“Jaci.” Ricky touched her wrist, stopping her as Seth opened the door. “I’ll call you.”
“Give me some time, Ricky,” Jaci whispered.
He took a step backward, giving a quick nod of his head. “Sure. Of course.”
Though Seth offered it to her, Jaci didn’t want the passenger seat in the car. She hunkered down in the back, trying to keep her head low.
“Do you want to stop for food?” her mom asked, glancing at Jaci in the rearview mirror.
Jaci shook her head. “No. Just home.” Her heart pounded at the mention of the word, her stomach churning with anticipation. Could she really be going home? Was this really over?
They drove up the long gravel drive and parked in the driveway. Seth helped Jaci out of the back. She gripped his hand and stared at the familiar redbrick house in front of her. She followed her mom into the house, breathing in the incense that drifted from the kitchen. She trailed her fingers over the fabric on the back of the couches.
“Mom?”
Mrs. Rivera slid the deadbolt over and looked up. “Yes, Jaci?”
Jaci knotted her hands together in front of her body. “Can I talk to you for a moment?” She stole a look at Seth. “Alone?”
Her mother’s expression softened and she placed a hand on Jaci’s shoulder. “Let’s go to my room.”
Jaci waited on the quilted bedspread while her mother closed the double doors to the bedroom.
“Now.” Mrs. Rivera sat down cross-legged in front of Jaci. “What is it?”
Jaci pressed her hands against the bed. Her heart pounded. Could she really bring this up? Could her mom deal with anything more? “Did you know about Dad?”
Mrs. Rivera sucked in her breath. She bowed her head as if praying, and then met Jaci’s eyes. “Know what about him?”
“I mean,” Jaci said, trying to keep the accusations from her voice, “how could you not know? He’s your husband. You shared everything with him.”
Mrs. Rivera touched her lips with her fingertips, tears trailing down her face. “Detective Hamilton said you saw him. What did he say to you?”
Her mother’s obvious emotion broke something in Jaci. Her throat ached. She inhaled, then again, suddenly thirsty for air. She rubbed her chest, trying to relieve the tightness. Her eyes burned, and she couldn’t stop the sobs from erupting. “How could he do this to us? How could he lie to us?”
Her mother’s arms went around her, and Mrs. Rivera cried with her. “I don’t know, Jaci. But he loved you. I know he loved you.”
Jaci pulled back, brushing angrily at the wetness on her cheeks. “That’s what he told me to tell you. That he loves you. And he’s sorry.”
“Your father is not a bad man.”
Jaci nodded. “I know.” The tears started up again. “But why him? Why couldn’t we just be a normal family like we pretended to be?”
“There were times,” her mother murmured, “when I thought he was lying to me. There were times I thought he was having an affair.” A rosy color crept over Mrs. Rivera’s face. “But he always had a good explanation, a healthy laugh. And I wanted to believe him. Who knows?” She shrugged. “Maybe he was.”
“No.” Jaci shook her head. She couldn’t believe that. She could believe that her father was a vigilante, trying to right the evils of the world one bad guy at a time. She could believe that he rubbed shoulders with wicked men and paid the Riveras’ mortgage with illegal money. She could even believe that he would walk away from his family and never appear in their lives again. But she could never believe he would be unfaithful to her mother. “It’s not like that. I’m sure of it.” And she was. She had seen it in his eyes, the longing for his wife and family.
Her mother squeezed her eyes shut. “Could I have a moment to myself, Jaci?”
Jaci nodded, feeling guilty for making her mother talk about this now. “I’m going to go lay down for a bit.”
“Happy birthday, Jaci!” Mrs. Rivera kissed Jaci’s cheek. “Sweet sixteen, querida.”
Jaci rubbed her arms, aching to get back to the piles of schoolwork in her room. The past four days at home had been a whirlwind of activity and emotion. Thank goodness someone from the school administration had come by with a packet of schoolwork to get her back on schedule. Jaci had dived into it, grateful for the focused distraction. She would spend all of November and December catching up so she could go back in January, like a normal student.
“Mama.” She tried to smile at the pink cake with sixteen flickering candles. “You shouldn’t have.”
Mrs. Rivera got the ice-cream out of the freezer. “I wanted to have a celebration.”
Seth grabbed Jaci, holding her in his big bear hug. “Jaci. Sixteen only happens once.”
“But I had a big party for my quinceañera,” Jaci said, referring to her fifteenth birthday celebration. “I don’t need one now.”
César was already cutting the cake, dipping his fingers in the thick icing.
“Querida.” Mrs. Rivera gave Jaci a tender look. “You said no party. Okay. You didn’t say no cake. This is a big day.”
Jaci didn’t want a big day. She didn’t want to celebrate anything, especially not a birthday. They were kidnapped at Callie’s fifteenth birthday party. She blinked quickly, trying to hide the tears that threatened. She had done nothing but cry since she got home.
“Here.” Seth handed her a card. “This is from me.”
“Okay.” Jaci stared down at the card, fingers trembling as she pried it open.
“Never mind.” Seth took it away from her. “It’s supposed to be funny, but you won’t get it. Anyway, I’m going to teach you how to drive. All right? Then we’ll get your license.”
Since that was Dad’s job. Teaching us how to drive. Jaci gave a nod. “Thanks, Seth.”
The doorbell rang. Jaci gripped the stool under the bar, reminding herself that she didn’t need to jump at every little sound anymore.
“Oh, I got it,” Seth said, hurrying away.
Amanda strolled in, shaking her brown hair out of a purple and silver knit cap. “Hello!”
Jaci smiled, feeling the tension in her chest lighten. “Amanda.”
“Jaci.” Amanda dropped her snow-covered jacket on the couch and crossed the room. She gave Jaci a quick hug and handed her a wrapped gift. “Happy birthday.”
Jaci shot a glance at her mother.
“No parties.” Mrs. Rivera nodded, eyes solemn. “Just one friend.”
Amanda was the only person who knew how Jaci felt. Jaci didn’t mind her being there.
“Hi, Mrs. Rivera.” Amanda helped herself to a slice of cake.
Jaci gripped Amanda’s present under her arm. “Mama, we’re going upstairs.”
Her mother blew a kiss at her. “Happy birthday, dear.”
“Thanks.” She hurried out of the kitchen and up the stairs, Amanda close on her heels. She closed the door to her bedroom and turned to face Amanda, letting out a sigh of relief. “Thank heavens you’re here.”
Amanda sat on the floor and used her fork to cut the cake. “I haven’t seen you in two days. Of course I came.” She grinned at Jaci.
Jaci ran a hand through her short hair. Yesterday her mom had taken her to a stylist. They had dyed it brown and layered it into a cute bob. It still felt foreign to her. “Your hair looks nice.” Amanda’s had also been styled, though she had left it the chestnut brown color.
“Thanks. It’s a whole new me.”
“Everything’s new,” Jaci said, sinking onto the floor next to her.
“Everything,” Amanda echoed. She put down the cake. “So it’s official.”
“Your parents?”
Amanda nodded. “Divorced.” She said the word like she was pronouncing a death sentence, eyes set
in hard lines, voice grim. “And the house sold. Mom’s taking her half and moving back to California.”
A stab of fear went through Jaci’s heart. “Are you going?” She tried to say it calmly, but her voice choked up at the end.
Amanda lifted her eyebrows. “Only if you’re coming with me.”
Jaci inhaled and let it out slowly. “You’re going to live with your dad?”
“Yeah.” She shrugged. “Maybe our parents should get married.”
Jaci laughed out loud. “We would just fight if we lived together.”
“Yeah, you’re right. What’s your mom going to do?”
“I have no idea.” Not a word had been said about Mr. Rivera since Jaci had spoken to her mom. But she still wore her wedding ring.
Amanda cleared her throat. “You saw Ricky?”
Jaci tensed at the name. This would be the one topic between them that would be polemic. She shook her head. “No. You?”
“Yeah.” Amanda finished off her cake. “I went by Sara’s house yesterday.”
Jaci ignored the sliver of apprehension that ran through her. “How’s Sara?”
Amanda gave a slight frown. “Neal said she’s been in a pretty bad depression since they got back. I didn’t get to talk to her. She wouldn’t come out of her room.”
“That doesn’t sound good. I should go see her.”
“Have you gone by to visit Callie’s parents yet?”
Jaci took in a shaky breath and leaned her head against the desk. “No. I keep telling myself I’m going to, and then I don’t. It’s so hard to believe she’s gone.” They had been friends forever, after all.
“I don’t think I could face them.” Amanda pulled her knees up to her chest.
“Why?”
“You know. It was because of me.”
In a way, that was true. But Jaci had quit blaming her a long time ago. “Nobody thinks that.”
“I do.”
Jaci bumped Amanda’s shoulder. “You can’t keep thinking that way.” She felt hypocritical for saying it, since she carried as much guilt around as Amanda did. Jaci cleared her throat and changed the subject. “Did you decide to tell the police about the necklace?”
Amanda picked at a bare thread in the carpet. “What necklace?”
“Why keep it a secret, Amanda?” Jaci whispered. “Do you really think not telling the cops is helping anything? They already know about the bar, or whatever that was. So tell them that’s where we hid the necklace.”
Amanda took a deep, shuddering breath. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Jaci studied her friend. Didn’t she? Or had Amanda effectively blocked that part of their kidnapping?
Not that it mattered. She decided to tell the police herself, the next time they spoke.
Seth knocked on the door. “Jaci? Phone.”
Jaci pushed to her feet. “I’ll be right back.” She took the cordless phone from Seth and went into his room. “Hello?”
“Jaci, it’s Ricky.”
“I know.” The words came out in a whisper. “You’re the only person who calls me.”
“Am I? Well, I wasn’t invited to your party. So, just wanted to say happy birthday. Even if I wasn’t invited.”
Jaci pressed the phone against her ear, closing her eyes. “Thanks. How’s Sara?”
“I guess she’s not that great. She just wants to be alone a lot. You should come see her.”
“Yeah.” Jaci nodded. “I will.”
“Listen, Jaci, I want to see you. Can you meet me somewhere? Like the library? You can even get a book while we’re there.”
“I don’t think so, Ricky.”
“Why won’t you see me?”
“It’s just not fair.”
“What’s not fair?”
She shook her head. Not fair that she should be alive. That she should be happy. “I can’t.”
“Well, if you change your mind, I’ll be at the library at two-thirty. Okay?”
“Don’t, Ricky. I won’t go.”
“I’ll be there every day until you do.”
“It’s not worth the effort, Ricky.”
“Jaci. Don’t make me come over there.”
Why was he doing this to her? “I’ll see you when school starts, Ricky. Bye.” She hung up and left the phone on Seth’s dresser.
Two weeks since Jaci had returned home, and every day she told herself to go visit Callie’s house. And each day ended with no attempt to do so. She tried to tell herself that she was in shock, too traumatized by the ordeal. But she was a coward. She couldn’t bear to see the pain in their eyes. She couldn’t bear to face the fact that Callie died while she lived.
Not today. Jaci opened her eyes, hugging her jacket tight around her. She stomped her feet, though it only made a slight indention in the snow-packed steps. Do it now.
Taking a deep breath, Jaci reached her hand up and pressed the doorbell.
The door opened before Jaci could change her mind. The aroma of pumpkin pie and vanilla floated out on warm air. Mrs. Nichols’ nostrils flared and her eyes widened.
“Jaci.” She wrapped Jaci up in a hug, holding her tight. “Come on in.”
Jaci followed Mrs. Nichols into the living room, feeling sick to her stomach. It felt wrong to be here without Callie. She hovered in the doorway, staring at the mantle.
Callie’s school picture had been blown up to a poster. It sat on the mantle, white roses hanging from it. Her light blue eyes shone behind the wire frames, her smile confident and friendly. Jaci swallowed and her chin quivered. She pressed a hand to her mouth, trying to stop the tears.
Mrs. Nichols turned around and her brows lifted. “Oh, sweetheart.” Tears spilled down her face.
Jaci shook her head, a sob erupting from her throat. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make it worse.”
“Honey.” She hugged Jaci again. “You were such a good friend to her. She loved you so much.”
Jaci couldn’t stop crying. “It should never have been her. Not Callie.”
Mrs. Nichols placed a box of tissues in front of her, and Jaci sobbed for twenty minutes. Finally the tears stopped flowing. She battled to get her emotions under control
“I’m sorry,” she said again. “I didn’t think it would affect me so much.” She gestured at the picture. “To see her. It’s just hard to believe she’s really gone.”
Mrs. Nichols squeezed her hand. “We’re so happy you three are home. It’s not like having our Callie back.” She swallowed hard. “But it brings us some comfort.”
“I wanted to tell you,” Jaci whispered, “how she died.”
“We know, sweetie. We got the report you told the FBI.”
“But it was more personal than that.” Jaci took a deep breath. “She wanted to escape. I promised her I’d run with her. But I lost my nerve. When she went, she went alone.” She lifted her eyes, meeting Mrs. Nichols’ gaze. “There was no way she could make it. They only shot her once. I’m pretty sure she died immediately.” She lost control at those words and tore her eyes away before the tears overflowed again.
Mrs. Nichols rubbed her back. “I understand your feelings, Jaci. But the truth is, you may have been killed along with her. Or you may have escaped, leaving Amanda and Sara to fend for themselves. Who knows how that would’ve turned out?” She pressed her forehead to Jaci’s. “Truth is, dear, we don’t know what would’ve happened. But you’re back now.”
“We made it,” she whispered, more to herself than anything.
“You made it,” Mrs. Nichols agreed. “And Callie would be glad. You still have a long and lovely life ahead of you, Jaci. Don’t waste it on regrets.” She fingered Jaci’s short hair. “New style?”
Jaci reac
hed up and touched it. “Someone thought I needed a new look.”
They both chuckled, which Jaci found refreshing. “Do you mind if I go to her room? Just to . . . say goodbye.”
“No. Of course not.”
“Thanks.” Jaci tried to smile, but knew it fell flat. She hurried down the hall before Mrs. Nichols could see her break down again.
The room hadn’t changed. Except it looked like Callie’s little brother Quincy had donated all of his stuffed animals to her bedding. And hearts and flowers covered every inch of wall, tokens from friends and family.
“Callie,” Jaci whispered. She could say no more before the tears overflowed. She collapsed to her knees and sobbed. She didn’t care who heard. Her best friend in the whole world was dead. Nothing would ever be the same.
“I’m so sorry, Callie. So sorry. I should’ve been with you. Even if it meant I’d died too.”
Jaci cried until she ran out of tears. The ache in her throat lessened and the pressure in her chest lifted. She looked up and noticed the sunlight streaming in from the window. It warmed the pink bedspread, lighting up the pastel yellow walls.
Callie would want to her to be alive, to be happy.
After all, Callie wasn’t really gone. Just dead.
Jaci stood up, taking a deep breath. She could let it go.
She glanced at the clock on the wall. Two o’clock. Jaci turned and bolted for the door. She had half an hour. If she ran, she could make it.
Chapter thirty-six
Jaci paused inside the double doors of the North Bingham County Library. She shivered and shrugged out of her jacket, appreciating the warm air that circulated inside. Her cheeks felt hot from the run, and her nose tingled. She hooked her jacket under one arm and bent over the water fountain. She closed her eyes, relishing the way the icy water ran down her throat.
Altercation Page 24
