Joe chuckled and rubbed his eyes. “You can thank years of building railroads for that.”
The tension eased from Richard’s body as Amanda gave him her handkerchief. “At least now I know why you kept giving me a hard time,” Richard said. When he added all the pieces of the puzzle, it was easy to see how things had looked from Joe’s end. “I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt Amanda. I love her.”
Joe offered a solemn nod, giving one more look at her, the things he’d wanted to have with her but never would reflecting in his eyes. “I can see that,” Joe whispered and put the hat back on his head. “Well, Amanda, if I had to lose you to anyone, he’d be my first choice. I’m sorry for everything.” His gaze went back to Richard. “Really, I am. I won’t give you any more problems.”
“Thank you,” Richard replied.
Joe turned and left, his shoulders slumped and head down.
Richard went back to the stream and washed the blood off his hands and face.
Amanda waited for a minute then came over to him and knelt beside him. “I’m sorry. I should have told you about Joe. It was just…just…”
He straightened up so he could face her. “It’s alright, Amanda. I know.” He cupped the side of her face with his hand and smiled. “It’s never been easy for you to express your feelings. You’ve always struggled with how much to say, and you worry how others will respond to you. You don’t have to be afraid to tell me what’s in your heart. No matter what, I’m here for you.”
Her eyes filled with tears, and she took his hand in hers. “I don’t love Joe. I never loved him. He was there at a time when I felt like I had no one. My sister was good to me, but she was so afraid of her husband—and rightly so—that we could never get close.” She paused then added, “I had no way of getting to you. I figured you found someone else to marry. So when Joe came along, I convinced myself I cared enough about him to marry him.”
She swallowed then continued, “But when he asked, I couldn’t say yes. There was something holding me back. I told myself it was because he worked on the rails. Since then I came to realize that was just an excuse. Growing up, you were the one person I felt closest to. I knew the other people we grew up with, but I always felt like an outsider looking in. When I look back on it, you were the only friend I had, and I think, deep down, I did love you, but I was too afraid to admit it.”
He brought her into his arms. “I was always drawn to you. I can’t explain why. I just knew you’d be the only one for me.”
“It wasn’t a coincidence you found me in the alley,” she whispered. “It was fate. We were meant to be together.”
She was right. He had no doubt about it. After losing touch with her, there was no other reason to explain how they ended up together. “Well, now that you’re here, I’m not letting you go.”
“Good, because I don’t want to ever be without you again.”
He kissed her, and as he continued to hold her, each were lost in their own thoughts.
***
“Is it safe to travel with them?” Mr. Carmichael asked Joe as Richard pulled his wagon up to the group, his family close behind. “For all we know, they could all be sick since they spent the last two days with her.”
Amanda’s face warmed as Mr. Carmichael pointed in her direction. She wiggled on the seat of the wagon in an effort to hide herself from the stares of the others, who turned to look at her.
“I’ll handle this,” Richard told her as he hopped down from the wagon.
“She’s fine,” Joe told Mr. Carmichael. “I checked on them yesterday, and everyone else is fine, too. It’s just as they said. Amanda started her woman’s time of month and got weak because of the heat.”
“We’ve been on the trail for three months. Why didn’t she vomit and collapse before this?” Mr. Carmichael challenged.
“The other day was the hottest day we’ve been through,” Joe replied in a tone that left no room for argument.
Amanda breathed a sigh of relief. So Joe was willing to keep her secret.
“If you’re so worried, come and look at us,” Richard said, gesturing to his and his parents’ wagons. “You can tell we’re all doing well.”
Mr. Carmichael blanched and took a step back. He quickly dug out a bandana from his back pocket and put it over his nose and mouth. Several others followed his lead, most of them choosing to go further back to allow themselves more distance from Richard.
“I wouldn’t get near you and your family for all the money in the world.” Looking at the others who’d gathered around them, Mr. Carmichael added, “Maybe everyone else is willing to risk the health and well-being of their families, but I’m not. Joe, I’ve been telling you we need to leave them here. If you don’t, you will have the death of us all on your head.”
“This whole thing is unnecessary,” Richard said. “Do I look sick to you? I was with her more than anyone else. If anyone’s going to get sick, it’s me, and I would’ve gotten sick days ago.”
Mr. Larson approached the group. “Mr. Carmichael, all you’re doing is spreading fear when there’s nothing to be afraid of. We’re all fine, and we’ll continue to be fine. We’re losing daylight by standing around here and worrying for nothing.”
“I’ll tell you what we’ll do,” Joe spoke up before anyone else could say anything. “Mr. Carmichael will travel on ahead. The Larsons can follow at a safe distance. I’ll need someone to help lead. I’ll lead Mr. Carmichael’s group, and someone else will lead the Larsons’ group.” He looked at Mr. Carmichael. “Fair enough?”
Mr. Carmichael nodded after a long moment. “That will do.”
Mr. Larson went up to Joe. “I’ll lead my family.”
Joe nodded and got on his horse. “Alright.” He turned to everyone and called out, “Those who want to go with Carmichael, go over there.” He pointed to the southwest. The rest can stay here with the Larsons. I’ll lead the first group, and Larson will lead the second.”
Mr. Larson went to get a horse to ride while Richard headed back to Amanda. From the group, she noticed Laura was heading for her when her mother grabbed her arm and shook her head. Her mother whispered something to Laura, who glanced Amanda’s way.
After her mother went to their wagon, Laura hesitated, giving another look at Amanda. With a sigh, she mouthed the words “I’m sorry” then followed her mother.
Amanda watched Laura, surprised she would even care enough to show the group she wasn’t afraid to travel with the Larsons. In so many ways, Laura was like Richard. Laura was the kind of friend who would never betray someone, and if there was ever something someone needed, Laura would move heaven and earth to provide it if it was in her power to do so.
Amanda couldn’t think of a single thing she’d said or done to deserve such wonderful people in her life. What a strong contrast to the girls she’d gone to school with, who had pretended to be her friend but had made fun of her behind her back. Laura wouldn’t have joined them. She most likely would have defended Amanda.
Amanda tried to blink back her tears, but one fell down her cheek. She brushed it away, hoping Richard hadn’t seen it, but as he unlocked the brake, he glanced her way.
“Are you alright?” he asked, immediately edging closer to her.
“I’m fine,” she assured him, even as she brushed away another tear. “I was just thinking of how blessed I am. I have you for a husband.” She took his hand and squeezed it. “And Laura’s a good friend. Then your family has been so nice to me. I’m looking forward to being in Omaha.”
He smiled and kissed her. “It wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Smiling in return, she slipped her arm around his and leaned against him as he urged the oxen forward. All the shadows in her past were back in New York, and the future in Omaha couldn’t be brighter.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Early October
Amanda and Richard had been settled into their new, small apartment for just over a month when he began to look for work in e
arnest. On one such day while he was gone, there was a knock at the door. Amanda set aside the broom and called out, “Who is it?” as she headed for the door.
“Laura,” came the familiar voice on the other end.
Amanda unlocked the door and opened it, surprised to see Laura holding Elliot, who was already old enough to hold his head up on his own and smile. Grinning at the boy, Amanda waved Laura in. “I didn’t think you’d come by since you mentioned watching him today.”
Laura sat on the secondhand couch and took off her bonnet. Amanda took it from her and put it on the hook. After closing the door, she offered Laura something to drink.
“Just water, thanks,” Laura said.
Amanda hurried to pour her a glass then returned to her, sitting next to her since there were no other furnishings in the small room except the table. “Mrs. Shaw let you out of her sight?”
Laura took a drink of water then put it down. “Jesse was out getting the field ready for spring, and she wasn’t feeling well. I think Elliot’s crying has taken its toll on her.”
“He still cries a lot?”
“About the same time every evening for about an hour. She said she needed to rest up before she can do it again tonight.”
“I wonder what’s troubling him?”
“My mother said there are babies who cry for no real reason.”
“Does holding him help?”
“I think so, but it takes more than Jesse and Mrs. Shaw to give him what he needs. I can’t blame either one. I mean, Jesse has to get his new land ready for farming next year, and Mrs. Shaw is old. What they need is a woman who can mother him.”
Noting the quiet tone Laura used to say the last part, Amanda’s eyebrows rose. Laura couldn’t be thinking what Amanda thought she was thinking. Who in their right mind would want Mrs. Shaw for a mother-in-law? Or, would Mrs. Shaw technically be Laura’s mother-in-law since she was really Jesse’s mother-in-law? Amanda shook her head. Just thinking about it gave her a headache.
“I’ve thought long and hard about it,” Laura began, “and I adore Elliot. He’s such a sweet boy. He can’t help it when he cries. He’s only four and a half months old.”
“It’s a big responsibility. Being a mother is a lot different from watching him from time to time.”
“I know, but I love him. I want to watch him grow up and get married and have children of his own.”
Amanda chuckled. “Let him be a boy first,” she teased. She waited for a moment, choosing her words carefully before she continued, “You have a big heart, Laura. Probably the biggest of anyone I know. I couldn’t be as selfless as you. You’re a better person than I am.”
“Don’t say that. It’s not true.”
“It is. There’s no sense in denying it.”
“But you make Richard happy.”
“He has a big heart, too.”
“So? That doesn’t mean you don’t make him happy. I overheard him telling his father that he wouldn’t have been complete if you hadn’t married him.” She cleared her throat. “I overheard them when we got into Omaha, and his father asked him if he could be happy if he didn’t get the job he wanted. It seems to me when you love someone, you’ll make any sacrifice necessary to be with them.” She rubbed Elliot’s back. “That’s how I feel about this little boy.”
“But what about loving a man, Laura? Don’t you want to marry for love? Jesse’s still mourning the loss of his wife. I don’t think he’s ready to love anyone else yet.”
“I know he’s not, and it’s alright. I don’t mind. The important thing is Elliot has a mother.”
Amanda bit her tongue, so she wouldn’t argue with her. It seemed that Laura had already made up her mind. She doubted there was anything she could do to change it. Not that she went around trying to change people’s minds anyway. Such a thing never made her comfortable. Laura was the same age as her. Certainly, she could make her own decisions, much like Amanda could.
“Just make sure you’re doing what’s in your best interest, too,” Amanda finally said. “I realize Elliot is young and could use a mother, but I want to make sure you’re happy.”
Laura took another drink of water and smiled at her. “You’re a good friend, Amanda, and you’re smart to be practical about this. I should give it a little more time to consider. Besides, Jesse might not like the idea. The wounds from losing Elsie are still new.”
“Whatever you decide, you have my support.”
“Thank you.” Elliot cooed and held his arms out to Amanda. “Would you like to hold him?”
Up to now, Amanda had been too afraid to say yes. The boy was awfully small, and she wasn’t sure she had it in her to be the motherly type. Being gentle and nurturing seemed to come so easily to Laura. But Amanda decided this time she would do it.
“Alright.” Amanda held her arms out to him, holding her breath as Laura brought him to her. She wrapped her arms around him, shocked he should squirm so much. “He’s stronger than he looks,” she told Laura, making sure she held him protectively so he wouldn’t fall out of her lap.
Laura grinned. “You get used to it. And yes, he is strong despite his size. He’s a fighter. My mother keeps saying he’s much too small for his age and that he’s going to be weak when he’s older. She underestimates him. When he grows up, he’s going to do great things. I can feel it.”
“I suspect he’ll do great things because you’ll be there to encourage him. It helps to have someone who believes in you.”
There was a knock at the door, followed by Richard letting her know he was on the other side. He’d made it a habit of doing that for her, so she’d know right away it was him and know it was safe to unlock the door. With Laura in the apartment with her, Amanda didn’t feel the need to lock it, but whenever it was just her, she always did.
Laura didn’t know this, of course, since Amanda hadn’t told her, and no doubt, Laura wondered why Richard would knock when he lived there. But to her credit, she kept quiet as Amanda went to the door and opened it.
“Laura came to visit,” Amanda told him then smiled at Elliot. “She brought over Jesse’s son. Can you believe he’ll be five months old soon?”
Richard smiled at the boy and tapped his nose, which resulted in Elliot laughing. Richard then kissed her cheek and came into the apartment to welcome Laura.
Laura rose to her feet. “I just came over to talk for a bit with Amanda.” She took Elliot from Amanda then retrieved her bonnet. “I wasn’t going to stay for long.”
“You don’t have to leave because I’m here,” Richard said as he took off his hat and hung it on the hook.
“Oh, I promised Mrs. Shaw I’d come back with Elliot in two hours, and it takes a while to get back to Jesse’s farm,” Laura explained. “Otherwise, she wouldn’t let me bring him here. I wanted to talk to Amanda really quick. Get her advice.”
“I didn’t realize that’s what you wanted,” Amanda said.
“Sometimes it helps to get someone else’s opinion on something, especially when they aren’t in the situation,” Laura replied.
Amanda could tell by the expression on Richard’s face that he didn’t know what Laura was talking about. That was probably just as well. There was no reason to say anything if Laura didn’t marry Jesse so Elliot could have a mother.
After Laura left, Amanda closed the door and turned to Richard as he sat on the couch. “How did things go?” she asked and went to sit next to him.
He put his arm around her shoulders and brought her close to his side. “I found a job.” Before she could ask who he was working for, he added, “It’s not with any of the owners who build houses. I’ve exhausted all of those avenues. The only thing I could find that even sounded remotely interesting is at a blacksmith’s.”
“I thought there would be a big demand for people who can build places for people to live.”
“There is, but there’s also a lot of men who want to do the job.”
“But you said people are moving here
faster than there are people who can build houses.”
“That’s true, but it’s hard to satisfy the need when you can’t find someone to take you under their wing to do the job.”
“Well, why don’t you go into business for yourself? Become one of the owners, so you can help meet the demand.”
Richard shook his head. “It’s not that easy. I’d not only be hiring people, but I’d be keeping track of inventory and doing the bookkeeping.”
“I can do some of it,” she offered. “I always enjoyed working with numbers. When I was living with my sister, I used to handle the household budget.”
He gave her a good look. “You really like bookkeeping?”
She turned to face him, growing excited. “I could keep track of your supplies and maintain a record of your expenses and income. Richard, you don’t have to do this alone. You have me to help you.” She smiled. “Pursue your dream. Don’t settle for something you don’t have to.”
After a long moment, he nodded. “You’re right. I should go for my dream. Are you really sure you want to do all that, though?”
“I’d love to, Richard. You wouldn’t be asking me to do something I don’t want to do. I was good at arithmetic in school, remember?”
“Yes, I remember the teacher saying you were the smartest one in class.” With a chuckle, he added, “It used to annoy Ronald and Benjamin to no end that a girl was better at arithmetic than they were.”
“But it didn’t annoy you?”
“No. I was never in competition with you. I was happy you got good marks on your assignments.”
“Isn’t that just like you? You were always happy whenever good things happened to me and sad when they didn’t. I can’t think of any other person who consistently puts my needs before theirs. Now it’s my turn to do something for you. I want to do everything I can to help you with your dream.”
Wagon Trail Bride (Pioneer Series Book 1) Page 17
