Nathaniel hung his head. “I know and I had every intention of being faithful to her, but we can’t be together. It’s because I’m her protector that I had to do this.” He told Marcus of the injuries he caused Tianna and the basic theme of his nightmare and resulting fears. He ended his story with, “I love her. I can’t risk killing her. We just can’t be together any more. It isn’t safe for her.” Tears formed in his eyes. “I didn’t plan on being with Raven and I don’t know how I’ll ever take away the hurt I caused Tianna when she saw us together.”
“If you had come to me, we could have found a way to try to address your fears. Now, the damage has been done and there are wounds that just can’t be fixed. She’s in love with you and you just ripped her heart out.” He tried to take a calming breath. His fists were now clenched so tight, blood was starting to appear. “I want nothing better to do right now than to beat you within an inch of your life.”
Nathaniel stared up into Marcus’ eyes. “I wish you would. I wouldn’t fight you. I don’t think any amount of physical pain will take away the pain in my heart.”
“We’re leaving within the hour and I would rather you not come with us, but you’re a member of my quest. Be ready or I’ll leave without you.” Marcus turned to leave but then stopped and said, “If you’re continuing with us, I don’t want you going near Tianna. I’d also highly recommend you stay very far away from Gabriel.” Marcus slammed the door as he left.
When Samuel and Charles arrived at Raven’s hut wondering what all of the commotion was about, Raven told them what had happened, but the Draaks were initially confused since it was common for Sett-mates to share their beds. Nathaniel had to explain the situation from Tianna’s perspective. After a long debate, they decided it was best if they traveled on separately from Marcus’ group. They planned to leave later that day and fly the rest of the way to Haven.
Raven tried desperately to convince Nathaniel to travel with her, but he refused. He told her that he had a job to do and he wasn’t going to walk away from his duties. In reality, his dragon was disgusted by what he had done and wanted as far away from her as he could get.
Within an hour, Marcus’ group was assembled and mounted on their horses. As Marcus gave his final goodbyes to the village, Nathaniel walked around the corner with Raven trailing behind him.
Raven pulled Nathaniel over to her and gave him a kiss on his cheek. She rubbed his arm and said sweetly, “Travel safe and I’ll see you soon in Haven. I’ll be at the gate waiting for you.”
Nathaniel mounted his horse in silence.
As Raven turned to walk away, she gave Tianna a sympathetic smile. Tianna quickly averted her eyes. Seeing them approach together had shattered the remaining pieces of her heart.
Nathaniel walked his horse forward to join his traveling group, not looking at anyone. Gabriel snarled, turned his horse, and headed toward Nathaniel. The look in his eyes was pure rage.
Tianna leaned over and quickly grabbed his reins as he started to pass her. She shook her head adamantly and said, “Please, leave him.”
Seeing the pleading in her eyes, Gabriel had to obey. He said to Tianna while glaring at Nathaniel, “For you, anything. He just better not get within punching distance.” He turned and stared into Tianna’s eyes, which were red and puffy. “However, if you change your mind, just say the word.”
The members of the quest left the village of Semora behind and started their final leg toward Haven.
Chapter 25 - Another Beginning
They traveled in complete silence. A couple of times Nathaniel made a move like he was going to try to talk to Tianna, but Gabriel cut him off with a look that caused a chill to run up his spine.
When Nathaniel initially announced his relationship with Tianna, Gabriel had warned him that if he hurt her, he would feel his wrath. Gabriel had promised Tianna not to hurt Nathaniel, but he was finding it exceptionally difficult to keep his word when he kept seeing Tianna’s constant pain.
Whenever he pleaded with her, however, she remained firm in her resolve and said, “As I’ve been told before, fate is guiding my path. This must be the way it’s meant to be and I’m supposed to face my future alone.” She rode away, her mind and body numb.
As much as Gabriel cared for Tianna, he knew in his heart that this wasn’t the way it was supposed to be. He could still feel overwhelming love coming from Nathaniel, but it was now mixed with fear and absolute despair.
They stopped for the night and attempted their normal routine. Tianna secured the camp and Gabriel gave Seth a lesson in knife throwing. A couple of times knives flew dangerously close to Nathaniel’s head. Gabriel would always give him an insincere apology and said it slipped. Gabriel never slipped. Nathaniel didn’t say anything.
Tianna refused to eat anything. She did find the Fire Wine, but even her sense of taste and smell were off and the wine didn’t affect her.
When they laid down for the night, Tianna unpacked her bedroll and crawled in alone. Within seconds, she got out of bed and quickly wadded up her bed. Her bedroll was the one that Nathaniel had given her as a gift and it smelled of his scent. She knew she would never be able to sleep in it again and contemplated throwing it into the fire. Instead, she walked over to her saddle bag and crammed it back in. She returned to the fire and stood quietly, not sure what to do.
Gabriel answered the question for her by taking her hand and leading her to his bed. She quickly crawled under the covers. Once Gabriel was lying down, she turned toward him and gave him a kiss saying, “Thank you for being there for me.”
Gabriel kissed her on her forehead and gave her a very long hug. Tianna tucked her face into his chest so she could feel the rhythm of his heart. When he started to put his arm over her, Tianna grabbed his hand and guided it under her shirt and told him to press it tightly against her back. He knew she, like Nathaniel, needed touch. Gabriel was happy to offer his services and rubbed her back until she fell asleep.
They played out the same routine the next day with Tianna still refusing all meals. Marcus thought that maybe touching nature would help, so after their mid-day meal, he insisted that everyone take some time to stretch their wings.
After watching everyone fully shift and take to the skies, Marcus approached Tianna. “Go climb into your trees.” When she didn’t move, he guided her to the nearest tree and insisted, “Go stretch your wings, little tree bug.”
Tianna climbed to one of the highest branches and settled in. She wasn’t in the mood to play so she just sat and watched the dragon’s fly through the air, wishing that she had the ability to just fly away from it all. When it was time to continue their journey, to everyone’s surprise, Tianna came back down without a fight or even being requested. Although everyone felt a little better after their break, Tianna remained sullen and quiet. Nothing seemed to be able to break through her depression and sense of loss.
On their third day when Tianna again walked away from her untouched plate, Marcus pulled her to the side and commanded, “You must eat and drink. You’re becoming weak.”
She shook her head stubbornly. “I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about me anymore. From here on out, I can take care of myself. I’ll eat when I’m ready.” She angrily walked away, staggering badly.
Marcus grabbed her arm. Her despair was making her bitter and stupid. As the leader of the quest, he needed to take charge of the situation. He knew that she was going to continue her fasting until she passed out or worse. He growled at her and forced her back to the fire, roughly forcing her down.
Marcus motioned Gabriel over. “Come and sit next to her. Don’t let her move.”
As Gabriel stood, so did Nathaniel. Nathaniel had an idea of what was about to happen so he quickly walked away. He wanted to try to make it easier on her by removing himself from her sight.
Gabriel sat next to Tianna while Marcus fixed her a plate of food. She tried to get up several times, but Gabriel forced her back down. Tianna’s temper was starting to flare.<
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Marcus returned shortly with food and a large goblet of water. He handed the items to Gabriel, saying. “You’re in charge. I order you to make sure she drinks all of this and eats every bite.”
“Consider it done.” Gabriel gave him a sitting bow. Gabriel took his orders seriously and turned to Tianna with a very determined look on his face, saying “We can do this the easy way or the hard way, your choice.”
Tianna started to give excuses but quickly stopped when his eyes flashed and she heard a low growl coming from his chest. She roughly took the plate and began to play with the food, glaring at Gabriel the whole time.
He knew that she hurt inside but she needed to eat or they were going to have other, more serious issues to deal with. He sighed. “You can play with your food all you want, but we’re not leaving this spot until you eat every bite. Either you eat on your own or I’ll take the matter into my own hands.”
She got her own equally determined look on her face as she continued to stubbornly play with the food, not taking a bite. She knew his threat was meaningless. He wouldn’t do anything to her. When Tianna felt the tingling of a burst of power from Gabriel’s anger, she followed his lead and called on her Faye within. She tried to cause power to pulse from her body.
Gabriel felt a tingle but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “Nice try, but not good enough. You’re already too weak to use your own powers.”
Knowing he was right just made Tianna angrier and she gave him a smirk while defiantly tossing her food into a nearby bush.
She was behaving like a child who was testing the will of her parents. She forgot that Gabriel had a large family and stubborn children were his specialty. He rolled his eyes. “Okay, you want to do this the hard way. That’s fine with me.”
Gabriel surprised everyone when he grabbed Tianna and pulled her roughly over his knee. He gave her a hard swat on her butt and then forced her to sit between his legs. He wrapped his legs around her so she was trapped. Marcus instantly appeared with a new plate of food. Gabriel took the plate and forced Tianna to hold it in front of her. When she still didn’t take a bite, he fed her from his fingers, forcing her to eat.
He whispered in her ear, “I once had to encourage my son Aryyn to eat a meal. I had to redo my encouragement several times over many hours before he finally ate everything on his plate. He didn’t sit comfortably for days. Don’t test me. For. You. Will. Not. Win.”
When she realized that he planned to force the issue, whether she liked it or not, she motioned his hand back and began to eat and drink on her own.
He continued to hold her in place and watched her closely until every bit of food and drink was gone. He then took the plate back and set it on the ground next to him. He released his hold and leaned in and whispered, “Thank you,” and gave her a gentle kiss on her neck.
She sighed and leaned into his kiss. When he started to move away, she quickly turned around and threw her arms around him, tucking her face into his neck. She held on tight, breathing in his scent to calm her nerves, and said with pure sincerity, “I’m sorry. You’re my best friend and I don’t know what I would do without you.”
He was very touched by her words. He held her in his arms, rubbing her back until she chose to release him. When she finally stood, he watched her walk away while rubbing her backside. He knew she wasn’t going refuse to eat again.
A few days later, Nathaniel approached Gabriel about being allowed to speak with Tianna. Gabriel growled and without hesitation said, “No.”
Tianna overheard their exchange and said, “It’s okay. I think Nathaniel and I need to talk.” Tianna gazed into Nathaniel’s eyes for the first time since she stared at the stranger she saw in Raven’s bed. She led Nathaniel to the trees at the edge of their camp. “Okay, talk,” she said, holding back all emotion.
Nathaniel fidgeted. “First, I want to tell you just how sorry I am. I never meant for you to see me with Raven. If it matters, I don’t love her.”
Tianna clenched her teeth. “And that’s supposed to make me feel better? You left my bed to take the bed of someone you don’t care about?”
She had the completely wrong idea and his frustration grew. “No, I didn’t leave you for Raven. I never intended to end up in her bed and I’ll regret my actions for the rest of my life.”
Tianna rolled her eyes. “I left you alone for only a couple of hours and somehow you just ended up in Raven’s arms?” She glared at Nathaniel and wondered. He had been distant from the moment Raven had joined their camp. She asked, not sure if she wanted to hear his answer, “Were you involved with her the whole time she was with us?”
He shook his head. “Just the one time and I never touched her again.”
Tianna hung her head, “Once, twice, ten times. I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
He wanted to tell her the whole story; the dream, his inner fear of losing control, everything. He took in a deep breath and started to explain. “You need to understand why I ended up in her bed.”
Tianna’s anger flared and she interrupted before he could continue. “I know why you did it. I’m not Draak enough for you. I know you care for me but my mixed blood isn’t what you’re searching for. I should’ve listened to my instincts. One female isn’t enough for you, especially not an inexperienced partial Draak who loves trees. I guess I’m never going to be a good Draak. I can’t handle sharing the one I love with others. It goes against everything I feel inside. Raven is a beautiful full-blooded Draak from your Sett and someone you’ve known all of your life. She’s a good match for you. I won’t stand in your way. I’ve always known that I wasn’t meant to have a family. I had started to convince myself that it might be possible, so I guess I should thank you for reminding me to get my head out of the clouds and accept myself for what I am. I guarantee that I won’t make that mistake again.”
Nathaniel put his hands up to take her into his arms but then stopped himself, knowing he shouldn’t touch her. “You’re so wrong. I desire only you and still want you as my mate, but it can’t be. I’m full Draak and you aren’t. My dragon wants you so badly, I’m not sure I can control him around you anymore. A mating between us could cost you your life. You witnessed what it’s like to mate as a dragon. If I were to lose control, I would rip you apart. You can’t shift to protect yourself. Your body just couldn’t handle it.” He shivered at the images that appeared in his mind. “I would die if I hurt you.”
Tianna was furious now. “Hurt me! I don’t think you could’ve found a better way to hurt me. Why didn’t you just tell me all of this before you went and bedded Raven? We could’ve talked it out.”
“You’re right. I should’ve talked to you. I wanted to and started to several times but, when I stared in your eyes, I just couldn’t do it. I love you too much to tell you I couldn’t ever be intimate with you.”
Tianna clenched her fist and punched him in the chin as hard as she could. She hit him with enough force that he fell backwards and landed on his back. She stormed over, stood over him, and yelled, “Don’t you dare speak to me of love. You have no idea what love is. No one does this to someone they care about. Worst part is, I still love you with all of my heart and I probably always will.”
Her fist was still clenched and Nathaniel could see that her knuckles were cut and bleeding. Given the look, odds were she broke something. Nathaniel reached up to touch her hand with his blue fire. “You’re hurt. Please let me fix it.”
Tianna jerked her hand way. She knew she broke her hand and it hurt badly but she didn’t want him to heal her. “Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again. Once we get to Haven, I don’t ever want to see you again.”
Tianna turned and walked away, leaving Nathaniel sitting on the ground.
Gabriel met her half way back and said, “Nice right hook.”
She smiled up at him but with anger in her eyes.
He examined her hand closely. “Nathaniel is right. You did hurt yourself. I think it’s broken
.”
Nathaniel managed to get up off the ground and was following them back to the camp rubbing his chin.
Gabriel’s fury for Nathaniel hit its peak. When Nathaniel was just about to pass him, Gabriel left Tianna’s side and blocked Nathaniel’s path. Without saying a word, Gabriel gave him his version of a right hook and Nathaniel went down again, hard.
Gabriel walked back to Tianna. “See how I moved my arm when I hit him. You dropped your elbow and bent your wrist a little. You need to keep your elbow up and wrist locked for stronger impact. Maybe we’ll get to practice again. Nathaniel makes an excellent subject.” He glared at Nathaniel.
Tianna tried to chuckle but it didn’t quite come out right. It sounded more like a snort. Gabriel laughed.
Nathaniel managed to stand but was very wobbly.
Tianna got an evil look in her eye. “I think I can do better.” She reached down with her good hand and touched the ground. Suddenly a large branch swung over their heads and hit Nathaniel in the center of his chest with a loud crack. Nathaniel went flying and hit the ground with a thump.
Unquiet Slumber Page 34
