by Anna Samuels
Chapter 12
Pizza and a friend
Alex followed me to the house in her car. We both parked on the drive and then I let us in. The house was cold and dark so I quickly turned on the heating and all the lights. After ordering a pizza from my mobile, I joined Alex in the lounge where she was waiting for me.
‘So this is the house you grew up in?’ she asked.
‘Yeah,’ I nodded. ‘We were here when I was born and it was home for me until I went away to University. I came back for a bit too…it was only when Mum died that we were left not knowing what to do with it.’
‘But you kept it?’ she asked.
‘Well no, actually…Laurie and I agreed to sell it in the end as she has her home and family and I was kind of settled in London. She was dealing with it all…’ I said and tailed off.
‘But?’ Alex prompted.
‘But when I revealed I had plans to come back here after my break-up, Laurie told me that she hadn’t sold the house…and that I could have it. Live here!’
‘Blimey! That was lucky!’ she exclaimed.
‘I know! I still can’t quite believe it,’ I told her.
‘But you’re happy?’ she questioned.
‘Yeah…very happy. It was and always has been my home…I love it here. I just got side-lined with being in London and not knowing how to get out of a rut. Mum would love it that I’m going to live here so that makes me feel good.’
Alex nodded slowly. ‘Will you show me round?’ she asked.
‘Of course!’ I smiled. ‘It’s all pretty sparse and waiting for an update but I’ll show you what’s here.’
I took Alex on a guided tour of the house, telling her about each room; how it had been in the past and what I planned on doing to it in the future. I took her upstairs and showed her our childhood bedrooms and my mother’s room. She took it all in quietly and didn’t start speaking again until we reached the attic.
‘Wow!’ Alex exclaimed. ‘It’s like a treasure trove!’
‘Yeah…’ I grinned. ‘You see I told you I had been an artist for more than a few minutes!’
‘Absolutely! Look at all of these things! Are you planning on selling them?’ she asked.
I nodded enthusiastically. ‘This is most of the stuff I have made to date…I’ll start by attempting to sell some of this.’
‘So, what did you think had happened to everything if you thought Laurie had sold the house?’
‘I asked Laurie to have anything of mine put into storage. After that I didn’t even think about it,’ I told her.
‘And now you’ve come back to find its all still here!’
I smiled at her. ‘That’s right. Good huh? Good for the gallery!’
‘It sure is! I wandered where all your stock would come from,’ she murmured.
‘Oh this isn’t all,’ I told her. ‘There’s more to move down from London actually.’
‘There is?’
‘Yeah…I couldn’t quite give up my art when I was living up there so I painted in secret,’ I chuckled.
‘In secret?’ she asked with an amused frown.
‘Oh my partner, Sarah, didn’t approve…she was a bit serious and self-centred shall we say. I painted privately and stored them in a storage unit,’ I chuckled.
‘You didn’t?’
I nodded, ‘I did. I once did a painting in her flat and suggested I hang it on the wall…she wasn’t having any of it and asked for me not to interfere with her carefully decorated flat!’
‘But wasn’t it your home too?’ Alex asked with a frown.
‘It was meant to be,’ I mused. ‘But looking back, it never felt like home in many ways. It was her flat, her rules and I was definitely made aware of that. She wasn’t very flexible in adapting to living with someone else.’
‘How did you stand it for so long?’ Alex asked.
I shrugged, looking around. ‘I don’t know looking back…I mean, what was I doing? It was going nowhere and our life together made me miserable! But onward and upward,’ I said, changing the subject. ‘I’m moving on from those days.’
‘Yeah…sounds like a plan,’ she replied thoughtfully. ‘So, this is a lot of stuff to move…’
I nodded, ‘Yeah…it’ll keep me busy at the weekends.’
‘Yes, I can imagine. Well, if you need any help, I’m more than willing to come and help you shift stuff.’
‘Oh thanks for the offer…I’m sure I’ll be fine but thanks anyway!’
She grinned at me. ‘Do you ever accept any help offered?’
I chuckled, ‘I am a little bit independent.’
‘I’ve noticed,’ she smiled. ‘But that has its advantage.’
‘It sure does.’
As I smiled at her, my stomach clenched with awareness once again. I tried to dismiss it immediately but the way she was smiling at me kept my eyes linked with hers. I suddenly became more aware of the intimacy of the situation we were in. We stood closely, in a darkened attic, with just the two of us alone in a small space. I felt my breathing quicken and looked away to shield my reaction from her. I couldn’t keep responding like this, I told myself. She was trying to be friendly, and I kept wanting more. I told myself it had to stop now.
‘Well, shall we head back down? The pizza should be here soon.’
‘Yeah, good plan.’
We went back down the stairs and reached the lounge. I offered Alex a drink and after collecting us both a glass of wine, settled on the sofa across from her.
‘Ah,’ I breathed as I sank into the plush, comfortable seat.
‘I bet you could do with relaxing.’
I nodded, ‘Yeah…I sure could. What a horrible week!’ I said on an exhalation of air.
‘Yeah…but you’re not talking about it, remember?’
‘Oh yeah…’ I smiled, laughing at myself.
‘But sometimes it’s good to talk, right?’
I nodded slowly, looking at her. Aside from her good looks, she carried an air of intelligence, a certain wise air to her presence which was intriguing. ‘I just…I don’t know…teaching isn’t what I imagined it to be.’
‘You don’t enjoy it?’ she asked.
‘I enjoy the bit where I teach the children, but sadly that isn’t what the job is all about anymore. Everything else just gets in the way.’
‘How do you mean?’ she wondered.
‘It’s the politics, the endless paperwork, planning and assessment…the out of hours work which is expected of you and just makes you feel like you’re drowning half the time. The meetings, the after school clubs, the observations and Ofsted visits. It’s all too much and I don’t enjoy it, no. Teaching isn’t about teaching anymore and I’m constantly feeling too stressed to enjoy the time with the children. That’s why I know I need to leave.’
‘Would you ever go back? Maybe in a different school locally?’ she asked.
‘I might have to if the gallery doesn’t work out, but no…that’s not my plan. I know it sounds idealistic but I’d actually like more for myself than that. I think I’ve put in a lot in my years teaching. Now, I want something for me.’
Alex nodded at me, with a glint of something undefinable in her eye. ‘You know something, Ally?’
‘What?’
‘I think you’ll succeed. Do you know why?’ she asked.
‘No…why?’
‘Because the same light which is missing in your eyes when you talk about teaching, is there in abundance when you talk about or share your art. You love art, and as you’re passionate about it, I know you’ll do well.’
‘You have such confidence in me and I haven’t even opened, Alex!’
‘True…but who sold a piece as soon as you were setting up?’ she asked with a grin.
‘Little old me,’ I said, returning her smile.
The knock on the door interrupted our conversation and the eye contact we had been sharing. The phrase ‘saved by the bell’ came to mind as I answered the door because despite
my best intentions, I couldn’t stop my awareness and thoughts of Alex when she looked at me like that.
I paid the delivery boy and dumped the box on the table.
‘Yum!’ I exclaimed lifting the lid. ‘Goodness, I’m starving,’ I murmured choosing a piece and devouring it.
Alex lifted a slice of pizza and began eating it.
‘This is so good!’
‘It is…blimey, how do you eat so much and stay so slim?’ she asked admiringly.
I frowned at her a little. ‘Oh I don’t…’ I murmured.
‘What? You’re tiny!’
‘Mmm,’ I murmured around pizza. I waited to swallow before answering. ‘I’m not naturally this skinny. I haven’t been eating properly lately…stress and stuff,’ I told her, embarrassed.
‘Oh I’m sorry! And there’s me putting my foot in it and pointing it out! I’m so sorry!’
‘No, no…nothing to be sorry about. I just don’t eat when I get stressed out. I literally forget to eat anything and have been known to go the whole day before eating something. Laurie’s clocked it though and is helping me to put some weight back on with her delicious home cooking. I’ll be healthy again soon.’
‘Oh you don’t look unhealthy, Ally. You’ve always looked great, ever since I met you!’ she told me kindly.
‘Ah…well, thank you for saying that, but I know I’ve lost serious weight. It’s just not deliberate or anything.’
‘Well, I could do with laying off the chocolate to be honest,’ she smiled. ‘Next to you I look like an elephant!’
‘Don’t be ridiculous!’ I exclaimed hotly. ‘You’re gorgeous! You have the perfect figure, Alex. You don’t need to change anything.’
Alex looked up at me from under her lashes. Her gaze was intense but warm. ‘That’s the most absurd thing I’ve ever heard…but thank you for saying so anyway.’
‘You think I’m just saying that?’ I asked, finishing my slice of pizza.
‘Uh huh,’ she nodded.
‘Well I’m not. You look athletic…that’s how I’d describe you. I think you have a great figure and I’m not just saying so. I’d love to be taller with athletic strength like you seem to have.’
‘Oh stop!’ she said chuckling, ‘you’re embarrassing me!’
I smiled, ‘Well, you started it,’ I reminded her.
‘Yeah…so what’s your type?’ she asked as I picked up more pizza.
‘My type? As in women?’
‘Yeah…and has it always been women?’ she wondered.
‘It has, yeah. I’ve never had or wanted a relationship with a man. Have you?’
‘Nope…never.’
‘Well, I knew from well…I guess really about eighteen but I was a little bit confused from earlier than that. Type wise…I don’t know really.’
‘You don’t know?’ she asked.
‘Well I haven’t found the right woman yet so I’ve clearly been going for the wrong type.’
‘What was Sarah like?’
I ate for a moment, considering how to answer the question. ‘In looks or personality?’
‘Both I guess.’
‘Looks wise…well she was pretty. Long dark hair and slim with pretty eyes. Personality wise, she was…well at first she was good to be with because she was intelligent, witty and gave me company. She was also pretty grumpy, stroppy and hard to live with.’
Alex chuckled. ‘Sounds familiar…’
I met her eyes, ‘Oh yeah? How so?’
She shrugged a little reluctantly. ‘I just…I’ve known other women like that. It can get annoying.’
‘It sure can…’
‘So maybe your type is dark haired, slim women?’ she suggested.
‘No…I’ve dated all different types actually. I’ve never settled on one. How about you?’ I asked, thinking about her partner, Jenny.
‘Well, I’ve been with Jenny for ages. I guess she’s my type.’
‘You’ve never had any other types?’
‘I haven’t had much success with other relationships to be honest. With Jenny it lasted because we started off as friends I think.’
‘Oh right! How did you meet her?’ I asked, curiously.
‘We met a long time ago at University. We were placed in the same flats in the first year and we became friends.’
‘And then became a couple?’ I wondered.
‘No, actually. Back then we were both seeing other women. We were just friends. Years later, we reunited at a meeting of old friends and started chatting. Things kind of went from there,’ she murmured.
‘Wow…it must be nice to have been friends first…to know each other inside out.’
‘Mmm, yeah I guess,’ she replied and didn’t continue.
Her answer intrigued me but it felt rude to ask further questions so I didn’t. ‘Have you always dated women then?’
‘Yes. I tried to be one of the girls at secondary school and pretended to be interested in the boys but it just wasn’t happening. I knew for sure when I fell in love with my best friend at school. That went badly,’ she chuckled, ‘but I knew from that point on that only women would do!’
‘It’s not an easy path though, is it?’
‘No,’ she agreed. ‘It certainly isn’t.’
‘I almost envy my sister which is awful. There’s been many times I have wished I was interested in men and that I had married and had children by now. It’s not the man I want, it’s the traditional set up I don’t want to miss out on just because I’m gay.’
‘The thing is; you don’t have to miss out on those things. I’m sure you won’t!’
‘No…I hope not…anyway, we’re getting all deep and meaningful! Sorry! Tonight was meant to be a simple chill out evening.’
‘Its fine, Ally. It’s just nice to get to know you better…seeing as we’re going to be working together soon.’
‘Yeah…’ I said, imagining the day when I would be working at Hope Beach instead of in London. ‘I can’t wait.’
‘So what would you be doing if I wasn’t here tonight?’ Alex asked then. ‘To relax…’
I thought for a minute. ‘Well…this for a start-eating junk food to cheer myself up. Also I would change into comfy clothes, watch a film or read a book.’
‘Perfect,’ she smiled. ‘You’re not one of these people who go for a run to relax.’
I laughed, ‘No, not me…I like a walk here and there but I don’t and have never been a runner!’
She grinned, ‘me neither. I’d far rather sit around watching a film to relax. Jenny thinks otherwise but hey ho!’
‘Oh really? Is she a runner then?’
‘Yeah! And everything else under the sun. She used to drag me out with her in the early days but not anymore,’ she laughed. ‘She knows better now. The thing is my job is very physical where she is sat at desks all day. When I get home, I just want to put my feet up. She wants the opposite.’
‘I guess it’s understandable. Each to their own, I say!’
‘Here, here,’ she agreed heartily.
‘So have you always worked in similar roles to the business you’re running now?’
‘Yes. It’s been in the family since I was born. My Mum and Dad ran hotels you see. We moved around a little when I was young, from one hotel to another but then they bought one on Bournemouth seafront and didn’t look back. I learnt from them from the age of six. Those days are long gone now but they taught me everything I know…I went and did a degree in business and marketing but there’s nothing I learnt from University that I didn’t already know from my parent’s.’
‘That’s amazing…so, do you mean your parent’s have passed on now?’ I asked gently.
‘No!’ she exclaimed surprised. ‘Not at all! They’re just retired, Ally! Living the life of riley with the huge amount of money they earned from the hotel. They have a home in Bournemouth by the sea and a holiday house in Spain. Both are gorgeous and they’re very happy.’
‘Oh how lovely! Sorry
, I didn’t mean to assume anything!’
‘No matter…you weren’t to know,’ she smiled.
‘So is it just you? Or do you have brothers and sisters?’
‘I have an older brother, Andrew and an even older sister called Marie. Andrew lives in Kent with his wife and three children. Marie lives in Southampton and is married too. She has a little boy and is pregnant with her second.’
‘Wow! How wonderful! Are you all close?’ I wondered.
‘Yeah we are actually. We get together often and love each other to bits. We grew up in each other’s pockets and are still very fond of each other. I love seeing them too because the kids are great too. It’s so funny because they’re literally little clones. My brother’s little boy is him at age six. It’s fascinating to see.’
I smiled, ‘It would be lovely, wouldn’t it? Just having the chance to have a child you’ve made and see what you’ve created.’
Alex nodded. ‘Yeah…I’d kind of put it out of my mind, but sometimes I do feel like I’m missing something.’
‘Maybe Jenny would change her mind somewhere along the line,’ I suggested.
‘I don’t think so somehow…but well…oh I don’t know…so, you’re clearly close to Laurie and family,’ she said changing the subject.
‘I am,’ I said nodding. ‘Well, they’re all I have left really so I make the most of the time I have with them. The children are the best too. I love them both to bits.’
‘I could see that when I saw them with you the other day. So, no other family?’ she asked.
I shook my head. ‘No…we lost Dad a long time ago now and Mum just over a year ago. I have no other close family, a few distant aunts and uncles but no-one close. I guess I just need to start thinking about creating my own, then I’ll stop being lonely.’
She nodded. ‘Well, I know it’s not family, but it’s nice having you as a new friend,’ she smiled. ‘It’s been long time since I had a proper friend to talk to…you know, someone aside from Jenny.’
‘It’s good to have friends,’ I agreed. ‘And thanks for saying that. I feel exactly the same.’
‘To friendship,’ Alex said, smiling and raising her glass across the room to me.
