“Sure does. I have the master bath finished. It’s up the stairs and to the left. This is the only bedroom on the first floor. I think I’m going to turn it into an office.”
“And tonight you got a head start. I see.”
He took another look at the room around them, trying to see it from her point of view. It wasn’t a very flattering picture, was it?
“Look, the upper floor…I’m almost finished with it. Come upstairs, we’ll watch a movie, order a real pizza, and just talk.”
“Not with you looking like that. You look pretty rough.” He probably stunk too, didn’t he?
“I’ll shower. Fifteen minutes, tops.”
“I’ll hold you to that.”
Chapter 27
She didn't know what to do while she waited on him. So she focused on the house. He'd worked hard on it since she'd visited last. It was almost habitable. A few more weeks of dedicated attention, and it would be perfect. Josh had some serious skills, and she didn't just mean in his work for the CCU. But if the condition of the room was any indication the man was living like a pig. She found trash bags in the kitchen and set about cleaning up what she could see. The empty pizza box and empty beer bottles worried her. What was he doing himself?
She had her answer when she realized most of the bottles had liquid remaining. Did he know he’d done that?
He wasn't the only one affected by the case; there were other victims besides his friend. But—was it just the case? He’d not been himself since the Tyler case, had he?
He stepped out of the hallway and into what she thought would one day be the dining room. He did not have a shirt on and the jeans he wore rode low on his hips.
Why had she never noticed just how defined he actually was? He looked ripped under his nerd sweaters and polos, deceptively so. Did he realize that? When in reality he was almost perfectly sculpted. He looked like a statue with toned muscles, flat abs, and a thin line of brown hair that disappeared beneath his waistband. Yes, she definitely wanted to touch. Her fingers curled, she shoved her uncasted hand in her pocket before she did something totally stupid.
“Sorry. Haven't done laundry.”
“Hey, I've seen it all before you know.”
***
Josh didn’t want to think about that. He didn't know why, he just didn't. The idea of another man in her life…it pissed him off to even think of it.
He’d never been jealous over a woman before. He didn’t like it. “You didn't need to clean up after me.”
“No? The smell of stale pizza and beer made me want to throw up. What's going on, Josh? Are you quitting the CCU? Everyone says you walked out.”
“I’m considering it. I don’t know if it’s what I want to do anymore. If I can do it anymore.”
“I see. Because of the Silvio case?”
“In a way. Partially. But it’s other things. The Tyler kid. Tennessee. Becca. All of it. It doesn’t seem to end, Kel. And I don’t know if I can keep doing it knowing that.”
“Oh.” Kelly looked around, and he wondered what she was thinking; it was always hard to get a read on her. She'd learned long ago to hide herself from the world around her. “Well, now that I know you're not drowning in beer and choking on your own spit, I'll leave you alone.”
“You don't have to go. We can order Chinese, pop in an old movie, and you can help me with the forensic reports.” He didn’t want her to go. Not now.
He already felt more in control, just having her there—and having showered. He’d kind of lost it when he’d gotten home after leaving the CCU. Everything he’d worked for since college had culminated in his assignment for the CCU.
The idea that he might not want it anymore had threatened to drown him there for a while.
Until Kelly. A purple and red light. Funny, that though.
And he wanted to be with her. He could already feel some of the ghosts haunting him slipping away.
***
She stared at him until they were both ready to squirm. It didn’t matter to her that he was wearing nothing but a pair of faded denim, and his hair was wet and slicked back on his head. That his eyes were sad behind the gold wire frame glasses he wore. She'd always loved it when he wore his glasses. They made him look all nerdy and well…beautifully intellectual.
Something in those eyes told her not to go. That her place was right there for the moment. “Okay, but I get to pick the movie. And the food because—no offense—after seeing all this, I'm not sure I'll ever want pizza again.”
It started off awkward, but after a little while she realized it was just Josh, her friend. At least it was for her, he was right there and seemed fine. But the knowledge that he was attracted to her—seriously attracted—had her more aware of him than she’d ever been. She made sure to keep space in between them on the couch or rather what passed as his couch—the old metal futon wasn't the least bit comfortable at all. He ordered Chinese from her favorite restaurant, knowing exactly what she wanted. He did know her well, didn't he? Probably just as well as she knew him. After a while, he asked if she was cold. He pulled a blanket from the back of the futon and threw it over the two of them. “Just try not to hog it, will you?”
“With all this body heat? You're like a living furnace, aren't you?” Hot, strong, right there and safe. So almost…normal.
So why did she want to grab him and just go for it? Live the risk?
But even though they were both aware of the change between them, he would never push her more than she wanted to—or was capable of—going. He wouldn’t do that because he wouldn’t want to hurt her.
And she knew that. She wouldn’t forget that.
That had some of her nerves alleviating. As the movie went on, she snuggled closer to his side almost unconsciously. Before long, she let her head rest on his shoulder, feeling absolutely comfortable. Too comfortable, and she would have to be going home soon. But the last thing she wanted to do in that moment was move.
“You okay?”
“Of course.” Why wouldn’t she be? It was just a harmless movie with a friend. That's all. Her friend just happened to be a guy who’d put the moves on her. That did make her a little nervous. She wasn't too proud to admit that, but she also knew that she'd come a long way in the year and a half that she’d known him. “Just tired; it was a long day today.”
***
Josh slipped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer. She did smell good, didn't she? Kelly preferred fruity shampoos over floral. He had always liked that about her. He adjusted the blanket around them both, wanting to trap as much body heat as he could. The air conditioning in the house was old and hard to control the temperature. “The movie’s not over yet.”
“No. I know it’s not. But it is getting late, and I do have to drive home.” She said around a yawn. “I do love this movie, though.”
“I know.” He had known; that's why he had slipped it in the DVD player. “Finish the movie, you can go in a little bit. Hell, if you're too tired to drive, I'll give you a lift.” He liked that idea a lot better. But what he didn't like was the idea of her driving at nearly two o'clock in the morning as tired as she was, even though her house was close enough they could walk. Maybe they should. And he’d drive her car over in the morning, and they could spend her day off together. Like a normal couple would.
That thought had his arm tightening around her.
She agreed, and he wondered if it was because she was too tired to realize what she was saying. It wasn't like her to give in so easily.
Josh smiled. He looked over at her just in time to see her head drop onto his shoulder. Poor Kelly, hadn’t she worked a double before checking on him? Guilt flooded him; she hadn't needed to do that. He was fine, and he had the woman he wanted sleeping in his arms, he pulled her closer. She did not protest.
He just held her, enjoying the feeling of her long, lean body in his arms. He was a healthy male, after all. He’d be taking advantage of the situation first chance he could—a
s soon as she was awake and aware.
His mother had raised him to be a gentleman, especially with the women he cared about. But...Kelly was technically sound asleep in his bed, what was he to do about that? The Fates must be laughing at him somewhere.
He only had the one blanket and the one pillow at this place. She rolled over, and his decision was made. Hell, he was just as tired. His day hadn’t been too great to begin with, and he’d spent several hours yanking up old floor boards. He hurt in places he didn’t want to think about.
He sighed, maybe he wasn’t that much of a gentleman, after all.
Josh wrapped himself around her and figured if she got pissed off—her father could shoot him in the morning with the very gun he’d given Josh.
That would be fitting, wouldn’t it?
Chapter 28
Josh was the first one awake the next morning. Someone was pressed up against him on the futon, and he immediately knew who it was—purple and red hair was unmistakable when he opened his eyes. The sight of her sleeping face brought everything rushing back to him. He moved his arm and hooked it around her waist to keep her from tumbling to the floor.
Somehow in the night they had shifted until he was pushed against the back of the futon. She was cuddled in his arms, he could feel her breath against his neck. Before he realized what he was doing, he started running his fingers through her hair. She had extremely soft hair, and it hung halfway down her back. He searched out the purple strands. They were so distinctly Kelly. He couldn't imagine her without them. Should he wake her? He didn't want to let go of her.
She felt so perfect pressed against him.
There was a breast next to his hand, and he wanted to touch. He’d had thought of Kelly and breasts in the same thought before over the last week. His fingers curled as he fought the urge to touch. He would not do that to her, not while she slept.
He knew her well enough to know that she would be extremely embarrassed to wake and find him touching her—at least any more than he already had. Still, it took everything he had to pull his fingers out of her hair. He wanted to lay where he was for a long time, but the thought of her embarrassment was enough to have him carefully, sliding out from beneath the blanket and climbing over her. He shifted her closer to the back of the futon, wanting to make sure she would not roll onto the floor. He’d learned one thing in the last hours—Kelly was an extremely restless sleeper. If he hadn't held her through the night, she most likely would've fallen to the floor several times. If he’d been able to without waking her, he’d have folded the futon down into a full bed. But he hadn’t wanted to risk it.
It hadn't been a hardship to hold her through the night. It had been quite a while since he done just that with a woman that he cared about. Josh hadn’t realized how much he’d missed it. He straightened the blanket over her, and then stood staring at her for a moment.
He was half tempted to wake her up just to see her eyes. Knowing her, though, she'd probably freak out if she woke up and saw him standing right there beside her, looming. She was very skittish that way. The psychologist in him had a few theories as to why. But thinking in that general direction usually ended up with him angry, so he pushed those thoughts away.
Today wasn’t for anger.
She’d probably wake hungry and confused and embarrassed. The least he could do was make her breakfast and try not to think about how perfect the breast he'd almost touched would have been.
This was not some one night stand he had picked up somewhere—if he was the kind of guy to pick up women. Which he was not. No, if he was involved with a woman, then he was involved with only one woman, and he treated her with respect.
Especially Kelly. More than any other woman in his life, he would treat her the way his mother would have wanted.
Chapter 29
Kelly smelled pancakes when she woke. Pancakes and Josh. Where was he? She sat up, pushing the blanket aside and looked around the small room. It took her a second or two to remember where she was…He wasn't there. But he had to be around; if there was anything she knew for certain was that Josh loved food. She thought about calling for him, but what did she say to the man after sleeping on his bed and nothing happening? When she knew damned good and well he wanted it to?
She’d never slept over at a man’s house before. No, her sexual encounters had always happened wherever she was living. It had been safer that way for her.
Sexual encounters and Josh felt strange in her mind. She wouldn’t think about it now.
Instead, she folded the blanket and draped it over the back of the couch—the futon-from-hell. It was seriously uncomfortable. She didn’t understand how he’d slept on it every night.
“Are you hungry?” he asked from the doorway. He still didn't have a shirt on. Damn him. How was she supposed to ignore all of that now that she knew how it felt? He was in the jeans he'd slept in, as well. But at some point he had taken a shower. His hair was wet and curled like it had the last time she’d seen him fresh from the shower. “I've made pancakes and sausage, and there's juice.”
“Uhh, I should probably be getting home soon.” Where were her shoes, why had she not thought to look for her shoes? At least she still had her clothes on. They had just slept together—it was not like they had had sex. So why was she having so much trouble meeting his eyes?
He'd set the table for two. It was just an old card table, with a folding chair and a bar stool that had most likely come with the house. But it seemed so freaking intimate. Almost—romantic. Crap. She so didn’t know what to do now. “You know how Ally is, she’ll be worried. I'm surprised my father hasn't shown up at the door with his gun. He walks this way almost every morning, you know?”
“Dan knows I would never let anything happen to you. At least stay long enough to eat something.”
Of course, he was right. If there was one man on earth her father would not have a problem with her spending the night with it was the one beside her. Not that it mattered. She was a twenty-eight-year-old woman and had long been on her own. She had even slept with men before. Of course every time she'd slept with a man she actually slept with him. And every connotation of that.
So why did it bother her so much that she hadn’t slept with Josh?
It was the strangest breakfast of her life. She wondered if he felt the same. He acted like nothing had happened; maybe to him nothing had happened. Maybe… Maybe she wasn't the first woman who'd slept over at his house with nothing sexual happening? Maybe he did this all the time?
Josh was always so closemouthed about his personal relationships with women. In the eighteen months that she has known him, she had never once heard of him going on a date. Why had she not ever noticed that before? Why did it matter so much to her now?
She darted a quick glance at him. He was tall, lean, and unbelievably smart. More, he was kind, thoughtful, considerate and trustworthy. Not to mention the whole poetic intellectual confidence thing going on. She'd never been into that kind before. So why was she fighting the urge to actually touch him? To run her hand over the perfect muscle of his arms?
When she was finished eating, she insisted on going home. To her safe-zone. Where she could think.
He couldn’t stop her, of course. But he did wrangle a promise that she would come back later. For what, she didn’t really want to think about—yet.
Ally was making breakfast when Kelly walked in. She'd been hoping to avoid anyone else, but since the entryway to her apartment was being rewired to put in another porch light she had to go through the front of the house to reach her place. It had never been a problem before. Ally looked up from the, of course, pancake batter she was stirring. “Well, look who's doing the walk of shame this morning.”
The heat hit her cheeks. “Dear God. Shut up. It's not like that. You know it’s not. We watched a movie, ate Chinese, and then we fell asleep. That's all it was. Nothing happened.”
Ally gave her a look. The one that made Kelly squirm every time, even though All
y was her best friend and they’d certainly spoken of intimate subjects before. Why did her father and Ally always make Kelly fill like a kid misbehaving? “Hmm, I went to a man's house one night and fell asleep on his couch. Ended up getting pregnant. Just a friendly reminder, stay safe on the couch next time you fall asleep at his place.”
“Nothing happened. Eww. I really don’t want to think about you and my father right now.”
“Keep telling yourself that. Sit. I've made plenty. I'm sure you worked up an appetite. And I believe you, why wouldn't I? You’re a beautiful young woman cuddled up next to a seriously hot young guy. I've seen him without a shirt. All sweaty and perfect. I'm married, not blind. Nor am I stupid. He wants it, bad.”
She squirmed. Yeah, Josh was perfect, all muscled and lean. And hers if she decided to think that way…
Ally looked right at her. “Tell me one thing… Were you in the same place when you woke up and were you dressed—in at least half your clothing?”
“Yes! I was dressed. Fully. Only thing missing was my shoes. Like I said, we just fell asleep after watching a movie. Nothing happened.”
Ally's teasing face turned serious. “Did you want to? I know you two are close, does it really bother you?”
Kelly thought for a moment. “He matters to me, Ally…so much. I don't want to mess that up. And you know my history with guys. I don't want to lose him. I don’t even want to think about that. I’ve never been closer to a guy—especially as an adult—I mean, without sleeping with him.”
“I do know you. And I do know your history. And I know that you're funny and wonderful and kind and loving, and you deserve someone just the same. Don't toss the idea out yet. Besides, he may have something else in mind. In my experience, guys don't just let anyone fall asleep on their couch. At least not without some ulterior motive of some sort. Tell me something, Kel, if you slept on the couch where did he sleep?”
Ghosting (PAVAD: FBI Romantic Suspense Book 10) Page 8
