The Confusion

by Neal Stephenson

  "I am aware that it hurts."

  "There are people at Court who suffer from aches of heart and spirit that are every bit as intolerable as a toothache. Those who prey on them, are no different from tooth-pullers. The emblems of the devil are no different from the pliers brandished by tooth-pullers: visual proof that these people are equipped to ply their trade, and satisfy their customers."

  "You are so dark! Is there anything you believe in?"

  Oyonnax closed the casement. The gruesome images outside were gone. "I believe in beauty," she said. "I believe in the beauty of Versailles, and in the King who created it. I believe in your beauty, mademoiselle, and in mine. The darkness beyond has power to break through, just as those people out there could throw rocks through this window. But behold, the window has stood for centuries. No one has thrown a rock through it."

  "Why not?"

  "Because there is a balance of powers in the world, which can only be perceived by continual attention, and can only be preserved by—"

  "By the unceasing and subtile machinations of persons such as you," Eliza said; and the look in the green eyes of Oyonnax told her that her guess was true. "Is that why you have involved yourself in my vendetta against the Duke?"

  "I am certainly not doing so out of any affection for you! Nor out of sympathy. I don't know, and don't wish to, why you hate him so, but the stories told about him make it easy to guess. If le duc were a great hero of France—a Jean Bart, for example—I should poison you before suffering you to harm him. But as matters stand, Monsieur le duc is a poltroon, absent for months when he is most needed. Wise was le Roi in subordinating him to Monsieur le marquis de Seignelay. But now that de Seignelay is dying, the duc d'Arcachon will try to reassert his former eminence, which shall prove a disaster to the Navy and to France."

  "So you see yourself as doing the King's work."

  "I see myself as serving the King's ends." Madame la duchesse d'Oyonnax removed from her waistband a pale-green cylinder, scarcely bigger than a child's finger, and displayed it on the palm of her gloved hand. She was standing several paces away, which forced Eliza to approach her. Eliza did so in spite of a sudden horripilation that had spread over her scalp like a slick of burning oil. Her hands were clasped together in front of her stomach, in part to keep them warm—but in part to keep them close to a slim dagger that she was in the habit of hiding at the waist of her dress. Which was a queer thing to be thinking about, here and now; but she would not put anything past the Duchess, and wanted to be ready in the event that Oyonnax tried to throw something in her face or jab her with a poisoned needle.

  "You'll never appreciate how easy this is going to be compared to a typical poisoning," said Oyonnax in a light conversational tone, as if this would set Eliza at ease. Eliza had now drawn close enough to see the green thing: a tiny phial such as might be used for perfume, carved out of jade, bound in bands of silver, with a silver stopper on a fragile chain. "Don't dab this behind your ears," said the Duchess.

  "Is it one of those that is absorbed through the skin?"

  "No, but it smells bad."

  "Then le duc will certainly notice it in a drink."

  "Yes—but not in his food. You know of his peculiar tastes?"

  "I know more than I should care to of that."

  "This is what I mean when I say it is going to be easy for you. Normally an ingested poison must be tasteless, and such are frequently ineffective. This stuff is as deadly as it is foul—yet le duc will never notice it when it is mixed with a meal of rotten fish. All that you need to do is to find some way of getting into the private kitchen where his dreadful repast is prepared. This will not be a trivial matter—yet it will be much easier than the machinations most people must go through."

  "Most poisoners, you mean…"

  Oyonnax did not respond to—perhaps did not even understand—the correction. "Take it, or don't," she said, "I'll not stand here like this any longer."

  Eliza reached out to pluck the phial from Oyonnax's palm. As she did so, the other's larger hand closed around hers, and then Oyonnax brought her other hand over and clamped it on top, so that Eliza's fist, clenched around the green phial, was swallowed up between the Duchess's hands. Eliza was staring fixedly at this, having no desire whatever to see the Duchess's face, now so close to hers. But Oyonnax would not let go; and so finally Eliza turned her head that way, and, with some effort, raised her eyes to gaze directly into those of Oyonnax. She could not bear to do so for more than a moment; but it seemed that this was enough for the Duchess to be satisfied. Satisfied of what, Eliza did not know. But Oyonnax gave Eliza's fist one last squeeze and pushed it towards Eliza's breast, then released her. "It is done," said the Duchess. "You shall accomplish it tonight, then?"

  "It is already too late—I must get ready."

  "Soon, then."

  "It can never be soon enough for me."

  "People will talk, after it happens," said the Duchess. "Pay them no mind, and have patience. It is not whether this or that person believes you to be a murderer, or even can prove it, but whether they have the dignity necessary to level such an accusation."

  BRITTLE DISJOINTED HOURS FOLLOWED. Monsieur le comte de Pontchartrain, and later the King himself, did not leave off sending messengers around to inquire as to the whereabouts of the duc d'Arcachon. For some reason these all wanted to speak to Eliza—as if she were expected to know things that the Duchess of Arcachon did not. This in no way simplified preparations for the soirée. Eliza had to get coiffed and dressed while holding at bay these inquisitive messengers, who, as the afternoon wore on, were of progressively higher rank. Finally, near dusk, a coach and four rattled into the court, and Eliza called out "Hallelujah!" She could not run to the window because a pair of engineers were braiding extensions into her hair; but someone else did, and disappointed them all by reporting that it was merely Étienne d'Arcachon.

  "He'll do," said, Eliza, "now they'll pester him instead of me."

  But presently, word filtered up that Étienne had literally called out the cavalry—despatched riders of his own personal regiment, on the swiftest mounts, to probe southwards along the roads that his father was most likely to take north, with instructions to wheel round and gallop back to the Hôtel Arcachon the moment they saw the Duke's distinctive white carriage. This would give at least a few minutes' warning of the Duke's arrival—which was of the highest importance to Étienne, the Politest Man in France, as it would have been a grave embarrassment for the King to attend a Duke's birthday-party only to be snubbed, in the end, by the guest of honor. This way, the King could continue to bide his time in the Royal Palais du Louvre—which was only a few minutes' ride away—and come to the Hôtel Arcachon (which was in the Marais, not far off the Pont d'Arcole) only when positive word had been received that the Duke was on his way.

  So Eliza was pestered no further by messengers; but now Étienne d'Arcachon wished to have a private audience with her. And so did Monsieur le comte d'Avaux. And so did Father Édouard de Gex. She told her hairdressers to work faster, and to forget about the last tier in the ziggurat of counter-rotating braids that was rising into the heavens above her pate.

  "MADEMOISELLE, ALLOW ME THE HONOR of being the first to compliment your beauty—"

  "I would prefer it if you were as keen to get out of my way as to hurl flattery at me, Monsieur le comte," said Eliza, brushing past d'Avaux. "I am on my way to speak with Étienne de Lavardac in the chapel."

  "I shall escort you," d'Avaux announced.

  Such had been the vehemence of Eliza's passage that her skirts had bullwhipped around d'Avaux's ankles and his sword, and nearly upended him, but he had more aplomb than any ten other French diplomats, and so presently appeared on her arm, looking as perfectly composed as an embalmed corpse.

  They were hurrying down a gallery that had been obstructed by servants balancing food-trays and carrying party-decorations; but when these saw the onrushing Count and Countess, they took shelter in the le
es of pilasters or ducked into niches.

  "I would be remiss if I failed to express to you, mademoiselle, my concern over the choices you have lately been making as to social contacts."

  "What!? Who!? The de Lavardac family? Pontchartrain? Monsieur Rossignol?"

  "It is precisely because you are so frequently seen in the company of these fine persons, that you must reconsider your decision to associate with the likes of Madame la duchesse d'Oyonnax."

  Now Eliza's free hand strayed to her waistband, for she had a sudden terror that the green phial would fall out and shatter on the floor and fill the gallery with a smell as foul as her intentions. It was such an obvious gesture that d'Avaux would have seen it, had he been facing her; but he was looking in another direction.

  "Like it or not, monsieur, she is a fixture of Court, and I cannot pretend she doesn't exist."

  "Yes, but to have private meetings with such a woman, as you have done three times in the last two months—"

  "Who has been counting, monsieur?"

  "Everyone, mademoiselle. That is my point. Even though you may be pure as snow—"

  "Your sarcasm is rude."

  "This is a rude conversation, being a hurried one. As I was saying, you might be as upright as de Maintenon herself. But if and when Monsieur le duc d'Arcachon dies—"

  "How can you speak of this, on his birthday!?"

  "One year closer to death, mademoiselle. And even if the manner of his death is as innocent as falling from a horse, or going down on a sinking ship, people will say you had something to do with it, if you continue to tryst in dark places with Oyonnax."

  "Anyone can bandy accusations. Few have the dignity to make them count."

  "Is that what Oyonnax told you?"

  This left Eliza speechless for a turn; so d'Avaux continued: "I was born a count, you were made a countess; I am one of those few who can accuse you."

  "You really are hideous."

  "I accused you before, after you spied for the Prince of Orange; but you escaped trouble, because you were doing it for Madame, and because you paid. Now you are alone, and you have no money. I do not know who it is precisely that you mean to poison: perhaps the Duke, perhaps Étienne, perhaps one and then the other. I am strongly tempted to wait and to watch as you do these crimes, and then destroy you—for to see you chained to a stone wall in the Bastille would be most satisfying to me. But I cannot allow a Duke and Peer of the Realm to suffer murder, merely to slake my own base cravings. And so I warn you, mademoiselle, not to—"

  "Kill me," said a voice from ahead of them.

  D'Avaux and Eliza, still clamped together side by side, arm in arm, had reached the ancient double doors at the back of the chapel, and gone through. It looked entirely different now. Eliza half supposed they had come into the wrong room. The sun had gone down, so no light came through the windows; but hundreds of candles were now burning on scores of silver candelabras. Their light gleamed on the polished backs of many gilded chairs, which in lieu of pews had been arranged on the stone floor—no, on a Persian carpet laid over the floor. The altar was covered in a white silk cloth encrusted with gold brocade, though this was difficult to see, as the front half of the chapel had been turned into a fragrant jungle of white flowers. Eliza's first thought, oddly, was, Where the hell did those come from at this time of the year? but the answer must have been some nobleman's stifling Orangerie.

  Étienne de Lavardac d'Arcachon, attired in full-dress cavalry colonel's uniform, was sprawled on the carpet at the base of the altar, posed like an artist's model. Resting on the carpet before him, at the head of the aisle, were two shiny objects: a serpentine dagger, and a golden ring.

  D'Avaux had stiffened up so violently that Eliza half hoped he was undergoing a stroke. But his grip on her arm slackened, and he began to retreat.

  Étienne was having none of that; he jumped to his feet. "Stay! If you please, Monsieur le comte. Your presence here is fortuitous and most welcome. For it were improper for me to meet with Mademoiselle la comtesse without some chaperon; which, as I have lain here awaiting her, has been troubling me more than words have power to express."

  "I am at your service, monseigneur," said d'Avaux, watching beneath a creviced brow as the nimble young Arcachon collapsed to the floor, and resumed his former pose.

  "Kill me, mademoiselle!"

  "I beg your pardon, monsieur?"

  "My suffering is unendurable. Please end it by taking up yon flamboyant dagger, and plunging it into my breast."

  "But I have no wish to kill you, Monsieur de Lavardac," said Eliza, and threw d'Avaux a vicious glare; but d'Avaux was far too profoundly taken aback to notice.

  "Then there is only one other way in which my suffering can be ended; but it is too much to hope for," said Étienne. And his eyes fell on the band of gold.

  "Your discourse is fascinating—but strangely clouded," said Eliza. She was moving cautiously up the aisle toward Étienne. D'Avaux, trapped, stood at attention in the back.

  "I would be more direct, but such a magnificent being are you, and such a base Vagabond am I, that even to give voice to my desire is unforgivably rude."

  "I have comments. First, you may be over-praising me, but I forgive you. Second, I know something of Vagabonds, and you are not one. Third, if you must be rude in order to say what is on your mind, then please be rude. For considering what it is that you appear to be asking—"

  The chapel door whacked open and in stormed an officer, dressed in the same regimental colors as Étienne, but of less plumage. He stopped in the aisle and turned white as a freshly picked orchid, and was unable to speak.

  But everyone knew what he was going to say. Eliza came out with it first. "Monsieur, you have news of Monsieur le duc?"

  "Forgive me, mademoiselle—yes—if you please—his carriage has been sighted, coming on at great velocity—he shall be here in an hour."

  "Has word of this been sent to the Palais du Louvre?" asked Étienne.

  "Just as you directed, monsieur."

  "Very well. You are dismissed."

  The officer was more than glad to be dismissed. He took a last beady look around, then bowed, and backed down the aisle. As he was going arse-first out the door, he rammed someone who was attempting to come in. There was an exchange of abject apologies back in the shadows; then in stalked a robed and hooded figure, looking like Death without the scythe. He pulled back the hood to reveal the pale face, the dark eyes, and the carefully managed facial hair of Father Édouard de Gex; and the look on his face proved that he was as surprised, not to say alarmed, by all of this as anyone else.

  "I say, was this all planned?" demanded Eliza.

  "I received an anonymous note suggesting that I should be ready to perform the sacrament of marriage on short notice," said de Gex, "but—"

  "You had better be ready to perform the sacrament of extreme unction, if the young Arcachon does not untie his tongue, or hide that dagger," said Eliza, "and as to short notice—well—a lady requires a little more time!" And she stomped out of the chapel.

  "My lady!" called de Gex several times as he pursued her down a gallery; but she had not the slightest intention of being called back in there, and so she ignored him until she was a safe distance removed from the chapel, and had reached a more frequented part of the house. By that point, de Gex had caught up with her. "My lady!"

  "I'm not going back."

  "It is not my design to coax you back. You are the person I wished to see. For when Monsieur Rossignol and I made inquiries as to your whereabouts, they said you had gone to the chapel. It was never my intention to interrupt a—"

  "You interrupted nothing. Why were you with Monsieur Rossignol?"

  "He has got some new messages from the Esphahnians."

  "The who?"

  "The Armenians. Come. Please. I pray you. It's important."

  FATHER ÉDOUARD DE GEX ESCORTED Eliza to the library as fast as he could walk, which meant that he kept edging ahead. The most direc
t route took them through the grand ballroom of the Hôtel Arcachon. Here, though, he faltered, and fell behind. Eliza wheeled about. De Gex was gazing up at the ceiling. This was understandable, for the de Lavardacs had hired Le Brun himself to paint it, and he had only recently finished. It was a colossal tableau featuring Apollo (always a stand-in for Louis XIV) gathering the Virtues about him in the bright center while exiling the Vices to the gloomy corners. The Virtues were not sufficiently numerous to fill the space, and so the Muses were there, too, singing songs, composing poetry, &c. about how great the Virtues were. Along the edges of the piece, diverse earthly humans (courtiers on one side, peasants on the next, then soldiers, then churchmen) listened adoringly to, or gazed rapturously at, the Virtue-promoting works of the Muses whilst generally turning their backs to, or aiming scornful glares at, all of those Vices crowded into the corners. Just to make it sporting, though, you might see, if you looked carefully enough, a Soldier succumbing to Cowardice, a Priest to Gluttony, a Courtier to Lust, or a Peasant to Sloth.

  So everyone who came in here looked at the ceiling; but the expression on the face of de Gex was most peculiar. Rather than being dazzled by the splendour of the work, he looked as if he were expecting the ceiling to fall in on them.