by Opal Carew
“Like what?” she asked, relieved he was speaking to her.
“There’s a small island on the lake with a nice beach. I thought we might go over there, just the two of us. Take a picnic lunch.”
She smiled. “That sounds nice.”
* * *
Shock watched her as the light breeze caught her hair and it fluttered around her face as the canoe skimmed through the water. He steered and she paddled in front of him. A pair of loons swam a few yards from them and she turned her head to watch them. His heart thumped at the sight of her profile. Her pert, upturned nose, her lips, parted slightly, the crinkle around her eyes as she smiled at the feathery little creatures.
She was always so willful, so prone to putting herself into questionable situations, but he’d seen another side of her now. He’d seen the depth of her vulnerability. Yet her strength in spite of that vulnerability impressed him.
He would have never guessed what had happened to her in college. She was like the loons swimming near them. On the surface, they seemed calm, gliding through the water effortlessly, but beneath them their feet were moving in a mad, fluttering pace to maintain that façade.
Another loon called in the distance, a lonely, haunting sound.
What the hell had he been thinking, insisting she be his for a month?
But he couldn’t help himself. He’d wanted her.
Hell, he’d wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anything in his life.
So when the opportunity presented itself, he’d jumped at it.
He steered the canoe around to the other side of the island. When they landed on the beach, he steadied the boat while she stepped onto the sand. He pulled out the cooler they had brought while she carried a couple of bags packed with stuff.
Shock spread a blanket on the sand and invited her to sit, then handed her a cold bottle of pink lemonade.
“This is nice,” she said, looking out over the water.
Maybe he shouldn’t have forced her to be here, but he wouldn’t give up this time with her for anything.
She glanced at him, catching his gaze on her face. “What?”
“I was just thinking I’m glad you’re here.”
“On the island?”
“The whole thing.”
“You mean you’re glad I needed money and asked you for it?”
Hell, no. He wished she were here because she wanted to be with him.
“Sure,” he answered. If she wanted to keep it flip, so would he. “Why did you borrow the money, anyway?”
Her gaze jolted to his. “I thought you were okay with not knowing.”
“You can’t blame me for being curious. It’s quite a lot of money. I can’t help wondering how you got yourself into such a huge mess that you needed that much. You have a good job, yet you don’t even have a decent place to live … and you needed that much cash?” He shrugged again. “I know you’re rash, but I just never thought you’d get yourself in that deep.”
She shook her head, her eyes taking on a disturbing clarity. “You think I”—she shook her head—“what? Gambled? Lost a ton of money and owed someone? Or maybe you think I’m into drugs?” Her eyes flashed as she held up her bare arms, then ran her hand over each one as if to show there were no needle marks. “You really think I’m a stupid little bitch, don’t you?”
He didn’t let her anger throw him. She deserved to blow off some steam.
“No, I didn’t think either of those things. Not about you.”
She held her head up in defiance. “Then what did you think?”
“I didn’t know what to think, but the fact is, you did need a lot of money. That means bad decisions made.” He frowned. “Like maybe that guy I saw you with at the bar.”
Her eyebrow arched. “The guy who tried to pick me up, then attacked us later? What would that have to do with the money I needed?”
“No, the other guy. The second night.” He leaned toward her. “What happened, Liv? Were you in some kind of relationship with him? Did he con you out of money?”
She gazed at him and the pain in her face caught him off guard. That was it. She’d been in a relationship with that guy and he’d played her.
“Fuck, Liv. You always were more giving than you could afford. And you trust people too much.”
Her eyes widened and the sheen warned him she was close to shedding tears. “I … trust … people … too … much?” she repeated, each word an effort for her to say. “So … you think what happened to me was my own fault.”
“Getting into debt?” He was confused. Of course it was her fault.
But she shook her head and he suddenly realized what she was really asking.
His heart clenched. “No, Liv. I didn’t mean that.”
She turned and strode away from him, but not before he saw the glitter of tears streaking down her face. He rushed forward and caught her arm.
“Liv, I’m sorry,” he said, turning her around to face him. “Of course I don’t think that.”
She glared at him, her expression fierce. “You’ve always criticized me for being too rash— lectured me that it would get me into trouble.” She shrugged her arm from his hold and stepped back. “And you were right, weren’t you? And I’m still getting into trouble.” She dropped her head, staring at the ground. “And I’m still getting into trouble. That’s how I wound up here.”
With him. She didn’t say it, but it was what she meant.
“I don’t want you to be in trouble, Liv. Nothing about you being in pain makes me happy.” He reached for her but she took another step backward, keeping a distance between them. “That’s why I helped you. Liv, I’ll always be there to help you.”
* * *
Liv stared at him, blinking back the tears she didn’t want to shed, even though some had already escaped. She couldn’t hide them from him, but she could at least try to maintain a level of dignity and strength.
“I don’t need you to be there.”
God, she sounded ungrateful. She wrapped her arms around herself, feeling way too vulnerable.
“I mean”—she swatted away the tears pushing from her eyes—“I appreciate what you’ve done. And I will pay you back. But then I’ll rely on myself.”
* * *
This time he was able to capture her hand before she could escape, and she offered no resistance as he held it in his. “I know, Liv. And you’ll do an amazing job. I just wanted you to know you could call on me if you want.”
Then he pulled her into his arms and held her close. Wanting to protect her. From life. From all the bad things around her.
From herself and her fierce desire to stand on her own and to face the worst in life even when help was standing right beside her.
Her resistance seeped away, and she melted against him, her head resting against his chest. He rested his chin on top of her head, her soft hair wisping around his chin with the breeze.
He could stand here forever, just holding her like this.
* * *
Liv helped Shock carry the stuff back from the canoe to the house. She had enjoyed the picnic on the island relaxing with Shock, enjoying the sunshine, the sound of the water, and just being with him.
“I have to go into town for a meeting this afternoon,” Shock said.
“Oh, what kind of meeting?”
“The company I use to manage the property we’re staying at and the law firm I use for a lot of my business dealings are in town. Anytime I’m here, I arrange to go in and meet with them.” He raised an eyebrow. “Do you want to come with me? I’ll be busy for a few hours, but you could do some exploring, then we can meet for dinner. There’s a great restaurant overlooking the lake.”
“That sounds really nice. Should I change into something different?” But she wasn’t sure what that would be. All she had were the biker chick clothes Shock had arranged for her, and the fancy dress she’d worn out to dinner, but that wasn’t really appropriate for wandering around a small town in the afternoon
.
“No, you’re fine. I’m going in this,” he said, gesturing to his worn jeans and T-shirt.
He picked up her leather jacket and held it for her. She slipped her arms in the sleeves and zipped it up as he pulled on his own jacket. Soon she was sitting behind him on his Harley as they zipped along the highway into town.
It didn’t take long to get there, and as they rode along the main street, she glanced around at the quaint buildings. It was a lovely town, with lots of outdoor cafés, planters full of flowers along the wide sidewalks, and colorful banners fluttering in the breeze. Shock pulled over to the side of the road in front of a tall brown-brick building.
“It’s a pretty town,” she said as she pulled off her helmet.
“I like it,” he said, as he took her helmet and stowed it in the saddle bag on his bike.
“There’s a craft market on the next street,” he said pointing to the right, “a park a couple of blocks further down, right off the lake and, of course, you can see a lot of restaurants along Main Street if you want something.”
He pulled his wallet from his pocket and pulled out some bills, then handed them to her.
She frowned and shook her head.
He took her hand and pressed the bills against her palm. “Don’t be silly. You can buy something for yourself, maybe have a coffee.”
“I don’t want to take your money.”
His big hands surrounded hers, closing her fingers around the bills.
“Don’t make a big deal of it, Liv. It’s just a couple of bucks, and I won’t have you wandering around with no money. What if something happened and you needed to get back to the house on your own?”
He was right. She was making a big deal over nothing.
She grinned. “Why? Are you planning on ditching me?”
He laughed. “I’d never do that.”
She took the money and tucked it into her pocket.
He smiled. “Good. We’re making some progress. Now, I’ll be busy until about five, and I’ve made reservations at this restaurant.” He handed her a card with the name Le Miroire. “As I said, it’s right on the lake. It’s just a few blocks from here, and you can ask anyone for directions. The people here are really friendly.”
She tucked the card in her pocket with the money he’d given her. “Okay. So are you sure you’re going to a business meeting and not just grabbing a beer and playing some pool,” she asked with a grin, eyeing his biker attire.
He chuckled. “I’m sure. But maybe we can do that together after dinner.” He pulled her close and gave her a kiss. Deep and delicious. When he released her, her cheeks were flushed with excitement. What she’d really like to do now is get right back on that bike and return to the house, then drag him up to the bedroom. Though thoughts of walking into a pool hall with him, all bad-assed and with attitude, then strolling into the back room and him taking her on a pool table flitted through her brain. Then maybe some of his friends would come in and join them, and …
Oh, God, what was happening to her? Her fantasies were becoming X-rated, complete with multiple big, bad, biker partners.
He smiled down at her, still holding her close. “So I’ll see you at five. But if you need me for any reason before that, the law firm is in this building we’re in front of, so just go in and tell them and I’ll be right there.”
“I wouldn’t interrupt your meeting,” she said.
He kissed her, his lips lingering on hers. “Don’t be silly. You’re more important than any business meeting.”
Then he released her and walked into the building. She drew in a breath, then turned and walked down the street.
* * *
“Hey, you were on Main Street about an hour ago with Shock, right?”
Liv glanced up from the bright-colored silk scarf she’d been looking at to see a lovely woman with a heart-shaped face, full lips, and big green eyes staring at her. She wore a tailored linen business suit and her long, chestnut-brown hair was neatly pinned up.
“Uh, yes.”
The woman smiled and stuck out her hand. “Hi, I’m Amy. I know Shock. I work for Brenner & Brenner, the law firm he uses.”
“Oh, hello.” She shook the woman’s hand. “He’s meeting with them now, but I guess you know that if you saw us in front of the building.”
“I guess you’re just hanging around until his meetings are done.”
“Yeah, I’m looking around, and I want to buy something for Shock.”
“Oh, I could help you with that.” She smiled. “You see, I know him pretty well.”
At the woman’s suggestive tone, Liv wondered just how well.
“I’m taking an hour break to enjoy the nice weather,” Amy said. “I was just going to head over to get an ice cream. There’s a place with the most amazing homemade ice cream near the park. Want to join me?”
Liv hesitated.
“Come on, I’d love the company, and we can stop by on the way to pick up something special for Shock. I guarantee, he’ll love it.”
“Okay.”
They stopped at a little shop where there was an artisan who made mind puzzles out of wood, rope, and metal. Amy assured her that Shock loved figuring out the trick to them. Liv bought him one that consisted of two metal rods with a series of interlinked rings. Somehow he had to extract one of the rods from the rings.
Next they walked along the tree-lined streets to a lovely little ice cream shop. They went to the counter and picked out the ice cream they wanted from the dozens of delightful flavors, then went out to the patio. Liv sat down on a decorative wrought-iron chair at a small round table, and Amy sat across from her.
Liv dipped her spoon into her pink ice cream with chocolate chunks and cherries and tasted it. Her eyes widened. “Oh, this is delicious.”
“Told you so,” Amy said, then enjoyed a spoonful of her orange and chocolate concoction.
“So how long have you been dating Shock?” Amy asked.
“Oh, no, we’re not dating.”
“Really?” Amy’s eyebrow arched. “Sorry, I saw the two of you kissing. I just assumed …”
Liv shrugged, feeling her cheeks heat. “It’s just a casual thing.”
“Hey, no need to be embarrassed.” She smiled. “It was the same with us, actually.” She took bite of her ice cream. “I mean, I wanted it to be something more.” She shrugged. “Who wouldn’t, right? He’s handsome, loaded, and … my God, no one is better in the sack than that man. And I mean no one.”
Amy leaned in close. “So tell me,” she murmured confidentially, “did he do the whole sex contract thing with you, too?”
Liv stiffened.
Amy nodded. “I see he did.” She rested her arm on Liv’s forearm. “Well, you’re handling it the right way. Realizing it’s just a casual thing. Me”—she shrugged—“I fell head over heels for him. And like a fool, I actually thought he was falling in love with me, too.” She laughed. “Stupid, right?”
“He had you sign a contract, too?” Liv said numbly.
“Yeah.” She patted Liv’s hand and frowned. “Oh, sweetie, don’t tell me you’re falling for him, too.” She shook her head. “Look, I get it. He’s all badass biker on the outside, yet sweet and sensitive on the inside. It’s hard not to fall, and hard. But believe me, the contract means he wants to keep it on a physical level only.”
She leaned in confidentially. “After it happened to me, I found out he’s done it with other women, too. He uses the contract to keep a distance, I guess.” She squeezed Liv’s hand. “All I can say is, enjoy the ride while it lasts.”
* * *
Liv walked along the street feeling numb. Shock had done this before?
She approached the restaurant and saw his motorcycle out front.
Oh, God, how would she face him knowing that she was nothing more to him but a fuck partner?
She sighed. It shouldn’t matter. What they were doing was only meant to be a business relationship. He had been clear that he’d want
ed her for a long time and this was a way for her to thank him. Her heart ached and she sucked in a deep breath to steady herself.
But a part of her had been hoping he would fall in love with her.
In fact, she had started to believe it was actually happening —proof that she was only seeing what she wanted to see, based on the way he treated her. The glow in his eyes when he smiled at her. His loving manner when he had sex with her. Even when he dominated her, there was a tenderness in his eyes.
Of course there was. He was a nice guy. He had always looked out for her, in his own way. He was the type of man who would make sure she got home safely from a seedy bar, and would loan her money when she needed it. Even the huge sum she’d asked for. And when he’d found out what had happened to her, and that she’d never really been with a man … well, of course he’d be gentle and loving with her.
But she couldn’t mistake that for being in love with her.
Liv entered the restaurant and glanced around. She saw Shock sitting at a table beside the huge window overlooking the lake. As she walked toward him, her feet felt like lead.
“Hi. Did you have a good time exploring?” he asked, picking up a bottle of white wine and pouring her a glass.
“Yes, thank you,” she said as she sat down. “Did your meetings go well?”
“Not as well as I’d hoped. There are still a few things I need to sort out, so I’m afraid I’ll have to go back for a while after we’re done here.” He rested his hand on top of hers and smiled. “I promise I’ll make it up to you later.”
The feel of his big, warm hand on hers sent a shiver through her. Usually it would be comforting, but now she could barely stop herself from snatching her hand from his grasp.
Slowly, she drew her hand away and took a sip of her wine.
“Liv, is there something wrong?” he asked.
Her gaze lifted to his, then dropped back to the stem glass in front of her. “No, of course not.”
He could probably tell it was a lie. Luckily the waitress came by and they ordered the lasagna, which Shock told her was a specialty of the house. While they waited, Liv managed to make small talk with him, telling him about the beautiful things she’d seen in the craft market, then giving him his gift, which he loved. But when the meal arrived, she concentrated on eating.
