by Lin Oliver
“Um . . . it was . . .” She hesitated, then blurted out the truth. “It was Nicky.”
“Nicky? As in my brother Nicky?” Brooke couldn’t believe what she was hearing.
Jillian nodded sheepishly.
“He’s not supposed to go around kissing my friends,” Brooke said. “Wait until I talk to him about this. I’m going to tell Mom and Dad, too. He will be so grounded.”
“You can’t do that, Brooke,” I said. “Whatever we say here, stays here.”
I felt a little guilty stealing that line from Truth Tellers. It was their motto and not ours, but it was a good one.
“We have to move on, anyway,” Lauren said. “It’s getting too cold out here. Charlie, you’re next.”
She took the talking stick from Jillian and handed it to me.
“This is your question,” she began. “Can you tell us one thing you promised never to tell?”
That caught me totally by surprise.
“Wait a minute,” I said. “I thought these questions were supposed to be about us.”
“This is about you,” Lauren said. “It’s about how much you trust us—not only with your own secrets but with someone else’s.”
“Okay,” I said. “My mom colors her hair.”
“Well of course she does,” Lauren snapped. “All our moms do. Come on, Charlie. You can do better than that. It’s not fair—everyone else has shared a real secret. You’re going to have to trust us, too.”
Of course, the first thing that popped into my mind was the most recent secret that had been shared with me—the secret of Sara Berlin’s terrible protruding ears. But I couldn’t tell that.
But I had nothing else to say. And everyone was staring at me.
“I . . . I . . . do have one, but I can’t tell you. I promised.”
“If we can’t trust you to answer the question truthfully, how can we trust you to be one of us?” Lauren asked.
The only thing I could do was repeat what I had already said.
“But I made a promise.” I could hear myself saying it more weakly.
“Isn’t the promise you made to us more important?” Lauren asked.
I looked at the faces of my friends. They were all waiting for an answer and part of me felt I owed them one. It couldn’t have been easy for Brooke to tell us that her real father had been in jail. Or for Jillian to confess that she had kissed Brooke’s brother—and given him a bloody nose. Or for Lily to say that her twin brother had died at birth. All of that took a lot of bravery.
But then I thought about Sara Berlin and how her eyes had filled with tears when she even tried to talk about her ears. It had caused her such pain, for so many years. She had trusted all of us with a secret, a secret we promised to keep.
“Charlie, we’re waiting,” Lauren said.
I sat there listening to the waves crash on the rocks. Out over the ocean, I could make out the silhouette of a brown pelican flying low over the water. I watched as he circled around, and then suddenly dived into the water. When he came up, he had a fish in his beak. I could see the poor little fish thrashing, trying to get free, but the pelican held on tight.
As I sat in the circle, the unanswered question looming over me like a black cloud, I felt like that poor fish, squirming and wriggling, trying to find a way to break free to safety.
“I don’t think Charlie should have to answer if she doesn’t want to,” Lily said at last, breaking the silence.
I felt a huge wave of relief sweeping over me. But it didn’t last long.
“I don’t think that’s fair, Lily,” Brooke said. “Each of us answered our question. Why should Charlie get off without answering hers?”
“Because her question involves another person,” Lily said.
“Oh, and my story didn’t?” Jillian said. “I seem to remember spilling the beans about a certain someone’s brother named Nick.”
“I still can’t believe you kissed him,” Brooke groaned.
“I have made my decision,” Lauren said. “Charlie, we’ve all shared difficult things. That’s what will bond us as sisters. You need to show that you trust us and answer the question. Waves, if you agree with me, raise your hand.”
Everyone raised their hand but Lily. There it was—the decision. No more stalling. If I wanted to be in the Junior Waves, I had to answer the question. I hated to. But I also couldn’t stand the thought of everyone being in the club but me. I hated the idea of not sitting with them at the football games. Most of all, I never wanted to feel left out again.
So I took a breath and plunged in.
“Remember the other day, when Sammie wouldn’t let us in my room?” I began. “Well, it’s because she was in there with Alicia and Sara Berlin, trying to come up with a new look for Sara. They were doing different things with her hair, and then taking before and after pictures.”
“So what’s the big secret?” Jillian asked. “You can see a makeover every day on TV.”
“They were trying to help Sara cover up something that she’s ashamed of,” I explained, still trying to respect her privacy and not mention the real problem. I stopped, hoping they would leave it at that. I should have known better.
“What’s she so ashamed of?” Lauren asked.
I hesitated.
“Her ears,” I said at last.
“What’s wrong with her ears?” Brooke said. “Is she like missing them or something?”
“They protrude,” I answered. “A lot. Kids have been teasing her about it ever since she was little. Calling her Dumbo and stuff.”
“I knew this boy in my Sunday school class whose ears stuck out so far they looked like tea cups,” Jillian said. “We called him Mr. Potato Head until the teacher overheard us and sent us to have a talk with Pastor Clarke. We got in big trouble. He called our parents and everything.”
“Sara says she’s suffered with that kind of teasing all her life,” I said. “It’s really affected her self-esteem.”
“Of course it would,” Lily said. “Were Sammie and Alicia able to help her?”
“They’re working on it,” I said. “They’ve tried telling her to forget the teasing; that her real friends like her for who she is, not the way she looks.”
Lauren laughed. “Yeah, right.”
“So they took pictures of her the way she really looks with her hair pulled back and her ears sticking out,” I continued, trying to ignore Lauren’s remark. “Then they put things like scarves and headbands and hats on her and took another picture, to see if it looks good.”
“So there are pictures of her real ears and everything?” Lauren asked. “Could we see them?”
“Why do you need to see them? I told you the truth.”
“Oh, I don’t need to,” Lauren said. “It would just be fun. You know, like seeing a bearded lady at the circus. It’s interesting in a creepy kind of way.”
I handed the talking stick back to Lauren. I’m sure she didn’t intend to compare Sara to a bearded lady in the circus, but even if she hadn’t meant to, it sounded pretty harsh. I was done with this conversation. Fortunately, the orange streaks in the sky were dimming and night was quickly approaching.
“It’s really late,” Brooke said. “We should hurry up and do Lauren’s question. Who gets to ask it?”
“I will,” Lily said. “I have a good one. Lauren, what is the one thing you want most in the world?”
I was amazed that Lauren didn’t even stop to think about it. The answer was on the tip of her tongue.
“To be the most popular girl in high school,” she said.
“Why not the most popular girl in middle school?” Jillian asked.
“Obviously, because I already am. I want to be just like Bethany,” she went on. “She has a hot boyfriend, a closet full of great clothes, and a ton of friends. My mom says she
thinks she’s got Prom Queen in the bag.”
Suddenly, my phone, which was still sitting in the middle of our circle, rang. I looked at who was calling.
“It’s Ryan,” I said.
“Tell him I say hi,” Lauren squealed.
“Where are you, Charles?” Ryan said, without bothering to say hello. “Jillian’s mom is here to pick her up and so is Lily’s dad. By the way, Lauren’s very hot cousin is here to take her home. Anyway, they all want you guys back immediately, if not sooner.”
“We’ll be right there,” I said. “We’re almost done.”
“Done with what?”
Oops.
“Uh . . . uh . . . nothing.”
“So let me get this straight,” he said. “You’re almost done doing nothing? How does that work exactly?”
“It’s totally logical, Ryan.”
“Okay, if you say so. Oh, and don’t bother coming home,” he said. “I’ll have the ambulance come and take you directly to the nuthouse.”
Then he did his crazy zombie laugh and hung up.
“We better get going,” I said.
“First, everyone stand up and raise your right hand,” Lauren commanded. We did. “Do you swear to stay true to the sisters of the Junior Waves?” she asked. “And to always remember this night?”
“I do,” we answered in unison.
“Then I now declare us officially initiated. Congratulations to us all!”
We took off our white shirts and headbands and packed them into the laundry bag. Walking back along the sand, everyone was quiet. I think the ceremony had affected us all in different ways. There was a lot to think about.
By the time we reached the deck, my dad had come out of the clubhouse and was standing next to Bethany.
“I assumed you’d be back by dinnertime,” he said.
“We were just hanging out on the beach,” I answered.
“After dark? Does that sound like good judgment? Because it doesn’t to me.”
“Go easy on them, Coach,” Bethany said. “I did the same kind of stuff when I was their age. And look how I turned out!”
“I’m going inside,” my dad said. “And Charlie, be more considerate next time. Ryan, come with me. It’s your night to do dishes.”
“I asked your mom if I could come along to pick you up,” Bethany told Lauren after Brooke and Jillian had left. “She went inside the club to get something. So, how did it go? I’m dying to find out.”
“It was amazing,” Lily said.
“Not to brag or anything,” Lauren added, “but I think I conducted a perfect initiation ceremony.”
“It was so powerful and raw,” I agreed, feeling pretty proud of those words.
“We shared deep secrets,” Lily said. “We’re so close now.”
Bethany’s face lit up.
“Like what?” she said. “I love deep secrets?”
“We can’t say,” I told her. “We took an oath.”
Bethany laughed.
“Charlie, you seem to forget who you’re talking to. It’s me, Bethany. Remember? The one who helped you start your little club. Let me remind you that you owe this all to me, and I want to know what was going on out there.”
“We can’t say,” Lily said. “And actually, it wasn’t even all that interesting.”
“You’re lying,” Bethany snapped. “Since when are powerful and raw not interesting? Lauren, if these other girls won’t tell me what was going on, I assume you will . . . after all I’ve done for you.”
“Sorry, Beth, I can’t,” Lauren said.
“Fine,” Bethany said. “You girls are impossible. Let’s just get in the car and I’ll take you home. You need a lift, Lily?”
“Thanks, but my dad’s waiting outside.”
Lily and I gave each other a big hug.
“Charlie,” my dad yelled from inside, “come in here and help Ryan dry the pots and pans.”
“Got to go,” I said. “Thanks for a wonderful night. See you tomorrow, Bethany.”
“You will?”
“Yeah, at the football game. We’re sitting with you guys, remember?”
“Oh right, we’re babysitting the middle-schoolers.”
“You just wait and see how cool we are,” Lauren said to her. “I promise, you’re going to take those words back.”
I went into the kitchen and picked up a dishtowel. Ryan was standing at the sink, attacking a frying pan with a scouring pad.
“These pots are murder to get clean,” Ryan said. “Sammie made herself an omelet, but she left most of it stuck to the pan. I can’t wait until Mom gets back and teaches her how to cook without making a total mess.”
When he was finished, I dried the frying pan and walked past the counter to put it away in the drawer underneath. I noticed Lauren’s notebook sitting on top of the counter. I knew it was hers—you couldn’t miss it because it’s hot pink and covered in silver-and-black zebra stickers. Zebras are her favorite animal.
“Oh, Lauren forgot her notebook,” I said. “Maybe I can catch her. I’ll be right back, Ry.”
I picked it up and ran outside, hoping she and Bethany hadn’t driven off yet. When I approached the gate, I heard their voices in the parking lot. For some reason, and I can’t tell you exactly why, I stopped and listened rather than pushing the gate open. Maybe I suspected what I was going to hear. Or maybe I’m just a big snoop. In any case, this is what I heard.
“And we all wore white shirts and sang “We Are the Champions” and then told each other our deepest secrets,” Lauren was saying.
“Like what?” Bethany whispered.
“I swore I wouldn’t tell,” Lauren said.
“Just tell me one.”
“If I do, can I come to your party?”
“Okay, but you better make it a good one then.”
“Can the other girls come, too?”
“Depends how juicy it is. Now, spill it.”
Lauren lowered her voice to whisper. I leaned closer to the gate so I could make out her words.
“How’s this?” she said. “Brooke’s dad isn’t her real dad. Her real dad was in jail for selling drugs and just got out.”
“Seriously?”
That did it. I couldn’t just stand there and let this happen! I pushed open the gate and there was Lauren, leaning on her mom’s car. Bethany was standing so close to her, they could have been hugging.
“Lauren!” I yelled. “What do you think you’re doing?”
She whirled around, and her face froze in shock.
“Charlie! What are you doing here?” she cried.
“I live here. And I overheard what you were saying.”
“What did you hear?”
“Enough to know that you’re telling Bethany our secrets. We took an oath, Lauren. It was your oath. I can’t believe you’re breaking it.”
Bethany came over and threw her gorgeous arm around me. I shook it off.
“Don’t touch me,” I said.
“Calm down. Lauren hardly told me anything. Just a little tidbit.”
“That’s not true,” I shouted. I was so mad I was shaking. “I heard her tell you about Brooke.”
“That was just one tiny little thing,” Lauren said. “I didn’t tell her anything else, did I, Beth?”
“Well, it’s not a tiny thing to Brooke,” I snarled. “How would you feel if someone told your deepest secret, just like it was nothing?”
“I’d feel fine,” Lauren answered. “Watch.” Then turning to Bethany, she said, “I stole an eye shadow from Bloomingdales.”
“What color?” Bethany asked.
“Terra cotta bronze.”
“Nice, but a little too shimmery,” was all Bethany had to say.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearin
g.
“Lauren, what you’ve just done goes against the whole idea of our trust ceremony,” I said. “We’re sisters. We have to trust one another, to be true to each other.”
“Listen up, Charlie Diamond. I am being true to the group!” Now Lauren was yelling. “All I did was tell Bethany one little thing, and in case you didn’t realize, it was for the good of the group. I got us all invited to her party Saturday night. That’s not called revealing a secret, Charlie. That’s called leadership.”
“Whoa there, girlfriend,” Bethany said. “When did I say everyone could come?”
Lauren gave her a smoldering look, and Bethany got the message.
“Okay,” she said. “You’re all invited. But you have to leave after the hat throwing.”
“See?” Lauren said to me. “No one got hurt. Bethany’s never going to tell anyone about Brooke, are you, Beth?”
Bethany held up her hand in the Girl Scout salute.
“Not a peep,” she said. “Scout’s honor.”
“And we all get to go to the party,” Lauren said matter-of-factly. “None of the girls will ever know about this, unless you tell them. Can we trust you not to tell, Charlie?”
Wait a minute! Since when did this become about me not telling? I wasn’t the one who proved she can’t keep a secret.
“I don’t like what happened here tonight,” I said. “I don’t feel good about it.”
“It’s really not as awful as you’re making it out to be,” Bethany said. “It was just a few words, and words don’t mean anything. So why don’t you go inside and chill. Everything’s going to look different tomorrow.”
“Tomorrow, as in the football game,” Lauren said to me. “Oh, and did I tell you, Spencer asked if he could sit with us.”
“With me or with us?”
“With you, of course. I told him he couldn’t since he’s not a Junior Wave. But because I’m looking out for you, I said I’d sit you at the end of our row so he can be next to you. He seemed pretty happy with that.”
What was I supposed to say to that? Everything’s okay now? Let’s just forgive and forget?
“Come on, girls,” Mrs. Wadsworth called, walking up to the car. “I have a hair appointment I don’t want to be late for.”
