I don’t care how it’s going to end, just that it happens this way. Right here, and right now.
“Mason,” she whispers my name as her release takes her gently, her pussy squeezing my dick and sucking me deeper into her. Trying to milk me. But I’m not done with her yet. I wait for her to stop trembling before moving my fingers to my lips. They’re slick with her arousal and taste like honey. I move my fingers down her throat and to the fabric of her dress. I wish she were naked so I could see every inch of her. So I could see the flush that’s creeping up her chest.
“This is going to be quick,” I tell her and then grab her hips in both my hands and angle her how I want her. I glance up to make sure she’s still watching and just like the good girl she is, those doe eyes are on me. I piston my hips, surprising her as she braces her limp body against the car. The intensity of the raw fuck makes her gorgeous lips form a perfect “O” as her body tightens and her silent scream makes her head thrash. I fist her hair again and pull her back.
“Mason,” she moans and my name is a twisted word of desperation on her lips.
“Cum for me,” I tell her, moving my other hand to her clit again. The fabric of her dress clings to me as I push her panties down enough to strum her swollen nub.
She screams out for the first time, and I’m quick to bite her neck. Hard. It’s a punishment for not obeying me, and it only makes her struggle against me harder. And only makes her pending orgasm that much more intense.
I fucking love it. I love what I do to her and how much pleasure it gives her.
Her body goes rigid, and her pussy tightens around my cock. She struggles to breathe and her head lolls back as she looks at the cement ceiling, her climax threatening to crash through her.
I nip her chin and move the hand that was gripping her hair to her face. I stare into her eyes as her body shudders and her neck arches, her hair draping over my shoulder. Her face is the epitome of sinful ecstasy. It’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
“Fuck,” I groan as she finds her release. Her tight cunt strangles my cock; she feels like fucking heaven. It only takes four more pumps, riding through her orgasm and taking her that much higher until I find my own release. My balls draw up, and my spine tingles. Fuck, yes. I bury my head in her neck as my cock pulses deep inside of her cunt.
The sounds of our heavy breathing surround us for a long moment.
I kiss the side of her neck right where the faint red marks are from my bite, running my nose along her soft skin and breathing in her scent as she breathes heavily against the car. Her legs are still trembling and a shudder runs down her body as I pull my lips away from her. She’s perfectly sated, just as she should be.
“You’re mine, Jules,” I tell her in a whisper that’s loud enough for her to hear and watch for her reaction. Her long lashes flutter as she opens her eyes and looks back at me. I pull her panties back into place and fix her dress, knowing damn well my cum will be leaking out of her the second she sits down in the car.
“Mason,” she whimpers my name, and her forehead creases as her eyes beg with me to take it back.
“No, you want me and I want you.”
She bites down on her bottom lip and says, “I’m not okay.” Her voice hitches, and her words crack. She closes her eyes and speaks as if it truly pains her to say the words. “I don’t know if I can be good for you.” Her large eyes look back at me as she adds, “I’m broken.”
I rest my forehead against hers and ask, “Why are you so afraid?”
“I don’t think this can just be sex for me,” she admits. I cup her jaw in my hand and brush my thumb across her cheek. “I think I’m going to want more. I think I already-” she cuts herself off and shakes her head.
My body feels tense, each breath hurting my chest. Why am I doing this to her? Why can’t I just let her go? “I can give you more,” I whisper in the air between us, knowing it’s what she wants to hear. “We can just see how it works between us, and be quiet in public?”
I’m giving her exactly what she wants, just to keep her.
I’m a prick for doing it, knowing it can never be what she really needs and wants.
But her eyes light up, and that soft smile comes back to me. She brightens with hope, and my shy girl comes back to me. “Really?” she asks, still panting, barely recovered from what I’ve already done to her.
She has no idea that she should be running from me. And I’m well aware I should turn her away regardless. Instead I smile down at her and kiss the tip of her nose. “Really,” I answer and hate myself that much more.
Chapter 18
Julia
There’s nothing wrong with mourning,
But know it doesn’t easily pass.
The tears and heartbreak are still coming,
This moment of pain surely won’t be the last.
There’s no reason to be ashamed,
What you once had long ago was love.
The memories won’t ever fade,
They’ll come as they please.
There’s no rhyme or reason for when the memories come back. There’s nothing I can see that causes it. There’s nothing I can blame.
Lying in Mason’s arms, naked and warm, the two of us each working on our laptops in comfortable silence. There’s not a damn reason that I should be thinking of Jace, but I am.
I didn’t want to. I scoot my back close to the sofa and try to get the images of him smiling at me out of my head. When I’d wake up in the morning, Jace would push the hair from my face and give me a quick kiss. Always on the lips, no matter how much I tried to dodge it. He thought it was cute how I didn’t want him to smell my morning breath.
Moments like that, moments we shared together that were easy and fun, where we fit beautifully together, those hurt the most. I let out an uneasy sigh and try to calm down, ignoring Mason’s eyes on me.
You’d think I’d be happy I had that at one point in time. That I had a man who loved me and who I loved, too. It’s easy to say I’ll be glad because it happened and not sad because it’s over. But the truth is I can’t say that. I can’t say it and mean it.
“What’s wrong?” Mason’s deep voice makes me feel even worse. I’m trying to just move on, but it’s not that easy.
I swallow the lump in my throat and pull the dark grey throw over my legs and up to my shoulders. “Just having a moment,” I tell him honestly, although I can’t look him in the eyes. I hope he’ll just let it go.
I hear his heavy breath as he pulls me closer to him and kisses my hair. I don’t expect the gentle touch from him. He whispers, “I get it.”
He splays his hand on my hip and runs his thumb back and forth over my bare skin. I wait for more, but he doesn’t say anything.
My laptop jostles across my legs as I try to get closer to him, loving the warmth, needing more of it. This is so wrong, isn’t it? To be upset over the passing of your husband while you’re in the arms of your lover.
“Sometimes-” Mason starts to speak just as my eyes glaze over and the words on the screen start to blur. I take in a steadying breath and stop that shit. Crying never helped me. It doesn’t do any good.
Mason clears his throat while I wipe under my eyes, my cheeks flaming from embarrassment and my heart racing like crazy.
“When my mom died, sometimes it was the oddest things that set me off.” I’m surprised by Mason’s confession, and grateful to be talking about him and not me.
“I’m sorry about your mom,” I tell him softly, my voice a bit scratchier than I’d like. I stare up into his eyes, and they’re so much lighter than usual, maybe because it’s dark all around us. Only the glow of the laptops and the city lights beyond the large living room window to paint the room in a soft glow.
He tilts his head to the side, tucking my hair behind my ear and I push my cheek into his palm. He has such large hands, rough but warm. And the perfect size for this.
A coarse hum comes from deep in his chest. It’s short, bu
t a sound of approval.
“It’s okay to hurt still,” he tells me. “It’s okay to cry and let it out, even if you’re already spent.”
My heart beats harder, my breathing becoming more difficult. I search his eyes for something, and he must see the panic in mine.
“Or we can do something else?” he offers.
“Like what?” I ask him.
He clucks his tongue, his gaze on my face, but not my eyes. Finally, he takes his hand away, and types something into the search bar on his computer.
A surprised gasp slips through my lips as he pulls up a book of poetry. Robert Frost.
I eye him curiously and he pets my hair before pulling my head in to rest on his shoulder. I get comfortable as he says, “I can read to you?”
My heart hurts so much in this moment. Not the pain of what I’ve lost, but the pain that I have something so beautiful and something I’m so grateful for, and yet I still have these moments.
I nod into his shoulder and whisper, “Please.”
I could listen to his deep, rugged voice read poetry to me in the dark for hours.
I could rest in his warm embrace for days.
I could stay here with this man forever.
Chapter 19
Mason
When it’s too good to be true, deep down you know.
You don’t want to hold on, because it’s certain to go.
But you get lost in the moment, the desire and trust
‘cause when it’s this good to you, you know it’s not lust.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. It wasn’t supposed to be this much more. I watch Jules as she licks the ice cream from her spoon, her tongue flat against the bottom and mindlessly watches the news.
Her notepad is in her lap, the pen on top. She was writing when I walked in here. It’s 4 a.m., and she can’t sleep.
My mother used to feed me ice cream every night before bed. I had to be in my room and under the sheets as soon as I was finished, but I got ice cream every night. All sorts of flavors, because I was never picky. Mom always ate strawberry though; it was her favorite.
Jules glances over at me, a flirtatious look in her eyes. “Do you want some?” she asks me, maneuvering her body in catlike motions to crawl over to me.
I shake my head no, but I can feel a small smile on my lips as I wrap my arm around her and place my hand on her thigh to scoot her closer to me.
She moans softly as she scoops up half of the last bit of cherry ice cream in the bowl. That shit has to be intentional, but she’s still watching the television as if it’s not. I pick my ass up slightly off the couch and readjust myself in my pajama pants.
She peeks at me, blushing and brushes her arm against my bare chest.
“You’re sweet to get me this,” she says with that look in her eyes. The look that tells me I’ve made her happier than she thought I would. “Thank you,” she adds and plants a small kiss on my shoulder.
I didn’t mind. Truthfully, I couldn’t sleep either. I felt her leave, the absence of her warmth the moment she left the bed. For such a graceful woman, she’s not very quiet getting out of bed.
I gave her a few minutes to see what she would do. I peeked in the doorway as she got lost in her words. Watching as she sat cross-legged on the sofa, leaning over and scribbling like mad. It wasn’t until she started to cry that I came into the room. I thought she needed me. I thought it was about him.
But she said they were happy tears, like closure. I don’t know why that hurts me more.
“No problem, I wanted to get out anyway.”
“Did you go for a run?” she asks me, eating the last of the ice cream and facing me. I shake my head no. I don’t have time for that right now. Usually she’s in bed when I run and then shower.
“It’s my fault?” she asks and scrunches her nose, not liking that she’s thrown off my routine.
“It doesn’t matter,” I tell her. And it truly doesn’t. “I’ll make it up later tonight.”
She hums a small sound and then adjusts on the sofa.
She straddles me on the sofa, a leg on either side of mine until she settles into my lap. I let my hands rest on her ass cheeks as she drops the empty bowl and spoon beside us on the sofa, the spoon clinking as she shoves them further away.
“Mr. Thatcher,” she says as she wraps her arms around my neck and squares her shoulders, “I do believe you’re going to be late today.”
I smirk at her, looking at the clock behind her first to be sure she’s lost her damn mind, and she has. I have at least another hour before I need to get going. “I think you may be mistaken, sweetheart,” I tell her.
She rocks her hot pussy against me and gives me a smoldering look. It’s one I don’t get often, one full of confidence and determination. But fuck, when she does give it to me, it drives me wild.
“You need your exercise, Mr. Thatcher.” She drops her voice low and slides the straps to her silk nightgown down, exposing her plump breasts. They’re small, but fit perfectly in my hand.
My dick stirs in my pants and I sit farther back on the sofa, rocking my hips and making her gasp as she reaches out to steady herself by clinging to me.
My hands wrap around her small waist as she kisses my jaw. I don’t know when it happened, but my control has waned with Jules. And I fucking love it.
This is such a fucking mess. A beautiful mess.
Chapter 20
Julia
Happy is relative,
An emotion in time.
Guilt waits in shadows,
Makes you pay for your crime.
When push comes to shove,
And the two have to meet.
You’ll be judged, never loved,
It’s all bittersweet.
I breathe in the smell of the hot coffee in my hands. It’s the best damn smell this early in the morning. That, or the smell of Mason’s pillow. I don’t know what it is about the way he smells that drives me crazy. Each morning I pull his pillow out from under him and take it as his alarm goes off.
I can’t stop the smile that spreads across my face remembering this morning how he flipped me over and “punished” me for it. This feels like more and it seems too fast, but for the first time in a long damn time, I’m happy. Genuinely happy.
“Stop smiling like that,” Maddie says across the table as she blows on her latte. She lifts the white cup to her lips and eyes me before taking a sip. The smile doesn’t fade; her comment only makes it grow larger. “You’re making me jealous.”
“That is the power of sex,” Sue says as she takes a seat, a Styrofoam cup in her hand so I imagine she’ll be leaving shortly. She sets her bag on the floor and slips onto the stool easily. “It’s about time you girls caught on and started getting some.” A coy smile lifts the corners of her lips up as she adds, “Well, except Kat since she’s married.”
Maddie laughs into her cup and Kat gives Sue a cold look for a moment and then shrugs. “He’s good at what he does,” Kat says, but we all know there have been some complaints recently in the bedroom.
Whenever Kat looks at me, it takes me down from this high. She represents what I once had and what I should really be striving for. She has a loving husband, a stable and growing career, and shit, she’s my boss really. Children are definitely in her future.
I set my cup down on the table and try to stop being… jealous. Is it jealousy? How can it be when I am enjoying getting lost in Mason’s touch?
I’m being reckless. That’s what it really comes down to. For the first time in my life, I don’t have a set plan, and I’m being fucking stupid.
“Is it weird?” Maddie asks me as she crumples Kat’s straw wrapper on the table. She has both hands on it, balling up the small white paper into a perfect sphere. “Like since you were only with Jace?” she adds, and then peers up at me, gauging my reaction.
The mention of his name… fuck. It still affects me. I think it always will.
“Yeah, kinda. At first.
” I take a sip of coffee and hate that there’s a comparison at all. “I feel like it’s cheating on him,” I croak out, my chest feeling tight.
“Um no, that’s what he did to you,” Sue says with a firm voice that grabs my attention. She rests a hand on my forearm. “Moving on is not cheating.” She purses her lips with her eyes on me as if she doesn’t know whether or not she should say what’s on her mind.
“Say it.” My voice is strong. I just want to get it out there, like pulling off a Band-Aid. Even if it hurts, I need to hear it.
“I worry about you and Mason. It doesn’t have a damn thing to do with Jace.” She waves her hand through the air as she shakes her head once and then continues. “You know I never liked him much, especially after hurting you.” Cheating. After cheating on me. That’s what she means. We’d only ever been with each other. His explanation was that he was curious, and it was a mistake. And so I forgave him. We moved past that together. Sue never did but it wasn’t her marriage, and it wasn’t her decision.
“Why are you worried?” I ask her, running my nails along the edge of the cup and removing the thoughts of that infidelity from my mind. “It’s nothing serious.” I bite the inside of my cheek; even to me that sounded like a fucking lie.
“That right there,” Sue leans back and points her finger at me. “I worry that you don’t know what casual dating is or a fuckbuddy, or whatever this is for Mason.”
I struggle with the confession, but I have to be honest with them. They may have their opinions and stick their noses where they don’t belong, but they always have my best interests at heart. I clear my throat and spit it out. “He said he could give me more.”
“What?” Maddie pipes up, scooting her stool closer to the table. Her pink cardigan is pulled down tight across her dress as she leans forward and asks, “What did he mean by ‘more’?”
Imperfect (Sins and Secrets Series of Duets Book 1) Page 10
