by Anna Samuels
‘No! There’s certainly not! And don’t give her the time of day! You shouldn’t have any more contact with her after this!’ she exclaimed.
‘Well I don’t need to now. Ally made sure of that today.’
‘How so?’ Laura asked.
‘She went to the house and collected my things for me!’ Alex told her mother.
‘You did?’ she said, whirling to look at me. ‘Good girl! Did you see her?’ she asked dramatically.
‘I sure did,’ I told her grumpily. ‘She was rude…’
‘Was she?’ she exclaimed, hanging on my every word.
‘Yeah she was…so I was rude back, and I told her if she wanted me to take Alex’s things, then she had to load them into my car.’
‘You didn’t!’
‘I did,’ I said, chuckling to myself. ‘It took her about ten or twelve trips to lug it all out. Serves her right!’ I added.
‘You have a good friend here, Alex,’ Laura said to her.
‘I know,’ she agreed. ‘Ally also argued with her, didn’t you Ally?’
‘I did. I told her she was a fool basically. I told her she had lost a wonderful woman but I don’t think she cared. She was very self-absorbed and not seemingly very concerned about the impact it might have on Alex.’
‘What a fool,’ Alex’s father muttered.
I nodded in agreement.
‘I’ll come through it, Dad,’ Alex told him. ‘I’ll be fine in time.’
‘Why don’t you come home for a while?’ he offered.
‘I’ll be home loads, Dad. But Ally has said I can stay here for a while, so I’m going to do that right now.’
‘It’s a good idea,’ Laura added. ‘You two are much better suited that you were with Jenny Alex.’
‘Mum!’ Alex groaned, clearly mortified.
‘It’s okay, Alex,’ I murmured, as I felt myself turning red. ‘But actually, we’re just friends,’ I told her.
‘Oh yes? Remember when we were ‘just friends?’ Laura said to Jack, winking at him with a wicked glint in her eye.
Jack chuckled heartily, his booming voice filling the room. I glanced at Alex who met my eyes with a smile. We clearly were fooling no-one.
‘Please, have something to eat,’ I said, gesturing to the table and hoping to change the subject away from Alex and I.
‘Don’t mind if I do!’ Jack said smiling. ‘Thank you, Ally.’
‘My pleasure,’ I smiled.
‘This is lovely, Ally,’ Laura agreed. ‘I bet you’re taking wonderful care of our daughter!’
‘I’m doing my best,’ I assured her.
‘Well, so long as you’re eating and sleeping Alex, I’ll be happy that you’re here under the care of Ally.’
‘I’m fine Mum, really!’
‘You’re not fine but let’s not argue. We’re here to show you support. How about we eat and change the subject? I still would love to hear about all of your wonderful art work, Ally!’
‘Okay then,’ I smiled, pleased to be off the more embarrassing subject of Alex.
As I answered Laura’s million questions, everyone ate the food from the buffet and there was a warm, comfortable atmosphere around the table. I let myself relax and enjoy the conversation, happy to be involved in part of a family again.
Chapter 25
Living as friends
Alex’s parents left an hour later, after multiple more questions about Jenny and what had passed. When they left, I found I felt exhausted from all their chatter, let alone how Alex must be feeling.
‘I’m done in now,’ Alex complained as we headed back into the lounge.
I slumped down on the sofa and Alex sat across from me. ‘Me too! So many questions!’
‘I know. They’re very well-meaning but I feel like I’ve just been through a round a questioning!’
‘So do I,’ I laughed, ‘and I wasn’t even the focus!’
She smiled, ‘Sorry…not the most relaxed evening you could have had on Christmas Eve,’ she murmured.
I gasped in surprise. ‘It is isn’t it? It’s Christmas Eve!’
‘It is...’
‘I’d completely forgotten what with everything going on!’ I told her.
‘Had you? Yeah…it feels a little different this year,’ she said quietly.
‘What are your plans this year?’
‘I would have normally spent the day with Jenny…we always did the rest of the family in the days after Christmas. Normally we would go to my parents on Boxing Day and hers a few days later. Oh, by the way Ally, rest assured, whatever you have planned, I won’t intrude on you this Christmas.’
‘Oh don’t be silly, Alex…how many more times do I have to tell you that you’re more than welcome?’
‘So, what are you doing?’ she asked.
‘I’d arranged to go and see Laurie and the family in the afternoon for a bit. She asked me to go for Christmas lunch but I lied and said I was seeing a friend because I know she would probably like to have a Christmas dinner where it’s just her, Daniel and the kids.’
‘Ah…so you’re not actually seeing a friend?’
‘No. I was going to cook a nice roast and paint. Then see Laurie from 2pm.’
‘Am I going to be in your way then?’ she asked carefully.
‘No, Alex, you’re not. If you’d like to, I’d very much like you to join me. For lunch and when visiting Laurie.’
‘I couldn’t do that,’ she all but whispered, ‘it’s too much Ally…too much for you to offer such a kind gesture.’
‘But the thing is Alex, I’d love to have you be part of my Christmas. Just say yes, huh?’ I asked, pleading softly.
‘I uh…well yes…thank you, Ally.’
‘We could cook the roast together,’ I smiled. ‘And watch Christmas films and TV.’
She smiled at me.
‘It’ll be a quiet morning, but should be relaxing.’
‘It sounds perfect,’ she told me quietly.
‘What would your Christmas day normally be like? If you don’t mind me asking?’
‘No, I don’t mind. Well, it has usually been just Jenny and I on the day itself. It was ok for the first years but then when we knew each other better, the day would have arguments over the cooking. She was a perfectionist in the kitchen you see.’
‘I would have just left her to it,’ I murmured.
‘I did after a while. And also she banned me from the kitchen,’ she said with a wry expression.
‘She did?’ I exclaimed.
‘Yeah…on Christmas day at least.’
‘What a shame,’ I commented. ‘Half the fun is making the roast together, surely?’
‘It should have been,’ she said quietly, ‘but the more I think about it, the relationship was flawed in so many ways.’
‘You weren’t happy?’ I asked.
‘I was…I don’t know…I definitely wasn’t happy for the last few years…I had kind of told myself that I should be content with what I had…even though I wasn’t.’
‘I did the same for so long. I was just kind of sleep walking through life at times.’
‘I think I was doing the same. Sometimes it’s hard to recognise when you’re in the midst of things.’
‘It is, yes. I think I went along with a sort of half-life for such a long time that it became normal,’ I told her.
Alex nodded thoughtfully. ‘Who was I trying to kid?’ she said to herself. ‘I mean, there was nothing left between us really. We didn’t talk, we just argued. She was always out in the evenings and our love life was non-existent.’
My ears perked up at this. ‘Really?’ I said, surprised and pleased for a reason I didn’t allow myself to think about.
‘Yeah…literally non-existent.’
‘For how long?’ I questioned.
‘Months…a year maybe. We even had separate bedrooms at times because of our different sleeping schedules and she didn’t like being crowded when she slept.’
‘Oh
,’ I said, confused by that. Surely having Alex to cuddle up to would be a situation close to heaven sent?
‘What about yours?’
‘Well I guess we maintained a love-life,’ I told her slowly, ‘but there wasn’t much…there wasn’t much there, if you know what I mean.’
‘Passion?’
‘Yeah…no real chemistry,’ I said, glancing up at her from under my lashes.
‘I understand,’ she replied. ‘I mean, I know you don’t want me talking about this, but it wasn’t really until we kissed that I knew what I was missing.’
‘How so?’ I asked, intrigued.
‘Well, we share such...chemistry, I guess you would call it. I’ve never felt that kind of connection with anyone apart from you.’
I met her eyes, which were darkened and intense. ‘Really?’
‘Yes. The kiss threw me completely, Ally. I was getting on with things, trying to ignore the attraction to you and focus on Jenny but once we kissed, I knew I couldn’t continue anymore.’
‘With Jenny?’ I questioned.
‘Yes. I was thinking of ending it before I found out she cheated,’ she revealed.
‘You were? Why?’ I asked, surprised.
‘Because of you,’ she said quietly.
‘Me?’
‘Yes, you, Ally.’
I met her eyes and felt my heart thumping rapidly in my chest.
‘I know it was a festive, special night, but there was magic in that kiss. Whether or not you want to deny it, we share a special connection, Ally.’
I sighed heavily and held her eye contact. ‘I don’t deny it, Alex. I also won’t deny that kissing you was the single most wonderful moment I have ever had in my life to date. All I’m saying, is our timing is somewhat off.’
‘You thought it was wonderful?’ she asked smiling softly.
I smiled back, ‘It was incredible,’ I said, as my body tingled for her with desire.
‘I thought so too…so what are you saying about the timing?’
‘I’m saying that when we kissed you were in a relationship…’
‘I’m not anymore,’ she argued.
‘No…but you are only just out of it. I’m pretty sure you don’t want to hop from one serious relationship to another and also you’ll need time to get over losing Jenny. Even though I didn’t love Sarah anymore, I still needed some time to think through the situation.’
She nodded, ‘What did you do?’
‘I talked to Laurie…I cried, I thought about my future. I made new plans. I made a new friend,’ I said smiling at her.
Alex looked down at her lap, ‘So, what are you saying about us?’
‘I don’t really know…I do know that you need some time, and I need some time to be ready for the next step to.’
‘So, you’re saying what? That when we’re ready…?’
‘I don’t know, Alex. Can we just play it by ear?’ I asked.
‘Of course we can. I guess I just wanted to know that we’re on the same page. I wanted to know you were feeling what I’m feeling.’
I nodded, ‘Of course I am, Alex. I don’t think I’m hiding it particularly well,’ I chuckled.
She smiled at me. ‘I don’t know what you’re thinking, Ally…but I sometimes think I know what you’re feeling.’
I nodded, understanding her completely. ‘So friends for now?’
‘Friends…for now,’ she agreed.
‘So friend…how about we get a Christmas tree up and decorated? With all the chaos this month, I haven’t had a chance!’
‘Oh yeah! Great idea! Let’s put Christmas music on, drink wine and decorate the tree! It’ll be so much fun,’ she grinned.
‘You look just like an excited kid right now,’ I told her merrily.
‘Why not, hey? I love Christmas! Let’s get in the spirit!’
‘Sounds perfect to me! I’ll go and bring the stuff down. Would you find a CD?’ I asked her.
‘Sure.’
I headed off to find the decorations while Alex found the music. I found myself smiling to myself as I jogged up the stairs.
An hour and a half later, we had a beautifully decorated tree and we were a little bit merry on wine. We settled down on the sofa to watch an old Christmas film, sharing a blanket across a three seater sofa.
We watched fairly quietly, as night drew in and it became colder and late. When the couple kissed at the end and the credits rolled, Alex turned to me with a questioning look.
‘Another film or bed?’ she asked.
My mind quickly went to intimate places it shouldn’t have. ‘I uh, what do you want to do?’
I wondered.
‘I’m just happy when I’m with you, so it doesn’t matter to me either way.’
I sighed and looked down. ‘I wish you wouldn’t say things like that.’
‘What? That I enjoy being with you? It’s true.’
‘I know…and I feel happy being with you too but the thing is, I’m trying pretty hard here,’ I admitted.
‘Trying hard to do what?’ she asked.
‘To stay away from you,’ I said quietly.
‘Oh,’ she murmured.
‘Do you want to stay away from me?’
‘Not really,’ I said openly.
‘Then don’t! I’m not waiting for anything, aside from you saying yes!’
‘I can’t,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘It’s not right yet…if it was, I would know it somehow.’
‘How?’ she said looking confused.
‘I don’t know! The universe! It would give me a clear sign!’ I told her.
‘What on earth are you talking about?’ she said, chuckling and shaking her head.
‘If it was meant to be right now, I would see a clear sign…sent from somewhere above,’ I told her.
Alex looked around the room comically. ‘Uh, no sign,’ she finally said. ‘Looks like tonight’s not the night!’
I grinned at her, amused by her antics. ‘No…well, I’m pretty tired. I might head up to bed.’
‘Me too,’ she said standing, ‘but remember! There’s no sign! So we are going to bed separately!’
I nodded, smiling. I then followed her to the door which led to the stairs.
Alex opened the door and paused stock still for a moment.
‘What is it?’ I asked.
‘A sign!’ she exclaimed.
‘Oh, ha ha. Very funny, Alex,’ I said from behind her.
‘No really! Look!’ she said, stepping out my way.
I looked beyond her and down to the carpet, where lay an item from the Christmas box I had brought down earlier. It was mistletoe; the clearest possible sign we could have been given.
‘Oh my goodness,’ I murmured under my breath.
Alex picked up the mistletoe and then walked towards me. ‘So…what should I do with this?’ she asked. ‘Back in the box?’
I looked up at her, my heart beginning to thunder in my chest at the thought of being able to kiss her once again. ‘I, uh…I guess one kiss may not cause too many problems.’
Alex held my eye contact intently, ‘Exactly what I was thinking,’ she murmured. Her eyes dipped lower until they settled on my mouth. I felt myself shaking, not through fear but because I was so incredibly attracted to her. I looked up and met her eyes once more, finding clear desire for me written all over her face.
‘Kiss me, Ally,’ she murmured.
With my heart pounding in my chest, I stepped into her arms.
The first touch of my lips to hers was soft; a gentle and hesitant contact which burned my soft lips. I felt her relax against me with a soft sigh and when she tilted her head to one side to deepen the kiss, I was lost.
Passion exploded between us in an instant. Our mouths moved eagerly, desperate for each other’s long-awaited touch. Her mouth moved slickly over mine, her tongue seeking mine. I responded instinctively, giving myself up to her touch.
As she deepened the kiss, her hands drew my body closer stil
l. I felt my nipples tightening in delicious response and my stomach flipped over with desire. My head was roaring with the intensity of the moment as she set my skin aflame.
I opened my mouth and let my tongue glide with hers. She tasted incredible and I realised I had never been kissed with such utter abandon.
When Alex finally lifted her head from mine, her eyes stared into mine intensely. Her look was questioning, her eyes hazy with desire.
‘Come to bed,’ she said softly.
I held her eyes, I couldn’t look away. I didn’t have any fight left inside me. ‘Yes,’ I told her simply. Alex took my hand and led me up the stairs.
Chapter 26
Christmas Eve magic
We slowly climbed the stairs to the dark upstairs. With Alex’s hand linked with mine, she led me into my bedroom.
The room was cold and dim; only the light from the moon glimmered through the window. Alex stopped at the foot of the bed and turned to face me, her eyes linking with mine and keeping me captive. There was no need for words, there was no need for questions…we both knew what we wanted in that moment and I knew there was no stopping it now.
Alex reached for me in the darkness and I moved willingly into her arms. Her head bent to mine and she kissed me lightly on the lips. Her touch was gentle; exploratory. I leaned into her body and responded in kind. My reaction to her felt so natural, so easy and yet every touch still filled me with the most delicious tension.
Alex’s mouth moved then, slanting over mine in a sudden deepening movement. I held on to her tightly as her tongue found mine and began to dance. Swift arousal flooded my system. I felt drunk on desire and ached for her to touch me more intimately.
I found I didn’t need to wait for long. Alex’s hands began to wander. She slowly ran them up my sides and then around to cup my aching breasts. She massaged their softness through the material of my heavy jumper and I groaned against her mouth. Alex tore her mouth away and looked down at me with hazy eyes. I met them, feeling dizzy with pleasure; breathless with anticipation.
‘Ally,’ she whispered into the darkness.
