He also dreaded what awaited him when he left the hospital.
Audrey studied him. “Don’t worry about talking to my dad.
Obviously the pregnancy upset him, but overall he’s a really nice guy.”
“A really nice guy?” Leo quirked his eyebrow. “Is that what you call a murderer?”
Her face fell, and he immediately regretted his words. They’d conveniently avoided any real discussion of her father’s conviction in the nine months since his arrest. Leo didn’t want his suspicions to slip out, and Audrey seemed more than happy to leave the subject alone.
Her voice trembled. “He’s not a murderer.” He couldn’t find the words to apologize. “How do you know, Audrey? How’d the court martial get it all wrong?”
“How can you date me — how can you love me, if you think I’m the daughter of a murderer?”
“After everything I’ve been through with CS, do you honestly think I’d judge someone by their father’s actions?” he snapped.
Leo realized he was shouting. He hated arguing with Audrey, but his anger certainly felt more satisfying than the apathy consuming him. He managed to lower his voice. “I do love you, Audrey. But your dad’s still a murderer.”
Dr. Patel, his surgical resident, walked into the room and froze, sensing the tension. “I could come back another time?”
“Don’t bother. I was just leaving.” Audrey flipped her long hair over her shoulder as she reached down for her bag.
“Audrey, don’t go.”
She ignored him and disappeared.
He closed his eyes. Of course she’d left. He couldn’t stand to be around himself these days, and he didn’t imagine his company was any better for others.
Dr. Patel smiled. “It’s finally time for you to go home.”
“I can leave?” Leo’s eyes lit up. As he sat up, he was pleased to find himself nearly pain free.
“Hold on, there.” The physician held up her hand. “Before you go, I want to review instructions for cleaning your surgical scar. And you’ll need someone to help with the wheelchair I’ve ordered.”
“Wheelchair?” Leo narrowed his eyes. “I’m walking out of here, Doctor.”
“And how do you plan to walk on your sprained ankle?”
“Okay, then give me some crutches, please, ma’am.”
“Leo, your wrist sprain means you can’t apply pressure to that joint. You can’t use crutches. You’ll have to use a wheelchair.” He slumped back on the bed, extending his legs and sinking his head into the pil ow. He rubbed his forehead with his palm. “No way. I’m not going in a stupid wheelchair.” As if on cue, an orderly wheeled it in and parked it by the bed.
“Thank you. We’ll take it from here,” Dr. Patel said.
She patted his leg. “It’ll take some getting used to, but you’ll need to use the wheelchair for probably about a week. You wouldn’t want to push your wrist or ankle too fast or they might not heal correctly.”
“This just sucks…ma’am.”
“I bet.” Dr. Patel nodded. “Here you are this stud athlete, and you can’t even walk on your own. But it’ll get better. I’m wondering, who’s taking you home?”
He looked away. “Apparently not my girlfriend. Suppose I can call my brother.”
“He can take you home?”
“Yes, ma’am.” His eyes rolled up to the ceiling. We’ll just have to make a stop first, I guess.
As Jason drove him to the brig, Leo’s legs jiggled. He chewed his lip. He rubbed the stubble on his head. He picked at the bandage covering his right wrist.
“You nervous about seeing Audrey’s dad?” Jason asked.
He halted his fidgeting. “No.”
Jason nodded, but appeared to stifle a laugh.
When his brother stopped in the parking lot, Leo froze, staring at the prison. “Can’t I just kind of, you know, hop in there without getting into the freaking wheelchair?” Jason shrugged. “Fine by me, man. But you might want to play the wheelchair card.”
“What?”
“Listen, Leo, you’re pretending you’re all fine with going in there, but we both know you’re crappin’ your pants. This is the father of the girl you knocked up. And the guy’s a convicted murderer to boot.
All I’m saying is you might want to stir up some pity by wheeling yourself on in there.”
Leo rubbed his mouth. Maybe Jason was right — maybe this could work to his advantage. Visions of Audrey danced in his head.
Not many people could say they’d done it in a wheelchair!
Oh. But Audrey wasn’t even speaking to him at the moment, and the next person he’d be wowing with the wheelchair was her father. He’d be lucky to emerge with his equipment intact. Still, it had to be done.
“Let’s do it.”
Jason wheeled Leo into the visiting room.
Once Leo saw the glass barrier and an MP leading the handcuffed prisoner to his seat, he felt better. “You can go, Jase.”
“Okay, man. Good luck.” Jason patted his shoulder and hightailed it out of there.
Leo eyed Mr. Rose, who picked up the phone and gestured for Leo to do the same. Leo took a deep breath and put the phone to his ear.
Mr. Rose cleared his throat. “You’re…you’re in a wheelchair.”
“Yes, sir.”
“Why is that?”
“I sprained my wrist and ankle, so I’m not allowed to use crutches for another week.”
Mr. Rose looked down. “Your father did that? He hurt your wrist and ankle?”
“Yes, sir,” Leo mumbled. He closed his eyes for a moment as the struggle with his father, being pinned to the wall and fighting to stay conscious, washed over him.
“Thank you, ah, for coming to see me, Leo. I know this must not be easy, but Audrey’s always told me good things about you. I know you try to do the right thing.”
Leo said nothing and felt his face grow warm.
“You’ve been very brave to deal with the abuse all by yourself.
Thank God now people know.” Mr. Rose looked down again. “I’m sorry I didn’t know. I should’ve protected you.”
“You’re apologizing to me? I’m the one who’s sorry, sir. I’m, I’m sorry…for hurting Audrey.”
Mr. Rose’s shoulders slumped. “I can’t be there for her, Leo.” His voice cracked. “I can’t protect my Audrey girl. I…” He gripped the phone with whitening knuckles.
Leo felt goose-bumps prickle his skin. He hoped Mr. Rose wouldn’t cry.
“I need to trust you…to take care of Audrey. I need you to be there for my daughter…to never hurt her, no matter what. Can you do that for me, Leo?”
He winced. “I hurt her feelings today. I said something mean to her.”
“We guys say stupid things all the time,” Audrey’s father replied, unfazed. “Just tell her you’re sorry and mean it. She’ll come around.
I used to put my big size-twelve foot in my mouth all the time with Audrey’s mother.” He gave a sad smile. “Now we hardly get to talk to each other.”
Leo’s conscience prickled a little. What if the court martial had convicted the wrong man? Mr. Rose certainly didn’t seem like a murderer…
“What I’m asking you, Leo, is if you’ll love Audrey,” her father said, his eyes locked with Leo’s. “Will you put her needs ahead of your own?”
“Yes, sir. I will love her. I do love her.”
“I know you do. Which brings me to our next topic: how you express your love.” He fidgeted. “I’m sure your mom and Audrey’s mom will be talking to you both about, uh, sex, but we need to discuss this man to man.”
Leo wondered if his face might burst into flames, but Mr. Rose soldiered forward. “If Audrey hadn’t miscarried, do you think you’d be ready to become a father?”
“No, sir.”
“I agree with you, son. I know you both have big dreams about swimming and careers, and you and Audrey aren’t ready to be parents.
Therefore, I believe you aren�
�t ready to have sex.” He let his words hang between them for a moment. “I know that may seem harsh, but you’ve already demonstrated you can’t handle this responsibility.
I need to know that you’ll restrain yourself while you live with my daughter, Leo. Please promise me you two will learn from this and act like the intelligent people you are.” Leo swallowed. Embarrassment overtook him as he realized he’d been visualizing his next sexual encounter with Audrey just moments before meeting with her father. He had so little time left before he had to leave for the Academy. But Mr. Rose’s plea weighed on him.
Leo took in the prison surroundings: the gleaming metal of handcuffs, the stern stare of the MPs, the watchful gaze of the petty officer monitoring their conversation. It was a cold, hopeless place.
How did Audrey’s father survive here? He couldn’t fathom denying him this request.
“I promise, sir.”
Mr. Rose exhaled. “I thought for a moment there I’d have to threaten you with a chastity belt for Audrey.” Leo hadn’t heard of that, and his confusion must have been evident.
“Look it up: chastity belt,” Mr. Rose said. “I’m not above going medieval on your butts.”
Mr. Rose smiled warmly at Leo, and he couldn’t help but recip-rocate. They were from different generations, with different histories and different futures, but their common bond was Audrey. They both loved her like crazy.
45. Lobsters Swim Backward
Matt sounded angry. “Audrey, hop out.” Shading her eyes with a cupped hand, Audrey looked up at her coach — a dark, muscular silhouette framed by the sun. Sighing, she pulled herself out and chewed on her goggle strap.
“You’re swimming like a lobster today,” Matt said.
“Okay?”
“Lobsters swim backward.”
She shook her head. “I didn’t think I’d be this slow. I’ve only been out a week.”
Audrey had decided to keep the miscarriage secret. She told Matt she was having “girl problems” when she’d missed a week of practice.
“I don’t know if nationals are in the cards for you this season,” he said. “Missing your boyfriend at practice?” Audrey’s head snapped up. “No way!”
“Yikes. Trouble in paradise? He’s not abusing pain pills again, is he?”
“I don’t think so. This time he’s being a jerk all on his own.”
“Well, cut him a break. He’s been through a lot.” What about me? Audrey wanted to yell. She’d been pregnant and lost a baby! Didn’t that count? Sure, Matt didn’t know the whole story, but everyone seemed a lot more concerned about Leo.
Audrey’s anger lingered as she and Elaine dressed in the locker room after practice. “Wanna go out?” Audrey asked her friend. “I need a drink.”
“It’s a school night, Aud.”
“So what? We’re seniors.”
Elaine considered the invitation. “Alex’s parents are out of town.” She hooked Audrey’s elbow. “C’mon, let’s catch Alexa before he goes home.”
Jason wheeled Leo from the car to the Roses’ house just as his mother opened the front door. “Welcome, boys. I’ve got you all set up on the sofa, Leo.”
Jason rolled him down the hallway past the kitchen. Finally Leo sank into the leather sofa. This piece of furniture held good memories.
Too bad he’d just promised Mr. Rose he wouldn’t create any more.
His mother sat next to him, and Jason brought in two ice waters.
“Thanks, Jase,” Leo said.
“So,” his mother began, taking a sip. “How was your visit with Audrey’s father?”
Leo sat up and looked straight at her. “Mom? What’s a chastity belt?”
Mid-sip, his mother spewed water everywhere, and Jason burst out laughing.
“I’ll go get some paper towels,” he said.
Her blue eyes twinkled. “Is Denny going to make Audrey wear one?”
“He threatened to…what is it?”
“It’s a device to prevent young girls from having sex, Leo. It’s a metal belt that’s locked to prevent, uh, access.”
“Oh.” He started snickering too.
Jason returned and mopped around the sofa, then stood nearby with his hands on his hips.
“Thank you, honey.” His mother’s smile faded as she turned back to Leo. “Al jokes aside, did you come to an understanding about you and Audrey living together?”
“I think that’s my cue to leave,” Jason said. “I have a date with Cam.”
“Jason, I want to get to know Cameron better,” his mother said.
“Why don’t you bring her around more?”
“I wasn’t going to subject her to Dad. But we might hang out here sometimes, as long as Dad keeps his distance.” Jason turned to Leo. “I’ll pick you up for school at seven tomorrow, okay?” Dread tightened Leo’s chest. “Okay. See you then.” When the front door shut, his mother returned to her questioning. “You and Denny talked about things?”
“Yes, ma’am. Uh, you don’t — this is kind of embarrassing. Um, you don’t have to worry about us. I promised Mr. Rose I’d be smart.”
“Okay.” She sighed. “I haven’t been here for you…but you know you can talk to me, right? You don’t have to deal with everything yourself.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Leo vowed silently never to burden his mother with his drama. She had enough to deal with. He smelled the faint scent of coconut and chlorine. “Where’s Audrey?”
“This was her first day back at practice. She should be home soon.”
“Good.” Leo nodded. “I need to talk to her.”
“So, why’d you miss a week of practice?” Eric shouted over the vibrating bass .
Audrey knocked back a swig of her vodka tonic.
“It’s personal, Eric,” Alex jumped in. “Give Audrey a break.” Eric shrugged. “I just didn’t know if she had to take care of Leo or something.”
Audrey looked down. News of Leo’s surgery and his father’s incarceration had spread quickly through Pensacola High, and she wondered how he’d handle the stares and whispers when he returned.
She remembered the first few miserable weeks at school after her father’s conviction. She surely didn’t envy Leo.
She thought about her poor father stuck in prison, and the revelation that Leo believed he belonged there hit her all over again.
She felt sick and took another swig of her drink. It was a little less noxious with each sip.
Elaine shuffled playing cards then herded the group to the kitchen table. “C’mon guys, I’ll teach you to play euchre. Alexis, you’ll be my partner. We’ll whip Audrey and Erica’s butts.” Elaine pointed to where each should sit.
“Jeez, you get bossy when you drink,” Eric noted.
“Elaine thinks she’s all that, but we’ll be the champs, Eric,” Audrey said. “My euchre partner’s the only sober person here.” Eric blushed and glanced at his soda can.
“I mean, I’m really glad you’re not drinking, Eric,” Audrey said quickly. “Somebody needs to be responsible around here, and it’s sure as heck not going to be me. I’m sick of being responsible.” Elaine began Euchre 101, and Audrey was immediately confused.
“Wait, so the jack of spades isn’t a spade sometimes? It’s a heart?” Elaine sighed. “No! When clubs are trump, the jack of spades becomes a club.”
Still confused, the booming music distracted Audrey even more.
“Oh, yeah!” she yelled as the beat called to her. She boogied around the kitchen, splashing some of her drink on the tiled floor.
Laughing, Elaine and Alex joined her on the kitchen dance floor while Eric watched from his chair, shaking his head.
When Alex mimicked the choreography from the music video, Audrey and Elaine shrieked with laughter. Setting her drink on the counter, Audrey backed up to Alex, shimmying her body against his while she shouted the lyrics. Alex grabbed her hips and guided her through some dance moves.
When the room started to spin, Audrey threw h
er head back, letting her long hair tumble onto Alex’s chest. She felt free — free of her father rotting away in prison, free of her perfectionism in school and swimming, and free of grief over losing the little life inside her.
“Leo?” his mother called from near the counter. “I don’t know how I’ll get your dinner to you.”
Leo gathered himself off the sofa, balancing on one leg. “S’okay, Mom. I’ll hop on over.” He took small hops and accepted the plate in his left hand. “This should be interesting.” Taking even smaller hops back to the sofa, Leo considered it a small miracle he made it without spilling any food.
“I wish Audrey would come help us cripples,” she said. “I wonder where she is. I thought she’d be back by now.”
“Here, come eat with me.” Leo made another bunny trip to the kitchen and back and set his mother’s plate on the coffee table as well. They collapsed into their respective seats.
Leo began to eat, but also studied his mother. After starting to speak several times, he finally blurted, “How do you do it?”
“How do I do what?”
His face got hot. “How do you, um, deal with…this?” He gestured to her leg braces. “I — I don’t mean to be disrespectful, ma’am.”
“It’s fine to ask me questions, Leo. You’re not being disrespectful.
And feel free to lose the ‘ma’am’ since you’ll certainly use that enough at the Academy.” She offered him a wan smile. “How do I deal with being scary old cane lady? Not very well, I’m afraid.” After another moment she admitted, “I hate it.”
Leo looked up.
“I was top-ranked in practically every physical fitness category in ROTC. I could do anything I wanted, and my body never let me down. My pregnancies with Jason and you were a breeze. And now my body’s betrayed me.” She met his eyes. “Probably how you feel too. Your strong body’s not working so well right now. It sucks.” Leo nodded. It sure did.
“I hate the effect on my relationships too,” she added. “I can’t do what everyone else can, so I get left behind. I miss your swim meets, and I don’t have friends anymore.” There was a catch in her throat.
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