s going on in someone else’s mind. If either of you has to stop, for whatever reason, say so. And since when did you start calling me Dallas on the job?”
He rolled his eyes the same way Nicole did a minute before. “You’ve always been Dallas. But maybe I don’t see you as my employer anymore. You’re just the photographer taking pictures for my article.”
I tried not to let it show, but his words hurt. We’d been friends a long time, and I got him the job. He wasn’t the type to be so cocky, but I had a feeling it was all for show. Nicole didn’t seem too impressed. Her arms were folded neatly across her chest, tugging her t-shirt tighter over her breasts. I tried not to notice.
When Tyler pulled the Jeep over into a tiny alcove off the dirt road an hour later, I saw the fear in Nicole’s eyes. She didn’t say a word, though. She simply hopped out with us, strapped on her backpack and offered to carry more than her share of water.
“I’m not weak,” she murmured when I told her Tyler and I had the rest.
“It’s not about strength, Nicole. Tyler and I are bigger than you, which means we’ll be consuming more water. You only carry what you’re going to need,” I explained, hiding my smile. I could never think she was weak. Stubborn as a bull, sure, but never weak.
“Oh,” she said, looking at the large canteen I’d given her to carry. “Is this all the water I get for the duration?” She sounded horrified.
I bit back a laugh. “No. That’s to get you to camp tonight. There’s a fresh water stream near where we’re set to make camp and we’ll all fill up there for the night and then again in the morning. Don’t worry, no one will get dehydrated, I promise.”
Tyler kept silent during our exchange, which worried me as much as it made me happy. I was glad to be able to hold a conversation with Nicole without him interfering. I started our hike, which I purposely mislead them about. I made it seem like it was only a couple of miles, when in actuality, it was closer to twelve. I didn’t tell them because they’re attitudes would start bad instead of starting out good, like they were. I led the way, the two of them following me closely. When we got to the one person bridge that had us crossing a ledge, I volunteered to go first, to make sure the other side was safe. I knew the bridge was safe; I’d crossed it many times over the years. I even repaired it a few years back.
“Nicole, you’ll go second,” I instructed.
“Why? Because I’m a defenseless woman?” she retorted.
Yes, that’s exactly why. “Of course not. After my weight, we don’t want to have too much weigh on those ropes too soon. You hardly weigh anything, so the ropes will have a chance to recover from being stressed by me. Then Tyler will go. This is how it’s done.” It was a load of bullshit.
I didn’t let her argue, but Tyler, I noticed, was smirking. He knew I was lying, but he wasn’t about to argue. If there was one thing I knew about Nicole, it was that she didn’t want to be coddled at all. She had the whole feminist thing going, which was fine, but I was a protector, and I was one hundred percent responsible for her. If she careened off a cliff, it was on me, not Tyler.
Hours later, we reached the stream I de
emed suitable to refill our canteens. I was impressed. Neither of them asked for a reprieve during all twelve miles. They were obviously exhausted, but I knew first-hand how hard it was to admit exhaustion on a first trip. Excitement overtook all other feelings. Temporarily. I was willing to bet they both crashed within an hour or so.
Once we were stocked up on water, I led them the last half mile to the small clearing I’d used more times than I could count. It was like coming home. They both let out a sigh when I announced we’d arrived.
“Let’s set up camp,” I suggested. I knew they wouldn’t be up for it in an hour when their adrenaline wore off.
“Do we have separate tents?” Nicole asked.
I grinned at her. “Not a chance. It gets cold at night. We need to keep all the body heat in one tent.”
“I’m not sleeping naked,” she announced.
Tyler laughed. “There won’t be any need. Our body heat will permeate through our clothes. It doesn’t freeze.”
I nodded at Nicole, who looked at Tyler in disbelief. “I’m not really much of a camper,” she admitted.
“You don’t say.” Tyler’s words were sarcastic, but I didn’t like his attitude.
“Tyler, why don’t you go gather some firewood while Nicole and I get the tent set up?”
He looked at us and then shook his head, muttering something unintelligible. I ignored his comment and waited for him to leave the clearing before I spoke to Nicole again.
“Don’t worry. No one’s getting naked in the tent.” Despite my best efforts.
She let out a breath. “Good to know.”
“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked her again. I asked her several times during the hike, but I kept getting the same monotone yes.
“No.” Finally, a real answer! “But I’ll survive. I always have.”
Her statement surprised me. I didn’t take her for the emo type, but everyone had their own little secrets, I guessed.
“Well, if you need anything, I’m here,” I said, utterly sincere.
Wild Dreams Page 5
