We walk to my truck and I ask her about the giggling girls. She laughs, like I’ve never heard her laugh.
“You have no idea, do you?”
“About what?”
“Oh, my God, Kade! They are all crushing on you.”
I’m pretty damn sure I have one stupid ass look on my face, because she nearly doubles over now, still laughing.
“Oh, this is way past funny.”
“You have to stop right now. Why in the hell would they have a crush on me?”
As I watch her, her animated grin changes into an open-mouthed gape as she blinks in surprise. “Are you for real? I mean, do I have to spell it out for you?”
“Well, yes! I’m an old man, according to their standards. Why the hell would they be crushing on me?”
Her hand flies to her mouth, covering it as she sputters out another huge bursting laugh. Suddenly, I get the urge to grab her hand and pull it away from her mouth, because I don’t want to stop looking at it. Her lips, the way they move, and the way her smile brightens up her face makes me want to crush my own mouth on hers so I can taste her, explore her, learn her. Without a doubt, I must be staring at her like some star struck teenager, so I close my eyes and give my head a firm shake. What the hell am I doing here? First her ass, and now her mouth? Jesus, am I really lusting after a nun? What the fuck!
When she finally stops laughing, she says, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re a dolt. Basically clueless. They think you’re hot, Kade. Look in the mirror, and you’ll have your answer.”
I keep my trap shut so I don’t say anything else stupid, while we drive to the little diner I love so much for lunch. When we get there, I wear a sheepish expression. “Am I really that stupid?”
“Uh, more like in the dark about little girls, I think.”
“I was wondering. Every time I see them, they all just giggle. I thought maybe all girls did that.”
“No, and maybe after a while it will stop, but with you, most likely not.”
I huff out a breath. “Well, at least now I know.” As I look at her, I smile. “So tell me, how’s it going for you?”
“Good. I’m picking it up. I’m still not sure about the singing part though.”
“Are you doing this for yourself or for Sister Helena?”
She hesitates.
“Emmalia, whatever you tell me, stays between us.”
“I love to sing, but I only want to sing to the music I love, you know? I don’t really care about being in the choir.”
“Then why all this?”
“Sister Helena. She has this way of making one feel very inadequate.”
“Yeah, I can tell. She’s definitely not what you’d call warm.”
Emmalia shakes her head. “Not at all, unless you’d consider Hitler warm.”
We laugh over that.
Then I get serious. “Don’t let anyone ever make you feel inadequate. You’re not. You can sing just fine. I won’t go so far to say you’re American Idol quality,” I wink, “but for what you want to do, you’re much better than average.”
“Thank you, Kade, and especially for taking time out of your busy schedule to do all of this.”
We order our food and talk about various things. I’ve noticed something about her, though. She’s extremely reticent about discussing anything about her past, even the little things. I won’t push her, because I know how uncomfortable that makes someone feel, but it does add to her mystery and make me all the more curious about her. There is something’s she’s hiding and I hope someday she’ll open up to me.
“Lunch was delicious. Thank you so much for inviting me. This was a nice surprise.”
“I’m glad you enjoyed it. I can drop you off at the shelter if you’d like.”
“Oh, I don’t want to bother you. And besides, it’s so nice, I think I’ll enjoy the walk.”
~~~~~
Two weeks later, Emmalia is set to meet me at my place for her lesson. She’s had several music sessions on Saturdays with the girls and she is quickly picking up reading sheet music. If I can get her to play a song or two, it will show her she’s moving in the right direction.
I’m running late because one of the residents in Living Free had a setback and had to return to rehab. The weather has also turned nasty and the blizzard they predicted is hitting us hard. I hope Emmalia hasn’t been waiting long. I can barely see to drive, so it takes me longer than usual to get home.
When I finally arrive, I spy a huddled form on my front porch.
“Christ,” I yell over the howling wind from the truck as I get out. “How long have you been here?”
“About twenty minutes,” she calls back to me.
I slam the truck door shut and sprint to the house. “Shit. And you walked too, didn’t you?”
“Well, yeah.”
“Jesus, I’m sorry. I would’ve called but I knew it wouldn’t do you any good. You really need to get a cell phone. The roads are barely passable already.”
“I know. It was awful walking here.”
I unlock the door and we move into the warm foyer. She’s shivering.
“Where’s Ethel?”
“Here.” She unbuttons her coat and a furry head pops out.
“Give her to me and I’ll walk her.”
“No need. I walked her on the way so she should be good. But she’ll need her dinner soon.”
I noticed she’s shaking like a leaf.
“Let me put on a fire.” In no time, I have a good one started and she stands in front of it trying to warm up.
“Emmalia, can I get you a coffee or hot cocoa?”
“Hot cocoa would be great.”
“Have you eaten?”
“No, but I don’t want to be a bother.”
“You’re not a bother and I have to eat anyway. I was going to grill a burger, but I don’t want to in this weather. I’ll cook it inside instead. Does that sound okay to you?”
“Yeah, that sounds perfect.”
She still has her coat on, but it’s damp from the snow.
“Let me take your coat and I’ll hang it over the chair so it can dry.”
“No, I’m too cold and my sweater isn’t heavy enough.”
“I can lend you a sweatshirt.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I run up to my room and grab a hoodie for her. When she puts it on we both laugh. It looks like a dress.
“Sorry. I don’t have anything smaller. You’re a tiny thing, you know.”
“Yeah, but this is nice and cozy. Thank you. I need to call Sister Helena.”
She heads over to the phone in the kitchen and makes the call. I head there as well, in order to get dinner started. I can’t help but over hear her conversation. It seems as though Sister Helena wants Emmalia to come home immediately. It’s not safe for her to do so and Emmalia is very agitated. I gently remove the phone from her hand and speak to Sister Helena.
“Sister, this is Kade Hart. Emmalia can’t possibly come home. The streets are not drivable. I barely made it home in my truck and it would be highly dangerous for Emmalia to walk back to the convent in this blizzard. She’s safe here tonight and I can see that she gets home in the morning.”
“Mr. Hart, it is most improper that she stay the night with you.”
“What are you implying, Sister?”
She sputters before answering. “You know perfectly well what I’m implying.”
“I can assure you there is nothing to worry about. What you can worry about though, is if I send Emmalia out in this weather, there will be consequences. Should I call Father Anthony regarding this issue, because I know what he would say about this?”
“No. She stays, but is to be brought home at first light.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I am not a ma’am. I am a nun.”
“Yes, sister.”
She hangs up on me and I’m left staring at the phone. I hear Emmalia say, “I’m sorry you had to deal with her. She can b
e difficult at times.
“I’m not sure what crawled up her ass, but it wasn’t very friendly.”
Emmalia laughs and says, “She’s like that a lot. I don’t think she’s very happy, to be honest.”
“I’m incredulous that she wanted you to walk home in this weather. You could die out there.”
“I hardly think…”
“I do think. It’s dangerous. I drove home in a white out. We are in the midst of a blizzard. You’ll be lucky to get home tomorrow.”
She runs to the front window and looks outside. “Oh, dear. This is a bad one, isn’t it?”
“You haven’t listened to the news?”
“No. I never listen to the news.”
“Yeah, so they’re saying this one is the storm of the century. The airport is closed and all flights have been cancelled for tomorrow. Airlines are scrambling because of the holidays next week. It’s going to be a mess.”
She looks at me for a second before answering. “I guess I had my head in the sand.” She doesn’t elaborate.
“I don’t suppose the nuns have any holiday plans?” I haven’t a clue what made me ask that.
“Some of them will visit their families after all the masses are over. You know we have an early mass on Christmas Eve, and then the big midnight Mass celebration. On Christmas Day we have two morning services, too. When we finish with all of that, most of them will go visit their families for a few days. Sister Helena will hold down the fort, as you can imagine.” She laughs a little. “What about you?”
“I’m off to see my brothers for a short visit. We wanted to do something different this year. Last Christmas was … well, my mother was killed during dinner at my brother Kestrel’s house. It was a damn mess. There was a drive-by shooting. My two sisters-in-law were shot, too. Kestrel wasn’t married yet, but they got married in the spring. His wife is pregnant now and can’t travel because her due date is the third of January. So we’re going to his place in Charleston.”
“Good lord! That’s so awful about your mother! You’ve had so much tragedy in your family.”
I’m sure I look pretty bereft, because that’s precisely how I feel—like I’ve lost about everything meaningful in my life. And I don’t know why it hits me like this, all of a sudden.
She walks up to me and wraps her arms around me. “I’m so sorry. A blow like that is the worst kind to bear.” Her arms offer comfort, something I haven’t had in the longest time. I soak it in, not wanting her to let me go. But she does, looking at me with the saddest of expressions.
I laugh. Not a jovial one. “You know the saying about if there weren’t bad luck, you wouldn’t have any at all? That pretty much applies to my family.”
Her head drops and she knots her fingers. When she raises her gaze, I notice her eyes have taken on a bruised look and are filled with agony and ruin. Shadows flit across her features momentarily, and then they are gone, replaced by the look she usually wears. It’s a mask, I’ve now discovered. She’s hiding behind a veil and it doesn’t have a thing to do with her being a nun. There’s something else—a deep-rooted loss. She understands what I feel. It’s so potent I can almost taste the sting of her suffering.
“Tell me, Emmalia. Maybe I can help.”
Her head jerks up as our gazes lock. Then her lids squeeze shut, as though she wants to block me out. Maybe I’ve pushed her too hard. So I say, “I know you don’t want to talk about it. So if you ever do, I want you to know you can trust me. I promise I’ll do all I can to help you. And I’ll never breathe a word to anyone.”
Dark brown eyes bore into mine, assessing, judging, weighing my words, and then she gives me a slight nod. Her hesitancy tells me I’m going to have to do a lot more than tell her. I’m going to have to win her trust somehow. I don’t know how, but I’ll come up with something.
“So, how about that burger?”
“Only if you let me help.”
I agree and we team up in the kitchen to produce our dinner of hamburgers, oven fries, and salad. She helps clean up and when we’re finished, she offers to take Ethel out.
“I’ll do it. You finally got warm from walking here.”
“I wonder how much snow we have.”
“Let’s check.”
We walk to the back and look out the French doors. The back yard is lit up and the covered terrace is free of snow. I have an outside fireplace there, but right off the stone terrace, the snow is piling high.
“That snow is taller than Ethel. She won’t be able to go there,” Emmalia says.
“It’s okay. The eaves overhang the house a good bit so there should be a place for her to go under there.” I throw on a coat and put Ethel’s leash on and out the door we go. Emmalia watches us from inside. It doesn’t take Ethel long to do her business. She must not like the inclement weather.
Emmalia laughs when we get back inside. “She sure was in a hurry.”
“I’ll say so. But it was good for me that I didn’t have to stand out in that wind too long. It’s blowing like crazy out there.”
I find an old towel so we can dry Ethel off, but she’s really not very wet at all since I took her in a dry spot. When we’re done, she crawls in her crate and curls up in a tiny ball.
“She’s the cutest little fluff ball I’ve ever seen. I’m so thankful you’re doing this, Kade. I couldn’t bear it if they put her to sleep. It’s bad enough we can’t find homes for all the animals that come in, but this one is extra special to me.”
“Yeah, I have to admit, she’s grown on me. How big do you think she’ll get?”
“They say about fifteen pounds.”
“Hmm. Good size for a pocket fluff ball, huh?”
She laughs. “You should let her sleep with you when she’s house trained.”
“Oh no! Not gonna happen. She has her bed and I’ll have mine.”
“Well, if she were mine, she’d be my bed partner every night. I bet she loves to cuddle.”
“I’d rather cuddle with something else.”
I laugh at my comment, but when I glance at Emmalia, spots of crimson stain her cheeks. I didn’t think about what I said and now I’ve embarrassed the poor girl.
“Emmalia, I apologize. That was thoughtless of me. Forgive me.”
“No, it’s fine.”
“No, it’s not. That was quite tasteless of me.”
She clears her throat and asks, “So, are we going to have a singing lesson tonight?”
“Oh, right! I nearly forgot.”
After I put her through the usual steps and we practice, I tell her I see an improvement. She claps her hands in excitement.
Then she stops and eyes me suspiciously. “You’re not just saying that, are you?”
“No.”
“That’s one thing Sister Helena will be happy about. She doesn’t find much use for me, so maybe if I can sing, she will see me in a different light.”
“Why doesn’t she find much use for you?”
“I don’t have what you’d call ‘good nun skills’.”
I can’t help but laugh. “And can you describe what good nun skills are?”
“You know, teaching, singing, art, religion, those kinds of things. I can’t even cook properly, and I apparently don’t do a very good job of cleaning either.”
“It sounds like Sister Helena only wants to find the negative in you and not the positive. What about your gardening skills?”
“Oh, that. I don’t really garden. The sisters have me clear out the old garden at the end of each season. You know, dig out the old dead stuff.”
I scratch my head. “They give you the dirty work.”
She laughs. “Kade, isn’t all gardening dirty work?”
“True, but you are delegated the shit stuff.”
“But I kill everything that’s green. I’m no good at growing stuff. It’s better this way.”
“You seem pretty good in the kitchen.”
She laughs again. “That’s because we were only coo
king for two and I am a good cleaner upper. Cooking for a crowd is another story. That’s an epic fail.”
“But you can follow a recipe.”
“I’ve tried that. It really isn’t Sister Helena’s fault. I’m just a loser for the most part.”
“Emmalia, don’t say that. What about your computer skills?”
“There is that, but totally useless in the convent. We don’t even have a computer. They have them at the school and Father Anthony has one, but his secretary handles everything. However, I use my skills at the Animal Shelter. And then I volunteer at the Children’s Home and I put them to good use there. So they’re not completely wasted. But I have to be careful that I don’t let my volunteering get in the way of Sister Helena’s requirements.”
“I think I’m frustrated for you. And what’s this bit about no cell phone?”
“I don’t have the money for one.”
“Don’t you earn any money at all?”
“Yes, a little bit, but it goes back to the convent for my room and board.”
I notice how she fidgets so I press on.
“I can help if you’re short on money. At least it would give me peace of mind.”
“No! I won’t take your money. And please don’t worry. I’m fine.”
It’s so odd that she’s this resistant to a damn phone. It’s not like I’m asking her to put a tracking device on. Then an idea, bright as a light bulb, pops up in my head.
“Does Father Anthony know you walk around like this, without a phone?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. I don’t speak to him of these things.”
“I’m going to talk to him about this. In this day and age, it’s simply unsafe.”
“Fine, but Sister Helena won’t be happy. Now can we change the subject because you’re beating the proverbial dead horse?”
It’s my turn to laugh. “Right. Want to watch a movie then?”
“Sure. What did you have in mind?”
“My brothers and I are addicted to the old Star Wars Trilogy. You up for that?”
“Sounds good to me. I love Star Wars. I’m a sci-fi fan. I’ve always fancied that aliens exist anyway.”
“Seriously?”
“Why not? It’s a possibility.”
“I suppose. I guess it’s rather small minded of humans to think we are the only intelligent life out here in this vast universe. But doesn’t that go against all Bible teachings?”
The Fall and Rise of Kade Hart: A Hart Brothers Novel Page 6
