"No!"
"I'm gonna buy it!"
"If you were gonna get it, you damn right you'd buy it! But you're not gonna get it."
"Shawn I need wheels man. I have things I need to do, places I have to be."
"Then go buy yourself a truck Jake!"
"I want that truck! Its the color I like. Fully loaded, tough and its almost new. Owned by my brother, who - if he really loved me, would find it in himself to gift his little brother with that truck."
"Every time you've wanted to use it, I've let you Jake, but I'm not selling it to you."
"I can't keep borrowing it Shawn! What if I need to go somewhere and stay the night or something."
"Where do you need to go and stay the night?" Shawn asked in a fatherly tone, that Jake didn't miss.
"Shawn, I'm a grown man! As fucked up as my life is, I do have some kind of plans for it."
"Yeah, the kind that will only fuck it up more."
"Just sell me the truck Shawn." Jake pleaded jabbing at the boiling noodles with a long handled wooden spoon, as his brother made quick work of browning the meatballs he made in record time. Jake made a face. "Look at you, perfect little housewife." He teased.
"You know what I have to say to that?" Shawn asked in his deepest voice, a reminder that he was no less a man.
"Fuck me?" Jake asked grinning.
"Yes, exactly... fuck you."
"And the truck?" Jake asked not at all phased by his brothers shot to him.
"I'll co-sign for you a truck." Shawn offered.
"Noooo, I can't be held to contracts and establishment obligations. All that, bureaucratic entanglement of credit and sending payments in through the bank. That shits a trap, want no part of it."
"Ach!" Shawn gasped and turned to him staring as they stood at the stove.
They could hear the kids over their head playing upstairs in Angela's room. She had her music going, obviously Darren and Isaac were dancing because they're little feet were stomping away. Both brother's eyed the ceiling/floor above their heads smiling at what must be going on up there. They could hear them laughing, Angela's soft voice instructing them, no doubt showing them dance steps.
Just then their mother came down the stairs, she wasn't in a happy mood. "Men are such assholes! I swear they are!" She complained to them. They looked at each other and then at her.
"Okay, what'd he do now?" Shawn asked continuing to cook, as he waited for Crystal to tell him, but first - "Grab some garlic bread out of the freezer for dinner, ovens already on, and make a salad please." He instructed.
Easily following his command, she went to the sink behind Jake where he leaned with his arms crossed and washed her hands explaining, "I called Victor to ask him about keeping the boys this weekend so that I could go out. I haven't been out in a while and my girlfriends have invited me. Mundo's got a set Saturday night and he invited us all to go. But Mr. ASSHOLE - won't keep his own freakin' sons! Talkin' that crap 'bout he's got plans! No doubt seeing that chick he's been chit chatting with at his folks home! I'm getting to a point, where I think - screw him. Just divorce his lily white ass, and kick him to the curb!"
Shawn and Jake looked at each other grinning. Neither one of them a bit offended by her term, lily white - because Crystal was someone who racially spoke her mind, she was straight out with it. She held no shyness or reservation towards making such comments toward black or white, so while both of them were white, as well her own,"Asshole" of a husband, she was simply speaking her mind and they smiled in the face of it listening.
"I see." Shawn replied wiping up the counter and washing the chopping board so she could use it.
"Papah, you think its wrong for me to want to go out?"
"Of course not. Fact of the matter, you should, show him you're not just sitting around here waiting for him to make his mind up."
"Thank you... I'm sick of crying over his ass! Hey - I know I'm guilty of doing wrong-..."
"What'd you do wrong?" Jake asked out of curiosity.
"She was beatin' his ass!" Shawn answered with a smile.
Jake looked from Shawn back to Crystal, such a sweet angelic little face, his expression that of amazement and surprise as he asked, "You were beatin' on your husband?!"
"Not all the time! I said I was sorry." She defended.
Jake bent forward laughing and shaking his head, leaning back upright he asked, "How many times you beat him up?"
"Not that much!" Crystal defended, rinsing the lettuce.
Shawn cut her a look that said, 'Excuse me?'
"Papah it wasn't that much - just when he got on my nerves."
"Well how much did he get on your nerves?" Jake asked.
"All the time." Shawn answered for her.
"Not all the time!" She defended.
"Tomorrow's your first appointment, don't forget, I'll be going with you." Shawn reminded her.
"Appointment for what?" Jake asked.
"Anger management." They answered him at the same time.
"What?! You got anger problems?! Is this you personally, or is this a black thing? More importantly, a black woman thing? I need to know!" Jake asked, Vivian on his mind.
Shawn was laughing again because he knew what his brother's reasons were for asking.
"All black women are not angry uncle Jake! Look at my mother for instance."
"She's mean!"
"My wife is not mean!" Shawn defended.
"She's harsh though. I'm beginning to think black women are rough, gruff-..."
"No we not, we just don't take too much shit!"
"That's what I'm talkin' about... a man needs a woman to take a little shit off him now and again." Jake commented.
Shawn shook his head, "Here we go... you just had to wind her up." He mumbled as sure enough, Crystal threw her hands on her hips exclaiming, "WHAT?! How you figure that? Why we, any woman for that matter, black or white, needs to take a little shit off a man? Tell me that?!"
"Because, its a known fact, at some point, a man is going to do something to mess up, shit happens, women need to be prepared to deal with that shit-..."
"Uh hang on there brother, speak for yourself." Shawn got in.
"Don't even try it, Mr. Domestic! Even you capable of some scandalous shit." Jake chided.
"Emm hmm." Crystal murmured, her head slanted towards Shawn as a reminder of the previous nights event.
"Don't look at me like that little girl... I explained that already and I told your mother."
"Who told you off!" Jake reminded him. "She left your ass and still don't take no shit, and she ain't even here!"
"She didn't tell me off." Shawn grumbled to him.
"Mama told you off?" Crystal asked surprised.
With the quirk of his mouth, much to his chagrin, he confessed, grumbling - "Well kind'ah."
"Kind'ah my ass! That's not what you told me!" Jake interjected.
"Alright alright - she told me off!"
Jake and Crystal snorted and snickered at each other, finding it funny.
"Ha ha ha - that's okay... I know where she is, going to get her too - you better believe it, and don't you warn her!" This he stated firmly pointing at Crystal.
"I wouldn't do that. I want her to get home. Think she'll keep the boys for me?" She asked hopefully, casting puppy dog eyes at him.
"NO! What are you thinking... we haven't even been on a honeymoon yet!"
"Mama's pregnant, ya'll been on ya'll honeymoon."
"Don't you worry about that. Just make sure you're here to take care of Angela for me until Friday after school, then take her to Derricks. Shanna's going to be staying with the whole lot of them for us."
Jake grinned enjoying watching the two. He loved living with Shawn and seeing him with Sylvia's kids. He knew that one day he would have to leave, but he was in no hurry. He was enjoying it too much to consider it. Yet he couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have his own home and a woman around that kept things lively and interesting.
Someone who kept you on your toes, surprising, shocking and pleasuring you all at the same time. Jake was beginning to see what the attraction was to black women. Why a few white men had crossed over to them. They were unpredictable, shocking, bold, honest, -in some cases- he amended his thoughts thinking about Edwina. Exciting, sexy, smart as hell, and most certainly not so simple to handle. He'd dated enough white women most of his life to know that there were many white women like that as well, but the elements, the ingredients that made up this type of woman was different coming from black women. They had a manner about them, a certain move, attitude and inflection in their speech and tone that either turned you on, or turned you off. The longer he was around them, he was beginning to see what the turn on was. They were a challenge. Even after obtaining them, the challenge was still there. Some white men he could imagine, gave up the challenge and walked away from them. Perhaps in the case of Crystal's husband. But others, like his brother - faced the challenge head on, no reservations, no fears, eager to meet his head on, in the next move of the competition. He was watching and learning. This new twist in his life was bringing a bit of excitement back in, despite the tragedy of Doris. Thinking of her, he wondered would the outcome have been the same had she been black? Would suicide have been an option then? Somehow, from what he'd observed so far, the conclusion he was compelled to reach, was no. That would not have been an option had she been black. Chances were, he might have been the one shot. The thought of that should have scared him, but instead it made him grin. What he was learning didn't turn him off from white women, but black women... they were a new game, a new challenge, an interesting and new prospect - yeah... he smiled, let the games begin.
"What the hell you grinnin' about?" Shawn shook him from his thoughts, seeing the look on his face, wondering what mental fantasy was swirling around in that head of his.
Jake grinned some more, turning to grab two pot holders to take the noodles off the boil, they were soft and ready for draining. He felt renewed, a surge of excitement for more to do with his life, and women. He couldn't help himself, nothing on earth that God had created would ever match the creation of women. Just when he thought he was bored with all he knew about them, here was another door opening for him. And like his brother, he was considering forging boldly onward into it, if Shawn could handle his, then he most certainly could handle one as well. He could already feel the thrill re-surging, just when he thought the thrill had been gone. He thought about that hour with Edwina, doing her had added a heightened sense of awareness to the act. Something about caressing her coco colored skin, knowing that he, a white male could make her squirm stunned and at times shocked him deep at the vigor of his sexual dominance. If she, someone he could give little a damn about could thrill him that way, he could only wonder at what awaited him with Vivian.
Only one problem with her... he did give a damn.
More than just a damn.
Chapter 115
They finished up the preparation of dinner still talking. Mundo came home, dropped off by one of his friends that he did mixing with. They were all crowded into the basement, enjoying the spaghetti dinner that turned out, fantastic. Everyone laughing and talking at once. Angela, the baby girl, doted on by all. Pairing up with Crystal when they got into a male versus female topic where Crystal could well hold her own against them. Jake observed his brother with a fixed smile on his face. Shawn caught it and flipped him the finger, because he knew what Jake was grinning about. 'The perfect little house wife.' Jake couldn't help his teasing grin as he looked at the table. Everything was laid out on the table just short of if a woman had done it. He reflected back to when they were all at home, back to their childhood. The present setting, pretty much matched the one back then. With him, Derrick, Shanna and Kathy Ann at the table starting to eat, while Shawn placed everything there within reach of them. Their parents off doing whatever it was they needed to do at any given time. He fussed about them to make sure all was right, and then cussed them out if they made one remark to un-man him. Again, Jake realized how much he loved his brother. How proud he was of him. Even though he no longer needed to compete with Shawn, at 39 years old, he still wanted to be like him.
Mundo asked to borrow the SUV Saturday night, and after a rigorously intense drilling from Shawn, he was granted permission. Happy, he left after washing his plate to head across the road and practice a new mix in the basement, creating a new soundtrack, which was his habit. Angela had to take a bit of correcting from her father for waiting until late in the evening to do her home work. While Crystal took the boys back across the road to bathe and get to bed. This Jake observed washing the dinner dishes as he waited for the house to be righted and they could resume their discussion once again over the truck. He heard Shawn coming down the stairs.
"Shawn... come on sell me that truck. I need a truck man, I'm gonna be making quite a few road trips." He started right off.
"To where?" Shawn stopped to ask. Looking around downstairs, without realizing it, he'd absorbed Sylvia's habit of scanning the house for things out of place.
"To Chicago okay. To Chicago. I can't keep borrowing the truck when I want to take off to there. I need to go, when I feel the need to go."
Shawn smiled, "And you've been feeling the need?" He asked as Jake dried his hands turning from the sink.
"Don't start Shawn. It's just that... I haven't seen her in over a week man. I just wanna... just... you know, check on her. Make sure she's alright. Last time I saw her, it was to pull this little Chinese fucker off of her, the sonofabitch had her down and was twisting her arm. I could have beat seven shades of shit out of him. Tell me, what kind of man, considers himself a man when he hits a woman? I mean, what possible satisfaction is there in that?" Jake spat in disdain.
"I know. Sylvia's first husband hit her."
"Where is he?"
"Dead... car accident. It's a good thing. I know he's the father of her kids, but I would never like to come face to face with him, I can tell you that now. It wouldn't be good."
"Yeah well, I'm not saying I'm going to be in a relationship with her, but... there's something about her - I told you already how I feel - I'm not gonna lie. And um... until I know for sure what I'm gonna do with myself, I need to be able to go there sometimes. Just to... see her."
"You mean to check up on her. To keep you fresh in her mind. Keep her from starting any new relationships. Show just enough of you to keep her wondering and unable to dismiss you. You need that truck to go mark your domain... piss around a few of her trees. To warn off any other Lions." Shawn laid it out.
Jake stared at him a moment silent, then nodded and said, "Yeah... what the hell... its like that - exactly."
Shawn stared at him a moment, inhaling deep he asked, "How much you gonna give me for it? I can't give it up cheap. Mundo needs a vehicle, and as you can see... I'm building my wife a bigger home."
"How much you pay for it." He asked.
"You don't wanna know."
"I can give you five thousand dollars on it as soon as I can get mom to withdraw my money from her account."
Shawn laughed, "You got mom keeping your money?"
Jake grinned. "She insisted. And its a good thing too that I don't have a banking account, or else there would be nothing in it. I've always given her so much to put in the bank for me. We made the arrangement back when I was 16, not long after you left. For every hundred I gave her, she would match it from my school money. Most of which has gone to paying for my boys college education since I never used it. Now, I have a nice little cache to fall back on. Hey... did you know that she still has yours?"
"What...?" Shawn asked stunned. "...they used that to buy my land and home across the way."
"Not all of it! Have you forgotten the interest that grew with that money? If I'm right, the interest alone bought that property. You have more money my brother. Don't say I told you, I think mom is keeping it back for you just in case of an emergency. Believe it or not, Kathy Ann ha
s gone through all of hers... nothing left - and she has two kids. That's why mom's so pissed with her and won't loan her any money. Shanna's using hers now, that's how she's paying for that mobile home and she's going to set up an 80 X 80 behind it, something she was going to talk to you about by the way. She says she wants to start herself an upholstery business."
"Wow... thanks... that's nice to know. I won't say anything."
"Well... is it a deal?" Jake asked.
"I'll sell you the truck for fifteen... its only a little over a year old and believe me, I paid much more for it than that."
"Hey... I know it. Got yourself a deal. How much you want monthly after paying five down."
"Jake I don't get it - you have five to pay down, why won't you just go through a dealer?"
"I want that truck." He said simply.
"Why my truck?" Shawn asked, he didn't get it.
"Because... it's... your truck... and I want it." Jake returned quietly.
Shawn stared a moment, afraid to ask him to explain why. As Shawn searched his eyes, he knew why, the close examination and insight worked to bring him down again, because once more he was reminded just how much Jake had needed him when they were younger. It brought home just how much he looked up to him, although he stood a few inches taller. Once again Shawn wished he could turn back the hands of time, and see that all the times Jake had gotten on his nerves, made him angry, making him beat him up, that he'd just grabbed his hand and taken him with him, fishing...or taken the time to teach him to box. He now wished he'd let him hang with him. He thought about his father just the other day, punching Jake and knocking him down, dazing him. Shawn had felt that punch, had known that punch. Tears had come to his eyes that no one noticed because they'd all been surrounding Jake. He'd been the first to grab him and lift him off the floor, fighting down a surge of anger towards his father.
His little brother who was taller than him, looked up to him, loved him... and wanted his truck. Shawn looked away because tears came to his eyes again - his heart beating with the power of his love for him.
BOMAW 4-6 Page 55
