by Kate James
She heaved a huge sigh. Of relief?
She was torn between Cal and pursuing the job opportunity with Care Across Continents. A headache was starting to pound behind her temples.
In the end, she knew she’d have to go with her heart. The opportunities for a lifelong love were too few and far between. She’d stay in San Diego to be with Cal—and then figure out the rest.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
RAYMOND GOULDING, THE executive director for Care Across Continents, called Jessica a week later. He said he was very impressed with her credentials, and he wanted to see her for an interview. It was more of a formality, he stated. Just to be sure she had all the information she needed to make an informed decision.
It was on the tip of her tongue to thank him but decline gracefully. Then she thought about her reason for doing that. The reason was Cal. But Cal had changed. He’d been cold and distant for a week or more. Her attempts to contact him had been unsuccessful or politely rebuffed.
Hurting from what she saw as his rejection, she decided to go ahead with the interview. At least she wouldn’t be closing the door prematurely. She’d know what her options were with Care Across Continents, and she’d have to confront Cal, understand what the possibilities were for them.
The following Monday, with still no word from Cal, Jessica met with Raymond Goulding. He was middle-aged, brilliant and obviously very committed to the work of the organization. She and Raymond hit it off and she knew she’d be comfortable working for him. He gave her every indication that the position was hers if she was interested, and if her references checked out. The mention of references brought Jake to mind, but there was nothing negative on her file, since all her actions and decisions had been found to be appropriate.
If she accepted the job, she wouldn’t have many dealings with Raymond. He was based in San Diego and responsible for administration and fundraising. Rather, she’d be reporting to the country’s chief doctor, wherever she was assigned, and working with the care team there. It was good to know that the organization was well-run and if she had any questions or problems she could always contact Raymond.
She was almost certain that they’d offer her the position; Raymond had as good as said so. And she wasn’t just running away from her problems; the organization and their work interested and invigorated her. She’d wanted to join their team.
She realized she’d just thought of it in the past tense. And now? Was she still enthusiastic? And if not, why? The indecisiveness she’d struggled with seemed to be invading other areas of her life.
But the answer was simple. Calen Palmer. Whether she liked it or not, she’d been falling in love with Cal. He’d become her priority. But did he want her? And if she abandoned her plans to work with Care Across Continents, what would she do here? How would she deal with her continued tendency to care too deeply about her patients? Trauma might have reduced the frequency of these occurrences, but didn’t completely solve the problem.
And on the subject of Cal, she couldn’t ignore the change in their relationship. Why couldn’t he be consistent?
She’d barely seen him in the past couple of weeks. Yet, for the first time in years, she’d been thinking about the possibility of a long-term relationship. She’d grown not just to love him but also to respect him. He always seemed to be on her mind, and when she wasn’t with him, she longed to be.
She’d tried to figure out what had prompted the change in him. The only thing she could come up with was the fact that Cal had gone back to work. Nothing else had changed. Maybe it hadn’t happened right away, but that was all she could think of.
A chill ran down her spine. Was it possible that she’d been no more than a convenience for Cal? Someone to help out with Scout and alleviate some of his boredom while he was off work? And now that he was back at work, he no longer needed her?
No. That couldn’t be it. Cal wasn’t like that. He was a warm, caring, honest person. He wouldn’t treat her in such an insensitive manner. But then what was it? Nothing else came to mind. The hurt was immediate and intense.
The right and necessary thing for her to do was accept the job that Care Across Continents was going to offer her.
She got up from her desk, went to the ward’s kitchenette to pour herself a cup of coffee and returned to her office. Her resolve to take the job had solidified. There was no point in trying to discuss it with Cal. He was hardly speaking to her now, anyway.
* * *
CAL WAS EARLY. Very early, and he knew it. He couldn’t help it. He was too excited and anxious to see his daughter after nearly a year.
He hadn’t wanted to be late, but he hadn’t counted on being over half an hour early, either. He got up to pace the small, confined courtyard behind Cedar City’s municipal offices. He tossed the Kong for Scout a few more times. The dog just gave him a frustrated look. Running the short distance from one end of the yard to the other didn’t give him much to do.
He could see the nervous energy building in the dog. It shouldn’t have surprised him, with the limited exercise Scout had been getting.
Great! All he needed was for Scout not to be on his best behavior with Haley, and the whole opportunity could backfire.
If Haley was scared of Scout, his chance would be shot. He called the dog, and recognized that his tone was uncharacteristically harsh. It wasn’t Scout’s fault; he hadn’t done anything wrong. It was his own nerves and Scout was picking up on it. “Sorry, pal.” He offered Scout a dog biscuit.
This meeting was so important to him, and it had to go well. He felt guilty as he suddenly remembered that he hadn’t thanked Jessica for making it possible.
His leg was starting to ache, so he sat back down on the bench and checked his watch for the hundredth time. He shot up when he heard the door from the building open.
Standing there, holding the hand of a full-figured woman, was his own beautiful Haley.
His little girl was right there in front of him and so beautiful. He just wanted to rush over and hold her, but he knew he couldn’t.
Instead, he walked slowly toward the pair and introduced himself to Melody Ashworth, then focused all his attention on his daughter.
She’d grown! By his estimation, she had to be another two or three inches taller. Her blonde hair was longer, too, but still curling wildly as it always had. And her eyes—those striking china-blue eyes—were round as saucers and staring at him.
Taking a few slow steps forward, ignoring the throbbing in his thigh, he crouched down to be at eye level with her. “Hi, Haley, sweetheart.” Her mouth formed a pout and her lower lip trembled. He could see her small hand clench the woman’s.
He knew her well enough that he could tell she was about to burst into tears; he couldn’t let that happen. If it did...this would all be a wasted effort.
He sent Scout a couple of quick hand signals. Scout edged over to him, dropped down, straight as a bullet, front paws extended, and placed his head on the grass between his paws.
It was one of Scout’s most engaging, least threatening poses, and Haley’s gaze was immediately drawn to the dog. Her lips relaxed as did her grip on the woman’s hand.
“Haley, I’d like you to meet Scout. Scout is a police dog. Scout, say hello to Haley.”
Scout lifted his head just enough to emit a happy bark.
Haley giggled, and Cal’s heart swelled at the sound he’d longed to hear for far too long.
Cal sent Scout another hand signal and the dog covered his snout with his paws. “Scout’s shy, Haley,” Cal explained. “He needs you to make friends with him. Are you okay with that?”
Haley glanced up at Melody. The woman nodded encouragingly, and released Haley’s hand. The little girl stepped closer.
“Why don’t you say hi to Scout?”
She gave Cal a timid look, and smiled at t
he dog. “Hi, Scout.”
The dog shifted his paws to the ground.
“See? He’s not so shy anymore. Would you like him to sit up and shake your hand?”
“Uh-huh.” She nodded, blonde curls bouncing around her face.
“Then ask him to sit and shake a paw.”
She did, and although she took a hurried step back when Scout abruptly rose, she accepted the paw he extended, then broke into peals of laughter.
Cal was elated. He looked up at Melody with a smile, and was gratified to see that she was smiling, too. She nodded again and wordlessly backed away to sit at a patio set positioned under a large tree.
Haley was charmed by Scout; Cal needn’t have worried. Scout was at his most endearing. For the first time since Cal and Anna had separated, Haley exhibited an openness and a lack of unease with him. When their hour was up, Haley gave Scout a big hug, and felt comfortable enough to embrace Cal, too.
Holding his daughter loosely in his arms, Cal felt his eyes burn. He squeezed them shut and delighted in the feel of holding Haley, the fragrance of a soft floral shampoo in his nostrils.
After Melody had escorted Haley out of the courtyard, Cal collapsed on the bench, leaned back with his eyes closed and blew out a breath. Scout nudged his hand, then rested his head in Cal’s lap.
They sat that way for several minutes, with Cal embracing the sensation of seeing his daughter again.
“Mr. Palmer?”
Cal nearly jumped out of his skin. He sat up hastily and saw Melody Ashworth standing before him. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt a pang of apprehension “Yes?”
“Could I talk to you for a moment?”
He stood up. “Of course.” The pang intensified. “Is something wrong?”
She smiled gently, dispelling much of his unease. “No. On the contrary. Why don’t we sit down?”
She led him to the patio set. “I watched you and your daughter carefully this afternoon,” she began.
His anxiety was back. Then he reminded himself that she’d said there wasn’t anything wrong. He held his breath and waited for her to continue.
“I thought you might like to know before you leave here today that, based on my assessment and best judgment, I’m going to recommend regular visitations. There’s no question in my mind that you love your daughter. I saw absolutely no indication that you’re a threat to her in any way. I’m going to suggest a couple more supervised visits. If nothing changes, you’ll have my recommendation for regular unsupervised visitation rights.”
Cal was speechless. To have his visit with Haley go better than he’d imagined, and now have this caseworker say what she just had—it exceeded his wildest dreams. “But my ex-wife...”
“Leave her to me. I’ll talk to her. We’ll see how it goes.”
Cal rose and extended a hand to Melody. She stood, too, and they shook.
“I don’t know how to thank you,” he said as he and Scout walked through the back gate. He was surprised he’d been able to get the words out, he felt so overcome by emotion. He took a few moments to gather himself before pulling out of the parking lot.
The drive along I-15 S back to San Diego went quickly and he drove as far as the California border before stopping for a few hours’ sleep in a motel. He was up early the next morning to finish the trip, arriving at his house shortly before eight. He felt energized despite the seven-hour, five-hundred-mile drive.
He was due at the division by 9:00 a.m., and he had just enough time for a shower, change of clothes and a quick breakfast before he and Scout were on their way again.
“You’re looking good this morning,” Logan commented when Cal walked into the unit room.
“I’m feeling good, Jagger,” Cal responded.
“I’m tempted to take you off modified duties.”
Cal felt the spring in his step and grinned at Logan. “I’d love it. Convince the human resources department, will you?”
“Phone for you, Tracker,” a female officer called out to Cal. “You are looking good today,” she said with a sassy grin as she handed him the phone.
“Thanks, Shannon,” he said to the officer, then he spoke into the phone. “Palmer here.”
“This is Melody Ashworth,” the voice on the line announced.
He hesitated and felt his blood run cold. “Ms. Ashworth. How are you?”
“I’m fine, thank you.”
“Why are you calling the division?” he wondered.
She chuckled. “Because I’ve been trying your cell but it keeps going to voice mail.”
Cal yanked his phone out of its holster. The battery was dead. Of course it was. He’d been so preoccupied with seeing Haley that he hadn’t bothered to charge his phone on the way to Utah or back again. “Sorry,” he murmured.
“Don’t worry about it. I have news for you.”
Cal’s heart was racing again. It was too soon for her to call with good news about his visitations, wasn’t it? “Yes?” He couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“As we discussed, I’ve arranged two more supervised visits with Haley. If all goes as I expect, you’ll have unsupervised visitation rights after that.”
Cal’s legs gave out and he sank into the chair by the desk. He thanked Melody profusely before hanging up.
“You okay, Cal?” Shannon asked.
“Okay? Are you kidding! I’m better than okay.” He whooped loudly. With all eyes on him, he grabbed Shannon’s hand, and with his other arm around her waist, he did as graceful a jig as he could manage with his healing leg.
The day flew by, and before he knew it he was letting himself and Scout into his house. Not that he wanted to look a gift horse in the mouth, so to speak, but he continued to mull over what had led to his good fortune. The only thing that made sense was that Anna—having accomplished what she’d set out to do and acknowledging that Cal’s current job didn’t pose a threat to Haley—had relented.
Whatever the reason, Cal was overjoyed. He didn’t mind making the seven-hour drive to and from Cedar City on a regular basis, if it meant spending time with Haley.
The developments of the day were certainly cause for celebration. He didn’t feel like being alone. He immediately thought of Jessica—but pushed that thought aside. He still hadn’t gotten over Jessica’s not telling him about her plans to leave the country. It was all too similar to what Anna had done. Not confiding, holding back salient facts that affected both of them profoundly. Although Anna had gone on to do a lot worse.
Cal popped the cap on a cold beer and called his brother, inviting him over for dinner. And why not Jessica? Whatever was—or wasn’t—between them, she’d made his reconciliation with Haley possible. He still harbored resentment toward her, but she was the person responsible for today’s news.
He should invite her over and thank her.
With Andrew there, it was a safe bet that they wouldn’t get into anything personal. He could thank her, and keep it all nice and light.
Yeah. That made sense.
He scooped kibble into Scout’s dish, and called her. Jessica sounded reserved but agreed to dinner.
Drew got there first, and was overjoyed to learn the news. He gave Cal a bear hug, and thumped him on the back several times, eliciting a deep-throated growl from Scout.
“Sorry...” He held his hands out and backed away. “I wasn’t hurting him,” he tried to assure the dog. Scout’s eyes remained intent on Drew. “Tell him, will you please?” he appealed to his brother. “Tell him we’re good before he gnaws my arm off.”
Cal took a sip of his beer and chuckled. “Scout, settle,” he ordered.
Drew wiped at his brow.
“You weren’t seriously worried, were you?”
Drew cast a cautious glance at Scout. “Nah. Not really...but
he does have very large teeth.”
Cal laughed as the doorbell rang.
He moved to answer it, but Drew protested quickly. “You’ve got a bad leg. I’ll get it.”
Cal chuckled again. “You just don’t want to be alone with Scout.”
“Yeah, well. That, too.”
Cal leaned a shoulder against the kitchen doorframe and took another sip from the bottle as he watched Drew open the front door.
He expected to feel anger—or disappointment—when he saw Jessica. Instead, he felt...he felt that tight knot form in his gut.
She was wearing a girlie, flowing dress with flowers on a yellow background, made from some clingy material that accentuated her curves. She had on a pair of strappy sandals with thin high heels; they left her shapely feet next to bare. Her toenails were painted a bright red that for some reason he found very sexy. The colors of the dress set off the light tan of her skin and contrasted with her blonde hair—which she’d left loose, the way he liked it best.
Since most of the time they’d spent together had been either at the hospital or with Scout, he hadn’t seen her in a dress and with her hair down at the same time. She was quite a vision.
He continued to watch as Drew made a spectacle of introducing himself. When Jessica noticed him and their eyes met, she angled her head slightly. Questioningly.
Keeping his expression inscrutable, he nodded to her before going back to the kitchen to check on their dinner.
Cal made sure the conversation between him and Jessica remained light and casual. He made sure they were never alone.
The evening was a pleasant one and it allowed him to express his gratitude to Jessica, but Drew’s presence kept everything friendly and impersonal. If the angry green jaws of jealously weren’t nipping at him, he might’ve been amused by Drew’s obvious attempts to flirt with Jessica.
Shortly after dinner, Jessica rose, explaining she had an early start at the hospital the next morning. She thanked Cal for dinner, shook hands with Andrew and assured them both that she didn’t need to be walked out to her car.
