by Stacy Lee
The shower doesn’t help my anxiety or my edginess or the gnawing ache deep in my belly and soon I climb back out and try to get dressed. Try being the important word here. The shirt is three sizes too big and hangs only slightly tighter than Dare’s does. The pants fall off as soon as I let them go. I wore a size double zero and these, when I check the label, are a size three. They would never work. With frustration I storm back into our room and dig another of Dare’s shirts from his drawer. I sure hope he came back before his brothers were due. There was no way I was parading in front of five strange men in his shirt!
With a deep breath I give up trying to portray calmness and storm to the kitchen to cook. Maybe that will relax me. I doubt it. I needed Dare.
Chapter Nine
Lunch is almost ready. Cash’s brownies are in the oven baking and the only thing I have left to do is toss the salad and brown the bread. Dare didn’t have much of a variety in the kitchen so I went with simple because the ingredients were all there. A salad, spaghetti and meatballs, garlic bread and brownies. I’m sure it would taste nothing like a meal Fin cooked but it would have to work.
I pace back and forth in front of the stove waiting for the timer to go off. I couldn’t burn the brownies. I needed them to make Cash less intimidating. He had been the one that scared me during The Choosing and all he had said was his name. I needed the damn brownies to be perfect. I stop to crack open the stove but they are still wet in the center.
Arms wrap around my waist and pull me into a hard chest as I rise and shut the door. The smell of woods and man with a hint of cinnamon waft to me over the chocolate smell of brownies. I lean back into him relaxing for the first time this morning. How this man could have this effect on me when every other man in the world sends me running for the hills I have no idea, but he does and I’m beginning to enjoy it. Without a word he slides my hair off my shoulder and sinks his teeth in slowly.
With his first pull the aggravation I’ve been feeling for hours wanes. With his second the irritation slides away. With his third deep drink my warring nerves calm to peaceful. I am putty in his hands. Is this what I was missing all day? Being in his arms, having him near me and the exhilarating feel of satisfying him as no one else can? It was only my blood he drank, craved, wanted. Only me. I smile with the thought as he pulls free and licks the wound. I am slightly light headed but in much better spirits.
He rests his chin on the top of my head, a satisfied sigh coming from him. His body behind me has lost the tension he carries with him always. His arms are loose around me while still holding me tight to him. If I didn’t know better I’d say that calmed him as much as it did me.
“It smells good in here. Can I ask you a question?” I nod, too relaxed to speak. “Why are you still in my shirt? Don’t get me wrong, it doesn’t bother me but I would have thought you would want to wear real clothes with my brothers coming.” I turn in his arms to face him.
“They didn’t fit.” He cocks his head at me in confusion. “The clothes Angie brought. They are three sizes too big. The shirt could work but the pants fall off. I can’t wear them in front of your brothers unless you want me to moon them because I still don’t have any underwear.” He grins. “It’s not funny, Dare.” I playfully slap him on the chest. He catches my wrist then surprises me with a soft kiss to my palm.
“I know. After they leave we can go to the store and find you some clothes.” My eyes grow huge.
“Dare, I am not wearing your shirt with your brothers here! If I bend even barely you can see all the way down the front. Not to mention, my ass hangs out.” He loops his finger in the neckline and pulls it away from my body. A sensual hum comes from deep in his chest before he drops it.
“You’re right, can’t have them seeing what’s mine.” His eyes flinch with his words but he keeps going not giving me a chance to ask why. “Let me go see what I can find. I’m sure someone has something.” He pulls me in for a kiss. When I don’t open immediately for him he bites my lower lip commanding me to accept him. I obey the obvious unspoken demand. Instantly he plunges deep and hard taking my breath away. When he pulls back he kisses my forehead then backs away. “If I don’t walk away now you will be wearing the shirt.” He smirks then turns and leaves the room.
I check the brownies, turn off the ringing timer I hadn’t heard and decide to give them a few more minutes. Sprinting to the bedroom I brush my hair then pull it back and braid it. Eyeing his computer on the desk I sit and pull up my web based email account to kill a few more minutes before returning to take out the dessert.
The first email to pop up draws my attention. It’s from Dirk. His emails had been getting more demanding and perverse everyday up until he kid-napped me at gun point from my home. This is the first one I have received since then. The mouse hovers over the delete button, at the last second I change my mind. With trepidation I open it.
Naveen,
My love. I want to apologize for leaving you in the woods. I tried to find you but you must have wondered too far away. Please let me know you made it out safely. I have been to your house but nothing has been touched.
I am looking forward to our next meeting immensely. I can’t wait to finish what we started together. I know you will accept my offer this time and allow me to be gentler with you. The first time hurts enough without me having to hold you down and force myself inside you. But if that is the only way to make you see how good we will be together then you will leave me no choice, my love. I will have you. I will be inside you soon. No matter what. You will see this is meant to be. You are mine.
Dirk
By the time I finish reading tears are streaming down my face. The only thought in my head is ‘I’m not yours. I’m Dare’s.’ I should have just deleted it. I drop my elbows to the desk and cry into my hands. How did I not see how crazy he was?
I had known this man for two years and until he started sending me similar emails about a month ago I never knew he was insane. I worked three jobs to make ends meet. One of them is a little coffee shop I work the early morning shift at, three am to eight, before moving to the full time job as a secretary for a realtor in town during the week and the local dinner on weekends.
Dirk was a fairly regular customer at the coffee shop when I first started. He is an author of suspense books who keeps strange hours all through the night. He lived in a little apartment on the bad side of town and would escape the noises of night to sit at the shop and work. He said the quiet and the company inspired him. I argued it was the mass amounts of coffee causing hallucinations.
At first I waited on him only speaking to him when I must, however over the last two years he’s wore me down and pulled me from the safety of my shell. Before all hell broke loose and he lost his mind he was a permanent fixture in the shop during my shift. He even kept me safe a few times from pushy homeless men looking for handouts or a warm place to sit in the early morning chill. When his emails started getting weirder and weirder I had let it slide pushing it off on the type of books he writes. When he showed up at my house insisting I leave with him then pulling a gun when I refused, I saw them for what they were. A spiral into insanity. For the first time since finding Dare I was grateful I wasn’t home.
“Who is Dirk?” The ominous voice behind me scares the crap out of me. I jump up and slam the computer shut as I twist to see Dare’s enraged face. “Marnie, I need you to answer me. Now.” The last word is a growl.
“The man in the clearing.” I whisper immediately with no thought to disobey him.
“The man who tried to rape you?” I whimper and nod. “Did you respond?” I shake my head furiously. Hell no, responding only made it get weirder.
“I never respond. I usually delete them without reading them. I don’t know why I opened it.” My voice hitches as fresh tears fall down my cheeks. His face softens and he pulls me into his chest wrapping his arms around me. He lets me cry for only a minute before he lifts me from my feet and carries me to the bed.
He sits on the edge pulling me tight in his lap and just lets me cry it out. I hadn’t broken down since it happened. I told myself I needed to get out of the woods before I broke down. I would have plenty of time at home for tears. Then I ran into Dare and I hadn’t had time to break down other than the small cry in the shower. He had kept my mind busy till now.
Several minutes pass before a smell registers in my foggy brain. I emit a distressed whimper and shove from his arms racing for the kitchen. I throw open the oven and sink to my knees on the floor. The brownies were burnt to a crisp. I needed the brownies for Cash not to scare me. I needed them perfect. They weren’t perfect. They were destroyed. Just like me.
I finally let it go. Dropping my head in my hands I cry pitiful gulping sobs. Nose running down my face sobs. Hiccup inducing sobs.
I was pathetic. Just like Uncle said.
****
I pull the burnt dessert from the oven then shut the door. Next I grab my phone and send a message to my brothers telling them to wait another half hour then toss it on the counter ignoring the responses. I wasn’t sure if this is in response to the email, the attack or the brownies but she needed longer than ten minutes to pull it together and I would give her that even if I had to push them off for hours.
I ease myself on the floor behind her then gently, as not to scare her, run my hand up her back before pulling her into my lap. Her sobs tear my heart in two. My only job was to protect her and when she needed me most I’d been only a few miles away chasing Stroli. It didn’t matter I hadn’t met her yet. I should have heard the commotion and went to check it out. I should have been there for her. I wasn’t. I would be now. Her body begins to rock back and forth and I let myself pick up the rhythm rocking with her.
“It’s going to be alright, Parvulum. I won’t let him near you again.” She hiccups and shakes her head. “No, what?” I ask softly.
“It’s not that. He doesn’t know where I am, I’m safe with you.” She sputters between gulps of air. Her statement makes my chest fill with pride. Yesterday she wouldn’t have said those words. She didn’t believe I was safe then.
“Then what is it?”
“I burnt the brownies!” She wails. I bite my lip to keep from laughing. It wasn’t funny.
“They’re just brownies, Marnie. No big deal.” She pulls away from me still shaking her head. Her eyes are big and round, terror and humility comingle in their depths.
“No! I need the brownies. They were for Cash! Angie said he loves brownies. If I have brownies I won’t be scared of him. I burnt the brownies!” She shrieks then buries her head in my chest. I knew it was more than the brownies. More than Cash even. I also understand your mind can only focus on one tragedy at a time and right now she felt she needed those brownies to get through meeting my brothers.
“Does Cash scare you that much?” Why she had chosen Cash out of all five of them, I’m not sure. Yes he was big but we all were.
“No, he doesn’t scare me. He terrifies me. Even in The Choosing I ran from him. He no more than finished his name and I was running on to you in order to flee him. I need to make him less intimidating. He has to eat the brownie mix and get chocolate on his face. Without the brownies I can’t see him like that. I need to see him like that.” Her crying has slowed and her speech easier to understand but I still had no clue what she meant. I don’t think Cash has ever ate brownie mix before and to get him to put chocolate on his face would be a challenge. But I go with it.
“Then let’s make more brownies.” Again, she shakes her head.
“I used all the cocoa you had. You didn’t have a box mix so I made them from memory.” Memory? Didn’t most people use a recipe for things like that? Even Fin, who cooks a lot, used recipes for his deserts.
“I am sure Fin has everything you need. I can give him a call and get him to bring it over. No big deal.” She digs her palms in her eyes pressing them hard then begins to mumble.
“Fin is a monkey dressed like a clown with a cake in the shape of a bow in his hands.” She has lost me again but it doesn’t stop my light chuckle. “He likes to cook, he will not like that I burnt the brownies. You can’t call him. He can’t know I burnt the brownies.” Where was she getting this information from? I rack my brain then remember mentioning to Angie that her stitches needed to come out. With a quick glance I confirm the obvious. She must have asked about them and Angie would have willingly praised her friends. Cash’s fondness for brownies and Fin’s penchant for cooking sounded like something Angie would say to ease her mind.
“I won’t tell him. Now come on. Up you go.” I stand and pull her to her feet. Yes, she needed to let it out but she didn’t need time to wallow in it. I needed to get her busy again. “There is a dress on the bed, go put it on then come back. We have brownies to make. Is cocoa all you need?” She nods absently as she leaves the room. I pick up my phone and dial Fin. I lean my body against the wall between the front room and dining room so I can see down the hall. Our door is shut and if I’m not mistaken, locked.
“Done already?” He laughs out when he answers.
“I need you to bring cocoa and get your ass over here, now.” My voice barely registers to myself, I know she can’t hear it. Her body can heal but she still has another day before everything else kicks in. I don’t know what I’d do then.
“Dare? Cocoa?” He asks confused.
“I can’t really explain everything. Just let me say this, you don’t know she burnt the brownies, you don’t know she just had a mental breakdown and you don’t know she is terrified if she doesn’t have brownies Cash is going to scare her to death. Now grab the fucking cocoa and get your ass to my house.” I hang up without giving him time to answer. Stalking back to the kitchen I dispose of the evidence and wash the pan.
“I could have done that.” She says from behind me. I finish drying it and lay it on the stove. Turning to her I scan the dress and am happy it almost fits. It’s a pale pink sundress with small white flowers smattered over it with wide shoulders and a straight neckline that covered her nicely. It was a little snug up top and a little shorter than I would have liked with my brothers being here but it was longer and less revealing than my shirt. I hope she doesn’t ask where it came from till she calms down because if she knew it was a child’s of age twelve she might not get through this. I scan her from head to toe and am pleased I couldn’t tell she had been crying if I didn’t know. The only thing I can’t help her with at the moment is her bare feet. That would have to wait.
“That looks nice on you. Come here.” She willingly walks into my open arms.
“I’m sorry.” She mumbles into my chest as she wraps her arms around me tightly.
“No, Parvulum. No need for that. I told you on the chopper, we all break down at some point. It was time, Marnie. I realized earlier that a lot had happened over the last four days and I had plans to talk to you about it after they left to make sure you were doing okay. We just did it first, that’s all.” I kiss her forehead and hug her tighter.
“Dare?” Her voice is hesitant like she was afraid of how I would answer.
“Yes?”
“I know this is going to sound….weird but will you bite me? Please?” My brows shoot up but I don’t question her. I was always up for a taste of her. Leaning my head down I slip my fangs into her tense neck. With each pull her body relaxes and it becomes clear why she asked. When I withdraw even her expression has softened, becoming less stressful.
“Better?” I rasp out. It may relax her but it did the opposite to me.
“Yes. Thank you. When your brothers leave I’ll help you with that problem.” Her finger glides across the thick ridge in my pants. Her face is still tilted towards the floor but I hear the humor in her voice. As I reach to pull her into me I hear my door slide open. I sigh, Fin was here. This was going to be a long meal. She turns away from me and busies herself with greasing the pan and gathering a bowl and other things out of cupboards.
“Someone need cocoa
?” Fin asks jubilantly as he walks into the kitchen. He sits a container on the counter then gives me a questioning look. I shake my head minutely.
“Marnie, let me introduce you to Fin.” She takes a deep breath before turning around and stepping towards him.
“Monkey in a clown suit with a cake in the shape of a bow.” She mutters as she gets closer. Fin sends me a puzzled look but doesn’t comment. She still hasn’t realized we can hear her. “Nice to meet you properly, Fin. Don’t drug my food today, okay?” She gives him a fake grin and when he chuckles I’m glad he didn’t call her on it.
“No drugs, I promise. So what are we making with cocoa?” He asks her before shoving the container closer to her and further away from him. He listened to my warning earlier and is trying to give her space. After seeing that footage I think they all will.
“Brownies. Cash likes brownies.” She mutters, the second half was for herself, not us.
“Are you using a recipe?” He looks around the kitchen.
“By memory.” Comes her short answer. She wasn’t being rude but she wasn’t being friendly. However, she was trying and hadn’t run from the room yet. I’d take it.
“Memory? Really? Do you mind if I watch? I could always use a new recipe.” She shrugs then thinks better of it.
“That’s fine.” Fin takes a seat on a bar stool and I decide it might be better to give them a moment. Fin would be the easiest brother to deal with and if her confidence was built up by him maybe she would make it. I desperately needed to deal with an email.
“I need to run to our room for just a minute. You’ll keep her company, Fin?” I ask pinning him with a look. He nods to me returning it. He would keep an eye on her for me. If she had an issue he’d call. I turn to leave the room and hear her breathing stutter behind me. I force myself to keep walking. “I’ll be right back.” Her whimper follows me down the hallway.
