by Kris Norris
Tears burned her eyes, and she couldn’t stop them from spilling over, dampening Cullen’s chest. He dropped a kiss on her hair, whispering soothing words. The bed dipped behind her, Lucas’ hand joining Cullen’s on her back. She didn’t speak, just sat there, breathing them in until she’d gathered back a modicum of control.
She pursed her lips, feeling incredibly vulnerable as she eased out of his hold. She glanced at Lucas, noting the tight press of his lips as he watched her. More tears threatened, but she snagged her lip to keep them at bay. She motioned to Cullen, praying she hadn’t hurt him by wrapping her arms around him. Christ, she was the one who should be comforting him. “I’m sorry. You need to shift, not coddle me.”
Cullen brushed his thumb over her chin. “I’m not coddlin’ you, and seeing as you patched me up already, my bear can wait another couple of minutes. Who were you talking about? Who did you try to fix?”
She shook her head, pulling free of their embrace then heading for the far wall. “Nothing. No one.”
The bed frame squeaked, and she spun, cursing when Cullen swayed to his feet.
“Damn it, Cullen.” She darted back over and grabbed one of his arms, wondering how she’d keep them both upright if he lost his balance. “You shouldn’t be awake, let alone trying to stand. In fact, you should shift, so your bear can finish the job. But either way, sit down before you fall and pull out those stitches. You really can’t afford to lose more blood, shifter or not.”
His hazel eyes burned into a burnished gold. “You mean the ones you put in there to save my life?”
“I merely removed what was preventin’ your other half from doing that. So, let your bear make the real healing happen. Please.”
“Seems my Kodiak is just as stubborn as you are. It won’t make an appearance until you answer the questions. Who did you try to fix?”
“None of that matters.”
“But I think it does. In fact, I think it’s the reason you became a doctor. Why you’re able to shoot better than anyone I’ve ever met.” His eyes closed for a second, and she didn’t miss how he leaned more of his weight on Lucas when the man shouldered up beside him.
She focused on Lucas. “He’s about to take us all to the floor. Get him to sit his ass down. Or make him shift.”
“Guess you’re not the only one who doesn’t always listen.” Lucas arched a brow. “But I’ll try to sway his decision if you answer the questions. Who taught you how to shoot? How to fight?”
She closed her eyes against the rush of memories, wishing she could run but aware she’d never be able to go far enough to put that part of her life behind her. Hide from the truth. A hand snaked around her before she was dragged against Cullen’s bare chest, Lucas somehow holding them both up. They didn’t talk, simply stood there as she listened to Cullen’s heartbeat. Allowed the steady thrum of it beneath her fingers and inside her head to calm the erratic rhythm of hers.
Cullen dropped a kiss on her head as they eased away. “Please, sweetheart. Talk to us.”
She wrapped her arms around herself as a chill beaded along her skin. “Sit down, and I’ll talk.”
Cullen narrowed his eyes but allowed Lucas to help ease him down onto the bed. She nodded her thanks then paced to the other side of the room, again, needing the distance to pull herself together. What had she been thinking? There was a reason she’d shoved those memories deep down. Why she never talked about her past. Yet, she’d blurted out enough she knew they wouldn’t let the subject drop.
Cullen tsked. “I might not be fully coherent, but I know stallin’ when I see it.”
She sighed, leaning against the wall when her legs threatened to give out.
Lucas padded across the room, stopping next to her but not touching. “You mentioned before that you grew up on a small parcel of land away from town. Has that got anything to do with this? Why you left home at sixteen to pursue medicine?”
“I haven’t had a real home in a long time.” She broke eye contact, staring at a patch of floor. “My childhood wasn’t exactly typical.”
“Not sure such a thing exists, but…we’re listenin’.”
She toed at the wood, wishing she was anywhere but there. “Remember when I told you that you shouldn’t put all your faith in me? That maybe I was the dishonorable one?”
“Hollis—”
“Just…let me finish.” She took a few deep breaths, wishing she’d just kept her fears to herself. Buried her past like she thought she’d buried her heart. “I don’t talk about my past because my father was…is…a gunslinger.”
Lucas arched a brow. “I’ve been a sheriff for several years, now, and I’ve never heard of any outlaws with Chambers as their last name.”
“Chambers is my mother’s name. My father didn’t want anyone to know who I was. To make the connection back to him.” She tried to stop her chin from quivering before drawing herself up. “The truth is, my father is Brett McCalister.”
Lucas inhaled roughly. “Brett McCalister?” He took a few heavy steps away before spinning. “The man’s a legend. Has somehow managed to evade capture for damn near thirty years. From what I’ve heard, he had one Hell of a streak going—stage coaches, trains, banks, not to mention winning every duel he’d ever fought—then he disappeared for a while. Folks thought he was dead until he reappeared about ten years ago. Started up where he’d left off, only mostly with gangs this time. There has to be a dozen warrants out for his arrest, but no one’s managed to corner the man, yet.”
She gave him a weak smile. “He’s exceptionally good at what he does.”
Lucas merely nodded. “I assume you and your mother were the reason he stopped?”
“He’d promised her he wouldn’t put us at risk. That he was done with that part of his life. He bought some land and became a rancher on the outskirts of some small town that had never heard of the name McCalister.”
“But something changed that.”
“He’d gone to acquire another horse. He wanted to breed this new stock. He wasn’t there when a group of men like Buford rode up to the house. I guess they were outlaws he’d known before, because my mother recognized them. I knew something was wrong when she told me to run to the barn and get my father’s rifle. She’d never so much as let me touch one of his guns before then. I ran out the backdoor, but when I got to the barn, I couldn’t reach the rafter where he kept it. By the time I stacked some boxes high enough to touch the barrel, I heard gunshots. I managed to finally wedge it free and run back to the house, but…I was too late.”
She swallowed the scream that tried to claw its way out. “She was on the floor—shot. Bleedin’. I didn’t know what to do. We didn’t have a doctor in town, just a midwife. My mother begged me not to leave her, and I wasn’t strong enough to drag her to the wagon. So, I just sat there, pushing down on her side, waitin’. Screamin’ for someone to help us.” She brushed at the tears that escaped. “That’s how he found us.”
Lucas inched closer, the heat from his body making her want to curl into him. “How old were you?”
She forced herself to meet his gaze. “Ten.”
He cursed under his breath, the pained look on his face nearly unhinging her. “What happened next?”
“He spent hours on the floor with her cradled in his lap, talking to her as if she wasn’t dead, before he snapped. Started rantin’ about how he never should have settled down. That anyone who couldn’t shoot or fight didn’t deserve to live. That we’d been nothing but a burden all along.”
Lucas’ eyes widened then softened. “Oh, darlin’.”
She shook her head. “He loved her. I know he did. Up until that day, he’d doted on her as if the sun rose and set because of her. He’d given up everything for her. But you can’t really bury the past.” She shrugged. “He changed that day. Something inside him died along with her. That’s when he started teachin’ me how to shoot. How to fight. I think it was his way of justifying not leaving me behind. The man was relentless, al
ways pushin’. Even when I could draw faster than him—take a punch and keep fighting—he didn’t stop.”
“Is that where you got that scattering of scars on your body? From training with him?”
Her lips quirked. “It took me a while to become proficient.”
Lucas growled but motioned her to continue.
“Afraid it doesn’t get any better. As I got older, he started taking me with him on jobs, instead of just leaving me alone for days at a time. I was the scout or his backup. Never directly in the line of fire, but there—armed and ready to defend him—just the same. Then, one day I woke up and all that was left was a pile of money and a note saying that I should find my own gang to run with. That he wasn’t coming back. But that wasn’t the life I’d ever wanted. Watching my mother die—that day I promised myself I’d never feel that helpless, again. So, I made my way east, and I never looked back.”
Lucas cupped her chin, waiting until she looked up at him. “Hollis.”
“Don’t.” She pulled away, stumbling halfway back to the bed. “I don’t want your pity. Bad things happen. I understand that. And I’ve done all right for myself. Tried to make up for any wrongs I committed when I was runnin’ with him. And I’ve made peace with the fact that I can’t save everyone, no matter how hard I try. But then, you two came along, and everything changed. I changed.”
“You don’t have to change, darlin’. We love you the way you are. We don’t care who your father is.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She tilted her head back, knowing she couldn’t deny her feelings any longer. That they’d be there, coloring how she saw the world, whether she said the words out loud or not. “All these years, I never really understood why losing my mother affected him that way—until now.” She gave them a small smile. “How you could love someone so completely your entire world depends on their happiness. And that losing them cuts deeper than any knife ever could.”
She focused on Cullen. “When I saw your shirt, your blood everywhere… All I could think about was that I’d failed. The one time I needed to put my skills to the test, and I’d failed you.” She held up her hand when he surged to his feet as Lucas moved in behind her. “I know it’s silly. That you don’t even need my help. That whether you live or die is in the hands of a gift far greater than what I have, but…”
Her chin quivered, again, as she took a deep breath, twisting so she could look them both in the eyes. “It made me realize I’m very much my father’s daughter. That falling in love with both of you has made me vulnerable. That I could end up like him if I ever lost you boys.”
“You could never fail us. You…” Cullen trailed off, his eyes widening before he closed the last bit of distance, letting his forehead rest on hers. He clenched his jaw, his fingers landing on her waist. “Did you just say that—”
“I love you? Both of you? So much it frightens me?”
He waited, furrowing his brow when she just stood there, staring at them. “Did you?”
She released a slow breath, feeling the weight of her denial drift away. “Is the blood loss affectin’ your brain? Because I’m pretty sure Lucas heard me just fine. Yes, I love you and Lucas. Though, it’s tied right now with my desire to smack you up the side of the head for scaring me.” She shoved at him when he went to tug her closer. “We already got you naked, so heal yourself, first. Then, you can love me back.”
Lucas snaked his arms around her waist, pulling her close. He smiled against her neck before kissing it then lifting his head. “Girl’s got a point, mate. As much as I’m enjoyin’ the view, you look like you’re about to fall over. You’d best get that Kodiak of yours to finish the wonderful job our girl did, then we’ll show her that we need her far more than she realizes.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Lucas stood there, watching Cullen stare at Hollis as if he’d never seen her before, and he knew his mate was mesmerized by the truth of Hollis’ confession gleaming in her eyes. Not that Lucas needed to see her to feel her love. It radiated out from her, warming his chest until it was all he could do just to breathe, and he realized Cullen hadn’t been the only one waiting to hear those words. Who might have been harboring a few lingering doubts. Cullen shifted his gaze to Lucas.
He laughed. “I love you, too, you ornery bastard. You know that. So, stop worryin’ and get on with it.”
Cullen stumbled forward, smiling when they both caught him before he fell.
Hollis huffed, moving to Cullen’s right as Lucas took his left. “Damn it, Cullen. If you pull out those stitches, even your bear will have a hard time fixing you.”
“I don’t need my bear when I have you, Doc.”
Her breath caught. She glanced at Lucas, wide eyed, before shaking her head as she tsked Cullen. “Charmer. And you do need your bear. Trust me, those wounds…”
He frowned at the tears that pooled in her eyes then fell, leaving dots of moisture along her cheek. “I’m not going to die, sweetheart. Not today, anyway.”
“Of course you’re not. I spent too much time stitchin’ you up.”
“And you did a great job. I dare say my bear’s a bit jealous.” He thumbed her chin. “You’re sure you’re okay?”
“I’ll be better once I know you’re not going to pass out on me, or worse. Besides, while this isn’t the way I envisioned meeting your other half, you did promise you’d show me that side of you. So, shift, already.”
“You do know what shifting does, right? Once I change back…”
Hollis gave them a wicked smile. “You won’t be the only one who’s naked.”
“Good to know. Now, you might want to move back a bit.”
“Right. Fifteen hundred pounds probably takes up a bit of space.”
Cullen held on when she went to pull away. “I’d never hurt you. Regardless of which form I take. You know that, don’t you?”
“I’m standin’ here, aren’t I? And I promise I won’t need to get any air this time.”
“Fair enough.”
He nodded his thanks when Lucas eased Hollis back, still holding her close. Hollis trembled in his arms, her muscles tense against his. He glanced at Cullen, knowing he’d sensed Hollis’ uneasiness by the way he tilted his head, gazing at Lucas then back to their mate.
Hollis grunted, giving them both a pointed look. “I know you two can tell I’m on edge, but it’s not because Cullen’s about to shift. Ignoring the fact I just confessed my life story to you—including the part where I basically ran as a shotgun messenger for my gunslingin’ father—I’m scared Cullen’s going to drop dead on me if he doesn’t do something about the gaping holes in his shoulder I had to stitch closed.” She pointed at Cullen. “So, stop worryin’ I’m going to bolt or get hysterical and shift.”
He chuckled. “Wounds aren’t gaping any longer, thanks to you. But you have a point.”
Cullen winked at them then lowered his head. Lucas knew the moment he’d given over control to his animal. The man’s thoughts changed, becoming more primal in nature, as his bear surged forward. The air thickened, raising the hairs on Lucas’ arms when Cullen’s body twitched, sending a cascade of fur down his limbs. The man jerked forward, landing on padded paws, his claws clicking against the wooden floor as his bear scratched its way free. He shook his head, finally relaxing as his form settled, the last few echoed creaks fading.
Hollis inhaled, glancing at Lucas over her shoulder. She worried her bottom lip then broke into a wide smile, gently easing out of his arms. Lucas smiled as she moved closer to Cullen, one hand stretched toward his bear. Cullen’s Kodiak scented the air, snorting as Hollis tunneled her fingers though its fur, lightly scratching his neck.
“I…God, I don’t know what to say.” She ran her hands along his back before wrapping her arms around him. “You’re magnificent.”
The bear nudged her with his snout, snorting, again, when she stumbled against Lucas.
He caught her, chuckling when she glared at Cullen. “And Cullen says my bear
forgets how big and strong it is. His damn Kodiak is worse. Thinks we all want to play with it.”
Hollis steadied herself then crossed her arms over her chest. “Not funny.”
Cullen’s bear stepped forward, rubbing his head against her torso.
She sighed. “Fine, you’re forgiven.”
Lucas watched them interact, humbled by how easily she’d accepted them. Accepted what they were. The way she scratched behind Cullen’s ears, holding him as if she never wanted to let go. Lucas hadn’t realized how badly he’d needed her to love this side of them. While he’d understood her apprehension when he’d shown her his grizzly, he’d always worried that maybe it had been more than shock. That despite everything, she’d never truly trust them in their alternate form. Seeing her enthralled by Cullen’s bear made it all very real. That they’d gotten far more than they deserved.
Hollis looked back at him, her small hand connecting with his shoulder. “Of course, I love both sides of you and Cullen.”
Lucas arched a brow. “Did you just read my thoughts?”
“Hard not to when you’re practically screamin’ them inside my head.” Her expression softened. “I know I reacted poorly when you shifted—”
“You didn’t. It was a lot to take in. I understand that.”
“Maybe. But I also know you’re both still worried I could only ever love half of you. Which is crazy, because…” She shook her head. “Look at you. At Cullen. How your bears are a reflection of the men. The way Cullen’s fur is lighter, with the same golden highlights as he has in his hair. Or how your bear’s eyes are just as blue as yours are, right now.”
She seemed to swallow with effort, more tears building behind her beautiful eyes. “You boys… You’re amazing. And knowing your bears can heal you in a way I never could…” Her voice thickened before she let it trail off.
