“Let go, beautiful,” I encourage her before I suck on her clit.
I feel her tighten a little more around my fingers before she begins to violently pulse. She cries out, grabbing my hair to hold my head in place as I continue to eat her out. I’ve never gone down on a girl before. I never saw the point because it wasn’t something that was beneficial to me in any way. I guess I was never a giving lover before now. With Ronnie, I could watch her come all night and without giving a shit about my own release.
I kiss my way up her body until my lips meet hers. I wonder if she likes the way her come tastes on my lips. The thought turns me on even more. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to wait. My cock feels as if it’s been hard all night. The last time I had sex was back in California while I was high off my ass and couldn’t even remember who my partner was. Just thinking about my past makes me feel fucking ashamed. I’ve come such a long way since then and I feel like all my past activities happened to another person entirely.
“Do you want this, beautiful? It doesn’t have to be tonight,” I assure her. However, I can hear the tension in my voice as I try desperately to restrain myself.
She smiles as she reaches behind her back to unclasp her bra and expose her tits completely. My mouth is on them in an instant, licking her pretty nipples before sucking them between my lips. She runs her fingers through my hair and kisses the top of my head before I feel her body grow more and more desperate.
“Please, Trev. I can’t wait any longer.”
I can’t deny this girl a thing, and I doubt a day would come where I’d ever want to. I kiss her lips before getting off the bed and rushing over to my jeans to grab a condom from my wallet. As I hurry back to her with my cock practically bouncing in the air, I explain, “I want you to know I wasn’t banking on this being the end result of our date. I just like to be prepared.”
Ronnie’s breathing is heavy and her pupils are dilated as she watches me join her on the bed again. I’ve never seen a sexier sight in all my life. I rip the condom wrapper open and roll it onto my cock before settling between her legs. While I would love to go bareback with her, I can’t afford to chance having another baby.
She gives me a nervous look before she asks, “You’re clean, right? You’ve been tested and everything?”
Given the way I look and my history—I can understand where she’s coming from. Besides, it’s a good idea to ask your partner if they’re clean before you just go for it. I would’ve done it in the past if I’d been sober at the time. Thank God, luck was always on my side.
“I was tested when I returned to Colorado. I’m clean. You?”
A shy smile appears on her face as she’s probably beginning to realize that we’re really going to do this. “I’m clean.”
Well shit. We’re really doing this. I’m fucking terrified. I love her and I want to make love to her, but now that I’m about to connect with her, I realize I don’t really know what “making love” is. I’ve fucked women, but I’ve never made love to anyone. I’m glad she’s my first. And my last. I know I won’t love anyone the way I love her.
I lower myself onto my elbows and position my cock at her entrance. I’m going to take it slow and savor every moment. I can feel her warmth flirting with the tip of my cock as I rub its head up and down her entrance. I’m giving her ample time to back out if she chooses to wait. She doesn’t. Instead she gives me a sly smile as she opens her legs even wider. I smile back and gaze into her eyes as I push my cock partially inside of her in one hard thrust. She moans and arches her back off the bed in response. I’m not all the way in, another inch or so of my cock is patiently waiting for my girl to stretch enough to accommodate me.
“Fuck, you’re huge,” she moans as she tightens her legs around my waist. By the sound of her voice, I can’t tell if my size is a good thing or an uncomfortable thing for her.
“Do you think you can handle more?” I ask, trying not to sound too hopeful as I look down at the remaining two inches of my cock that desperately wants to be inside of her.
She bites her lip and nods, looking as if she were in deep thought as I work on sliding the rest of my cock inside her tight core. She cries out but doesn’t stop me. I’m too overwhelmed by the sensation to stop now even if I wanted to. Her pussy is tight, warm, and absolutely perfect. As if it’s been made especially for me. I could worship it for the rest of my life and will if she lets me. Ronnie’s eyelids flutter and a beautiful smile appears on her face as soon as I’m completely sheathed inside her.
“We did it,” she teases me, before I silence her with a kiss.
I take it slow, wanting our first time to last as long as it can. I worship her lips, face, and tits as I thrust deeply inside of her. Every kiss is a way of saying, “I love you,” and every touch is my way of saying, “I want you to belong to me forever.” Although, I don’t say the words aloud, I know she can feel them. And with her kisses, I feel as if she’s saying the same thing to me in return. After a while, I can no longer contain myself and my thrusts become more erratic. Ronnie doesn’t seem to mind; in fact, she grabs onto my ass as if she’s encouraging me to fuck her even harder. And I will. I’ll fuck her brains out. Just not this time.
I reach down and play with her clit because I know I’m close to my orgasm and I want us to come together. “Come for me, my beautiful girl,” I whisper into her ear as I continue to play with her. “I want to feel you come on my cock.”
She moans and stiffens before she reaches her release. Her core clamps onto my cock, pulsing around me and pulling me deeper inside her. I begin to fuck her, really fuck her, holding nothing back. She spanks my ass and cries out as she reaches another orgasm. I come so hard I see fucking stars. I’ve never came like this in my entire life. I hear myself roar as my mind screams out, “I love you so fucking much Veronica Clark!”
I fall on top her, completely spent. Our sweat mixes together and our scents combine as I let the weight of my body press against hers. I kiss her once more before rolling off her lush frame and onto my side before pulling her against my side. Ronnie is breathing hard, still coming down from her orgasm and my mind is reeling. I just had sex with the girl of my dreams. The girl I’m in love with and I didn’t fuck it up! She loved it and I made her come, not once, but multiple times. I smile because I know the night is still young. “I love you, Ronnie Clarke.” I practice the line in my head until I have the courage to say it aloud. I love you and I know I don’t deserve you, but I won’t give up. I’ll fight for you every day.
Ronnie interrupts my thoughts by sliding onto my lap and saying, “The night is still young and I want you again.”
Lying in bed with my girl’s scent surrounding me, her soft body cuddled against mine, and her silky hair tickling my nose—I wonder if I’ll ever get enough of her. If last night was any indication of our future together, I’ll doubt I’ll ever be sated. Last night was fucking incredible. Being inside her was like nothing I’ve ever experienced. Her body is a dream, but I know there’s more to it than that. Being in love has shown me how different sex can be. I felt so deeply connected to her when I was moving inside of her, it wasn’t anything like the usual meaningless sex I’ve become accustomed to. Everything with Ronnie is different.
It’s still dark outside from the cloud cover, but I know we need to be getting back soon. Hopefully the roads are clear by now because I’m dying to get home to see Grey. It’s weird waking up without the sound of his babbling. I miss the little guy like fucking crazy. I kiss my girl’s face and hair until she stirs awake. She gives me a cute, sleepy grin before rubbing her face against my chest. I know I wore her out last night—but how could I help it when she kept begging me for more? Or was it me that was begging her for more? All I know for sure is we were both begging for each other.
“Want to shower before we leave?” she asks, then bites my nipple. “I feel so sticky, Trev.”
She’s cute when she complains. I think I love just about everything sh
e does. I scoop her into my arms, before lifting her off the bed. I rush to the bathroom with her giggling in my arms. Considering how much I shelled out for this room, we should at least take the time to enjoy the expensive custom showerhead and fancy jets. I’m sure they’ll feel amazing as I fuck my girl against the tiled wall. I set Ronnie on her feet in front of the huge walk-in shower, then reach in to turn on the water—waiting for the water to adjust to the perfect temperature. She’s impatient—like always—and hops in under the water spray, quickly pulling me into the shower with her. She rubs her wet body against mine and I’m hard in a fucking instant. I turn her to face the wall and run my cock along the curve of her ass.
“Do you want me to bend you over and fuck you like this?”
A gasp of pleasure escapes her lips and she nods. Although I can’t see her beautiful face, I know she’s smiling. I lightly push between her shoulder blades to encourage her to bend over. She does, and I’m rewarded with a view of her perfect ass. This is the first time I’m seeing it in the light. A shaky exhale escapes my lips at the sight before me. On her right cheek is a small tattoo of a peach. It’s cute, yet, so damn hot at the same time—just like my girl. It’s the perfect fit. I’ll ask her about it later because right now, I’m throbbing and impatient. She wiggles her ass against my throbbing cock to regain my attention. Once she has it, I grab ahold of her hips and thrust inside of her in one quick push of my hips. Her back arches and she moans as I pull out and push back in, beginning to find my pace. Water hammers out of the jets, making her luscious body slick and harder to hold onto. Her skin is fucking glistening and causes her to look like every wet dream I’ve ever had. In order to try to control myself, I have to look away and concentrate on something else so I don’t blow my load prematurely.
She meets me thrust for thrust, her hips slamming back against mine from the force of her movements. I know I won’t be able to last much longer, so I reach between her legs and play with her clit until I know she’s close. I pound harder into her, holding nothing back. I want to consume her as she consumes me. I feel her let go and her pussy pulses wildly around me. Within a few more thrusts, I feel my orgasm coming. I pull out and pump my cock in my hand until I ejaculate onto her back. She looks incredible covered in my come, and I commit the sight to memory before the water washes it away. Ronnie is spent and almost falls as I let go of her hips. I quickly grasp ahold of her and pull her backwards and up against my body to keep her from tumbling to the shower floor. She shimmies around until she’s facing me and kisses my chest in appreciation of saving her from a fall. Her kisses are so sweet; they move me to a point where my heart feels as though it might burst.
I kiss her shoulder, then grab a bar of soap so we can both wash up. She lets me wash her thick mass of hair and I do so until my hands are fucking pruned. As much as I never want to leave this hotel room, I know we have to get out of here soon. Even if Grey wasn’t waiting for us, our checkout time is approaching and I certainly don’t need a maid finding us naked in the shower.
“You ready to go, baby?”
She pouts, washes the conditioner out of hair and nods. “Thanks for last night, Trev. I’ve never had a guy treat me so well.”
I freeze in disbelief. What man wouldn’t cherish a woman like Ronnie? I don’t know whether to be angry about her mistreatment in the past or be flattered that she thinks I treat her so amazing. My feelings are mixed, I suppose. “Well, I don’t know how some of those douches decided to treat you in the past, but I just want to treat you like a fucking princess like you deserve.” It may sound cheesy, but I don’t fucking care. It’s how I see her.
She turns back to face me again and smiles. It’s obvious to her that I’m being sincere. We stand like this for a while, until the water becomes unbearably cold and we’re forced to jump out. I can tell my words meant a lot to her and someday soon, I’ll tell her exactly how I feel about her. I want my confession to be special, and it will be if I just set aside time to fucking plan it.
We get dressed in a comfortable silence and say goodbye to the hotel room which now holds so many memories for us. I look back at the messy bed one last time, remembering our first time together and soaking up the memories. I look to Ronnie and find she’s doing the same. Maybe someday we’ll come back to this place and recreate the special night we had together. Until then, we’ll have to make due with sneaking around while Grey is sleeping and taking advantage of every night we can convince a family member to babysit.
Since leaving the hotel, all I can think about is Grey and how desperate I am to see him. I wonder if he slept at all last night because I know he has a hard time when it comes to sleeping in a room without me in it. So often I have to pull his crib next to my bed in order for him to sleep soundly. I really hope he didn’t give Eden and Quinton too much trouble. As nice as our little break was, I don’t think I can stand much longer without seeing my son. As Ronnie dozes off in the passenger seat, I speed through traffic, wanting to get to Grey as quickly as I can.
Ronnie’s still asleep by the time I arrive at her sister’s house and I don’t have the heart to wake her up. She just looks too fucking cute and incredibly peaceful. I run my finger along her bottom lip and she stirs, ever so slightly, before settling into a sounder sleep. I jump out of the truck and jog up to the door. I barely knock twice before the door swings open. Quinton answers, looking sleep deprived as fuck, with a teary-eyed Grey in his arms.
“See, buddy. There’s your daddy,” Quinton says as he points to me. “See, I told you he’d come back, Greyson.”
“Was he like this all night?” I ask, feeling guilty for having such a wonderful time while my son was suffering.
He gives me a small grimace before handing Grey over to me. “He wasn’t so bad. He had fun with Harper, but when it was time for bed he became frantic. I guess sleeping in a new place really freaked him out and he really missed you.” Quinton looks around before asking, “Where’s Ronnie? Did you two have a nice time?”
“She’s asleep in the truck.” He gives me a knowing smile. “We had a great time. It was better than anything I could’ve imagined.” Realizing that it’s probably weird for me to talk about his sister-in-law like that, I quickly add, “The date I mean. The date was wonderful.”
“Dada!” Grey cries, pulling at the neck of my shirt, begging for attention. “Da, da, da!”
I immediately give him all of my focus, bouncing him and kissing his forehead until he’s more complacent and realizes I’m not going anywhere. Fuck, I wonder if he thought I’d abandoned him or some shit like that. That must’ve been terrifying for him. I’ll have to spend the rest of my day making him feel safe again. I don’t know if I can stomach having him spend the night away from me again. At least, not until he’s older and comfortable with having sleepovers. I just can’t enjoy myself if I know my son’s not having a good time, too. I’d just feel too fucking guilty.
“I’m really sorry if he gave you guys a lot of grief. It’s just this is his first night away from me. I should’ve known it would be hard on him.”
“I did my best to distract him, but after a while nothing worked and he’d just say ‘dada’ over and over again.” When he sees the aghast look on my face, he quickly adds, “I’m not trying to make you feel guilty, man. I promise. Besides, Harper managed to soothe him. They’re friends already.”
I smile at the thought. I want Grey to have lots of friends because I didn’t have any when I was really little. I spent all of my time hanging out with Dean. I looked up to him and his friends—who were a few years older than me. He was never like other kid’s older brothers. Unlike them, he’d never tell me to “beat it” and go play someplace else. He always welcomed my company, even when his friends thought I was too young to play with him. He would defend me and stand up for me at every turn.
“Well, I’m going to take him home and make it up to him. Besides, Ronnie’s passed out in the truck. I’m sure she’d like to go back to her apartment, so I b
etter get going. Thanks again, man. Make sure to tell Eden I said, ‘thanks.’ ”
“Any time,” Quinton replies as he gives me a friendly pat on the back. “He really wasn’t any trouble, Trevor. Eden would watch him all night again if it meant you were taking her baby sister on a date.”
I smile at the thought of Ronnie’s sister liking me that much. I’d never have thought that her family would accept me like this so soon. I guess I really underestimated them… or maybe I just underestimated myself. Quinton hands me Grey’s bag and I say a quick “goodbye” before heading out. I bounce Grey in my arms as I walk back to my truck. He’s still a little fussy, but not as sad as he was a few minutes ago. I kiss his forehead and hold him close to assure him that I’m here and I’m not going anywhere. He looks up at me with wide eyes and finally smiles, making everything right in the world again.
“Daddy loves you, Grey. I’ll always be here for you.”
Grey smiles at me and reaches up to touch my face. I think it was his little way of saying he loves me, too.
Chapter 24
Got you (where I want you)
For the first time in my existence, I feel as though my life is nearly complete. I say “nearly” because the wounds of my past have not entirely healed. I still long for my brother and ache for the future I’ll never have with him; I long for all my old fucking vices I’ll never be able to indulge in again. I keep telling myself that I don’t have a problem, but I grow more and more confused every day. If my problem was so nonexistent, why am I still fucking struggling despite all the incredible things I have in my life? That constant thirst brought me here. October has brought so many changes in me and as the weather grows unbearable, I finally realize I need fucking help. I can’t do this shit alone.
The Blessing Page 27
