“Sure. Split custody, two parents are better than one.”
“You’re insane,” she groused and kept walking.
“Insane for you.” I snagged her hand and clenched it in my own before planting a kiss on her cheek.
“Slade.” She shook her hand from mine and pulled away “There are people around.” Her eyes darted around us.
“So?”
“I told you, no relationships.”
“You promised you were mine.” I pinched her ass as she walked.
“I said my pussy was yours, big difference,” she teased.
“Not to me it’s not.” I felt the frown cross my face as I planted my feet.
Blue eyes turned to meet mine. “Slade, I told you.”
“I don’t care. Bad enough I have to hide the club from everyone in this fucking town, I’m not hiding you too. This…” I reached between her legs and fingered through the denim of her jeans, “is mine, and I want every poor asshole in this town to know it.”
“You promised you wouldn’t push me.”
“No, I didn’t. I just hedged my bets in the short term. You and me are long term, baby, and I want to hold your fucking hand, maybe even kiss you in public. Get used to it.” I interlaced our fingers and dragged her along with me. She wiggled and tried to escape my grip.
“Stop squirming.” I squeezed tighter until she finally fell into step beside me with a huff. Her hand relaxed, and with our fingers locked, we continued to walk.
“Good girl. Should I reward that sweet pussy tonight for obeying me?”
“Fuck off.”
I laughed before I could even think. “Who’s pouting now?”
“I hate you,” she spat.
“Your pussy loves me.”
“She’s hedonistic and impulsive. Gets herself into plenty of irresponsible situations. I don’t listen to her if I can help it.”
“I like impulsive and hedonistic. Two of my favorite words.” I squeezed her hand for a fraction as we walked, shoulders brushing lightly.
“Wild gave me the night off Wednesday. Wanna get out of town, do something?”
“Is this you or your pussy talking?” I joked.
“Shut up,” she said before I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and stroked the delicate line of her neck.
“I’d love to but I won’t be here.”
“Where are you going?” Her steps slowed.
“Portland, I’ve got some meetings. Not sure how long I’ll be gone. Discussing opening a club in Vegas.”
“Wow.” She walked silently for a few moments. “When do you leave?” She was fully stopped now, feet digging into the sand.
“Tomorrow morning. Why?” I turned to face her.
She shrugged out of my reach and we stood close, but not touching, nowhere near touching. Her face blanked and miles seemed to separate us.
“When were you going to tell me?” She twisted her fingers together.
“I dunno, today I guess. Just never came up before. Business shit.” I shrugged and made to step away. I turned when she didn’t follow. “What’s the problem?”
“Nothing. I just didn’t realize the club would have you gone for days on end.” Her gaze was focused on the blonde sand grains that danced in the distance.
“It happens now and again.”
“Yeah, okay.” She turned and gazed at the islands that dotted the coast and the horizon beyond.
“I sense something much bigger here. I need you to be honest.”
“I am, there isn’t a problem. I just feel like you have me coming and going. One minute you’re latching onto me, promising commitments, and the next you’re gone.”
“On business. Gone on business. Lots of people have to travel on business. It happens.”
“Whatever, Slade. You’re right. Just threw me for a loop. The whole sex club thing, consider me thrown.” She forced a smile.
“Sorry, babe. I promise there isn’t a reason to be.”
“Okay.” There was that fake smile again. I nearly growled with frustration.
“Okay. Well, I’m usually not gone for more than a week, but these guys are being tight wads, so I can’t make promises when I’ll be back.”
“Perfect,” she mumbled as she turned, crossed her arms, and walked back towards where we’d parked.
“Fuck, Dillon. What is this?” I jogged to catch up with her. “Lay it out for me.” I stopped her in her tracks.
‘“No. I’m fine. I need to get home. I’ve got laundry and stuff.” She brushed past me, swiped her sandals off the sand, and bee-lined for my truck.
“Well, fuck.” I ran a hand through my hair as I hopped behind the wheel. We drove in silence the few miles back to her place.
“We okay?” I asked a few minutes later when I pulled into her driveway. My intent was to open her door for her, but she’d launched out and was halfway to the steps by the time I’d gotten out.
“We’re perfect.”
“Okay.” I leaned in for a kiss but she turned a cheek and brushed me off. “Jesus, Dillon. I know you don’t like this, but it’s business. It’s my livelihood. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” I ran a thumb across her high cheekbone.
“There isn’t anything to come back to. I’ll be fine. We’re fine. We’re not together. Come and go, whatever. I’ve got to work. I have a few things to take care of, it’s not a big deal.”
“’Kay.” I rolled my eyes and kissed her on the cheek before backing away to my truck.
She gave a half wave when I sat behind the wheel. I soaked her up standing there waving at me with a small smile. She was beautiful, complex, sassy, so many things that intoxicated me. But there was something else going on, something she wouldn’t tell me about, but with Dillon it was all about the baby steps. I feared if I pushed her too far I’d lose her. And that wasn’t an option when I’d just gotten her.
I went home that night and worked Dillon over in my head a thousand different ways.
Abuse.
Abandonment.
Commitment issues.
Inability to trust.
I couldn’t come to any one conclusion, and yet she ate at me.
I couldn’t stand the thought of going to Portland on an open-ended business trip and leaving her behind like this. So I made a decision. I was going to act. Grand gestures and all that.
Which is what brought me to her front door at midnight. I had to leave by eight the following morning, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t go, not like this. I lifted an arm to knock but thought I’d try the knob first on the off chance she’d left it open.
And fuck if she hadn’t.
Blood boiled and I wanted to ream her ass for leaving her door unlocked at midnight but I calmed myself down and stepped in. The house was silent. Dark. I felt like an intruder. I supposed I was. I made my way down the hall to find a soft light filtering out from her bedroom door. I clenched my fists and thought about what to do next. Knock, walk in, scare her, take her. Remind her she was mine and not to forget it while I was gone, that’s what I really wanted to do.
I pushed the door gently and it opened without a noise. Peeking my head in I found her wrapped in a blanket in the corner, legs curled beneath her, book in hand, sound asleep.
“Oh, sweet girl.” I went to her in a few long strides and knelt at her feet.
My hands went to her thighs over the crocheted fibers. I rubbed her body and hummed, before her eyes flickered open. They slowly focused and found my face before confusion fell upon them. “What are you doing here?” She sat up straighter, her book tumbling to the floor.
I picked it up and set it on the side table. “Lost your page.” I fingered the yellowed paper of the old volume.
“Pride and Prejudice.” She smiled softly.
“Interesting choice. Love and hate personified.” I chuckled. We’d been forced to read the literary classic in high school, and for some reason it had always stuck with me.
“And hope. They found each other, fou
nd themselves. It’s one of my favorites.”
“All the heartache they endured though. Why do you like sad things, Dillon?” I stroked her face as I spoke to her.
“Why do you say that?” She stretched and yawned.
“Just came to the conclusion. You’re a beautiful but sad creature.”
“You’re sweet.” She reached a hand to stroke through my hair. “Maybe a little misguided,” she laughed, “but sweet. Why are you here?”
“Well, first, your door was open. I should skin your hide for that,” I groused.
“Next subject.” She rolled her eyes and stood, tossing the blanket on the chair behind her.
“Shit was weird when I left; I don’t want it to be weird. I can’t avoid this trip, but I don’t want to leave us hanging.”
“Slade, there is no us. Can we just go back to how we were? Just fuck buddies? This, all this complication, doesn’t work for me.”
“This isn’t complication, just ironing out some wrinkles.” I stood and wrapped an arm around her waist to bring her close to me. “Tell me we’re okay.” I touched my forehead to hers.
“Slade…there isn’t a ‘we.’”
“There is, Dillon. Whether you want to think so or not, this–” I placed a hand to my chest, and then to hers, “Doesn’t lie.” I caught my eyes with hers to emphasize my point, to say the words without speaking them. Hoping she’d ingest them in some other way.
“I came to ask you to come with me.” I held her palm in my own and swayed her back and forth to imaginary chords.
She smiled and tucked her head into my shoulder, melted into me, her body soft and open.
“I can’t.”
“You can.”
“Fine. I don’t want to,” she said softly.
“Why?” I murmured into her silky, champagne hair.
“It’s a sex club, Slade. I don’t think I’m ready…I don’t know if I’ll ever be…willing to be around that.”
“You don’t have to go to the club, you can stay at my apartment.”
“While you’re gone all day? That’s not for me. I’ll never be the stay-at-home girl.”
I hummed in her ear as we rocked back and forth in the dim light of her bedroom.
“I know,” I finally said.
“Is that the only reason you came?”
“Yeah, and I wanted you in my arms the night before I left. Get my feel of what’s mine.” One side of my mouth lifted in a satisfied grin.
“I wanted that too.”
And like melted chocolate she dissolved into me. We tumbled on the bed and came undone together, naked and strong and weak in every movement.
And when I left the following morning, I realized I hadn’t found any greater comfort for having gone to her doorstep, to her bed, than if I hadn’t seen her at all.
I was close to her physically, but Dillon always gave that up easily. It was her heart I felt miles away from. And I wasn’t sure she would be there when I got back. My gut felt like it’d taken a grenade.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Brian stood to kiss me on the cheek as I approached the secluded table.
“Sorry I missed your call last night.” I offered an apologetic smile.
“I don’t like when you ignore me.” Brian’s face fell into a playful pout. I leaned in to plant a kiss on his lips as I swatted his cheek.
“I would never ignore you, just missed it. My phone died and I couldn’t find the charger.” I dropped my bag on the seat beside me.
“With someone else?” he asked.
“Never.” A giggle fell from my lips as we took our seats. “So how’s it been?” My eyes searched his familiar dark ones.
“Same as always. I’ve missed you. I hate being apart like this.” His hand reached across to clasp my own.
“I know.” His hand was warm and comforting. I didn’t have this with anyone, had never found it, only with Brian. I couldn’t explain it, didn’t try, but some days I felt like he’d pulled me through, kept me grounded, kept me present. If it hadn’t been for him…
“Maybe we could get away, go to the city for a while?” he threw out as the server left with our order.
“I don’t think I can get time off work like last time. My boss just had twins, he’s pretty preoccupied. I would love to though. That weekend in Boston was perfect. Spending every day together, exploring the sights. Late nights…we’ll do it again just as soon as I can get away.”
He nodded, stroking the skin of my wrist sadly. “How has he been? Do you think he knows?”
“I can handle him. Don’t worry about me. I know you want to save me, be my knight in shining armor, but you don’t have to. I’ve got it under control.”
“I’m sick of meeting in secret, I want to go out with you. Be with you in public. This is bullshit.” Brian pounded the wooden tabletop between us.
“Hey, stop. We will, someday. I promise. You know I don’t make promises, but this will blow over and we will. He won’t come between us.” I ran my thumb along the soft skin of his palm. From the moment I’d met Brian I’d loved him. He’d wrapped himself around my heart and I couldn’t imagine a life without him in it.
“Promise me, Dillon? ‘Cause I’m sick of waiting. I’m so sick of waiting on everyone else’s schedule. I want to live my life and I want you in it.” His dark eyes melted to muddy, brown pools, emotion swirling in them.
“I promise. Soon. I love you, regardless of anything else, don’t forget that.” I smiled before he lifted my hand and placed a soft kiss in the center of my palm.
“I love you too,” he murmured as our entrees came. We laughed through dinner, enjoying wine and the few stolen moments we had together before going our separate ways with a kiss and a promise for more.
I headed for my car, careful to keep an eye out for anyone I knew, before slipping in and heading back home. I had to work tonight and Wild didn’t do excuses, no matter how important the date.
I pulled into my driveway less than fifteen minutes later to find a splashy bouquet of red roses on the front porch.
I frowned in confusion before I lifted the card. “What a sneaky shit.” A slow smile lit my face.
To impulsive hedonism. -S
I laughed out loud, flipping the card between my fingers.
Bringing the vase into the house I sniffed the vibrant roses before setting them on the center of the kitchen table and getting ready for work.
I hated flowers—they died, you only had a week if you were lucky of eye-catching color before they wilted to a depressing shade of oxblood, and they were a reminder that everything in life was temporary.
Some took the temporary nature of the blooms as a lesson to embrace the beauty while you had it. I took it as a reminder not to get too attached.
But that card, that card made me smile. Slade was always making me smile.
I couldn’t deny that I had fun with him, I just couldn’t let him get too close.
I went to work an hour later to find another vase sitting at the bar. I grinned as I flipped open the card.
To sunsets and orange Fanta. -S
“Slade…” I groaned out loud as a traitorous grin split my lips.
“Nice flowers. They from that pussy-whipped best friend of mine?” Wild sauntered by on the way to his office.
“Shut up,” I gritted between my teeth but my heart was flying high. I hated flowers, but just maybe I could love them from Slade. The cards were the part that had me amused and looking forward to the next.
The bar was slow that night so I found myself tucked in bed early and getting the first full night’s rest I’d had in a long time.
I woke the next morning to bright glaring sun and a knock on the door.
I groaned as I wrapped myself in a bathrobe before padding to the front door.
“Oh my god,” I said with a laugh. “Thanks.” I passed the delivery guy a small tip.
I took the vibrant yellow vase of sunflowers from his hands. Setting them on the counter, I turne
d, lip held between my teeth as I fingered open the envelope.
Miss you like a fat kid misses cake. -S
I clasped my hand over my mouth and giggled. Shaking my head, I fished my phone out of my bag and sent a text.
This is ridiculous.
I want to be on your mind morning, noon, and night.
Unavoidable with all these smelly flowers stinking up the place.
And the bar?
And the bar lol.
Enough already, really. I get the point.
Miss you.
Later, Slade ;)
I walked into the bar that night half expecting to see another vase of blooms, but only the same old, dank lighting and shiny, wooden bartop met me.
I breathed a sigh of relief, but inside my heart fell. Just three gestures and he had me spoiled. It was those cards I loved. Maybe he’d run out of witty sayings.
I rushed through my shift, busier than usual due to the tourists in town. With so few places to eat, bar food went over well with the out-of-towners.
I didn’t make it home ‘til after three and nearly tripped over another vase on my doorstep.
I huffed and smiled and flicked on a light in the kitchen. More giant, yellow sunflowers and one deep, dark, burgundy one. I lifted it out and found the stem wrapped in silky fabric.
I opened the card and found one line.
Put this on and call me. -S
Setting the card down, I unwound the silky fabric until it fell in a waterfall on the kitchen table. A blindfold. He had to be kidding.
I brought the vase, card, and silky blindfold to my room before stripping and stepping into the shower to get the greasy smell of the bar off my skin.
Fifteen minutes later and I was lying in bed, book beside me, phone in hand, hovering over his name. I slid the butter-soft fabric of the blindfold through my fingers and debated.
If he wanted to play, I would play.
I snuggled deep under the down comforter, slipped the blindfold over my head and pressed his name on my contact list.
“Wearing it?” His deep voice filled my ears and had arousal surging through my veins.
“Yes,” I murmured.
“Wet already, aren’t you? I can hear it in your voice, all throaty and soft. Sexy as hell.”
Slade Page 8
