"Josh, that's not true-"
"Yes it is! Damn how stupid can you be?"
My face flushes as my blood pressure shoots through the roof. "Stupid? STUPID?" I scream. "I'm not the one drowning myself in a bottle. I'm not the one drinking at ten in the morning. But I'm stupid?"
Josh stares at me his hand clenching. He raises it and I know he's going to hit me. I want him to. I want him to unleash all that pent up fury, that hurt and that anger. I want to take it all in and then give it back to him tenfold. I want him to feel... something.
His shoulders slump again, his jaw goes slack and he looks away from me. He pushes past me down the stairs heading for the front door.
"Where are you going?" I demand.
"Out," he says then the door slams behind him.
I stare at the closed door and wonder if this is the last time I'll see him. It still hurts me that I might not.
CHAPTER SEVEN
I don't know when Josh came home last night. This morning the door to his bedroom was closed so I assume he's in there. I'm sure he came home drunk again.
Danny has therapy today. I have to get him there then I have a meeting with the lawyer. Hopefully things will be resolved with the insurance and my inheritance in general.
Josh could really help out on this. His inheritance is clear cut as the natural born child. I have to talk to him about helping out with Danny's expenses today. My stomach is a tight knot thinking about him. I want things like they used to be. I don't want to be angry with him. I don't want, more than anything, to let him hurt me like he does.
"Hey Cin," Danny says setting aside a book as I walk into his room. He's sitting in his motorized chair. He's gotten very good at getting himself from the bed to the chair on his own.
"Morning Danny!" I say cheerfully.
"What was all the shouting last night?" Danny asks.
I can't stop the frown. I bend down and pick up some clothes from the floor to cover my hesitation. What can I tell him? I don't want Josh to hurt him. I can't tell him the truth, if I do it could crush his spirit.
"Oh you know," I say stalling. Damn I don't know what to say.
"Josh came home?" Danny makes it a question, his voice trembles.
I know how much this means to him. He was always so close to Josh. "Yeah," I say at last.
"Didn't go well?"
I shake my head negative. Danny nods and then picks up his book and starts reading.
"Danny, look Josh has a problem. What you see, that's not really him. That's the man covered over by the alcohol."
"Yeah, it's fine," Danny says not looking up from his book.
Damn you Josh. This is what you're creating! You're drowning your sorrows but the rest of us are the ones paying the price. You just lose yourself in a stupor and leave us to deal. My teeth grind together thinking about it.
"Well got to get you to therapy now," I say to Danny.
"I don't want to go," he says.
"Danny you have to, you're making progress. You can't miss a session. You'll never get out of the chair if you don't work it regularly."
"That's bullshit!" he yells throwing the book across the room. "I'm never getting out of this chair."
A door slams outside Danny's room. What now? I open Danny's door and see Josh storming down the hallway. His eyes are sunken and he's a mess.
"Can't fucking sleep in this house," Josh gripes walking towards me. He stops in front of me oblivious to the fact that Danny is right behind me.
"Josh," I say. "Why don't you come say hi to Danny?"
Josh's face goes pale and he stops. "Uh, sure. Hey Danny."
I step back giving Josh to enter the room. He takes one step in and stops. His eyes rove around the room avoiding Danny.
"Josh!" Danny says. I hear the excitement in his voice and trepidation fills my heart.
"How's it going kiddo?" Josh asks not approaching the bed.
"Oh you know, just lying around and stuff," Danny says laughing at himself.
Josh smiles. A half smile but it reminds me of the old Josh. I see the glimmer of the way these two were before. Close compatriots despite the age gap. Josh would spend hours playing with action figures with Danny. Planning some new crazy trick that only boys would understand. Danny worshiped Josh and from my outside perspective Josh loved Danny.
"Why don't you take Danny to therapy for me today Josh?" hoping to fan the embers of that old love.
Josh shakes his head immediately. "Uh, no I got, uh, things to do."
I frown as anger flares in my gut.
"Oh, it's all right man," Danny says but the disappointment is in his voice.
I can hear it and my anger is gasoline on a fire. "What kind of 'things' do you have to do?" I attack.
"Just, stuff," Josh says backing out of the room. "I'll see you later man okay?"
I'm not going to let him off that easy. I follow him out of the room and down the hall. He keeps moving away from me so I reach out and grab him by his shoulder, spinning him around to face me. I'm in his face my finger waggling back and forth.
"He wants you to hang with him! He needs you."
"I can't," Josh says.
"Can't? Or is it really won't? You got a big date with a bottle?"
"Can't okay!" he yells I see the anger building. "I fucking can't. I got things to do today. Later, maybe."
"You've been saying later for four years now. When is it going to get here? You can't just keep leaving him alone. He needs you! I need you. We need help here."
"Look, it's not my problem! HE'S not my fucking problem!"
Josh yells the last sentence and I hear the gasp behind me. I turn around and Danny's sitting in his doorway. The hurt on his face breaks my heart. Tears start running down my face, my mouth hangs in an open oh, so I start towards him but he wheels his chair back into his room and slams the door. I turn on Josh.
"Oh great you ... you ... asshole!" I yell.
Josh is defeated. He turns away from me without a word, his shoulders hunched as he walks back to his bedroom and slowly closes the door. I stand there at a loss for what to do next.
CHAPTER EIGHT
"Danny," I plead. "Please open up!"
There's no response. Great. I lean my head against the cool wood of the door with tears streaming down my face. Maybe he just needs some time. I need to call his therapist and reschedule. I push myself away from the door and go wash my face which has to be a mess.
The cool water is refreshing. I look at myself in the mirror. My eyes are puffy and swollen from crying but overall I'm presentable again. I don't know what to do. I sit down on the toilet and not for the first time wish my mother was here. She had a way of dealing with things that made it always look easy. No matter how dramatic or world ending it looked to me, she could say a couple of things and suddenly everything would be all right.
Thinking of her tears threaten again. I push all that aside and take a deep breath. I check my phone. It's almost lunch time now so I need to go get that started. Maybe after everyone eats the three of us can talk.
I start preparing sandwiches for everyone. I'm going to have everyone sit down for lunch. There's only the three of us now. We have to work this out. We need each other. I look the tray over and remember I have some fresh tomatoes that will go great with these so I go back over to the fridge. The knives are next to the sink so I stop to get one. Out the window by the pool I see Danny is sitting in his chair.
I stop and stare. He hasn't gone out there since the accident yet there he sits staring down into the pool right at the edge. What is he doing? How did he get out there? My stomach drops out as his chair jerks into motion and he rolls over the edge into the pool. I scream unable to form words at first. I run for the door out to the pool.
"JOSH!" I cry as I run.
The door upstairs slams open. "WHAT!" he yells.
"HELP!" Then I'm out the door running for the pool.
I dive into the water and down to Danny. He's belted in
to his chair which has sunk to the bottom. He has his eyes closed and little bubbles are escaping his lips. I grab the chair and pull but I can't move its weight and Danny's. I struggle with the belt but it won't let go.
My lungs are screaming for air and I have to surface. I break through and Josh is running out the door to the pool. As I clear it he leaps over my head and into the water with a splash. I gasp a breath and dive again.
Both of us work the belt. It won't budge. Josh strains, the veins in his neck stand out, but the thing won't release. Danny has a smile on his face, his are eyes closed, and the bubbles are slowing from his mouth.
My lungs are burning again but Josh is still straining. I grab the belt and pull with him. I feel it move an inch. Hope! I pull harder and feel Josh pulling too. It moves again, then suddenly it slides free. We each grab Danny under an arm and pull him to the surface.
We swim him over to the edge and push him up to safety. He coughs as we swim and then he inhales deeply as we push him onto the concrete. He lays there a moment then he slams both his fists against he ground.
"Damn it, let me be!" he yells.
Josh climbs out of the pool while I swim over to the ladder to exit.
"What in the hell were you thinking!" Josh yells standing over Danny with water running off of him. "Are you mad!"
"What difference does it make to you?" Danny yells back. "I'm not your problem!"
Josh stumbles back as the words hit him. His mouth moves but no sound comes out. That same defeated look comes over him as his shoulders slump.
"Oh shit," he says. "Danny, I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what? You just spoke the truth. I'm just a damn burden. I'm not good to anyone or anything. All I do is keep Cindy from being able to have a life!"
Josh turns away and starts walking towards the house.
"Josh, where are you going?" I ask.
"I need a drink," he says.
"No, you don't. Don't you see that's the problem?"
Josh shakes his head. Danny is crying at my feet so I kneel down and give him what comfort I can.
"I can't deal with this," Josh says.
"Yes you can, damn it!" I yell at Josh. "Man up!"
Josh turns and looks at me, then down at Danny. "Danny, I'm sorry," Josh says.
Danny looks at him and shakes his head. "It's not your fault."
"Yes it is," Josh says looking at me now. "I should have been watching you. You're being punished because I did something wrong."
"You're an idiot," Danny says sniffling. "It was my idea. I did it. Just because you couldn't keep your eyes off Cindy didn't have anything to do with what happened to me!"
"Danny!" I yell at him.
"What?" he asks. "You think I didn't know what you two were doing? You two had the hots for each other bad. Probably before I was even born. So what? You're not really related. Go for it. Mom and dad are gone now so there's nothing stopping you! Just do it already!"
Josh and I stare at each other at a complete loss for words.
CHAPTER NINE
We all change clothes and dry off then we sit down to lunch. So far it's been quiet and reserved. I don't know what to say. I don't think Josh does either.
"Why did you do that Danny?" Josh asks at last setting his sandwich down in front of him.
Danny sits quietly for a long moment looking very thoughtful.
"When it happened. It was so peaceful. You think it's going to be, like, painful and crappy but it wasn't. It was like going to sleep, nice and easy. When you said I'm not your problem I realized how much of a problem I am for Cindy. I don't want to be a problem so I figured, screw it I'll just go to sleep."
I close my mouth and finish chewing my food. I can't believe he's so calm and collected about this. Josh nods to him but doesn't say anything either.
"Danny, you're not a burden to me," I say.
"I get what he means," Josh says quietly. "I'm sorry I dumped all this on both of you. Danny's right."
"Josh what are you talking about?" I ask.
"I'm going to get straight," he says. "For you. For him. For me even. I've been running away. Danny, I'm sorry man."
"Josh, I'm telling you, it's all good. I did a dumb thing. You can't take responsibility for it."
Danny smiles at Josh and for the first time I see Josh meet Danny's gaze. They both smile then we are all laughing.
It's not going to be an easy road but then whose road is easy? The thing is, I know right then, we can make it. Once more, it's the three of us together, facing the future.
"I'm going to go away one more time," Josh says.
I look at him sharply and Danny drops his fork.
"Wait," Josh says holding his hands up. "Hear me out. I'm going to check myself into a rehab clinic. I don't want to pretend I can break this on my own. I'll need help. But I'm doing it for us. All of us."
"Josh, are you sure?" I ask.
Danny is grinning ear to ear.
Josh nods smiling at Danny. "Yes," Josh says. "Yes I am."
Lunch finishes with laughs and hope. I haven't felt this happy in years.
CHAPTER TEN
Two Years Later
I wait in quiet expectation. Josh has gotten himself clean. It wasn't easy but he followed the steps and took it one day at a time. He's enrolled in school for a medical genetics PH.D and a researcher on his university's genetics team and has put Danny in for a clinical trial of a cutting edge cure for spinal injuries. If successful Danny will be able to walk again.
Danny lies on a hospital bed, his bare legs exposed from under the sheet. This is the final treatment. He's responded well to date but this is the final phase. If successful he should regain sensation in his legs and be able to start a new round of physical therapy that will train him to walk again.
Josh stands by the machines reading all of Danny's vitals as they administer the treatment. The doctor steps back and nods for the nurse who runs a pin wheel tool down Danny's foot. The foot twitches in response!
"I felt that!" Danny cries out in pure joy.
Josh is beaming ear to ear. I give them both a big thumbs up from the observation room. They can't hear me up here, the speakers are one way but I know that everything is going to work out fine. Josh looks up at me and I give him an air hug.
Josh runs out of the room and I hear him pounding up the stairs to me. He bursts through the door taking me in his arms and lifts me off my feet. His lips crush to mine as he twirls me around.
"It worked!" he says.
"Of course it did," I say. You're brilliant."
"I love you Cindy, I always have."
"I love you Josh," I say.
"Let's go to dinner and celebrate tonight. Danny will be able to come," Josh says smiling.
"That sounds great," I laugh.
Josh kisses me again and heaven is here in my heart surrounded by his arms.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
"A toast," Josh says standing up.
The three of us raise our glasses of sparkling water.
Josh smiles at each of us. "The road has been long," he says. "But it led us here. So I propose a toast to love. Love unending, love that never gives up, love that no matter how bad it gets, you don't let go."
"Hear hear!" Danny says smiling.
We each sip our drink but Josh doesn't sit back down. He turns towards me.
"Cindy," he smiles and I would swear he's blushing. "Your love carried us. Your incredible strength and your heart brought us together. Your love for us knows no bounds."
Josh lowers himself to his knees before me as he talks.
"Cindy, will you marry me?" he holds a box up to me with a sparkling diamond ring in it.
My heart pounds as blood rushes to my face. "Oh Josh!" I cry.
"Say yes, say yes, say yes!" Danny chants tapping his fingertips on the table.
"Yes, oh my god, yes!" Both my hands are on my lips.
Josh slides the ring on to my finger. The cool weight of it feels like a solid
line between the two of us, making our love real. He rises up taking me in his arms, our lips meet. Tingles run over me as he kisses me and his arms envelop me.
"Woo hoo!" Danny cries out breaking the moment.
The room around us, filled with other diners, breaks into applause. Josh turns so that he is standing by my side now.
"She said yes!" he calls out to the room.
The crowd applauds louder and there are cheers too. I've never been so happy and so mortified at the same time in all my life but now, at long last, I finally have what my heart wants.
CHAPTER TWELVE
I check the mirror one last time before I open the door to the bathroom. Josh lies on our bed waiting. His eyes drink me in. I walk towards him slowly, swaying my hips. The negligee hides little as I move. The way his eyes glisten and his jaw hangs open I know I'm creating the desired effect.
He rises from the bed, his hands coming to rest on my hips. He leans into my kiss, his hands roam up and down my back. We kiss and kiss some more. Gentle, loving, his perfect lips work against mine. Our tongues meet and dance one with another, his hot breath passes across my lips warming my skin.
I pull back to breath, then I kiss the cleft of his chin, under his jaw, and down his neck. My fingers trail along his arms as I lower myself before him. I use my tongue to guide my way across his chest and down along the tight muscles of his abs. My fingers trail from his hips lightly until I reach his cock. I lick the tip of it softly with my tongue, teasing it, enjoying how it jumps.
I take him in my mouth swirling my tongue around the head while making a twisting motion with my hand on the shaft. I start working up and down. Josh moans loudly, his hand grasps my hair as I pleasure him. He holds back so I reach around behind him and force him deeper into me, pulling his hips forward then pushing them back. I feel his pleasure building as well as hear it in his voice.
"God, Cin, I'm going to lose it," he says trying to pull back from me.
I have other plans. I pull his hips in closer, forcing him to stay in my mouth. I take him deeper and deeper until he's fully in my throat. He explodes dumping his hot seed into me. I take it, swallowing it all before I pull off of his deflating member.
Rogue: A Stepbrother Forbidden Romance Page 3
