by Sarah Morgan
‘Oh—I’m sorry.’
And that, he thought, encapsulated the difference between them because he wasn’t sorry. He wasn’t sorry at all. He ended relationships frequently and not once had he cared enough to be sorry.
But judging from her expression she was sorry enough for both of them, concern evident in her gaze. ‘Were you in love with her?’
‘No.’ He didn’t soften his answer. ‘And she wasn’t in love with me. I pick women who aren’t interested in love because that is something I can’t offer.’
‘Presumably you must have liked something about her, but I must admit you don’t look broken-hearted.’
‘I don’t have a heart, Emma. I’m sure you’ve heard that about me.’
‘You’re doing it again—delivering warnings, as if I need to be constantly reminded that last night was just one night. I’m going to have a T-shirt printed “I know it was just one night”. That would cause a stir in the office.’ She smiled and that smile made him catch his breath. Once again he was reminded that, although she looked delicate, she was never anything but robust.
‘I apologise,’ he murmured. ‘I won’t mention it again.’
‘Good, because I can assure you that I don’t want this to be more than one night any more than you do. I just want to get back to how things were before. I was just checking that you weren’t upset about the whole Tara thing.’
‘I’m not upset.’ Nor was he used to people caring whether he was upset. He didn’t tell her about the text he’d received from Tara, apologising, begging him to take her to the party. He didn’t tell her that after last night he wouldn’t have taken Tara if she were the last woman on earth. He didn’t tell her that in all the relationships he’d had, he’d never once been upset when they’d ended.
He didn’t tell her that there was something missing in him.
‘She’ll be disappointed not to have the opportunity to talk to all those famous people.’ In that one simple sentence she summed up Tara’s driving ambition. ‘But I still don’t see why you need me. We both know that in a room of glamorous women you’ll be alone for all of five seconds.’
‘I won’t be alone. You’ll be there.’
She shot him a look. ‘Please don’t ask me to do this. Not just because of the whole sex thing, but because my family is expecting me home. Angie has plans for tonight and Jamie needs me.’
‘I need you.’ It didn’t occur to him to compromise because when it came to work he never did. He did what was best for the business. ‘You drove here through a snowstorm last night to deliver me the papers I need so don’t tell me you don’t care about things being done well, because I know you do. It’s the reason you’re still working for me after two years.’
‘So you’re willing to take advantage of my work ethic? That isn’t fair. Jamie has his school nativity play on Wednesday. Nothing is going to stop me going.’
‘Fine. I’ll fly you home on Monday in the jet, but you’ll be exhausted because the party won’t finish until the early hours.’
‘Have you considered that this might backfire on you? The only party I’ve been to in the last few years is when our neighbours invite us in for drinks on Christmas Eve. To even call it a party is probably being over-generous. I’m not really a party person.’
‘That doesn’t matter.’
‘I will embarrass you! I can look nice, but not glamorous.’
He thought about the way she’d looked lying on the rug, her hair gleaming in the red glow from the fire, and knew she was wrong, but he didn’t want to say that to her because he knew he shouldn’t even be thinking it. ‘I’m not asking you to dance or win a fashion contest, I’m asking you to stand by my side as another representative of Jackson and Partners. It’s networking. For me the party is as much business as the meeting scheduled to take place before it. You talk to many of these people on a daily basis. People speak to you before they speak to me. It’s good for you to put faces to names and good for other people to know you. For many people you’re their first contact with my company.’
Torn by conflicting responsibilities, she gave him an exasperated look. ‘I can’t believe you’re asking me to do this. It’s unreasonable.’
Lucas didn’t relent. He told himself that if she was angry towards him that was good. Hopefully that anger would supplant other, far more dangerous, feelings and the truth was he did need her there. ‘I’ve never claimed to be reasonable.’
‘You’re supposed to be embarrassed. You’re ruthless, self-centred and uncaring.’
‘Yes.’ He didn’t waste time apologising for it, nor did he tell her anything about the events that had made him that way.
She sighed. ‘I don’t know anything about Zubran. I can barely put it on a map.’
‘What do you want to know? It’s a Sultanate. A peaceful, progressive country, mostly due to the influence of the Crown Prince. Mal is super-bright and very charismatic. Women love him and so will you, so you can relax.’
‘Mal?’
‘Short for Malik.’
‘You’re on intimate terms with a Crown Prince?’
‘We were at college together. He’ll be at the party, but you already know that because you’ve seen the guest list.’
‘All the more reason why I’m the wrong person to take! I don’t know any of these people and I will have no idea what to say to them. Please tell me he has a really friendly wife.’
‘Not yet, and that is a very sore subject so I advise you not to mention it.’
‘Why is it a sore subject? He’s divorced? He wants a wife and he can’t find someone to marry him?’
‘He’s rich, so it goes without saying that there are plenty of contenders. There was someone, but—’ Lucas broke off, knowing that there was no one less qualified to comment on relationships than him. ‘Never mind. Let’s just say that for Mal duty comes before personal choice. It comes with the territory, I believe.’
‘So he won’t marry for love?’ Her innocent question would have made him smile had the circumstances been different.
‘No. Which will probably ensure the success of the union.’
She tilted her head as she studied him. ‘When I get my T-shirt made, I’m getting you a matching one that says “Don’t tell me you love me” on it. I can tell you now that I won’t be any use at this party, not just because I’m not glamorous but because I know nothing about the politics of Zubran. What if I say the wrong thing?’
Every other woman he knew would have died before admitting to feeling out of their depth socially.
‘You won’t say the wrong thing. And if you do—’ he shrugged, fighting the desire to take her straight back to bed and lose himself again in her soft warmth ‘—I know him well enough to have you bailed from a jail cell.’
Her shoulders slumped in a gesture of defeat. ‘I’ll have to call my sister.’ Her expression suggested that wasn’t something she relished. ‘Angie has Jamie all week and she relies on me at weekends so that she can go out. She’ll be really annoyed if I tell her I can’t make it.’
‘And yet you’re the one who slogs all week to provide the money for the family—’ He caught her frown and bit off the rest of the sentence. What did he know about a functioning family? Absolutely nothing so he wasn’t in a position to offer advice or opinion. ‘Tell her you’ll be back for Wednesday with a big fat bonus. The truth is you wouldn’t have been driving there today, anyway. The roads around the castle are impassable and we are always low priority for the snowplough and the gritting lorries.’
‘Can’t you get them cleared?’ Her innocent faith in the breadth of his power and influence almost made him smile.
‘I can have the estate cleared, but there are five miles of country lanes between us and the main road. I can work miracles, but local government bureaucracy requires more than that.’
‘So if we’re snowed in, how do you propose getting us to Zubran?’
‘We’re flying. We’ll take the helicopter to the airport and then the
private jet.’ Relying on a well developed instinct that told him exactly when to push and when to retreat, Lucas strode towards the stairs without giving her the opportunity to argue further. ‘Call your sister and then meet me downstairs in the kitchen. I’ll make us breakfast.’
‘Fine, I’ll ring,’ she muttered, ‘but she’s going to kill me. As long as you don’t mind having that on your conscience.’
Lucas chose not to remind her that he didn’t have a conscience.
It was a difficult phone call, not least because for the first time in her life she wasn’t being honest with her sister.
‘You stayed overnight with your boss? Are you crazy? Haven’t you listened to a single word I’ve said to you over the years?’ Angela’s tone was sharp and Emma felt colour flood into her cheeks as she contemplated her sister’s reaction if she were to find out the truth.
‘I didn’t have any choice. Have you looked out of the window? It’s like the Arctic. The roads here are impassable.’ There was no point in trying to explain that she’d been worried about her boss. That concern and care had kept her here long after she should have left. There was no way Angela would understand that. Nor was she going to understand the next part of the conversation. Bracing herself, Emma tightened her grip on the phone. ‘Angie, do you remember the project I told you about? The Zubran Ferrara Resort that is opening next week?’
‘Of course. It’s all over the news. They’re calling it an iconic structure and your boss is apparently a progressive genius much loved by eco nuts everywhere. They’re missing out the fact that he cares more about buildings than people. Remember that, Emma.’ Her sister’s tone was sharp. ‘The man is a heartless womanizer, incapable of sustaining a relationship.’
Not incapable. Unwilling. He’d been hurt so badly he didn’t want to risk it again.
And he was obviously concerned that she was about to declare undying love. That she might start spinning one night into a lifetime.
Her sister was still talking. ‘So what time do you think you’ll be home?’
‘That’s why I’m phoning—’ Emma closed her eyes and blurted it out. ‘I have to fly out with him to Zubran, just for a few days,’ she added quickly, ‘and I’ll be back for Jamie’s play. I’m sorry. I know the timing is bad and there are things you’re supposed to go to, but I’ll make it up to you.’ She was prepared for it and when it came it was spectacular.
‘No! You can’t do this to me! I have the staff party tonight!’
‘I know, and I’ve already thought of that. I’m going to phone Claire and ask if she’ll come and sit with Jamie so that you can go out. Why not? She was my best friend at school and she loves Jamie and he loves her.’ Emma’s heart was pounding. She hated fighting with her sister. Hated it. ‘I’m sorry, Angie, I know it’s really inconvenient but it’s just a few days. Lucas needs me.’
‘Before last night you were coming home for the whole week. And now, suddenly, he needs you? Just what form is this “need” taking? What the hell do you think you’re doing, Emma?’
‘My job. I’m doing my job.’
‘Really? You’re sure this is just about work?’
‘Of course.’ She couldn’t allow herself to think it could be anything else. ‘I know what you’re thinking, and you’re wrong.’
‘Lucas Jackson is rich, good-looking and single. Are you seriously telling me you haven’t ever looked at him like that?’
‘He’s my boss.’ And he hadn’t always been single, had he? There had been a woman who had meant something to him and they’d had a child together. A child they’d lost. His aversion to commitment wasn’t the attitude of a mindless playboy, but a man who had shut himself off from emotion. Realising that her sister was waiting for her response, Emma forced herself to stop speculating. He’d made it clear that he didn’t want to talk about it, so that was the end of that. ‘Stop worrying about me. I’m sorry about the weekend, but it can’t be helped.’
‘No, of course it can’t. You absolutely have to go to this urgent and very glamorous party while I’m stuck with Jamie.’
‘Don’t say that!’ This time it was Emma who raised her voice. ‘Do not say that you’re “stuck with him”. He might hear you and it would upset him so much. I know you don’t mean that.’
‘Maybe I do mean that. It’s all right for you—you’re living this amazing life in London and I’m stuck at home with a child who isn’t even mine.’
Used to her sister’s outbursts, Emma took a deep breath and tried again to work out if there was any way she could have Jamie living with her in London. The economics just didn’t work. Her job paid well but it was demanding and required her to spend long hours at the office. And on top of that she wouldn’t have wanted Jamie living in her area.
‘We’ll talk about this when I’m home. And I’ll get Claire to take him so that you can go to your party tonight. And please, Angie, just go and give him a hug.’
‘He’s going through a horrible phase at the moment. I don’t feel like hugging him.’
Emma bit back a response that she knew wouldn’t be helpful in the long run. Angie loved Jamie, she knew she did, but her sister bitterly resented the impact that taking care of their brother had had on their lives. Swiftly she changed the subject. ‘Have you picked out a dress for your party tonight?’
‘I’m wearing the red one from last Christmas.’ Angela sounded marginally less angry and Emma relaxed slightly.
‘The one with the lace? You look lovely in that. I hope you meet someone gorgeous.’
‘And even if I did, we both know he’d run a mile once he discovered that I come with a permanently attached nine-year-old brother,’ Angela snapped. ‘And talking of which, I have to go and make him breakfast. And on that subject, thanks for starting a routine of making pancakes on Saturdays because now I’m going to be glued to the stove for hours.’
‘It doesn’t take hours, and it’s fun. We make them together. Jamie makes the mixture, I cook them.’
‘He makes a mess when he cooks. It doubles the work. And talking of work, I’d better go and break the news that the good sister isn’t coming home.’
‘I’m not the good sister.’ Emma thought that if Angela had seen what she’d been up to on the rug the night before, she definitely wouldn’t have used that term. ‘You’re good too. It’s just that you’re tired and disappointed that I won’t be able to take up the reins for a few days and that’s understandable.’
‘Stop being so bloody reasonable.’
Emma bit her lip. ‘I’ll be back on Tuesday. Have fun at the party tonight.’
There was a long pause and then Angela sighed. ‘I’m sorry,’ she mumbled. ‘I’m a horrible bitch.’
Yes, Emma thought, you sometimes are. ‘It’s the end of term and you’re just tired. And I promise that once I’m home you can just put your feet up and have some time to yourself.’
‘So what are you wearing to this fancy party?’
‘I’ve no idea. I suppose I’ll have to buy something.’
‘Just tell me you’re not having dreams of being Cinderella.’
Emma looked around the turret bedroom, with its four-poster bed and velvet drapes. Then she looked at the rug in front of the log fire where, for a few special hours, she’d felt like the most irresistible, desirable woman on the planet. No one’s sister, no one’s PA and no one’s stand-in mother. A woman. She closed her eyes and pushed the thought away. ‘Can I speak to Jamie?’
‘He’s in the shower. He’s going to Sam’s to play this morning. I guessed it would take you a while to get home and I didn’t want him standing by the window watching for you all morning and nagging me. From the sound of it it’s just as well I made that decision.’
Emma felt a stab of guilt but at the same time she was relieved Jamie wasn’t there to hear Angela’s tirade. ‘Tell him I love him and I’ll call him again later.’
‘If you’re not too distracted by partying. Do I need to remind you that office romanc
es never cause anything but trouble?’
‘No, you don’t need to remind me of that.’
‘If you lose your job—’
‘I won’t lose my job.’ Emma ended the call, depressed by the encounter. She knew what was behind it. She understood why Angela behaved the way she did and she didn’t blame her for that, given everything that had happened in their family, but it was still hard to deal with.
She couldn’t think of anything worse than losing the job she had with Lucas but nor could she imagine anything more uncomfortable than spending the next few days in his company after what had happened.
What she really needed was space to sort her head out.
She needed to persuade him to let her go. How was she going to do that? What was the one thing that would make Lucas Jackson send a woman as far away from him as possible? The answer came to her almost immediately and Emma gave a tiny smile. Yes, she thought. That.
CHAPTER SIX
EMMA went in search of Lucas, trying to shake off the guilt that shadowed almost every conversation with her sister. She found him downstairs in a kitchen that looked like something that would have featured in a magazine shoot for a perfect country home. In fact the whole place would make the most incredible family home, she thought, as she looked around her. It should have been filled with happy children and noisy dogs.
Had he originally bought it for that purpose?
Her mind buzzed with questions but they were all too personal and she was trying to make their relationship less personal, so she didn’t voice them. And anyway, she knew he wouldn’t have answered them. That one devastating revelation of the night before had been dragged from him purely because she’d held precious evidence in her hand.
As she walked into the room he glanced towards her and she saw in an instant that everything about his body language was guarded.
Exploiting that, she leaned against the doorframe and gave him a soppy look. ‘While I was upstairs I was thinking a lot about last night.’ Watching, she saw the tension ripple through him like a current ready to repel intruders.
