by Amelia Judd
Kat nodded. Hannah was right. She needed to know for sure.
Her sister pulled her in for a quick hug. “It’s going to be okay,” she repeated, then grabbed her purse and bolted out of the apartment.
Kat hugged her knees to her chest as a kaleidoscope of scenarios whirled through her mind. How would Logan react to an accidental pregnancy? Would he stick around? Stay in Silver Bay to be with his child? With her? What if he thought she got pregnant on purpose to trap him? Would he propose because it was the right thing to do? And if he did propose, would she accept knowing he’d only done it for the baby?
One thing she knew for sure, when the dust settled, Logan would make a great dad. He was kind, funny, generous, and truly cared about others. He might look like sex walking, but there was so much more to him. No matter what happened between them, he’d be there for his child.
The image of him holding a tiny baby in his big hands flashed through her mind. Her heart swelled to bursting and pounded in her chest as realization slammed into her.
She loved him. Baby or no baby … she loved him.
Un-frickin’-believable. She’d fallen for Logan even though he didn’t do love.
Kat’s head spun and her vision blurred. She frantically gulped in air and tried to slow her heartbeat before she passed out. Life-changing revelations could do a number on the nervous system.
Finally, she heard Hannah open the door to the café downstairs. A moment later, her sister jogged up the steps with a triumphant smile. “I got one.” She held up a small white paper bag. “It took me three stops, but I finally found a pierced-up teenager working behind a counter. The kid didn’t know or care who I was or what I was buying. We’re in the clear.”
Kat gave her a weak grin. “Thanks. The last thing I need is word getting back to Dad.” She boosted herself off the couch. “Here goes everything.”
In less time than it took her to brush her teeth, Kat took the test. She paced the small bathroom waiting for the result. Whether it turned out to be positive or negative, she knew her life had already changed.
She’d finally admitted to herself that she loved Logan and wanted him to stay with her—baby or no baby—forever.
The timer on her phone beeped at the two-minute mark. Holding her breath and heart pounding in her throat, she wrapped her arms around herself and leaned over the counter to read the results.
The bright green plus sign dropped her stomach to her toes. She took two steps back, bumped against the wall, and slowly slid to the floor.
She loved Logan.
She was carrying his baby in her belly.
And she didn’t want a half-assed, water-downed version of a family where they lived separate lives while raising a child together—she wanted a fairy-tale ending.
She tipped her head against the cold tile wall and rolled her eyes at her own idiocy.
Unbelievable.
She’d turned into a lovesick fool desperate for a frickin’ happily-ever-after with a guy who was leaving town in two weeks. And even though her gut told her Logan would either stay in Silver Bay or return to town frequently once he found out about the baby, she wanted more.
She wanted him to stick with her—not because of the baby, but because he loved her.
Kat pushed herself to her feet as a bare-bones plan took shape in her mind. She stepped out of the bathroom and gave her worried looking sis a weak smile.
“It’s positive.”
“Oh, Kat.” Hannah’s face scrunched with concern as she stepped toward Kat, arms outstretched.
“It’s okay.” Kat held up her hand to stop her advance. “I haven’t totally freaked out yet, and I’d like to keep it that way. So let’s dial down the emotion. And speaking of overly emotional, you’ve gotta promise me you won’t tell anyone. Not Claire. Not Mom. Not Sage. Not anyone.”
“Are you keeping the baby?”
Not entirely sure her voice would hold, Kat nodded in confirmation.
“Then they’re going to find out.” Hannah’s voice raised in volume as she slowly enunciated each word.
“Yeah, but I can’t tell them if I’m not telling Logan.”
Her sister’s eyes went wide. “You’re not telling Logan you’re pregnant? Bad idea, Kat.” Hannah shook her head rapidly, her dark ponytail emphasizing her words as it whipped from side to side. “You have to tell him.”
“Chill out. I have a plan,” Kat said, sounding a lot more confident than she felt.
“You’re going to need one hell of a plan to justify keeping the father of your child in the dark.” Hannah followed her to the small kitchen at the far end of the room.
Kat scooped up a handful of almonds from a hand-painted bowl on the countertop. “You’re supposed to fall in love, commit to one another, and then make a baby, right? Well, Logan and I kinda skipped the first two steps and jumped straight to the third. I think I can pull it all back on track, but I can’t tell him I’m pregnant yet.” She popped the nuts into her mouth and started munching.
“This plan of yours is making my eyelid twitch.” Hannah pressed two fingertips to her closed eye. “Just to be clear, that is so not a good sign.”
“I love him.” Kat shrugged, “And I have to know if he wants me in his life before he finds out he’s stuck with me there.”
“Oh, Kat. I’m a realist, and this sounds like a really, really bad idea. Please just tell him about the baby.”
Kat thought about it a beat. “I will tell him. Soon. But not before I find out if he’s willing to stay in Silver Bay to be with me. Just me.”
“Fine.” Hannah blew out an exasperated breath. “Then please tell me how you plan to figure that out before you almost pass out again or barf on him?”
“Easy.” Kat drew in a long breath and tipped her head from side-to-side, trying to ease the tension already tightening her neck and shoulders. “I’ll ask him. Tonight.”
Hannah blinked. “What are you going to say? ‘Logan, I know you’re leaving the country soon, but I was wondering if you’d rather give up your carefree life of adventure and excitement to grow old with me instead?’ ”
“Well, jeez, I’ll phrase it better than that,” Kat grumbled.
Hannah cocked an eyebrow.
“I’ll be persuasive … you know, point out some of my more endearing qualities.”
“Will that be enough for him to stay?”
“Only one way to find out.” Kat tipped up her chin, squared her tense shoulders, and headed for the door.
•••
Logan turned onto the lane leading to the cottage. He had two weeks left in Silver Bay and only twelve nights left sharing the cottage with Kat. His hands tightened on the wheel. He didn’t want to leave Silver Bay, and he sure as hell didn’t want to leave Kat. But their relationship had never been meant for the long haul.
Forcing himself to relax his hands, he pulled to a stop, scooped up the wildflowers he’d picked on the way home, and climbed from the car. In thirteen days, the lease started on Kat’s new place. They’d found her a small apartment in a secure building near the town’s college that even had a security service to monitor the parking lot and entranceway via cameras. Kat said she’d be fine living there alone, but he still was worried about her.
He hated to think she’d have no one to turn to once he left Silver Bay. He’d tried to convince her to tell her family about the mugging. In typically Kat fashion, she’d refused, claiming she didn’t need their help. Turned out his Kat didn’t need help with much of anything. He’d been filling her in on his experience with the best way to launch and manage SAS, but she was already well equipped to hit the ground running when she started full-time next week.
He entered the cottage and scanned the area, his pulse kicking up at the thought of seeing her. While lively music filled the room and a trio of tiered candles burned atop the coffee table, he didn’t see Kat anywhere. The delicious smell of warm balsamic vinegar mixed with olive oil and basil coming from the oven, however, mea
nt she was cooking one of his favorite chicken dishes for dinner and couldn’t be too far away.
When he stepped farther into the room and heard the shower running, he hustled into the kitchen. He should have enough time to put the flowers in water before she returned to the cozy scene he’d come home to.
Huh. Home? It’d been a long time since anywhere he lived had felt like home. And while the cottage was great, he knew Kat was the real reason he loved living there. Shit. He shook his head, trying to push away the thought. Like a complete fuck-up, he’d fallen for Kat. Leaving her might bloody well kill him, but he didn’t have a choice. He’d learned the hard way—no woman wanted to spend forever with a bloke who had no fucking future to speak of.
The only way he’d survive was by leaving before she came to her bloody senses and kicked his arse out. It wouldn’t take a smart lady like Kat long to realize how little he had to offer her. Soon she would want more from him than fantastic sex, and except for keeping her safe at night, he had nothing else to give her.
She’d been upfront from the beginning. She’d only wanted him for great sex and fun memories. He’d done everything in his power to give her both. Hopefully that would be enough for her to remember him.
He’d damn well never forget her.
•••
Kat decided a walk along the beach after making Logan his favorite dinner would be the best time to pop her doozy of a question. So here they were, walking along the shore, hand in hand, enjoying a beautiful late-August sunset together. The warm breeze rolled melodic waves onto the sand and swirled her long hair around her shoulders. It was all very romantic. Or it would be if she didn’t feel like she could puke at any moment.
She was so nervous she couldn’t think straight. It had only been a few hours since the tiny green plus sign announced the very big change coming in her future. While the possibility of Logan sharing that future with her made her heart swell with a bunch of sappy emotions, the knowledge that asking Logan to stay might send him running for the hills did a swell job holding her enthusiasm in check.
Damn. How’d guys do this? It took a hell of a lot more bravery to put herself on the line than she’d ever realized. Kat felt ready to hyperventilate, and all she planned to do was ease Logan into the idea of sticking around longer, fearing that asking for any bigger commitment at this point could scare him away for good.
Hopefully, when she asked him to stay, he’d say yes. And if not? She shook that anxiety-raising thought from her head. No need to stress out about him ditching her until it actually happened. She’d cross that crappy-ass bridge when and if she ever got to it.
“Pax called today. Sounds like he and Sage had an ace time hiking to Machu Picchu.”
“Huh?” Kat mumbled, barely able to hear Logan over the pounding sound of her own heartbeat.
“Your brother and Sage are back in Costa Rica from their trip to Peru, ay.”
“Oh.”
She could feel Logan laughing as he slung an arm around her shoulder, hugged her into his side, and kissed the top of her head. “You’re the one who suggested we take a walk, but your mind is somewhere far away.”
Ugh. He was right. She needed to man up. Slipping from his embrace, Kat took a step away from the warmth of his solid body, tipped her chin up, and waited for him to meet her gaze.
He turned to look at her, his handsome face marred with unease. “What’s going on, tiger?”
“Moment of truth.” She tipped her head from side to side to work out some of the tension, then locked her gaze on his. “I lied to you.” She shoved her fisted hands into the pockets of her stretchy skirt. “I said that the summer would be enough. But it’s not. I’d like you to stay longer.” She sucked in a quick breath. “I’m not ready for you to leave.”
A muscle jumped in Logan’s jaw. “How much longer you reckon until you are ready for me to leave? A month? Maybe two?”
Kat reared back, surprised by his hard tone. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Would you rather just let me know when you’re tired of me so I can take off then?”
“No.” Kat shook her head. “Of course not.” She couldn’t make sense of the intense waves of emotion radiating off of Logan’s rigid body.
What the hell? Kat’s rising frustration did an ace job clearing away her confusion. She stepped forward and poked him in the chest. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I never said I’d get tired of you, jerkface. I was trying to tell you that I like you more than a little bit. In fact, I like you more than a lot of bits.” Kat crossed her arms over her chest and glared up at the big idiot. “I don’t want you to move. I like living with you.”
As the last of the day’s light slipped beneath the horizon, the emotion drained from Logan in one massive, full-bodied sigh. “I’m sorry, darl. I misunderstood. If you need me to live with you, I can stay a little longer.”
“Need?” Kat stammered the question, simultaneously shocked and ticked off.
Screw that. She didn’t need anyone.
“I know you’re scared to be alone. But—”
“Are you serious?” She swallowed to clear the lump forming in her throat and hoped like hell the darkness masked the pain his words had shot through her. “Do you think I’m so weak and pathetic that I need a guy to take care of me? What? Did you think you owe it to Pax to babysit his fraidy-cat little sister?”
“No. It’s not like that.” He scrubbed a hand down his face. “I wouldn’t do it for Pax. I want to help you.”
“Shit. So I’m a charity case to you?” Kat asked, swiping away a frickin’ tear. “Is the sex an added perk, or did you do that out of pity too?”
His mouth twisted into a grimace. “Christ, Kat, nothing is out of pity. You know I … care about you,” he said, his voice low and raw.
When he lifted his hand to reach for her, she took a step back and locked her arms across her body. “But not enough for you to want to stay longer.”
His outstretched arm dropped to his side with a dejected thud. He drew in a tense breath and his expression hardened. “You said it yourself. I don’t stick.” He shook his head. “It’s better that way.”
She sniffed in a quick breath and faked a smile. “Good news. You’re off the hook. I’m not afraid to be alone anymore. Haven’t been for a while. So there’s no need for you to stick with me.” Shooting for careless indifference, she shrugged a shoulder. “In fact, now that I know the truth, big guy, I’d prefer to be alone.”
Logan opened his mouth to say something, then slowly closed it and nodded his head in easy acceptance of her words. “I’ll go.” He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans, turned away, then paused—his black silhouette blocked the faint light from the distant cottage.
“It’s dark. Do you need me to walk you back?” He didn’t bother looking at her when he asked the question. Not that it mattered. The flat tone of his voice made it clear he was offering out of duty rather than the desire to be with her.
“No, Logan. I don’t need you for anything.”
He dipped his head in silent acknowledgment, his broad shoulders straightening a fraction, like a frickin’ weight had just been lifted from them. “Goodbye, tiger,” he murmured. The words sounded more like an afterthought than the deathblow to her dreams that they were.
His farewell hit her harder than a fist. After he walked away and disappeared in the darkness, she wanted to drop to her knees. Fighting back the sobs building in her chest, she clenched her eyes closed and locked her arms tight around her body in a desperate attempt to stop the gut wrenching pain from ripping her apart. She couldn’t fall apart. She had someone depending on her now.
Kat gritted her teeth, sucked in air, and slipped a hand to her still-flat stomach. No matter what happened, she had to be strong. And even though the pain snaking around her heart constricted it so ruthlessly she could barely breathe, she wouldn’t beg Logan to stay, and she sure as hell wouldn’t use the baby to guilt him into it.
She
’d wanted an answer, and she’d gotten one.
She wasn’t enough to make Logan stick.
Chapter 13
“OH, Kat. You have to tell him. You have to, have to, have to tell him.” Even lecturing from over two thousand miles away, Sage’s pleading tone came through Kat’s cell phone loud and clear. “You just have to tell him.”
Kat rolled her eyes and took a big bite of the juicy red apple she’d picked at the orchard outside of town yesterday. Sage had been her best friend since college, and while she meant well, Kat wasn’t in the mood to talk about Logan. “I’m not sure I understand what you’re trying to tell me. Do you think I should tell him or not?” she asked dryly, munching away.
“Don’t be a smart aleck. Logan deserves to know you’re carrying his child. And I don’t think I can hold Pax off much longer. Since he found out you’re pregnant, he’s been threatening to hunt Logan down and … Well, there’s no need to repeat that kind of language. Frankly, I’m thankful Logan didn’t return to Costa Rica after leaving Silver Bay. Pax is going to need a lot more time to cool off before he sees him again.”
Kat puffed out a sigh and tossed the remains of her apple into the open trash bin across the cottage’s kitchen from where she sat. Her friend sure knew how to ruin a beautiful fall day. “Tell my big brother to stay out of it. This whole thing is my responsibility. I can handle it by myself.”
It’d been well over a month since Logan left town. The leaves had started to change colors, and her stomach had rounded into a small baby bump. While her family and Sage knew about the pregnancy, she hadn’t felt the need to share the info with anyone else yet.
After the jerkface had left her alone and crying on the beach, Kat had returned to the cottage to find it empty. In less than an hour, Logan had disappeared from her life. When she’d finally stopped crying, roughly a week later, she’d put on her big girl panties and pieced together a plan to get through the next few years. She canceled the lease on the apartment she’d planned to move to. Thankfully, her mom’s friend Celine had happily agreed to let her pay rent to stay at the cottage until she found a house to buy. Kat wanted her kid to grow up with a front porch, a yard, and maybe even a dog someday. She didn’t need anything fancy, which worked out great because her savings account couldn’t afford fancy anyway.
