“Bring it on,” she murmured as she walked home. But even as she uttered the brave words, a part of her couldn’t help worrying that she was in way over her head.
* * *
Mitch stood beside his truck watching Lynn walk down the block. He’d been alternately glancing at his watch and down the street around the time he knew she usually left Raylene’s shop. In fact, lately, he seemed to be paying a little too much attention to her comings and goings. He waited until she was closer before calling out a greeting.
To his surprise, after the way she’d been acting earlier today, a genuine smile lit her face.
“Well, now, that’s a sight for sore eyes,” he declared, grinning back at her.
“What?”
“That smile of yours. It’s been a while since I’ve seen it. You definitely weren’t too happy with me this morning.”
“You were right. I had something on my mind,” she finally acknowledged. “Sorry.”
“No need to be sorry. Is the problem resolved now?”
“Not entirely, but I got my perspective back. Actually I had a good day in general,” she said. “Ed called. He says he’s making progress on getting a few financial issues straightened out. I made several good sales today. I even bought myself a new dress.” She held up the boutique’s shiny bag triumphantly. “To be honest, I feel hopeful for the first time in a very long time.”
Though he probably should have settled for the evening they’d planned working on the payroll, Mitch made a quick decision. “Feel like telling me about it over dinner? Nothing fancy. Just Rosalina’s. I’m afraid I’ve just about worn out my welcome with Raylene and Carter. I need to get out in the world again.”
“Raylene and Carter love having you stay for dinner,” Lynn contradicted. “She’s told me how much they enjoy your company.”
“Carter’s just tolerating it,” he insisted. “He’s counting on that addition moving along a little faster if I keep longer hours.”
“You’ve said that before, but I honestly don’t think it’s all about that,” Lynn said. “I think he likes having you around when he has to work the late shifts at the police department. Neither he nor Raylene have entirely forgotten about that business with Raylene’s ex-husband. He might be back in jail now, but it’s left them jumpy.”
Mitch nodded. “That was a nasty business, all right. So, Lynn, how about it? Pizza at Rosalina’s. We can bring the kids along if you like. You can wear your new dress.”
For some reason he couldn’t fathom, she chuckled.
“What?”
“Raylene predicted I’d be having dinner out tonight. She all but insisted I buy this dress just in case.”
“Well, bless Raylene,” he said. “The woman does have amazing insight from time to time. So, is that a yes?”
She studied him with a worried frown. “Are you sure about all this, Mitch? Do you really want the kids along, too?”
Though he’d prefer a more intimate evening with her, he knew it was still too soon for that. The kids would add the buffer they both needed to keep these fresh, unexplored emotions in check.
“I’d be glad to have the company,” he said candidly, deliberately making it sound as if they’d be doing him a favor. “I’ve never enjoyed eating out alone.”
She hesitated another minute, clearly wrestling between desire and caution. “The kids won’t drive you crazy?”
He laughed. “Not if I give them a bunch of quarters for the video games, they won’t. That always worked like a charm with Nate and Luke.”
“That definitely ought to keep Jeremy and Lexie occupied,” she agreed, smiling. “Okay, then. It sounds great. Should we meet you there?”
He knew that car of hers hadn’t left the driveway much lately and suspected he knew why. The price of gasoline could play havoc with a tight budget. And even though Rosalina’s wasn’t at the other end of the world, he didn’t want her wasting any obviously precious gas to get there.
“No, just give me a half hour to run home, shower and change, and I’ll pick you guys up.” He’d also need that time to run inside and leave a note for Raylene, letting her know he wouldn’t be hanging around tonight. This unexpected opportunity was way too good to pass up.
He smiled to himself. Not that she’d be one bit surprised. Apparently, she knew the two of them better than they knew themselves.
* * *
Lynn noticed heads turning when they arrived at Rosalina’s. There was a rise in volume, too, as speculative comments were exchanged. Though she loved Serenity, had spent her teens learning to appreciate its close-knit ways, she’d never gotten used to this. Just like so many other times since she and Ed had separated, she felt as if her smile was frozen in place and her cheeks were hot with embarrassment. Thankfully, Jeremy and Lexie appeared oblivious, already heading off to the area that contained a variety of video and arcade games.
“Pay no attention to the gossip,” Mitch said quietly, leaning down so that his breath fanned against her cheek.
“Hard to ignore the stares,” she replied, “and the whispers.”
He winked at her. “Ever stop to think that it may be because no one’s seen me out with a woman since Amy died?”
She gave him a startled look, then chuckled. “No, that never once crossed my mind. How self-absorbed is that?”
“Just human nature, darlin’. When we have things going on in our lives that are uncomfortable, we always think everyone else can’t wait to talk about us.” He chuckled. “Sadly, in Serenity, it’s more than likely true.”
Lynn finally allowed herself to relax, surprised by the discovery that Mitch’s understanding not only of the situation but of her reaction to it had settled her nerves.
After they were seated in a corner booth, she glanced at the menu, uncertain what to order. She was so hungry these days, she would gladly have sampled a little of everything on it.
“How about two large pizzas?” Mitch suggested. “That way there will be leftovers to take home.”
“Sounds good to me,” she said, thinking of how eagerly the kids would eat more than their share, just as they had when they’d discovered the leftovers after Mitch had had pizza delivered to the house a few nights ago.
“And salad?”
“For me and Lexie, yes. None for Jeremy. He won’t touch it, no matter how miserable I make his life.”
“My boys were the same way until Cal Maddox was coaching them for baseball and insisted they eat their vegetables, right along with the meat and other protein the football coach encouraged them to eat,” Mitch said. “They finally got the message about nutrition fueling their bodies. Does Jeremy play any sports?”
“Not yet. He hasn’t seemed interested in the various teams in town and I haven’t encouraged him to try out. His dad wasn’t a big athlete, so Ed hasn’t tried to influence him, either.”
“Seems to me team sports are good for boys,” Mitch said. “But only if they’re interested. Nate and Luke couldn’t wait to play. They’re still competitive, though they’re not involved in organized sports at college.” He set aside the menu. “Now, tell me, what would you like to drink? Soda? Beer?”
She hesitated, considering her reply carefully. Was this the perfect time to test the situation? “I’d love a beer if you’re having one.”
“Not me,” Mitch said easily. “But you go ahead if you want one.”
And there was her answer, she thought with regret. Or was it? She regarded him
curiously. “You declined as if there’s a story there,” she said carefully. “Is there?”
“Beer provided a little too much comfort right after Amy died,” he told her openly and without even a hint of embarrassment.
“Oh,” she murmured, not sure what to say. He’d made the admission with such complete candor that she was momentarily taken aback. “So you don’t drink anymore?”
He shook his head. “I woke up one day to the horrifying realization that I wasn’t one bit better than the drunk driver who killed my wife. Only difference was, I had sense enough not to get behind the wheel. Haven’t touched alcohol since then.”
Lynn wondered if it was even possible to quit just like that. Her dad certainly hadn’t been able to. Then, again, had he ever even tried?
“You must be incredibly strong to just turn your back on it like that,” she said. “Did you join Alcoholics Anonymous or some other kind of support group?”
“No, though I would have in a heartbeat if I hadn’t been able to do it on my own.” He gave her a serious look. “I don’t think I’m an alcoholic, Lynn, not by any means. Before Amy died, I’d have a beer or two in the evening from time to time, but even that wasn’t something I did regularly. When I saw that I was relying on it to dull the pain after she died, though, I realized that I could be on a slippery slope.”
He shrugged as if it were of only passing consequence. “It’s not something I miss or struggle with. Except for those couple of months, booze was never a big part of my life.”
She should have been reassured by his words, by his conviction that it wasn’t a real issue for him, but history had taught her to be wary just the same. The fact that he’d confirmed what Laura had seen disturbed her, no matter how hard she tried to fight it. She just couldn’t imagine that one day drinking had been a problem and, just like that, now it wasn’t. Could it be that easy?
“So, do you still want that beer?” he asked. “It won’t bother me a bit.”
She shook her head. “No, soda’s fine.”
He frowned. “Don’t change your mind because of me.”
“I’m not. It’s no big deal,” she insisted.
Mitch placed their order, then met her gaze, held it just a second longer than usual. “Now, why don’t you tell me what made this such a good day?”
“Besides this chance to get out for dinner?” she said.
“You were happy long before I suggested this.”
She thought back over the morning, her conversation with Raylene and then the sales she’d made to cap off the day. “I had a few good sales,” she told him, focusing on that. “I think I told you that earlier. I’m still not in the same class as Adelia Hernandez, who could sell ice to Eskimos, but I’m getting better at closing the deal. At first if someone appeared uncertain, I let it go. I didn’t want to be pushy. Now I’ve learned to point out why they can’t live without that particular blouse or dress or suit.”
“The way Raylene talked you into buying this dress?” he teased. “Whatever she said to convince you, she was right. The peach color makes your skin glow.”
“That’s exactly what Raylene said,” Lynn said. “Did she coach you?”
“Nope, just calling it like I see it.” His expression turned serious. “You’re a beautiful woman, Lynn. You always were.”
“Always?” she said skeptically. “I seem to recall that the first time you set eyes on me, right after we moved to town, Taylor Vincent had just shoved me into a mud puddle and I was a mess.”
He laughed. “But a beautiful mess,” he insisted.
She hadn’t thought about that incident in years, but suddenly realized just how telling that moment had been. “You slugged Taylor Vincent,” she said, suddenly remembering the scene vividly. She’d been shocked that someone she hardly knew had stood up for her. “Even then, you were ready to slay dragons for me.”
“Taylor Vincent was a bully,” he declared, then added a little sheepishly, “He’d made you cry. Even way back then I couldn’t stand to see a girl cry.”
“He ruined my new coat. I was so proud of that coat.”
“It was red with a black velvet collar,” Mitch recalled.
Startled by his memory, she gaped at him. “You remember that?”
“I told you you’d made an impression,” he said.
“My mom had made that coat for me. I was only supposed to wear it for special occasions, but I wanted to show it off at school. Even though we had it dry-cleaned and it was good as new, it was never the same for me after that.” She smiled at him. “You were my hero that day.”
“And then you fell for Ed,” he said.
Her smile faded. “And then I fell for Ed,” she said, unable to keep a note of regret from her voice. Almost immediately, though, she felt the need to defend her feelings, if not Ed. “He wasn’t always as inconsiderate and selfish as he’s been recently.”
Mitch didn’t look as if he believed her, but he shrugged. “He must have had some good qualities for you to be so crazy about him for all those years.”
“And because of him, I have two incredible kids,” she said. “I just wish I weren’t so sure everyone in town probably believes that I must have done something awful for a paragon like Ed to leave me.”
“Did you? Do something awful, I mean?”
“Absolutely not. I was shocked when he said he wanted a divorce. Our marriage wasn’t some great American love story, but it seemed okay. Keep in mind that I didn’t have a lot to compare it to. My parents had a rocky time of it. By comparison, Mitch and I had something quiet and steady. It was…I don’t know, a relief, maybe. It was comfortable. I was content. I thought he was, too.”
“That’s what I thought,” Mitch said. “As far back as I can remember, you did nothing but love that man. I never quite understood what you saw in him, but then you’d broken my heart, so maybe I was a touch biased.”
“I broke your heart?” she said, shocked by the unexpected admission.
“In seventh grade,” he confirmed. “I finally worked up the gumption to suggest we have a soda at Wharton’s after school and you turned me down flat. Said you were meeting Ed, though I seem to recall even then that he was taking you for granted. He never even showed up that afternoon. It killed me watching you sit there with your friends looking so disappointed.”
Lynn thought back to those relatively innocent days. Mitch was right—Ed had taken her for granted. It was a pattern that had never been broken. Why hadn’t she seen that before? Was it because, as she’d just said, it was such a relief to have a life without the constant fighting and upheaval she’d experienced growing up?
“Why didn’t you tell me your opinion of Ed?” she asked Mitch. “Maybe I’d have listened to you. We were friends. I trusted you.”
“Did you not just hear me say you’d broken my heart? Besides, I was only thirteen and fighting acne. What did I know about relationships and how they were supposed to work? You were the first girl I’d had nerve enough to ask out.”
She regarded him with belated regret. “I’m sorry I hurt you. At that age kids are so incredibly thoughtless and careless about feelings, aren’t they?” She sighed. “I hope Lexie makes it through these teen years and her first serious crush without getting her heart broken.”
“Unfortunately, that’s not something parents can control,” Mitch said. “Amy did her best to protect our sons from heartbreak. She tried to warn them away from girls she knew were destined to hurt them. And she taught
them to do the right and honorable thing when it came to the girls they dated, but I know they’ve made their share of mistakes, probably hurt girls as often as they’ve been hurt.”
Mitch leveled a look into her eyes. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure.”
“Would you take Ed back if he wanted to reconcile?”
Lynn understood why he wanted to know. Why pursue her, if her heart still belonged to another man? She wished she had an unequivocal answer she could give him.
“I don’t think so,” she said slowly, trying to be as honest about this as he’d been earlier about the drinking. “I’ve seen him in a new light recently and he’s not the man I thought he was.” And thinking of the sparks that simmered when Mitch was around, she was starting to realize that the chemistry between her and Ed had been lacking, too.
“But?” Mitch coaxed.
“There are Lexie and Jeremy to consider. They need their dad.”
“They can have their father around without your welcoming him back in your life,” Mitch said reasonably. “I guess what I’m trying to get at is whether you want to reconcile. Not because of your kids. For you.”
“If you’d asked me a week or two ago when things were really a mess, the answer would have been easier,” she said. “I was furious and disillusioned.”
“But now he’s back in town and all’s right with the world?” Mitch asked, a hint of reproach in his voice.
Lynn gave him a sharp look. “Hardly. I don’t want to be with a man who so clearly doesn’t want to be with me. That hasn’t changed. I guess in the end it’s a moot point. Reconciliation isn’t in the cards.”
Mitch didn’t look as if he found that reassuring. Even she could see that she’d left his very direct question unanswered. She still hadn’t said what she wanted.
And the truth was that she didn’t know. She wanted the security of her marriage back, the stability that came with knowing who she was and what her role was—wife and mother. But that view of herself had apparently been based on a lie or at least a misconception. How had she not seen how much was wrong at the very core of her relationship with her husband?
Where Azaleas Bloom Page 13
