by Paula Mowery
She silently chided herself. She couldn’t allow his good looks or his sweet gestures to get to her. Emotions were at a high today due to his mother’s surgery. She wasn’t here to establish that kind of relationship. Sean needed to find his way back to God, not to her.
“Would you walk with me to the cafeteria for some coffee?” Sean’s question broke into her thoughts.
“Sure.”
They stood.
“You guys need anything?” he asked his dad and brother.
They both shook their heads.
“We’ll be right back.”
Sean laid his hand gently on her lower back, guiding her out of the waiting room. Oh, no! There was that warm sensation again spreading up from where his hand made contact with her. Maybe she shouldn’t have come.
* * *
Sean caught his father and brother’s eyes looking puzzled as he and Hope walked off together.
When they reached the cafeteria, she snagged a diet soda. Sean insisted on paying for both of their beverages.
The woman at the cash register smiled at Hope. “Jan, how are you?”
“I’m doing a lot better.” The woman glanced at Sean and then back at Hope. “You’re not working today?”
“No.” Hope gestured toward Sean. “This is Sean Holland. His mother is having surgery today.”
The woman nodded at Sean. “Thanks again for the shawl and the prayers.”
“You’re welcome”
As they walked away, Sean couldn’t stop staring at Hope.
She bit her lip. “What? Do I have something on my face or something?” She rubbed the side of her mouth with her fingertips.
He chuckled. “No. You just amaze me.”
She looked at the floor and a hint of pink shot to her cheeks.
He touched her arm to stop her. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to embarrass you. It’s just, I’ve never met anyone like you. You really do care.”
She shrugged. “I can’t take credit. I was raised that way.”
They continued back to the waiting room. Her modesty and humility made her all the more attractive.
As soon as they took their seats across from his father and Richard, a doctor dressed in green surgical scrubs hurried over. “Rita Holland’s family, right?”
His father stood. “Yes.”
“We’re just now getting started. There was a complication in the surgery before hers. We wanted to let you know.” The man rushed off.
“Thank you.” His father called after the man, plopped down again, and sighed.
Sean clenched his fists. “Great. Here I thought they might’ve been done or close to it.” He ran his hands down his face, trying anything to remain calm.
A warm hand slid into his. Hope reached her other hand across the aisle and grasped his father’s hand. They closed the circle by Dad clutching Richard’s and Richard grabbing Sean’s.
“God, we’re frustrated.” Hope’s calm, sweet voice spoke. Everyone’s heads bowed and eyes closed. “But, we trust you, Lord. For some reason the surgery needed to begin later. Guide the surgeon’s hands. Draw near to my sister, Rita. And comfort us as we await word. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
His father patted Hope’s hand. “Thank you.” His voice was low and shaky.
Sean needed to lighten the moment and focus on something else.
“Hope, how did you start making the shawls?”
He sounded like a reporter, but diverting attention from the surgery called for quick thinking.
Hope folded her legs under her. “I have my Mimi to thank for that. She was my mom’s mother.” She shook her head and smiled. “As a girl I would sit on the arm of her chair, looking over her shoulder as she crocheted. What a prayer warrior! Even as a youngster I can remember the goose bumps crawling up my arms listening to her petition God on behalf of a sick brother or sister in Christ.” Hope’s chin quivered. “I miss her. She not only taught me to make the prayer shawls, but she’s the reason I became a nurse. For years, Mimi would sit and care for sick people in their homes. Most of them until they passed on to glory.”
His father leaned forward. “I remember your Mimi. She sat with my grandmother. I can remember stopping in to visit and hearing her singing ‘It is Well.’ I’ll never forget it.”
Sean was an outsider. Their strong beliefs seemed to connect them, bind them together like a family. Even though he was here with his own father and brother, his biologically connected family, Sean lacked their camaraderie.
Sean listened as the three conversed about church happenings and people they held in common.
He spotted the surgeon and stood, hoping the operation was completed. When the doctor neared, everyone else stood.
“Mrs. Holland’s surgery went well. I think we got it all. We’ll test the lymph nodes we removed, of course. Since it’s later, I’m going to keep her overnight.”
“Thank you. I’ll be staying with her,” his father said. “Where should I go?”
“She’ll be in recovery a bit longer, but then she’ll go up to the second floor. I think she’s already been assigned a room. Ask at the nurse’s desk there.” The doctor turned and rushed out.
Arms pulled Sean into a group embrace. When they stepped back, his father sniffed and picked up his duffle. “I’ll go on up and wait for her to get to the room.” He turned to Richard. “You go home and check on your family.” He focused on Sean and Hope.
“Dad, you probably need to eat,” Sean said.
“I don’t want to leave. I need to be there when she gets to the room. You two go on. You need to eat, too.”
Sean ran his hand through his hair. “We’ll go grab something and bring something back for you. Okay?”
“Agreed.”
They walked to the hallway, seeing his father onto the elevator. Sean turned to his brother. “Do you want to go eat with us? You probably need something, too.”
“Naw, y’all go ahead. I better go check on my gang. I might need to run out for a bite for us. Give my tired wife a break. Just make sure to bring Dad something.”
“Okay.”
“Thanks, Hope.” His brother patted Hope’s shoulder.
CHAPTER FIVE
They stepped outside. A light rain fell.
“You wait here. I’ll pick you up.” Sean jogged off before Hope could protest, which he was sure she would do.
He pulled to the curb and Hope slid in. “Thanks. You didn’t have to do that. I won’t melt.”
“I don’t know about that.”
Their eyes met, and she quickly diverted her gaze to her lap.
After a quick discussion, they ended up at a local steak house.
“I think everything looks good for your mother.” Hope smoothed the napkin across her legs and flashed a smile.
“Yeah, so far. It was those terrible treatments that got her the last time.” As he watched Hope sip her diet soda, he wondered if she had so easily kept her faith due to her easy life. Except for losing her grandmother, Hope had never mentioned true hardship. Maybe that was why her belief in God stayed intact. She’d never had it tested.
“What are you thinking?” Her eyes stared into his as if trying to read his mind. “Your mother is in good hands.”
“I know. That surgeon is one of the best…”
“That wasn’t the hands I was referring to.” Her brows arched.
“About that, can I be honest?” He swiped his hand down his face.
“Of course.”
“I’m thinking you’ve never had a reason to lose your faith in your God.”
Hope licked her lips and leaned forward. “Well, you would be wrong.”
Sean rested his forearms on the table. “I mean, I know you lost your Mimi, and I’m sure that was hard. You were obviously pretty close to her, but…”
“Yes, I was very close to her.” She paused and sighed. “Especially due to the fact that I had to move in with her during high school, after my parents were killed in a car accident.”
Sean winced. He instantly regretted voicing his assumption. “Hope, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s okay.” She sipped her drink and then trained her eyes on his. “I can’t lie to you. My faith wavered. I couldn’t understand why a sixteen year old would lose both her parents. I still don’t, but God took care of me.” She lowered her gaze.
“What? What are you thinking?” Sean wondered at her pensive expression.
“I couldn’t have made it this far through so many losses without God being with me.” She bit her bottom lip.
“Do you have any other family?”
She shook her head slowly. “I was engaged once.”
Sean sat up straight. “That guy must have been crazy to let you get away.”
“Well, he didn’t really have a choice.”
“Oh? You broke his heart?”
“No. Travis was a firefighter. We met one night when I filled in down in Emergency. We dated six months, and he proposed. The wedding was set for October 21st, but in September there was a house fire. He saved a little boy, but…Travis’ injuries were fatal.”
Sean’s chest tightened. He stroked his chin. “I’m sorry.” Nothing more came to mind. He had no idea Hope’s life had been so tumultuous. Sean only respected her more knowing her painful past. Whether he agreed with her faith in God or not, her life experiences would make a good story. Someone might be encouraged by her. This was much more than just a ‘touchy-feely’ article to get a paycheck. “Hope, could I ask a favor?”
Her brows rose. “Sure.”
“Will you allow me to write an article about you for a magazine?”
She laid her hand on her chest. “Me?”
“Yeah. I want to tell a little about your past and about the prayer shawls. I think it might encourage people.”
“Well, I…”
“I promise to let you okay everything.” This was just the story the publisher had been wanting. “What do you say?”
She shrugged one shoulder. “I guess.”
He reached his hand across the table, laying it on top of hers. “It’ll be great. Of course, it means you may have to put up with a few more dinners and a little more interviewing.”
She grinned. “Okay.”
Sean was glad she agreed to the article. But, was he more pleased that he had an excuse to see her again?
* * *
Hope lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. So that was Sean’s angle. He wanted to write an article. He seemed sincere that this story would encourage others. Was that just his tactic to convince her?
She sighed and flipped to her side. Either way, he would have to hear about her faith. That was the point, right? To bring Sean back to the Father?
The Lord would have to help her with her emotions. Sean looked at this situation as an assignment, and she should too.
After her shift the next day, she checked her phone, and it indicated she had a new text message. It was Sean. Her stomach fluttered slightly. She rolled her eyes at the reaction. He inquired about her plans for Friday night. She hit reply and typed back, “No plans.”
His answer came immediately. “Italian. Pick you up around six.”
She typed out an “okay” not adding the “sounds good” though she thought it.
Hope gnawed at her bottom lip and tried with all her might to suppress the anticipation. If she didn’t calm her attraction to this man, she was sure she was headed for embarrassment and hurt.
CHAPTER SIX
Sean emailed Tom about the article on Hope and her prayer shawls, and the magazine publisher was intrigued. Sean promised to have the completed story in two weeks. He just needed a little more information to finish.
His phone buzzed, and he glanced at the screen. “Mom, hey. How are you feeling?”
“I’m feeling especially great after talking to the doctor.” Her exuberance bubbled through a giggle.
“Oh?”
“The lymph nodes were clear, and I won’t require any treatments at all. Isn’t that great?”
“Oh, Mom, that’s more than great. I can’t wait to tell Hope.”
“Hope?”
“Yeah, I’m taking her out for Italian tonight.”
“Really?” Her voice lilted.
“Mom, I’m interviewing her for a magazine story.”
“Okay, well, tell her I said hello.” Her tone hinted at not believing his motives for taking Hope out.
Mom knew better than to consider the two of them a couple. But, he couldn’t deny his eagerness about having dinner with Hope again.
* * *
Hope admired Sean’s strong profile as he gave their order to the waitress.
They had decided to split a large entrée in hopes of having dessert, which appealed to her particular love for cheesecake.
She plunked a breadstick onto a small plate and instinctively bowed her head and closed her eyes. She paused and peeked at Sean.
He waved his hand dismissively. “Go ahead.”
She closed her eyes and prayed silently. When she raised her head, she couldn’t help probing Sean a bit. “I’m curious. Your family are faithful church attenders and strong Christians.”
“Well, yeah.” He shrugged.
“So, how come you’re not?”
“I grew up in it all—going to church, involved in various groups. I had this friend named Ben. We got pretty tight in the youth group at church. When we graduated from high school, we went to a local Bible college. We were roommates. One night he came back to our dorm room drunk. I was afraid someone would find out, especially when he kept getting sick in his bed. The problem was if he got caught, I would be kicked out as well.”
“That doesn’t seem fair.”
“No, but that was the rule. So, I pulled him out of bed and stuck him in the shower while I changed his sheets. I finally got him back to bed, but the next morning I overheard him make fun of what I had done to some other guys.”
“That stinks.”
“Yeah, it did, but Ben went on as if he were the perfect Christian. I couldn’t stand the hypocrisy, so I transferred to another college. The professors there helped me to see that I was following a ruse.”
“In what way?”
“All of that Christian doctrine shoved down kids’ throats to mold them into what parents want and believe. I finally started thinking for myself.”
He sat up a little straighter. His fall from faith in God sounded like the perfect storm. Hope wanted to probe deeper, but Sean quickly continued on. “But, I didn’t come to talk about me. I have some questions for the article.”
* * *
The rest of the dinner conversation never reverted back to Sean. Hope was glad to have gained some insight into Sean’s adverse feelings toward God. They finished and headed toward her apartment.
Sean pulled into a parking space, jumped out, and opened her door in a most gentlemanly manner. Why did he have to spurn God? This could all work out much differently if he just believed the way she did. It wasn’t meant to be.
“Thank you for dinner and dessert.” She giggled.
“You’re welcome. Thanks for the story.”
“I can’t imagine that anyone would be interested in reading about plain ol’ me.”
“Nonsense.” He drew closer and gazed into her eyes.
Hope’s stomach tightened. He leaned his head closer. What was he doing?
The warmth of his breath caressed her chin. Before she could process his nearness, he brushed her lips with a kiss. Her pulse pounded and her whole body tingled.
Sean studied her face and stepped back. “I’m sorry.”
Hope shook her head and diverted her gaze to the ground. Her heart would surely leap from her chest if she didn’t avoid his eyes for a moment. She swallowed hard and eased her head up, meeting his probing gaze.
“I’ll see you around. I better go home and finish this article before I get myself in trouble. I’ll email you a copy before I send it, okay?”
�
��Okay.”
He pressed his lips tight and sighed, then he jogged around to the driver’s side and hopped in.
Hope waved to him as he drove away. Finally, she started breathing again. She fairly floated to her door and fumbled with her key. She made it inside and plopped onto the couch. What did he mean when he said he should leave before he got in trouble? Could he have possibly experienced a reaction when he kissed her? Hope slammed her body against the back of the couch and slouched. She puffed out her cheeks and let the air out slowly.
Sean had apologized for the kiss. Maybe that was just something he did naturally, and she had acted like some love-struck teen.
She would snap out of this. The article was almost finished, and he would move on to his next subject.
Hope sat up straight on the edge of the sofa. She needed to move on too, out of this hint of fantasy she had allowed, and back to real life.
* * *
Sean sat in his home office and struggled to finish the article on Hope without his mind wandering.
He had kissed her before he could reign himself in. He could have sworn she reacted favorably too, but her true feelings were masked by the look of shock on her face. He needed to back off. The two of them had too many differences to try for any kind of relationship, though he wished the situation was different.
He adjusted his chair and put his fingers back on the laptop keys, determined to be done with this assignment. He had narrowed down his trip to a couple of destinations. When he nailed down the specifics, he was off to attempt his hand at travel writing.
Mom was out of the woods. Everything was perfect for a new endeavor.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Sean’s cell phone buzzed.
“Tom? I hope the article was to your liking. You don’t normally call me personally.”
“Sean, my man, this article was perfect. I actually built a lot of the June theme around it.”
“I don’t know about perfect, but I’m glad it worked out so well.”
“Listen, I’ve called to offer you an ongoing gig. How about spiritual perspectives by Sean Holland Jr.?”
Sean winced. Tom had to be kidding.
