by Kathy Love
CHAPTER 12
“Aren’t they awesome?” Mina said, leaning in toward Elizabeth so she could be heard over the loud Journey cover.
Elizabeth glanced up at the band, all the members obviously immortals of some kind. They were good. But she wasn’t quite sure why Mina and her brother were obsessed with them. Then Sebastian gave Elizabeth an anticipatory smile, and she remembered what the appeal was.
Apparently her friend had gone from uptight Wilhelmina to wild, rock-and-roll Mina. And apparently the classic rock had a particularly aphrodisiacal effect on her.
Again, that was a bit too much information, but that was okay. She had to admit it was nice to see her friend so happy. And so in love.
And Sebastian was so damned smitten, a sight Elizabeth couldn’t have imagined seeing all those years ago. He had been too much of a flirt, and too fickle to settle down with one woman. Now Elizabeth couldn’t see him with anyone but Mina, proof that there were soul mates out there. In fact, all three of her brothers were proof of that.
Jensen appeared in her mind, but she shoved his memory aside, focusing again on the band on stage. The band was sort of southern rockers meet the undead, and there was no denying the effect they had on the crowd. Everyone was into it. She tried to be, but soon the music faded and she was remembering Jensen.
Maybe because she’d met him here. Or maybe just because she rarely thought of anything else for more than a few minutes at a time. Even though she had noticed that her body didn’t seem to be having that same uncontrollable need for him it had even just two days ago.
Maybe staying away was working. Maybe she’d gotten her crazy lust under control. Finally. Again, his beautiful features filled her mind. No, she still wanted him. Very much, but she didn’t feel almost insane with that need. She just wanted him because… she just did.
The band finished the Journey song, and the crowded bar erupted into applause. Elizabeth joined in automatically, and that reminded her of Jensen, too-the way he’d seemed to react to his friend’s singing only because he was expected to.
What had he been thinking about that night? It hadn’t been her-she had committed the moment when he’d noticed her to memory.
Okay, she was doing it again. Stop. Don ’t think about him. There was no point.
“Sebastian, would you get me another drink?” Mina asked, smiling sweetly at him.
“I’ve created a rock-and-roll obsessed lush,” he grumbled as he stood, even as his twinkling golden eyes showed that he loved everything about his woman.
“So what’s going on?” Mina asked as soon as Sebastian left the table.
“What?”
“You have been a million miles away all night. And you look exhausted.”
Elizabeth was surprised Mina had noticed anything aside from the music and Sebastian.
“I’ve been working a lot.” That was a lie. She hadn’t done anything with her research for the last few days. She’d just pined for Jensen like a pathetic, heartbroken fool. Which just didn’t make sense. Why did she feel so much for this man?
“You always work too much,” Mina said. “This is different.”
It was true-when she and Mina had been roommates in New York, she’d always been working, too. Her research was her primary focus. Her obsession. Now there was only Jensen.
“I guess I’m just getting discouraged.” That much was true. Elizabeth had been very discouraged, since this last formulation of the serum. Since nothing had improved. In fact, the full moon was only a couple days away, and she could feel it coming, just as she had for the last hundred and eighty-eight years.
“Moving here hasn’t helped? I’d hoped it would. I know you like the quiet.”
Normally she did. But now? Nothing felt right. Part of her wanted to tell Mina that. To share what had happened. But she couldn’t. She didn’t even know how to explain what had happened, especially without it sounding hideously sordid. But maybe if she said her thoughts aloud, it would help her sort them out.
“Wine,” Sebastian said from behind them, stopping her train of thought in its tracks. He reached between them to place glasses of white wine in front of them.
No. There was no way she was going to talk about Jensen now. Her brothers would never know about that. She couldn’t bear adding that information to the bit she’d already told them of her past.
“I didn’t ask for this,” Elizabeth said, forcing a smile.
“But you look like you could use it,” Sebastian answered.
Great. She must look bad if Sebastian could see she was a mess, too. And Sebastian could grill with the best of them. He’d been the one who’d gotten her to crack about every misdeed she’d done as a child. Sebastian had a way of lulling a person into revealing secrets.
But she wasn’t letting him go there. “So are you friends with the band?” Changing the subject was the best defense.
“You don’t recognize the lead singer?” Sebastian said, giving her an incredulous look.
Elizabeth peered up at the stage. She looked at first one musician, then another, finally taking in all of them. Nope, none of them looked familiar.
“No,” she finally said.
“That’s Renauldo D’Antoni. He played pianoforte at your sixteenth birthday.”
Elizabeth stared at the men again-none of the faces seemed familiar to her.
“Wait until their break, and I’ll introduce you again,” Sebastian said.
Elizabeth nodded, feeling oddly dazed. Only in the world of the undead and immortal could you run into someone who played for your birthday in 1898. Even though she, too, had lived that long, moments like this still had the ability to seem surreal. And also remind her that she couldn’t possibly have a normal relationship with Jensen. She could picture it now.
“Jensen, this is So and So. He played for my sixteenth birthday at the turn of the last century.”
Yeah. That relationship was so doomed.
She lifted the glass of wine, suddenly feeling a strong need to drown her sorrows. But as soon as the wine hit her tongue, she felt a wave of nausea. She wasn’t normally a wine drinker, but she knew Sebastian had chosen good wine. She supposed it was just another side effect of her stressed body.
She sighed, glad that at least Mina and Sebastian were again listening to the band. They played “Summer Of ’69” now. God only knew what that would do to Mina.
She was studying the men again, trying to remember her sixteenth birthday, and which one of the musicians had been there, when the hair on the back of her neck rose. Every nerve-ending in her body snapped to life, every cell aware of the change in the room.
She fought the urge to jerk around in her chair and see who’d come into the bar. There wasn’t much point to, really. She knew who’d come in.
Jensen.
She remained still for a moment longer, then slowly glanced over her shoulder. He strode into the room, a woman walking beside him. The blonde from the first night they’d met.
Jensen had his hand on the small of her back. Elizabeth’s hackles rose, and her teeth ground, but she forced herself to turn away. He wasn’t hers. She’d told him she didn’t want to see him again. He had every right to date. He had every right to move on. She couldn’t be hurt by that.
But she was. She ached at the sight of him touching another woman. She ached as if she was seeing the love of her life, a man she trusted and adored, with someone else.
But he’s not the love of your life. You don’t adore him, you don’t know him enough to have any trust in him. He’s a mortal. You are a werewolf. That’s like a bird and a fish falling in love. Or a human and an animal.
She had to let this go. She had to pretend that the sight of him and that woman wasn’t ripping her apart inside. Pretend, then maybe it will be true.
On the drive to Leo’s, Jensen told himself that he was only going there because the waiter at the West Pine Inn had told them that a great band was playing there tonight.
“Killer
classic rock, man.” The kid had been seemingly too young to appreciate classic rock, but then the classics never died, right?
And the kid hadn’t lied. Jensen had heard the good, hard rock blasting as soon as he’d pulled into the parking lot.
So right until he pushed open the door of the bar, he’d almost believed the band was why he was here.
Even as he found a seat and sat down across from his date, he’d had himself pretty much convinced. They were going to see a band. That was a fun thing to do on a date, spend some time listening to good music and chatting. Those were the only reasons. Then he realized he was scanning the bar, looking for long, dark hair and pale blue eyes.
He forced himself to stop what he hoped was a subtle perusal, and focused on Melanie. She was asking what Brian and Jill were like in high school. He did manage to hear her, to follow her words, as everything inside him told him to look around. Find Elizabeth.
He ignored the urge, and frowned at Melanie, realizing that he hadn’t heard what she’d asked after all. He gave her a sheepish smile.
“I’m sorry. I missed that.” He gestured toward the stage. “The music.” At least he had that to blame.
She nodded with understanding and leaned closer. “They’re good, though.”
He nodded, glancing toward the stage again. But this time, he didn’t see the musicians. He saw exactly what he’d hoped he would. Elizabeth.
Deny it all you will, buddy. You were praying she would be here. Damn, he was an ass.
He glanced at Melanie, afraid she would see he was staring at the beautiful brunette with the delicate features and hypnotic eyes.
Of course, Melanie wouldn’t know about her eyes. Elizabeth was in profile to him, her eyes gazing down at her drink. She hadn’t seen him. Yet. He could just tell Melanie that he didn’t feel well. That the music was giving him a headache. And they could leave before Elizabeth even realized he was there.
He glanced at Elizabeth again, wanting to go to her. Then he realized this was a mistake. Frankly, it was pathetic.
Elizabeth had made it abundantly clear she didn’t want to see him. She’d not come to him since the last night in her house, and frankly, he doubted if he would have seen her again, if he hadn’t gone to her. She didn’t want him, and he couldn’t pine for her like a lost puppy. He also couldn’t stalk her. He was on a date with another woman, who really didn’t deserve to be in the middle of this.
What the hell had he been thinking? He turned to Melanie to tell her this was a mistake. But when he faced her again, Elizabeth’s brother stood beside the table, his pale gaze, so like his sister’s, burrowing into him. From his expression it was clear there was no chance that he didn’t remember Jensen. And he didn’t look too impressed that the guy who’d come looking for his sister a few days ago was now on a date with another woman.
Not that Elizabeth’s brother had any idea why Jensen had been looking for her. They could just be friends. They could have been acquaintances. He could have been returning something she lost.
But from the unfriendly look on the brother’s face, he got the feeling that her brother was very aware of why Jensen had wanted to see Elizabeth. And Jensen also knew that her brother was the protective type.
“Can I get you a drink?” he asked, his gaze not leaving him.
“I’d like a vodka tonic,” Melanie said.
“And you?”
Jensen could definitely see the animosity in the man’s gaze. Which really seemed unjustified. After all, if Jensen could, he’d be with Elizabeth.
He glanced at Melanie, who waited for him to order. Guilt made it hard to speak, but he managed to say, “Club soda, please.”
Elizabeth’s brother nodded, his wintry eyes frosty.
“You never drink?” Melanie asked, no judgment in her tone, just curiosity.
“No. I guess I’m a bit of a stickin-the-mud.” Not to mention a total ass for bringing her here. So he could look for another woman. A woman who told him she didn’t want him.
“Well, not drinking is definitely more appealing than drinking too much.” She smiled as if she was ticking that off as a check in his favor. She shouldn’t.
He forced himself not to look at Elizabeth, even though every fiber of his being told him to just glance at her. To see if she saw him.
If she did, she likely didn’t care except to think he was truly pathetic.
“Oh, I like this song,” Melanie said, drawing his attention back to her. He registered the song, then tried desperately to listen to Melanie, the whole time his eyes practically twitching to watch Elizabeth.
Elizabeth nodded at something Mina said. Possibly about her honeymoon. But she just couldn’t follow her friend’s words. She was too upset. Too near tears. And she knew she wasn’t doing well at masking what she was feeling. Her distress must have been like thick perfume all around her.
“Elizabeth? What’s wrong?”
Yep, Mina had sensed her emotions. And from Sebastian’s deep frown, so had he. Even though she was trying her damnedest to temper them.
“It’s… ” What did she say? “It’s nothing.”
That wasn’t going to dissuade them, but she couldn’t think of what else to say. She swallowed back the ache, trying not to look at Jensen. But he was like a flashing lighthouse to her right, and if she looked at him, she’d end up smashed on the rocks. Okay, maybe that was overdramatic, but at the moment, it seemed apropos.
God, she wanted him. And she couldn’t watch that woman touching him. Her man.
She vaguely recalled watching them in this bar that first night. She also remembered wondering if they were a couple, and then not caring. She’d only wanted one thing from Jensen that night. Or so she’d thought. Now that night seemed like years ago. She felt so much for that man sitting across the room, not looking at her. It made no sense. But there it was. She did, and she felt like she was dying, watching him with another woman.
“I–I need to get a breath of fresh air,” she said, realizing she wasn’t going to be able to hold her emotions together.
She stood, the chair nearly toppling with her need to escape.
“Elizabeth,” Sebastian said, standing, too, although far more elegantly than she had.
Elizabeth raised her hand to stop him. “Just give me a minute. I’ll be fine.” She forced a smile, even as she doubted she’d ever be fine again.
She rushed through the tables, trying to weave as far away from Jensen and that woman as she could. As she passed the bar, she saw Christian watching her, a frown marring his perfect features. He looked as if he was going to call out to her, but she again raised her hand. She picked up her steps, until she was running. She didn’t care. She had to get away.
Once outside, she ran around to the side of the bar where no one leaving would see her. She collapsed against the building, shrouding herself in the shadows. She covered her face with trembling hands and let the strangled cry escape her clenched throat.
This was what it was like to want so desperately the one thing she couldn’t have. It felt like she was dying, the ache was so strong. And maybe the ache was worse, was stronger and more painful, because she could have had him, but she’d let him go.
She dropped her hands. No, she couldn’t have had him. Maybe if her cure had worked. Maybe if she wasn’t mated to a werewolf. Maybe if she were even marginally normal. But none of those things had been rectified, and she had to let him go. But she didn’t have to watch him move on. She could do the right thing, but watching him, she couldn’t do.
She rested her head on the side of the bar, staring up at the pale moon overhead. The orb looked like a lopsided circle. Only a couple more days until the full moon.
She had to focus on her research. She had to make that her priority again. She couldn’t pine for a “what if.” She had to let him go. She had to.
The pain would stop eventually, and the level of pain made no sense, anyway. She had to acknowledge he was better off without her. And she was b
etter off without him.
She remained where she was, absolutely still, except for the hot tears rolling down her cheeks.
CHAPTER 13
“Do you know her?”
Jensen frowned, looking away from the door where Elizabeth had rushed outside, staring at Melanie as if he’d just remembered she was here.
“Sorry.”
“That woman? Do you know her?”
He didn’t know how to answer. Did he know her? Not really. Yet, in some ways, she seemed to have overtaken his life to the point that he couldn’t remember a time when she wasn’t on his mind. But he couldn’t very well tell Melanie that.
“Yeah. I know her.”
Melanie nodded, and he could see the wheels turning behind her sky-blue eyes. Melanie was a smart woman, and she could tell his vague answer said plenty.
She looked down at the table, tracing a white ring from a drink staining the wooden tabletop. Jensen knew she was considering what that meant. He glanced back to the door, which remained closed. Where had she gone? Disappeared like she always did.
Again, when he looked back to the table, Melanie was watching him, and it was clear that she’d made up her mind about his vague words.
“Did you bring me here to make her jealous?”
He pulled in a deep breath. He hoped not. He didn’t think his plan had been that clear. He’d just seen the opportunity to possibly see her, and he’d taken it. Without considering what it would do to Melanie.
“No. I just… ” What the hell could he say?
Apparently that wasn’t the right thing.
She turned in her seat to gather her purse and her jacket. “Maybe we should call it a night.”
He started to stop her, but there wasn’t much point in dragging this on. He’d done something terrible to this woman who was truly a nice person.
He nodded. “Let me just go up and see if the drinks are done.”
When he approached the bar, he saw that Elizabeth’s brother was talking to another man, and while the other man had different coloring, he could see similarities in their features. Great-another brother.
Both men turned to look at him as he approached, and from their hard expressions, there was no doubt they were brothers and thus both related to Elizabeth. And they were not happy.
