Michael was looking from Cathryn to me, a small frown playing around his eyes.
“It was good to see you, Cathryn. Tas is a little chilly, so we’re going to head back in and grab something to eat. See you later.” He deftly steered me around her, and we were nearly to the glass doors before I realized that she had neither replied nor moved.
“What was that all about?” Michael demanded once we were back at our small round table.
“What do you mean?” I wanted to know what he had picked up before I said anything.
“She looked at you like—I don’t know, there was just a really odd moment back there. It was almost like you two were talking—but not out loud.”
I sighed heavily. “Not me. I couldn’t even hear anything from her. What’s her story?”
Michael shrugged. “I told you pretty much all I know about her. She’s a senior, botany major, comes from somewhere up north, I think. We’ve talked a few times waiting for class to start. Nothing big. You really couldn’t hear her?”
“No. It always makes me a little uneasy when I don’t get anything from someone.”
“Is it like a black hole? Just a void?” he asked, teasing me a little.
“Sometimes, but not with her. It was like some kind of interference. Really weird.” I shook my head.
Michael took my hand and brought it to his lips. “Forget about it. You never have to see her again. By the time you get up here next year, she’ll have graduated and gone.”
I smiled into his eyes, sinking into the depth of his love. I could feel his longing, and it echoed my own.
With a quick mischievous wink my only warning, Michael scooped me out of the chair and into his lap. “I don’t want to let you out of my arms for even a minute,” he murmured against my lips before kissing me senseless. All thoughts of the mysterious Cathryn were gone, and I was wholly consumed in him.
When we came up for air, I let my head loll against his shoulder, reveling in the intimacy of body and mind. I could hear his every thought, every small sweet murmuring.
“Is this what it’ll be like when I’m up here with you?” I whispered.
He chuckled and tightened his hold on me. “Of course. All the time.”
I laughed, too. “I’ll flunk out then. Hard to do homework or go to class when I don’t want to be even an inch away from you.”
Michael lowered his head and rested his forehead against mine. His smile faded as his eyes bored into me.
“I love you, Tasmyn. Being away from you—it’s like missing a part of my body. I’m only whole when we’re together.”
As always, he robbed me of breath. My heart pounded, and I couldn’t tear my gaze from his.
Instead I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his lips back to mine.
Tawdra Thompson Kandle lives in central Florida with her husband, children, cats and dog. She loves homeschooling, cooking, traveling and reading, not necessarily in that order. And yes, she has purple hair.
Restless
By
Tawdra T. Kandle
When she agrees to allow Ms. Lacusta to help develop her powers, Tasmyn has no idea how deep and dark the journey will become. Trapped between fascination and fear, she moves farther away from friends and family, even her boyfriend Michael. Leading a double life forces Tas into decisions that will threaten her sanity and her future… and the very lives of those she
…
I was miserable.
I should have been supremely happy. It was Christmas in Florida, and just chilly enough to be seasonal, although of course there wasn’t any snow on the ground and the sun shone brightly through the rustling palm fronds. King High School, where I was a senior, was closed for the holiday, and our teachers had mercifully assigned nothing over the break.
Best of all, Michael was home. His classes had ended in early December, and I’d had him to myself for a week already. He would return to Perriman College after the new year began, but that was still weeks away. It was a slow time at the nursery that his family owned—and where I worked after school—so we had hours of uninterrupted time to walk, talk. . .to be together.
And I was miserable.
Oh, I did a good job of hiding it. When I was with Michael, I was the epitome of a perfect girlfriend. We laughed and talked about silly, inconsequential things. Part of me was simply resting in the peace of being with him.
But another part of me was constantly distracted. I wondered what Marica was doing, and I itched to stretch my newfound muscles of power and concentration. I was torn in two pieces: the old Tasmyn who only really lived when Michael was near, and this new and foreign me who was somehow able to manage a double life. I floundered between the two, unable to find peace with either one.
My former chemistry teacher and current mentor, Marica Lacusta, had suggested this break during the Christmas holidays. She knew that with Michael home, I would have very little opportunity to spend time working with her. At first, I was relieved; I had wondered how I would manage to explain huge chunks of missing time to Michael. But now I was restless, unable to stop thinking about her.
“Where are you?” As if sensing my preoccupation, Michael reached over and squeezed my shoulder. “Earth to Tasmyn…”
I forced a smile and shook my head to clear it. “Sorry. Just… I don’t know. A thousand miles away.”
“Can I come along?” His face was close to mine, lips hovering inches from my ear.
“Of course. Actually, I was thinking about—college. Next year,” I lied and that old Tasmyn was appalled. I never lied to Michael. Keeping secrets from him as I’d been forced to do earlier this fall almost crushed me. Yet now I was telling him total fabrications without blinking.
We were sitting in the swing on the deck at his parents’ house, enjoying the warmth of the sunshine and the cool of the late afternoon air. Michael had his arm draped around my shoulders as we lazily moved the swing back and forth.
He brushed the hair away from my face with his free hand. “You aren’t worried, are you? I think you’re going to love Perriman.”
“No, not really. I liked what I saw last month, and it’ll be a good fit for me academically.”
“Then what? You have that frown, that crinkled brow. I know something’s bothering you.”
I shrugged. “It’s just change. The unknown, I guess.”
Here we go again. Something’s wrong. She’s shutting me out and… now I bet she’s hearing me.
I averted my eyes so that he couldn’t read the pain there. It was almost impossible for me to avoid hearing Michael’s thoughts. Somehow my connection to him was stronger than with anyone else I’d ever met. Even Marica… when she lowered her guard and allowed me to hear her, it wasn’t always clear. With Michael, it was as though his thoughts were my own.
“Hey.” He pulled away and sat up, tipping up my chin with his fingers so that I couldn’t hide my eyes. “What’s going on? I know you just heard me.”
“I’m sorry,” I apologized and hated that I had to do it.
“What are your sorry for? For shutting me out, or for hearing me think about it?”
I leaned away, scooting to the other corner of the swing. “Both, I guess.”
Michael dropped his hand away from my face and sighed. “You know you don’t have to worry about hearing me. I’m used to it. I expect it. But you have to understand how frustrating it is that you don’t have to guess what’s going on in my mind while I don’t have that same advantage.”
“I tell you everything,” I protested feebly and—to my own ears, at least—somewhat unconvincingly.
“Maybe you do, most of the time,” Michael allowed. “But sometimes I think—I worry—that you justify hiding things because you think you’re protecting me. Like you did with your parents, when you first moved here and everything was happening with Nell. Like you did with me, this past fall.”
“I can’t believe you’re bringing that up again!” Close to tears, I jumped up and st
alked across the deck to the railing. “I thought we were over that.”
“It never really crossed my mind again until these past few days. You’ve felt so… distant. So removed from me. It makes me wonder what I don’t know this time.”
“So you’re saying you can’t trust me?” I could barely choke out the words over the lump in my throat, and tears were trickling down my cheeks.
Michael was silent. I felt turmoil coming from him, but I didn’t turn around.
Then I heard him.
I don’t know if I can. I never thought—after all we’ve gone through—but now it feels like she’s not really here with me, not totally…
And fleetingly, so softly below the surface of his conscious thoughts, almost lost among the confused jumble of his subconscious, I heard what I’d always somehow dreaded hearing from him.
Was I wrong? To push her, to pursue her? Is THIS wrong? Are we not really meant to be?
I gripped the wooden railing until the splinters dug into my palms. My heart pounded in my ears, drowning out anything else from Michael’s mind. For a moment the world spun, and I couldn’t breathe.
Michael came up behind me, apparently oblivious to my anguish. He threaded his arms under mine and pulled me back against him. My fingers, still tight on the railing, stung as they scraped across the wood.
“Of course I can trust you,” he whispered, answering my earlier question. “We’re both dealing with a lot of change, with me being away and everything that happened this fall with the Pryces. We knew there’d be adjustments. I don’t want you to think there’s anything you can’t tell me, anything that I won’t understand.”
Oh, I’d like to test that theory, the new and brash Tasmyn thought wryly. The old me was still too stunned and shaken to take in anything Michael was saying.
I forced myself to relax against him, laying my head on his chest and feeling his chin rub softly on the top of my hair. He took that as agreement, and I didn’t have to say a word.
But I already knew what I had to do.
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