“I just thought you might reach out to her. Give her a ride home. Strike up a conversation. Be friendly.”
“And in return for my, uh, ‘friendship’”—Rafe sketched the quotation marks in the air— “you’ll spill all your secrets?”
I stifled a sigh. “I will tell you about what I can do. I’ll talk with you for as long as you want. You can ask anything.”
“When?” Rafe demanded.
I threw my hands up. “I don’t know. I’m off work tomorrow…”
“Perfect. I’ll come to your house right after school.” He backed away, about to meld into the crowd around us.
“Wait a minute!” I hissed. “What about Cara?”
He shot me his crooked grin. “No worries. I’ve got it covered.”
I waited for Rafe on my front porch the next afternoon. Although it was late September, the sun was still intense, and I pulled a chair way back beneath the eaves to find some shade. The street was quiet, although I could hear the occasional shouts of children making their way home from the nearby elementary school.
My mom was inside, working in her office. I had felt her barely veiled curiosity when I’d told her that I was expecting a friend and that it was not one she knew.
“Well, that’s great,” she’d enthused. “I’m glad you’re making new friends. Does she live close by?”
“Actually, Mom, he lives over on the other side of town, in one of those big houses.” When she raised her eyebrows inquiringly, I sighed and shook my head.
“It’s not a big deal. He’s new in town, and he just needs someone to talk to. Michael knows,” I added for good measure.
And it was true. In my new spirit of complete honesty, I’d told Michael everything about my encounter with Rafe on Monday at his grandparents’ home and about our meeting today. He didn’t say too much, and even across the phone lines I could imagine the reservations he was having.
“He admitted to messing with your mind, Tas. Call me crazy, but that’s not the kind of person I’m excited to have in your life.”
I pulled my legs up beneath me and closed my eyes, remembering his words. I hadn’t told Michael everything, actually. I had left out the last thought I’d heard from Rafe, about him kissing me again. Since it wasn’t going to happen, it wasn’t worth mentioning.
I heard a car turn onto the street, and Rafe’s distinctive red compact purred to a stop at the curb. I picked up his jaunty thoughts as soon as he climbed out of the car.
Today I get some real time with her. Gonna have time to change her mind, make her see how great we could be together.
He didn’t see me in the shadows of the porch until he reached the top step, and I felt his moment of consternation when he remembered what I could do.
“Hey.” He decided to play it cool, and I had trouble not rolling my eyes at him.
“Let’s get this straight right now, before anything else. You’re here because I keep my promises. I’m not interested in you, and I’m not going to change my mind.” I held his eyes with my own, challenging him to contradict me.
He hesitated only a moment and then shrugged. “Whatever. But I thought you were all into rules and not listening to other people. Why did you hear me?”
“Sometimes things sneak up on me, if I’m not concentrating on blocking. And keep your voice down, please. My mom doesn’t know that you know. I’d like to keep it that way.”
Rafe dropped into a chair near me and spread out his legs in front of him. I frowned, thinking that he really was absurdly tall.
He crossed his arms on his chest and looked at me expectantly. “So... spill.”
“What do you want to know, exactly?” I intended to give him only as much as was absolutely necessary.
“Everything.”
“Narrow it down. I’m not going to spend all afternoon here with you, and my mom is probably going to make an appearance at some point.”
“Okay.” He tilted his head, considering. “Can you hear everyone at once? Do you hear the answers when teachers ask questions? Do your parents hate that they can’t keep a secret from you?”
I was taken aback. Part of me had expected him to ask the same questions Michael had asked last year. I should have realized that Rafe would be completely different.
“If I let down all my guards, yes, I’d be able to hear everyone near me. But it would be like living with the roar of a crowd in my head all the time, and that would drive me crazy. So I block most people almost constantly.
“I don’t ever try to hear what teachers are thinking. That would be cheating. And I don’t listen to my parents, either. That would be rude.”
Rafe let out a bark of laughter. “Seriously? I thought you had to be holding back on me when you said you said you block people most of the time. But you honestly don’t use your gift? What’s the point in having it?”
I was instantly defensive. This was a constant struggle in my life, between the rules my parents had always held me to and the natural desire to use my talents more fully.
“The point? What are you talking about? I didn’t ask for this. I didn’t choose it. I have to learn to live with it. And what my parents taught me made it possible to get through life like a normal person. Most of the time, at least.”
He was silent, but I felt the speculative nature of his gaze on me. I concentrated hard to maintain my mental wall.
“You know…” His voice dropped, and he leaned toward me slightly. “I asked around about you when I first moved here. I wanted to know about Michael, and how serious you two are… and other stuff. I heard some interesting stories from some people.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“Last year. Some girl, crazy or something, tried to kill you. I’m thinking it’s connected to those scars on your neck.”
Instinctively my hands rose to cover the marks. I couldn’t answer him.
“The girls who told me about it said you’d been into some weird stuff with their friend and it all went down wrong. She’s in a mental hospital, and you’re not.”
I found my voice. “Who told you that? Liza? Casey?”
He gave another half shrug. “One or the other. And I asked Cara about it, too.”
My laugh was brittle and mirthless. “I’ll bet that was illuminating.”
Rafe leaned back in the chair, studying me. “Actually, she didn’t have much to say, other than that no one really knows what happened. She did stick up for you. Said you’d tried to help the other girl, but it was too late.”
“It was complicated,” I murmured. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I have a theory. I think you heard something—you know, with your mind. And I think you tried to stop whatever was going to happen.”
It was my turn to shrug. “You can have whatever theories you want. Just do me a favor and don’t spread them around. And please, don’t say anything to Cara. She doesn’t know about—what I can do. It’s just better she doesn’t have to deal with it.”
“She told me her dad didn’t like you too much, but she wouldn’t say why,” Rafe commented.
“Reverend Pryce—” I began, and then stopped. There wasn’t any point to tearing down Cara’s father. I changed the subject.
“So, you and Cara, you’ve been talking? I mean, I wasn’t trying to set you up or anything, but if you get along—”
“Sure you weren’t,” Rafe retorted, but there was twinkle in his eye, and I felt the turn of his mood. “I like her. She pretty much says what’s on her mind. She doesn’t play games. Smart, pretty… she’s not you, but I’ve been told I can’t have you, so…” He grinned and wiggled his eyebrows at me suggestively, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
It occurred to me that under other circumstances, Rafe and I could have been very good friends. I wasn’t sure that I trusted him, but I had to admit that he was likeable.
I pierced him with a mock-stern glare. “You’re not messing with her mind, are you? Altering her
perception of time or whatever?”
Rafe laughed. “Nah. Haven’t had to yet. Give it time, though.” His smile faded. “Seriously, if I thought there were something that was hurtful to her or painful… I wouldn’t think twice. You think I’m on a power trip, that I abuse my—what do you call it? Your talent? But I don’t. I do use it. I’d use it to help someone I cared about. I’m thinking you’d do the same.”
I didn’t answer right away. Instead I shifted in my chair, bringing my legs in front of me and wrapping my arms around them. “Is there anything else you want to know about me—anything I’m going to tell you, I mean?”
“Yeah. A couple of things. Have you always been able to listen to minds?”
“All my life,” I replied.
“Hmmm. And you’re sure you’re not from a carnie family?”
“Pretty sure. I never heard of King until we moved here last year.”
“Why did you come to King, anyway?” Rafe asked.
“Job transfer—my dad’s. I’ve been moving around my whole life. This is the latest. Why do you ask?”
“It’s just that almost all the carnie families have some kind of… talent. It’s sort of odd, you being here but not being connected in any way.”
I considered, tilting my head to the side. “You mentioned that your grandmother can sense a gift in someone else. So your grandparents know what you can do?”
Rafe stretched his legs out again. “Sure they do. My grandfather can do it, too. And Grandmother is from another carnie family, so she’s got the perception thing.”
“And your mom and dad?”
Again I sensed a shift in his mood. “My dad died when I was ten. He could do it, too, the time altering. Drove my mom crazy.” Rafe’s voice took on an almost wistful tone. “My mother got remarried a few years ago.”
Empathy lowered my mental block, and I could hear him clearly. To a normal guy. Someone she didn’t have to worry about manipulating her mind. Someone who didn’t like having a reminder of husband number one hanging around, who didn’t trust that I wasn’t messing with him.
I reached out to touch his arm. “I’m sorry. That must have been rough.”
He shook his head as if to clear it. “It’s fine. My grandparents wanted me to come live with them. It worked out great.” But the pain was still there in his voice.
The silence grew around us, and then Rafe rose slowly to his feet. “I know you’re not going to tell me anything else,” he said. “But if you ever need to talk to someone who understands, I’m around.” He turned to walk down the porch steps, and then stopped and looked at me over his shoulder, curiosity etched on his face.
“When I saw you with the science teacher that day—Lacusta? Does that have something to do with your ability? Cara said she was involved with what happened last year…” His words trailed off, but I didn’t answer him. I just held his gaze.
Rafe smiled slightly. “I thought so. Like I said, I’m around.” With that, he left.
“Tell me about your own gift, Tasmyn.” Ms. Lacusta was sitting back, watching me with interest. I was momentarily confused; I’d expected her to launch right into the rest of her own story. It was also the second time in five days that I’d been asked to talk about things that I almost never discussed outside my own small circle.
I bit my lip, thinking. “I’ve always heard thoughts, as long as I can remember. When my parents figured out what I could do, they helped me develop skills so that I could live with it.”
“So your parents at first had no idea what you could do. And then once they found out, they forced you to hide it.”
“They taught me to adapt,” I corrected.
“What you can do—hearing thoughts—it’s a very great ability. Denying you their permission to exercise that gift is a terrible thing.”
It was true that I didn’t always agree with the limitations my parents placed on my talents, but I wasn’t going to sit there and listen to Ms. Lacusta judge them.
“You don’t know anything about it. You never even had—” I had been about to say ‘a child’, but I thought better of it. I couldn’t be that intentionally hurtful. “You were never in that situation,” I finished lamely.
“I was never given the opportunity, true.” She toyed absently with the silver disc at her neck. “All right. Let’s get down to business here, as they say. Where were we last week?”
Even though I couldn’t hear what she was thinking, I realized that she was humoring me. She knew exactly where we’d stopped. Annoyed, I shrugged.
“I think you were trying to convince me of your pure motives toward Nell. You didn’t want me to think of you as some kind of wi—”
“That’s right,” Ms. Lacusta interrupted. “I remember.” I hid a smile. I was annoying her right back, and it was very satisfying.
“I believe I was telling you about the beginnings of our chemistry club. I didn’t want to draw suspicion by focusing on Nell completely, right away, so I was pleased when the other girls became involved, too. It was obvious from the beginning that Nell had the most talent and interest, and I felt it was only a matter of time before the rest of them fell away. Then I could concentrate on Nell exclusively.”
“Why? What did you plan to do with Nell once you had her to yourself?
Ms. Lacusta tilted her head as she studied me. “I planned to teach her, to help her develop her power. I wanted to let her see her destiny unfold before her and share my own rich heritage.” Again she fingered the chain. “By the time school began again last autumn, I could tell that Liza and Julie were beginning to lose interest in our club. After all, there was only so much I could teach them. Casey was fascinated with love charms, I recall, and I did teach her a simple one, which she used with some success.”
I tried to remember who Casey had been dating last year. I couldn’t think of anyone who might have been the target of her so-called magiks. I’d have to ask Amber.
“But then… there was a shift, somehow. Nell told me that she had an idea, one she thought I’d like. And it involved recruiting one more girl into our group. I’ll admit, I was impatient. The idea of bringing in another person when I was trying to shrink our numbers… well, I expressed my displeasure to Nell, but it was too late. She’d already befriended Amber, and before I could stop her, she’d invited her to one of our meetings in the clearing.”
I remembered Amber telling me this story from her point of view, how Nell had apologized for past years of bullying and abuse and convinced her that she was genuinely interested in her friendship. So Ms. Lacusta was distancing herself from this part, denying any guilt. Interesting, but not surprising.
“It was around that time that you arrived in King. As soon as I saw you, I could feel your power. I was surprised, yes, but not shocked. I assumed that you were connected with one of King’s founding families and had just moved back. I’d perceived power in other students, to varying degrees, since I’d been here, and it always turned out to be generational.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Handed down power. Like mine, in a way, but perhaps a bit more diluted, since in most cases it hasn’t been well exercised over the years.”
“Did you feel that in Rafe?” I asked.
“Who?” She was genuinely perplexed; she had no memory of him.
“Rafe Brooks. You met him my first time with you here. He wanted you to let him do the chemistry independent study.”
“Oh, the Brooks boy. Yes, I sensed power there. And it’s not diluted. Interesting... or it would be, if he weren’t male. As it is, I see it as only another tool with which he can dominate. I think I warned you to stay away from him, didn’t I?”
“Hmmm.” I was non-committal in my response, and she cut me a sharp glance before resuming her story.
“I was sufficiently intrigued by what I sensed in you to do some investigating. Meanwhile, though, Nell was becoming more and more of a problem. Some of the girls actually complained to me about her, express
ed concern about her state of mind. I had begun to have my own worries, and this only intensified. Nell became more possessive and jealous of me.”
“As opposed to the open arms and love I was getting from her,” I observed sarcastically.
“Yes. Nell never hid her feelings about you. I assumed that it was because she didn’t want to share my attention with anyone else. By that time, of course, I had disclosed to Nell that I thought she was the one. My daughter’s mystical twin. She was... thrilled. In retrospect, I see that I was fulfilling her deep-seated mother needs; in her mind, I was the replacement for the woman who had proven too weak.”
I shifted in my chair, glancing surreptitiously at the clock. We were nearing the end of the class period, and I didn’t feel I had learned anything new today.
Ms. Lacusta noticed my clock-checking and sighed ruefully. “I know. And I’m stalling. But this is more difficult than I had anticipated.”
I was mystified. “You mean remembering everything with Nell?”
“Certainly that. But I’m avoiding sharing the crux of the matter with you, and that’s not like me.” She seemed almost nervous as she licked her lips.
“The unpleasantness truly began when I had to tell Nell that I had been wrong. Despite all the signs, she wasn’t the one.”
My mouth dropped. Knowing Nell’s history, and now hearing the inside details of everything that had happened last year, I couldn’t imagine what Nell’s response to that kind of betrayal might have been.
“How did you know? What did she do?”
Ms. Lacusta chose to answer my second question first. “You know what she did. She became obsessed with convincing me that I was wrong, that in fact she was the chosen one. And to that end, she decided to perform a blood ritual, to release her true power and her true self. I don’t know if she had always had that in mind for Amber, but I suspect that she did. Nell’s plans were usually quite… concrete.”
I shivered, and in my mind I was back in the clearing, hearing Amber’s desperate panic as Michael and I raced to save her.
King 02 - Breathless Page 17
