The tension in her body eased. Jillian leaned back against him and Devon wrapped his arm around her chest, cupping her breast. A sigh escaped her mouth. “This is dangerous,” she whispered. “We all know that. Before we begin anything, we all have to come to the realization that after tonight, it ends. I walk from this room and it’ll be like I never came to Strapped.”
Pain sliced into his heart. Devon looked up to Jax. It wasn’t what either of them wanted, but there was still hours left to try to convince her not to shut them out. If she was still determined to have nothing to do with them when she left, then there wasn’t much they could do about it. Was there? “If that’s your terms.”
“It’s the way it has to be.”
Neither, he nor Jax said a word. Devon let go and moved around to face her. “Go stand in front of the cross.” Damn he didn’t want to let go of her. At least not yet, but in time the embraces could come. She wasn’t ready for that yet.
The large room was a sexual playground. Against the black walls hung a riding crop, a few different floggers of various sizes, paddles, and other various items he’d collected over the years. Jax strapped her in and he watched their eyes connect for the briefest moments. Jillian turned her face to look away, but his partner’s fingers grasped her chin and made her look back. “We’ve missed you, Jilly. You’ve had to have known that.” He stepped back and took in her body. It was clear his attention went to the tattoo she’d tried to hide.
Devon grabbed the crop and walked over. He was just as curious to see what it said. As he approached, Jax’s fingers traced down her throat and very lightly made a path in between her breasts. Beautiful dark cursive began to the right, just below her breast. Devon scanned over the lettering.
From the numbness
I shall feel
From the pain
I shall heal
His eyes lifted to look at her. Even now, she was faced away with her eyes closed. Where was Jilly at inside her mind? What was she thinking? Devon glanced back at the tattoo. Whether it was the hurt she kept locked inside her, or actual pain, he wasn’t sure. Maybe both? Damn, it broke his heart to see those words on her.
Jax stepped to the side, giving him room. The path of his fingers got lower and came to caress against her hip. “Open your eyes and look at me, Jillian.” With his other hand, Jax’s palm molded to her cheek. Jillian’s lids fluttered open. “Good girl. Now slow your breathing and focus on me. I need you to pay attention.” His finger traced over her lips. “Have you ever done this before?”
She quickly shook her head.
“This is the only time I’m going to tell you,” Jax said, lowly. “When Devon or I asked you a question, you must always refer to us as, Sir. Now answer me. Have you ever done this before?”
“No, Sir.”
“Good.” He pushed his thumb into her mouth and removed it, outlining her lips, again. “For the remainder of the night, you now belong to me and Devon. You’re ours to do whatever we please. If at any point it becomes too much, all you have to do is call the safeword and we’ll stop. Answer me if you understand this.”
“I understand, Sir.”
Jax nodded. “Your safeword is strapped. That should be easy enough for you to remember.”
Slowly, Devon raised the flat end of the crop and began to move it up her thigh. A deep intake of breath filled the room as he connected it against her skin with just enough force to make it sting. In a soft, rhythmic motion, he tapped it against her inner thigh. The closer he moved up, the more flushed her face became. Jax leaned in and ran his tongue across her lips. At the moan that poured from her throat, Devon knew they had her. She was loving it, and he was going to try his damnedest to make sure there wasn’t a moment she was lacking in receiving every bit the delicious punishment she deserved.
Chapter 3
Wetness greeted Jax’s fingers as he slid two down the length of Jillian’s slit. The small jerk as he brushed across her clit had her trying to move against him. A slap to her lower stomach had Jilly biting her lip. Devon continued to lightly tap against her body, but Jax focused on one thing. The pleasure that came with the pain.
The tightness that embraced his finger as Jax eased into her was almost shocking. His eyes connected with hers. “It’s been a while since you’ve been fucked. How long?”
Jillian glanced at Devon. The intensity that his friend stared into her face was almost too strong for Jax to be able to handle.
“Too long, Sir.”
If there was one thing he knew, it was to steer clear of this conversation. Things would quickly go downhill if he threw in too many questions, too fast. To get her mind off of what was clearly something that made her uncomfortable, he slid another finger inside of her. His lips connected with hers, and he pushed in deep. Sounds filled his mouth and he claimed them while he thrust inside of her.
Heat poured from his skin. Aching took over his cock at the mere possibility that he was eventually going to be able to go even further with the woman he’d been in love with for as long as he could remember. Never once, had he let this idea tease his mind. She’d been Devon’s girl, plain and simple. But the truth had still not stopped her from possessing his heart and soul. They’d known each other all of their lives. Even before she’d met Devon. Hell, Jax couldn’t remember a time when he hadn’t had overwhelming feelings for her. And now here she was. Kissing him with all of the hunger he’d only experienced in his haunting dreams.
He pulled back and looked into the depths of her eyes. It was very possible that come morning, Jillian would be gone once again. How long would she disappear this time? Would she ever come back? And if she did, would it be to Strapped? She searched his face, just as he was doing to hers.
Jax withdrew his fingers and began messaging the wetness into her folds. The rise and fall of her breasts increased in speed and he knew she was close to an orgasm. “You’re not going to cum yet. Not until I’m ready to give you that gift.”
He rubbed over her opening and felt his fingertips slide in, just the smallest amount. The crop connected against the top of her breast and Jillian moved her face toward him as if she wanted to kiss him more. Jax shook his head and stepped back. At the loss of contact, a pout came to her lips. Devon handed over the crop and took his place. Damn, he couldn’t wait to see how this played out. Once, so many years ago, he’d caught a glimpse of the two together by accident. Devon had even been every bit of the dom, then, as he was now. It was in his blood. Who he was. And ultimately, the scene between his friends had left such an impression that Jax knew the darkness inside of him was one in the same.
****
Devon had Jillian’s hair in his fist before she could hide her pout. “That bottom lip has gotten you in trouble before, if I recall.” He angled her face, exposing her neck. “What happens to bad girls when they pout their lip, doll? I know you remember.”
“We get spankings, Sir.”
“That’s right.” He gently sucked on her neck and traced his tongue to her ear. A shiver shook her body when his teeth pulled at her ear lobe. “You used to enjoy being bent over my knee. Time to see if you still do. I’m about to tear that ass up, Jilly. I hope you’re ready.”
The buckle to the restraint unfastened under his fingers. Devon didn’t even have to look at it. He could undo the straps blindly if he had to. The pressure he applied to her wrist as it became free brought her stare to his. Devon molded his nude body into hers. “You feel how hard my cock is for you?” He pushed it against her stomach. “Before the night is over with, I’m going to be pounding that pussy harder than you can imagine. You owe me, doll. And you can bet that sweet little ass that I’m about to spank, I’ll be stripping you of everything you can give. You are not allowed for a second to hold back. That’s an order.”
“Yes, Sir.”
Devon let go of her hand and finished unbuckling the restraints. The moment she was free, he tossed her over his shoulder. “You’re going to suck Jax’s cock in between y
our punishment. If that’s not the best blow job I’ve ever seen, your spankings will only get harder. I want you swallowing that dick, Jillian.” He sat on the edge of the bed and flipped her around to lay over his thighs.
The first spanking had her head jerking up. Devon rubbed his hand against the already reddening skin. “Damn, I missed this ass.” He was so entranced with his handprint marking her, his, he hardly noticed that Jax had walked forward. Jillian reached up and wrapped her hand around the base of his cock. The tip of her tongue swept over the head, collecting the beaded pre-cum. The sight only got him harder. His partner joining them was his best idea by far. It felt right. Natural, to have Jax be a part of their little reunion.
“Fuck yeah.” His best friend’s fingers wrapped in Jillian’s hair, guiding his cock deeper into her mouth. The suction she applied as the length slid from her lips had her cheeks hollowing. Jax stepped back and Devon’s hand connected again. A cry came from her mouth and she jumped. He knew he was spanking her harder than what he’d done in the past. But things were different now. With all of them.
Wetness coated his fingers as he slid them inside of her. She went back to taking Jax’s thick cock into her mouth while he slowly thrust his fingers inside of her. Jesus. Devon closed his eyes trying to get a grip on the emotional blast that hit him square in the chest. This night was going to be a double edged sword for him. If they couldn’t get her to somehow be a part of their life after this night, it was going to crush him. Yet, there was no way he could stop now. The realization was enough to force his eyes back open. If he couldn’t keep her, he’d do what he did best. Take in every action. Store it deep in his mind. And let the memories tear him to pieces when the time came.
Devon looked up at Jax and his partner pulled back while he spanked the other side. Both of his hands gripped the flesh of her ass, spreading her wide. Fucking masochistic part could be on the back burner for now. If there was one thing that ruled over everything, it was the sadistic side. A dark smile came to his face at the all too familiar feeling of home. He thrust his fingers back into her pussy and began going at a fast paced. Before he knew it, he was pounding them inside of her. Screams poured from her mouth and he could feel her tightening around him. “You took the spankings good. I’ll let you cum, now. But first tell Sir, thank you.”
“Thank you, Sir.” His title came out as more of a moan. Jillian’s head fell and her nails sunk into Devon’s calves. How could he have forgotten about her penchant for clawing into his skin? The pain had his eyes closing in bliss. Fuck yeah. This was his Jilly, all right. Continuous sounds filled the room. Everything from whimpers to screams. Devon pushed up his fingers toward the front of her stomach and she instantly broke out into spasms. Jax leaned over and grabbed her hair, pulling her mouth to his.
Warmth ran down his leg, and he knew Jillian had broken the skin. As her body relaxed and she wrapped her arms around Jax’s neck, he watched his friend clasp her wrists and pull back. “No, Jilly.” His eyes came up to Devon. Affection to that scale was something they couldn’t risk. Not if she wasn’t coming back. Kissing was bad enough. They’d already broken their rules by going as far as that. The intimate act was one thing they didn’t delve in.
“On your knees,” Jax ordered. “You’re going to take turns sucking me and Devon’s cock.”
“Yes, Sir.” Jillian’s legs were shaky as she stood. It almost put a smile on his face. Devon stood and watched as she rose higher on her knees. At the first brush of her tongue over the head of his dick, he had to clench his jaw. The pleasure only intensified as the time jumped into hyper speed. Back and forth, Jillian took their cocks deep into her mouth. The moment Jax gave the order for her to look into their eyes as she went back and forth, it quickly became beautiful torture. The memory of her stare as she took him deep was like a brand to his brain. It was almost as if time had slowed for the briefest moment the first time she’d done it. The times following hadn’t gotten any easier, either. But he loved it. Couldn’t get enough. And it was time to make it up to her.
****
“Get on the bed.”
Jillian looked up as Devon spoke. She knew not to hold his gaze for long. The bed came into focus as she stared in the direction of the huge king size. This was it. If she got on that bed, she knew there was no turning back. Sure, she could say the safeword, but she knew she wouldn’t want to. That was the hardest part. The comfort in her core, her heart, as these two men brought her over the brink of her wildest dreams was bad news. A stranger should have been what she had settled for. The bartender, maybe. But the two men she’d loved for as long as she could remember…she could already feel herself being taken over by them.
“If I have to tell you again.”
Jillian stood and glanced toward the bed. Panic settled in her chest causing her heart to flutter, wildly. Devon’s eyes narrowed and she watched his head tilt. He was trying to read her mind, and if she knew anything about him, it was his amazing ability to be on the same level as her thinking.
The pile of her clothes sat on the dresser across the room. She looked at them, wondering if she should head in that direction.
“Oh no you don’t.” Devon locked his arm around her waist and carried her to the bed. The silk comforter was cool against her skin as he tossed her down and pinned her arms over her head with one hand. “You’re done running, god dammit. Do you hear me?” With his other hand, he cupped the side of her face. “I want to hear you say it, Jillian. Tell me right now that you’re not going to disappear again.”
The parting of her mouth didn’t provide answers as immediately as she knew he wanted. She looked at Jax, but turned to face the man she’d destroyed so long ago. “My job is here in San Francisco, now. At least for the next three years. I can’t run very far.”
What looked to be relief flashed across his face, but it didn’t last long. “And what about this. Us? You say after this night, we basically pretend this never happened. Is that what you truly want?”
The moment she went to speak, his hand tightened on her wrist.
“You, Jilly. Not your parents. What do you want?”
Wasn’t that the million dollar question? What did she want? Work had become the most important thing in her life since she’d left. To say she buried herself in her career wasn’t a lie. But what did she want besides that? What happened once her three years were up and she had to go somewhere else? How long was she planning on carrying on with this? It was too much, too fast. She’d come here for pleasure, and she’d gotten it all right. But the pain that was reopened in her chest was starting to outweigh it. “I want…” Frustration from not having an answer had her eyes filling with tears. It was enough to make anger cause her hands to push against the restraint of his. “I want you to stop quizzing me and just fuck me. Touch me. God! Just stop talking and—sobs wracked her body and she quickly turned her head to the side. With every breath she took, they got harder.
“Shh.” Devon let go and pulled her into his chest. The bed shifted and she knew Jax had joined them.
As he pulled down the comforter and placed her underneath, he and Jax held her while she cried. No matter how hard she tried to stop, the tears wouldn’t dry up. The smell of Devon’s cologne and the feel of Jax’s nude body hugging onto her from behind took its toll. And it only made things worse. How long had it been since she’d had contact with someone that made her feel safe? Complete? Anything, for that matter? Never. Before Jillian knew it, her eyes were impossible to keep open. Devon’s fingers through her hair was the last thing she remembered as the heaviness settled throughout her body and unconsciousness took over.
Chapter 4
Devon stirred and reached out, blindly. His arm connected with an empty bed. It took a moment for the memories of the previous night to come back to him, but upon remembrance, he sat straight up in bed. His eyes locked on Jax, standing at the window. The sadness on his face was heartbreaking.
“She left?” The question was hard coming
from Devon’s mouth.
His best friend looked over his shoulder. “I woke up about half an hour ago. Jilly was already gone. I never heard a sound. It’s kind of shocking to me. Usually, I’m a light sleeper.”
A sickening feeling came to Devon’s stomach, but he tried ignoring it. “Well, we did stay up until almost four, talking. I can’t believe we didn’t wake her up when we were laughing over old times. She must have been exhausted. I’ve only seen her cry once, and that was the day she left.” He shook his head. “With how hard she was crying last night, though… hell, Jax. I still can’t believe what happened. The way it went down. It’s so surreal.”
That she even ended up here of all places is what gets me,” he said, walking over to the bed. “Devon, we have to go after her. We can’t let her push us away, anymore. Whether Jilly wants to admit it or not, she needs us. That was pretty evident when she broke down. And the tattoo. Fuck. I wish I knew what happened to her in the last thirteen fucking years. Was the pain she harbors from you…or someone else? Who is Jillian now?”
Devon shrugged and climbed from the bed. “I think it’s time we found out. Go take a shower and meet me in downstairs in a half an hour.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. “Jax left his room, shutting the door quietly behind him. As Devon headed for his restroom, something shiny caught the eye. He walked toward where Jillian had her clothes. There, on the dresser, was a silver locket. He picked it up, curiously. It had to be hers. He’d never seen it before, and no one else had been in his room for months.
A tiny clasp caught against his finger as he traced the edge. Devon opened it and peered at the two small pictures inside. One was of the two of them. The other was of him, Jax, and her, sitting at the beach. They’d used to always go there when they had a chance. He paused and looked toward the window. Slowly, he brought his attention back to the locket. There was no way she would have forgotten about it. Jillian was obviously trying to give him a sign. She had disregarded it. Left it behind, like she obviously wanted to do with the memory of last night. Numbness began to take over the pain.
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