by Randy Mixter
He saw Sarah dancing on a windy hill, and he saw her weaving a children’s story from thin air. He saw Sarah laughing at his bad jokes. He saw her smile, and he saw her tears.
She once came to him in a dream so long ago. He heard a song then too, and he still knew every note of it.
“Yes, I’ll remember the song,” Alex said, as Chick’s face lit up in a big silly grin. Chick was always happy when a bit of his wisdom took root. It simply did not happen often enough. He patted Alex’s shoulder for good measure and they continued their walk up Haight Street.
A MOMENT’S SUNLIGHT
Beth and Maura Hope left on the first Sunday in September.
They made the announcement at the dinner table the night before. It did not shock the houseguests. The sisters had been making overtures about going back to their home in Chicago for some time.
Their mother clinched it when she offered to enroll them in a culinary school noted for producing fine chefs. I can have the tickets waiting for you at San Francisco International in the morning, their mother said during an afternoon phone call. Please come home. I miss you both so much.
The dinner became a solemn affair after their disclosure. The Hope sisters kept to themselves for the most part, but, despite that, they were much loved in the Ashbury Street house.
“Bella has agreed to pick up the supplies for the house for as long as she can,” Maura Hope said while patting her stomach. “I believe I can speak for both of us when I say these months spent with all of you were the most enjoyable times of our lives.”
A tear sprang to her eye as she continued. “We will never forget any of you for the rest of our lives, and, if you are ever in Chicago, drop by our restaurant.”
“But give us a couple of years,” her sister Beth added, as all at the table walked over to them for mutual hugs.
The remaining houseguests stood on the porch the next morning and waved them off as they left in a cab.
“There go the good meals,” Benny said, with more than a hint of sadness.
“Are you saying I can’t cook?” Belladonna had moved menacingly in front of him.
“Oh no, Bella, you’re a fine cook. Chick tells me that all the time.”
“Cut the crap, Benny,” Chick spoke up from his place on the swing. “Bella knows I never compliment her cooking.”
Celeste giggled at that, which started everyone laughing, and that quickly the house was back to normal.
“I’m thinking of going to college on the G.I. Bill,” Matt mentioned to Alex as they walked to the Panhandle.
“Registration starts soon at the University of San Francisco. Celeste is interested too.”
“Do your parents know about Celeste?” Alex asked.
“I told them about her right after I told them about college.”
Alex smiled. “Good move.”
“They were okay with it. We’re going to try to find a place to live on or near the campus.”
They walked for a while in silence.
“It feels like everything is coming to an end,” Alex said as they entered the park. “In two weeks I’ll be submitting my last article for the paper, and then I’ll be gone too.”
“And Sarah?”
Alex shook his head. “I don’t know, Matt. She won’t make any commitment. My parents have told me they’d welcome her with open arms.”
“Your mother I can see, but your father.”
“He’s come around a lot. He understands the Haight-Ashbury culture now that he’s been reading my articles. He knows Sarah would be good for me. Did I tell you she talked to him on the phone?”
Matt stopped walking. “Hell no, you didn’t.”
“She did. For quite some time while I stood outside the phone booth. You know what he said when I took back the phone. She’s a keeper, son. That’s what he said. She’s a keeper.”
The Diggers were at The Panhandle serving lunch. Sherry was nowhere to be seen.
“She left with a few of the others last week,” the girl who was serving soup said. “I think it was to a commune in Oregon, but I’m not really sure.”
They sat down in the shade of a tree.
“I’ll miss the extra beans, but not the conversation,” Matt said as they both dug into their peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and soup.
Afterwards, as they lounged in the shade, the talk again turned to Sarah.
“I think something is getting ready to happen,” Alex said. “She told me last night that today is her last day at the Free Clinic.”
“Not enough business I suspect. Our little community is emptying out quickly. The thumbs are out on every road leading out of town, and the buses and vans are filling up fast,” Matt replied.
“That’s part of it I’m sure. There’s something else too. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but she’s been acting different lately. It’s almost as if she knows the future and I’m not part of it.”
“Sarah did ask you to wear tennis shoes the day you rescued the girl. Not long after that, your column was syndicated and the word about our peaceful community was spread around the United States,” Matt countered. “And Sarah began to get daily speaking engagements.”
“I asked her about that a couple of weeks ago. She admitted making the suggestion that morning, but she claims it was only because the sneakers were better for walking. When I asked her about her parents telling her secrets about the way things will be, she told me her parents tell her many things. She told me they talk about the past, the present, and, sometimes, even the future, and they tell her of the beauty of Heaven,” Alex added.
“When I asked her what they said, she told me their words were for her ears alone, except for the Heaven part. That is all I can get out of her.
Matt closed his eyes as a breeze blew past. It shifted the leaves of the tree just enough for a ray of sunlight to play upon his face.
“I’m glad to know there is a Heaven,” he said. “In Vietnam I had my doubts.”
The breeze shifted slightly, and the sunlight rested on Alex. “She said it’s a place of many wonders, and everything, and everyone, we ever loved waits for us there.”
Matt had removed the Silver Star ribbon from his pocket and was staring at it. “That is nice to know,” he said.
Neither said a word for several minutes until Matt spoke again.
“Maybe Chick was right about her after all. Of course he wasn’t aware she was getting help from her parents.”
Alex decided it was time to change the subject. “Chick doesn’t think she will come with me. He told me a couple of days ago to remember her as a beautiful song in a land of music, or something along those lines. It made sense at the time, and still does in an odd way.”
Matt opened his eyes again. The breeze had gone taking the ray of sunlight with it. “I hope it works out for you. You two make a great couple. But Sarah seems more committed to the peace movement than any other person I’ve met since I’ve been here.”
He turned his head toward Alex. “What are you going to do about the Army? It’s probably not too late to get a college deferment.”
“If I get my notice, I’m going in. I’ll go to college after my enlistment.”
“Are you doing it for your father?”
“For my father and myself,” Alex said.
They walked home slowly in the late afternoon. Both refrained from talking about Sarah, but she was on Alex’s mind.
What would she do if he were to go into the army? Would she stay with his parents? Was it fair of him to ask her to do that?
So many questions and Sarah was not providing answers. Time was getting too short for guessing games. He had to know soon in order to make plans. But would he be ready for the answers when they came?
He would wait a few more days, a week at the most, and, if she still had not said anything, he would confront her. He hoped that day would never come. Deep inside of him, in the part of him that was still a child afraid of the night, he feared her answer.
The days of chasing Sarah were over. Her enthusiasm for games of fancy had waned with the last days of summer. Her dancing on the hill was no longer a nightly ritual either.
She blamed it on the cooler weather, but Alex suspected other reasons, including the strange thought that maybe her parents were telling her things she did not want to hear. It also seemed to him that their lovemaking had grown more intense recently, and afterwards, when she thought him asleep, he would hear her softly sobbing.
As Sarah was changing, so was Haight-Ashbury. Now, instead of the younger residents leaving solo or in groups of two and three, packs of ten or more were heading out in vans and small buses. Counter-culture stores along Haight Street displayed and distributed maps and directions to communes in California and other nearby states.
In the first week of September, hippies still ruled the district, but their numbers were dwindling rapidly. Soon, despite the best efforts of some, the free spirits of Haight-Ashbury would be gone to places unknown. Their philosophies and dreams scattered about the mountains and valleys of the north and west.
Some would still talk of the possibility of a golden age free of discrimination and strife. Some would still insist that money is the root of all evil, and the farming communes were the new way of life. Those were the true believers, as Chick would say. The pretenders would go home to jobs or school. Some would make their way to Canada for a while, or for the remainder of their days. Others would go to war, where their elders forgave all sins. Those who returned safely, in both body and mind, would perhaps protest the futility of armed conflict to any who might listen, or they would go on to become proper citizens and hopefully, at some time in the future, be recognized for their service to their country.
It was the first sentence his father said to Alex when he picked up the phone on Thursday morning, the 7th day of September.
“Your draft notice arrived son. It was in yesterday’s mail.”
Neither said a word for a few seconds. The inside of the phone booth was hot. Alex opened the glass doors.
“When?” he asked.
“They want you to report to Fort Holabird for processing on Wednesday, the twentieth of this month.”
“Okay,” Alex said.
“Sorry son,” his father replied with genuine concern in his voice. “I was kind of hoping they’d forgotten about you.”
“No such luck.” Alex noticed that two people were waiting to use the phone. “At least they waited until the end of summer.”
“When are you coming home, son?”
He knew his father well enough to know he only called him son when worried.
“The Sunday after I submit my last article. I’ll call you when I know the flight times.”
“What about Sarah?” his father asked in a gentle way.
Alex turned from the open phone booth door and looked out on Haight Street.
“I might lose her, dad. I might lose her.”
His father hesitated before he spoke, and when he did, his voice cracked with emotion.
“You are a man of courage son. You have made us proud parents by your words and your deeds. Remember that in the days, weeks, and months ahead. You have made us proud.”
His mother would not stop crying and he had to cut her short as the growing line of young callers-in-waiting were displaying signs of behavior contrary to peace and love.
Sarah was already on the hill at the park when he arrived. Sitting in front of her were a few young men and women, but none, including Sarah, were talking. They all had eyes closed and appeared to be either meditating or in deep thought.
Alex was hesitant about approaching the group. He did not want to interrupt whatever ceremony they were performing. If they were praying for world peace, he was prepared to wait as long as necessary.
He sat close by and watched Sarah. He had often seen her with her eyes closed. Sometimes at night, after she had fallen asleep, he would gaze at her face by candlelight. On those nights, he imagined them married in another place, in another time. He fantasized a life with Sarah as his wife, the children they would have, and the adventures they would experience.
On those nights, he no longer chased a girl he could never catch. On those nights, the flowers he never earned were gardens extending as far as his eyes could see. Everything he ever wanted, everything he ever hoped for, was lying next to him, and he needed to look at her before the candle died and the room became as black as night.
“Tomorrow we will try again,” Sarah said as she opened her eyes.
She caught Alex out of the corner of her eye. She smiled and waved to him.
“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” Sarah stood up. “I have a boyfriend who needs attending to.”
The group began to disperse as Sarah walked toward him. He smiled at her, but Sarah sensed something was wrong.
“Your eyes are sad,” she said as she sat next to him.
“What did I tell you about napping in the park during the day? Remember the last time; you were up half the night,” he replied.
“You’re changing the subject, and we were not napping. A few wanted to try channeling our thoughts to bring about change.”
“Do you think it worked?” Alex asked her.
“No, but I needed a rest. I was all talked out.”
“Now that would be a first.”
“Shut up!” She brushed her shoulder into his, and then collapsed onto him, resting her head on his lap.
She looked up at him. “Don’t tell me anything bad today, Alex. Today and tonight, just tell me how much you love me. Will you do that for me? Promise me you’ll make this a day of good thoughts, a day to remember.”
He looked down on her. She had given him so many days to remember, how could he deny her this one wish.
“I promise,” he said.
A MORNING IN SEPTEMBER
The next morning as the members of the house gathered for breakfast, Matt and Celeste announced they would be leaving the house that afternoon. They had both registered at the University of San Francisco and had secured a reasonably priced apartment within walking distance of the school. Matt had even found an evening and weekend job at a local hardware store.
“Both of our parents are helping us out until we get on our feet,” Matt said to the assembled houseguests.
“Of course you are all welcome to visit us anytime you want,” Celeste added. “We’re a family now, and always will be.”
Sandman, who was holding Aisha and Blossom in each arm, spoke up. “We are leaving too, tomorrow.”
“What the hell?” Chick threw his arms in the air. “Anyone who is still staying, please raise your hands.”
Belladonna, as usual, ignored him. “Where is your family going?” she asked Cactus Girl.
“Home, El Paso, at least for a while. My parents miss their grandchildren. We’ll stay the winter there, at least, and if Marcus finds work, maybe longer.”
Chick could not contain himself any longer. “Sandman, Marcus, whatever your name is, you’d better get a haircut before you arrive in El Paso or you will be tarred and feathered before you get halfway into town. You do know that most employers require you to stay awake for the entire eight-hour shift, right?”
“Don’t worry about me, Chick,” Sandman answered. “I’ll be just fine.”
Belladonna looked at Chick. “Isn’t there something you want to tell your friends?”
Chick thought for a moment. “Sandman, did you forget about the five bucks you owed me from last month?”
Belladonna shook her head in dismay. “Chick’s father is stopping the rent payments on the place at the end of the month. It seems he feels it is time for Chick to begin making his own way through life. I tend to agree. Chick, you want to tell them the rest?”
Chick sighed loudly. “Bella has found a large co-op commune in Oregon. They grow their own food and sell to local businesses.”
“It’s over twenty acres of farmland,” Bel
ladonna added.
“Chick a farmer,” Benny laughed. “That I would pay to see.”
“No need to pay.” Chick walked over to Benny and put his arm around his shoulder. “You and Skip are coming with us.”
“No way!” Skip shouted. “I’m staying right where I’m at.”
“Me too,” Benny added as he felt Chick’s hand apply pressure to his arm.
“And where might you stay? In case you haven’t noticed this part of town is closing up shop. In a month or two, the both of you will be janitors at the zoo, cleaning up after your relatives at the monkey cage.”
Chick released Benny’s shoulder. “Oh, I almost forgot, we will have at least an acre of land put aside exclusively for the growing and nurturing of marijuana.”
Skip scrambled over to Benny and whispered something in his ear.
“Skip and I will think about it,” Benny said as he rubbed his shoulder. “We will certainly think about it.”
The girls gathered around Celeste while the men of the house escorted Matt to the porch.
Alex took Matt off to the side as Chick unveiled a large round reefer and proclaimed this day the start of many Haight-Ashbury farewells.
“I got my draft notice,” Alex told his best friend. “I report on the twentieth, in about three weeks.”
“Oh wow!” Matt leaned back against the railing for support. “Does Sarah know?”
“I think she suspects something, but I’m telling her today.”
“Man.” Matt shook his head. “I was kind of hoping you would stick around for a spell. Maybe try some college at the university.”
“I was hoping to maybe go full time at the paper,” Alex said. “I guess Uncle Sam has more influence than Uncle Max.”
“I could have told you that,” Matt added. “What happens now?”
