Table of Contents
Letting Go
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Readers May Also Like
Letting Go
Copyright © 2017 by Morningstar Ashley
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or in any means–by electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise–without prior written permission, except in the case of the brief quotations embodied in the critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. Please purchase only authorized electronic or print editions and do not participate in or encourage the electronic piracy of copyrighted material. Your support of the author’s rights is appreciated.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.
Edited by Pamela Manion Ebeler
Proofing by Judy’s Proofreading
Formatter Champagne Formatting
Cover Art by Jay Aheer
First Edition, July 2017
* * *
Trademarks
The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of the following wordmarks mentioned in this work of fiction:
Disney: Beauty and the Beast
Minecraft: Microsoft Corporation
1968 Chevy C 15: General Motors Company
Shopkins: Moose Toys
Apizza Scholls
Table of Contents
Letting Go
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
About the Author
Readers May Also Like
Meredith King, I’m forever grateful that we found each other in our vast online community and that you became one of my closest friends and one of the loudest members of my cheer section. Without you I would not be here, without your encouraging words, without your belief in me I would never have gotten up the confidence to take that leap.
Thank you, my friend.
To anyone who struggles every day with a mental health issue…
Your illness doesn’t make you weak…
You are stronger than you think…
You will wake up tomorrow to face another day…
You are not damaged…
You are perfect just as you are…
Mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s time we started talking about it.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
“Alex, I’m home!”
Alex jumped, banging his knee on the bottom of his desk, “Son of a bitch!” Evie was always good for a heart attack. Before he could even get up Evie’s voice rang out again.
“Alex?!”
Evie stomped loudly toward his room, the girl walked like she was the size of an elephant. She, in fact, weighed less than sixty pounds.
“I’m in here! And what’s with all the yelling?”
He stood, trying to work the pain out of his knee as Evie reached the door. Sometimes when he looked at her, it shocked him to realize how big she’d gotten. His mind still seeing her as a three-year-old, rather than the almost nine-year-old she was.
Unlike Alex, whose deep brown hair was like their dad’s, Evie took after their mom. She had the same strawberry blonde hair and golden-brown eyes. Alex thought they were beautiful, especially compared to his chocolate brown eyes. Evie also had freckles covering the pale skin of her nose and cheeks. She was beautiful, even if she was a brat.
Evie glanced down at his leg where his hand was holding his knee. “Alex, are you limping? You must be getting old,” she said with her trademark Evie-smirk.
You are a terrible and mischievous child who needs to be tickled until you scream.
“I’m not old, you little twerp! I’m injured because you screamed like someone was murdering you when you walked in the door. Anyway, why are you doing that?”
“Oh yeah! Guess what?”
Alex could only imagine what made her so happy. That level of happy wasn’t a typical thing for Evie to come home from school with. “Hmm, you discovered the cure for cancer?” Alex loved those guessing games with Evie; he usually picked the most outrageous things and asked them until she was both annoyed and laughing at him.
“Alex! Dude, be serious! Take a real guess.”
“Dude? You want me to be serious and yet you call me dude?” Evie gave him a withering look that he didn’t think most eight-year-olds could pull off.
“Fine. They let you be a teacher for the day?”
“Ugh! No and stop it! Serious guesses only, please. You are now on a timer for being a butt.”
“Whoa! A timer? I’m scared. How much time do I have? And can I rapid fire guesses and you stop me when I get it right?” Alex knew he was goading Evie to get huffy with him, but he found fun where he could. What else were big brothers for?
“No, you cannot rapid fire guesses! Come on!” Evie dragged out the on for emphasis, stomping her foot.
“Okay, you got an A in PE?”
“No, but that would’ve been awesome cuz PE sucks.” Evie pouted because she and PE did not get along. She got straight A’s in all her classes but ask her to throw a ball into a basket, and she failed every time.
That might be because of her height. Unlike Alex who was just above average height for a guy, Evie was just below average for a girl. She didn’t mind. PE was not where she wanted to excel.
&n
bsp; “Last guess, Alex. Make it a good one.” She smiled that evil child smile again. Alex never trusted that smile. He may call her “sweet girl,” but she had an evil streak a mile wide.
“Hmmm, I don’t know…your teacher sent a note home that you were hugging everyone uncontrollably?” Alex couldn’t help but laugh at the look Evie gave him. “Okay, I really haven’t a clue, so you might as well tell me or my guesses will get worse.”
Alex stared in wonder as Evie’s speech tumbled out so fast she didn’t even take a breath. “Well, you remember when I told you my teacher was getting together that play through school last week? I wasn’t going to do it because there is no way I could stand up in front of all those people. But then you did that whole super encouraging speech that ended in you running around the apartment screaming ‘Let’s go, Evie, let’s go!’ like a madman?”
Alex started to laugh because Evie, even alone with him in the apartment, had become so embarrassed she ran to her room and locked Alex out. Not that it stopped me. “Oh yeah, that was fun! Want to do it again?” Alex waggled his eyebrows at her trying to get her to be silly with him, but she didn’t take the bait.
“No, please don’t.” Evie was shaking her head at him, but he knew she secretly liked the crazy things Alex did. “I did it, Alex. I talked to my teacher, and Mrs. Dalton said she was happy I was going to try out, and I got a part. I really got one!” Evie said it so quietly and with so much awe in her voice that for a moment Alex was sure he hadn’t heard her correctly.
She got a part. She got a part! She’s going to actually do it! That’s huge!
“Wow, Evie…that’s…so freaking awesome!! I am so proud of you!” Evie’s face lit up so bright they could’ve turned off all the lights and still been able to see. Alex wrapped his arms around her, picking her up for the biggest, tightest hug. He squeezed so hard Evie started to make choking sounds.
“Alex…can’t breathe…” Evie laughed which to Alex was the best sound in the world. “You can put me down now. Besides you didn’t even ask what part.” Alex put her down and looked down at Evie with a huge smile on his face.
“Okay spill it, Evie, what’s the part? Oh, and what’s the play? I don’t think I remember that part.” Alex was so happy for her. Evie had made so much progress in the past three years, and that was just one more thing to prove it. Her anxiety disorder improved a lot over the years; she had good days and bad. The bad days could send her into a tailspin of panic attacks, night terrors, and episodes where it was like she was living that terrible day all over again, but thankfully, those days happened less and less as time went by.
“It’s a play called ‘Beauty is the Beast’, and I play the king!” Alex could swear Evie’s chest puffed up at that last part which made him want to laugh, but he held it back. The girl deserved to feel proud.
Then he realized what she said. “Wait, you play the king? No princess or queen?”
“No, the king! Alex, you know girls can play whatever parts boys can play!”
Alex could hear the change in her tone as she placed her hands on her hips, admonishing him. When will I learn? Because of course, girls could play the king.
“You’re right, I’m sorry. I’m sure you will make a great king. You rule this house pretty well already.” Alex said that last part, trying to get to her laugh, and was happy it worked. “You meant Beauty and the Beast, right?”
“Nope! This is Beauty is the Beast, and I play the king who is Beauty’s father. I even get to crown the queen of the ball! And guess what? It isn’t the beautiful princess! Isn’t that awesome? It’s not a huge part, but it’s a good part.”
“Huh? What is this play about?”
“It’s about this princess named Beauty who is mean and selfish, and her fairy godmother makes her invisible to teach her a lesson.”
“That actually sounds interesting. I’m so proud of you. Give me a high five!” Evie stared at him like he’d lost his mind and didn’t move to give him a high five. What’s wrong with high fives? Lowering his hand, he asked, “Okay, so when is this play?”
“It’s in like two months I think. There’s like lots of other parts. Lots of stage stuff that has to be made. We have plenty of time to practice at school, after school, and at home too!”
Alex was glad it made her so happy. Evie had been doing much better. Alex was always waiting for the other shoe to drop and for things to return to the way they were three years earlier or even last year. His life had never been easy. “Okay, well you tell me your schedule, and we will make it work. And if you want me to, I can play whatever part so that you can practice your part at home too. Alright?”
“Yeah, okay, old man.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that twenty-seven is not old!”
“I know, but you keep calling me ‘sweet girl,’ which you know I hate. So, every time you call me that I will call you old man.” He saw the “I gotcha” grin on the girl’s face and knew he’d been beaten. She was just too smart.
“Fine. You win. Go put your stuff away and bring your homework out here so we can start working on it. Ben is coming over for dinner and you know we won’t have time to get to it once he gets here.”
“Okay, be right back!” Evie yelled and went running down the short hallway to her bedroom.
Once Evie came back out of her room, they sat at the dining room table and got to work. Evie was super smart. Smart enough that she should be in fourth grade instead of third but socially it would hurt her more, due to her mental health, than help her. So, the teachers made modifications to her school work to challenge her.
Alex had always felt like he was just holding her back when he tried to help, but she insisted she needed him. He was sure it was her way of making sure he felt needed but they chugged on through like every night.
“Alright, so what are you working on tonight?”
“I have math homework, my art project still needs some more work, and I have to read for thirty minutes.”
“I know I am going to regret asking this question but what math do you have tonight?” Alex hated math, Evie loved it. He was concerned for her sanity.
“I don’t want to tell you because then you won’t want to help me.” Evie had that less than innocent grin back on her face. The one that instantly told Alex what math it was.
“Ugh! Why do you torture me with this stuff?” He not-so-gently put his head on the table groaning and mumbling about the evils of math as Evie giggled next to him. Which only furthered his belief that she must hate him.
“It’s not so bad. It’s only fractions. You can do it.”
“No, you can do it. I can look on, being inspired and concerned about where you came from.”
“Fine just sit and rest, old man. You can help me with the art project since you’re the creative one.”
“Sounds like a plan to me. Work your wonders, evil child!” And she was off giggling again as she started to work on the nasty fractions and Alex pulled out his computer to work on one of his projects for work.
But just like earlier that day, when Ben called and interrupted him, he couldn’t seem to concentrate on what was in front of him. Ben seemed to have a sixth sense to always call when it was the perfect time to annoy him, but Ben did have a valid point that it had been at least two weeks since they’d seen each other.
Alex wasn’t the best at keeping in contact.
They traded barbs then Ben announced he was bringing take-out for dinner tonight, which was good because Alex couldn’t cook unless it was using a microwave.
Sometimes Alex felt like he’d just been blown over by a tornado when talking to Ben. But really, it was what he loved about the man. Ben never let him get away with being a shit and it annoyed Alex that he’d taught Evie to do the same thing.
Evie finished her math, thankfully without him, but needed his help on her art project. And once again life took over and his work got pushed aside. But nothing was more fun than doing those things with her. Before long all he
r work was done and it was almost time for Ben to arrive for dinner.
“Okay, you clean all this stuff up and put it in your room. We still have about thirty-five minutes before butthead arrives with food.”
“Alright. Can I call Ivy and talk to her until Ben gets here?”
“Yeah, but make sure that room of yours is clean before that. I saw some clothes on the floor next to the hamper earlier.” As smart as she was, she was also a very messy kid.
Glaring at him she grumbled a fine and walked off with her stuff, going into her room down the hall. Alex knew he needed to buckle down to work on his current project until his best friend got there so he opened his computer back up and got down to it.
When the doorbell rang thirty minutes later, Evie was still in her room. “Hey, kid, Ben’s here. Get off the phone!”
Alex walked over to the door and peered through the peephole to see Ben standing there with his tongue out. Shaking his head at his best friend’s antics, he opened the door.
Ben was the same height as Alex but much more muscular. He was a little obsessed with going to the gym. Ben always said that just because he was no longer playing a sport didn’t mean he couldn’t still look the part.
They were opposites in nearly every way. Ben had blonde hair to Alex’s deep brown, Ben had pale skin that burned whenever he spent any significant amount of time outside, where Alex had honey tanned skinned that he’d inherited from his father.
“Why do you have to act like such a kid? And what’s with you not being able to keep your tongue in your mouth?” Alex stepped back and opened the door wide to allow Ben inside. He shut the door and then followed Ben into the dining room.
“What is the fun of acting like an adult when I have to do that at work all day long? And besides, it’s not like it was anyone special on the other side of the door, just you.” Ben looked over his shoulder at Alex and winked, putting the food he’d brought with him on the table. Alex continued past him to the kitchen to get the plates, silverware, and cups they needed to eat as Ben gave Evie a hug.
He walked back to the table setting the paper plates and stuff down while Ben unpacked the take-out bags.
Letting Go Page 1
