Zeke
Gracie gets bigger and bigger every day. I just love to watch the cute little waddle of her walk. We had our first argument and of all things it was over the color and decorations of the nursery. We found out that we are in fact, having a boy. I wanted to go camo and rustic, but she wanted baby blue with clouds and shit.
As you might guess, on the way to get the baby blue paint, I stopped and picked up flowers. I left angry that she wouldn’t even hear me out, but then realized, it’s a fucking color. Who really cares?
It’s not important enough to have her upset over it, but I will have a discussion concerning how I feel. I want to at least be heard. It’s the first time I’ve felt like my opinion didn’t matter to her.
It’s June and the temperature is starting to get hot. I know the heat is affecting Gracie, too. I mean I can’t imagine what it would be like to be carrying a life inside you, plus, having to deal with hot temps.
I walk through the door carrying the cans of paint and flowers to see Gracie sitting on the couch crying. She jumps up and waddles over to me. Throwing her arms around my neck, she sobs out a sorry.
“Sweet girl, it’s okay. It’s only a color. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad over it,” I say, kissing her temple.
My hands are still full so I can’t move or hug her back. She steps back and allows me to put the cans down. I extend my hand with the flowers and she smiles but ignores them and folds herself into my arms.
“I didn’t mean to not listen to what you wanted. I just got this image in my head and didn’t want you to talk me out of it. After you left, I realized how selfish I was being. This is your son, too. I’m sorry,” Gracie says, doing her normal tuck of her head under my chin.
“The fact that you get that is enough. Now we don’t have to have that talk at least,” I say, rubbing her back.
“I love you and I am sorry. I think we can make both work, maybe? Make the ceiling look like a sky, like I wanted, and add stuff to the walls to make it look like a cute little forest?” she ends in a question.
“Now that’s an idea I can live with,” I respond.
Gracie
I can’t believe I acted like a child. I had this image of what I wanted in my head and didn’t even consider listening to Zeke’s ideas.
He’s never raised his voice to me, and I could tell he was trying not to and was holding back his anger. But I felt it rolling off him. As soon as the front door slammed, the tears started to flow.
When he walked through the door with paint that I knew would be baby blue and flowers, I felt even worse. Here he was going to apologize when I was the one who was in the wrong.
It was as simple as just compromising. In the end, that’s what I did and things went back to normal. He wiped the tears from my eyes and waddled with me into the kitchen so I could put the flowers in a vase.
We order pizza and eat it on the couch watching TV. Zeke ends up pulling my feet up on his lap and rubs them for me. I don’t have ankles any longer. I have those dreaded cankles. I feel like I’m big as a house, but Zeke always seems to know when to compliment me or say how beautiful I am.
He also constantly has a hand on my belly and talks to the baby. I still have to pinch myself sometimes to ensure it’s all real. The first time he felt the baby move, I was almost overwhelmed. The pure look of awe on his face was something I’ll remember forever.
This little guy is constantly moving, too. I feel like he is using my internal organs as punching bags. I feel like I could fall asleep as Zeke continues to massage my feet. Until I get kicked or punched in the bladder. I scurry to my feet as fast as I can and waddle to the bathroom. I hear Zeke chuckling behind me. It’s weird on how amused he is over how I walk.
I’m on the downslide with only three more weeks left. I have an appointment tomorrow morning to see where exactly I’m at and to just check that everything is on track.
Zeke has a bag packed already and has it sitting by the front door. He’s the one that seems to be bouncing these days. We have everything for the nursey all set up, but I decided I wanted to change the paint color. I don’t want to think about that again, though.
I’m washing my hands when I get sharp pain. It feels like someone is stabbing me in the back. I know that Akia had Braxton Hicks towards the end of her pregnancy, but I don’t remember her saying they were much more than small cramps. This was definitely more than just a cramp. I take a deep breath and place my hands on the sink. The pain subsides so I proceed to go back to the living room.
Akia was correct in her predictions, by the way. She had a beautiful baby girl. I got to watch her one afternoon and loved every minute of it. She was completely calm and sweet the whole time. I don’t know if I’m going to be that lucky based on Zeke and my personalities.
I make it to the couch and that pain hits me again making me bend over. Zeke gets up and straddles the chaise lounge, pulling me down in front of him. I have my hands on my knees and I’m doing that breathing thing I learned in Lamaze. Zeke is rubbing my back and I can hear that he’s called the doctor.
“Hi, this is Zeke Boyd. Gracie just had what I think may have been a contraction…” he says. I hold up two fingers not quite able to talk. “…make that two.”
“She was just in the bathroom so I’m not sure, but it probably takes her a minute or two to get from there to the living room,” he says, still rubbing my back.
“Okay…yeah we have a bag packed. Sure…thanks, Doc. Well, she says that we should start timing them, if they really are contractions. She’s concerned that they seem to be so close already, but if they continue to occur within five minutes of each other and last longer than a minute, we should come to the hospital. She also says to come immediately if your water breaks, of course,” he says with excitement in his voice.
I finally get my breath and lean back against him. He places both hands on my belly and I immediately feel a hard kick.
“I think he may be ready to get out of there. He’s been kicking more than normal today. Whew, that hurts. I sure hope these are contractions, because if they aren’t, I don’t want to feel a real one,” I say. “This is really comfortable, but I’m afraid that my water might break and I really don’t want to ruin this couch. I love this couch.” I sigh just as another pain shoots through me, making me bend back over.
“Okay, that was less than five minutes. Tell me when the pain stops. I’ve got the timer going on my phone,” he says, wiggling out from behind me, standing and jogging to the kitchen.
I reach down and stop the timer at thirty seconds once the pain stops. I start laughing as Zeke comes back from the kitchen with garbage bags in his hands.
“Just in case,” he says shrugging his shoulder. He helps me stand and places the bags over the seat of the couch and sets me back on. He then goes back to straddling behind me.
“Only thirty seconds. Damn that hurts,” I say, snuggling back against Zeke.
This continues for the next hour. The contractions are consistent and don’t seem to be getting closer, but Zeke wants to call the doctor again to check.
“She says to come on in, babe, and she’ll meet us there,” he yells as he runs into the kitchen. I hear him pound on Pam’s door and yell, “Baby is coming! We are heading to the hospital.”
I hear her yell back to go ahead that she’ll call Bruce as he comes running back. As he helps me to my feet, I feel a gush between my legs.
“I think my water just broke,” I say, looking down and back up to Zeke.
“Okay, we got this. Everything is going to be okay,” he says as he disappears up the steps.
“Zeke, you are going the wrong way,” I yell.
He comes down the steps holding a pair of sweat pants. I realize that he got me something clean to change into. How awesome is this man?
He helps me out of my wet leggings and helps me slip on the sweat pants. “Thank you. I don’t know what I did to deserve a man like you, but you are amazing.”
He
gets me secured in the truck as another contraction hits me. Within seconds, he’s in the truck rubbing my back and flying down the driveway.
“Let’s go have us a baby.”
Zeke
I hate seeing her in pain, but I can’t help my excitement. I’m going to be meeting my son soon. I just hope she’s not in labor forever.
In between timing her contractions, I was searching the internet to make sure there isn’t going to be any issues with her or the baby since she’s three weeks early.
From what I can see, the lungs should already be developed so I’m not worried. I wish I could do something to take away the pain, though.
Everything progresses very quickly once we get to the hospital. It was a total blur, even though it was still a few hours before my son entered the world.
At eleven twenty-one, Luke Matthew Boyd came kicking and screaming his head off into the world. Weighing six pounds three ounces, he was the tiniest, most beautiful little boy. The doctor joked that he’s lungs were definitely fine and I had to agree. For being so tiny, he could certainly make a lot of noise.
I wipe the sweat off Gracie’s forehead and give her a kiss. “Thank you. He’s incredible. You did so well. Do you need anything?”
“Just to hold him. I want to see him. Is he okay? He certainly sounds okay,” she says with a smile.
“He’s perfect and definitely my boy. This kid is hung,” I say, joking and puffing out my chest.
“Only you,” she laughs.
“Hey, that’s pretty important to a man you know. He’s going to be a lady killer,” I say, looking over as they finish cleaning him up and wrapping him in a blanket.
I sit on the side of the bed and wrap one arm around Gracie’s shoulders, pulling her against me. A nurse brings a still screaming Luke over and places him in Gracie’s arms.
Instantly, he goes quiet and starts smacking his lips. I stare in amazement as Gracie pulls out a breast and see Luke latch on and start sucking. To see this instant connection is absolutely the most incredible thing I’ve ever witnessed. With a kiss to her head and a squeeze of her shoulder, I place a hand on my son’s head as he goes to town feeding. I get a lump in my throat and try to swallow it down.
Gracie
Holy crap did that hurt. As soon as Zeke sits down and takes me in his arms, the pain starts to subside. When little Luke is placed in my arms and stops screaming, I feel nothing but complete love. I see him smacking his lips and instinct seems to take over. Latching on, he starts eating and if there was any tinge of pain left, it’s completely gone.
Zeke pulls me in closer and places a hand on Luke’s head. Nothing could be better than this moment right here. Zeke was right, Luke is absolutely perfect. He has a little bit of fuzz on his head that looks to be between my color and Zeke’s.
I laugh as Luke stops feeding and lets out a huge yawn and makes a face. I place him on my shoulder and pat his back and he burps and farts at the same time.
“He’s definitely your son,” I say, laughing.
Our parents walk in with Pam, who they get situated in one of the chairs. I hand Luke over to Zeke and he immediately knows what I’m silently asking him to do.
Walking over to Pam, he places Luke in her arms with an introduction. “Great Gram Pam, meet Luke Matthew.”
She raises him up and places a soft kiss on his sleeping head. “Hello there, little man. I’m going to spoil the hell out of you.” Her aged and crooked fingers run over his still flushed cheeks.
I can’t stop the tears. This is such an incredible moment. My adopted grandmother holding my son with such tenderness. I’m so happy to see Zeke take out his phone and take several pictures to capture this moment.
Zeke
They sure do push you out of the hospital quick these days. We were only in there for a total of twenty-four hours before they were wheeling Gracie and Luke out the front door.
We get home and get Luke settled in. I knew that having a newborn was not going to be easy, but damn, I didn’t expect the house to be filled with a constant stream of crying. The only time he seems to not scream is when he’s feeding or sleeping. Unfortunately, he’s only sleeping a few hours at a time. My mom joked that he is exactly like me and that pay backs are a bitch. Everyone keeps that same mantra up about him being my mini me.
I’m on paternity leave, but I still put in a few hours in my home office. I was working a case before the birth that I can’t let go. I thought the cases in Texas were rough. Being so close to D.C., I’ve had some really tough ones.
I don’t think of myself as being that guy who is constantly horny. However, knowing we have to wait to have sex seems to cause me to have a constant painful erection. I can take care of it myself, but man it’s just not the same as the feeling of being inside of Gracie
I shut down my computer and notice that the house appears to be quiet. I let out a sigh of relief and lean my head back in my office chair and close my eyes.
My hand drifts down between my legs and I palm myself through my sweat pants. Lifting the elastic, I slide my hand inside taking myself into my hand.
I feel her before I see her as my chair spins to the side. Gracie smiles as she bends over giving me a kiss with all lips and tongue. I feel myself grow harder in my hand. She uses the arms of the chair to lower herself to her knees. She runs her hands down my chest and to the waistband of my pants, pulling them down. I raise up a little to allow her to move them over my ass and down over my knees. I start stroking myself faster.
I throw my head back and let out a groan when I feel her lips wrap around the tip. It’s still not the same as being deep inside her, but it’s still her and it’s still her mouth.
I silently pray that she does that special thing that she does to me, and I feel her hand slip down and cup my balls. I feel them tighten as she massages my ass with her finger. When she breaches the opening, I slam both hands down on the arm of the chair and try not to thrust up. I feel that familiar tingle run down my spine as she continues to go down on me and slowly move her finger in and out of my ass.
I place my hand softly on the top of her head and push her down for her to take me further into her mouth. The guttural growl that comes out of me is almost scary as I let loose and empty myself down her throat. She removes her hand from between my legs and gives me one final lick and suck. The tingle shoots through me and I can’t take it anymore. I reach down and grab her under her armpits and pull her up onto my lap.
“Damn, sweet girl, that was amazing. Thank you. I didn’t realize how much I needed that,” I say, giving her a kiss.
“Babe, I can understand completely. I can’t believe we have to wait so long to have sex. Right now, it feels like my nether regions are on fire though,” she says, pulling my head to her chest.
“We can’t have sex, but you just proved that we can do other things,” I say, wiggling my eyebrows. “I can suck on your clit for a while.”
“You’ll have to give me a while to heal. I can’t even imagine you anywhere near there right now. I’ll be fine,” she says, laughing.
Just at that moment we hear the familiar cries of Luke through the whole house.
“I got him. He’s hungry, I’m sure,” Gracie says, standing.
“I’ll go with you. I’ll change him first. I’m sure he’s got a dirty diaper as well,” I respond.
We get ourselves situated and climb the steps hand in hand. I lift Luke out of his crib and proceed to change his diaper as Gracie situates herself in the rocking chair. After I hand him over and he dives in, I sit on the floor and watch her feed my son. I don’t think I’ll ever stop thinking that this is the most beautiful thing a mother can do for her child.
Every two hours we run upstairs and go through the same routine. I change him and hand him over for Gracie to feed him. I take a seat on the floor with my back against the dresser and just watch them. It truly is a beautiful sight.
We finally get him settled and asleep and both drag ourselves to b
ed. It feels like I just laid my head down when the cries echo off the walls. I know he’s not hungry but he may need to be changed. I tell Gracie to stay and sleep. She mumbles out a thank you and rolls over.
I go into Luke’s room and lift him out of the crib. He definitely has a full diaper, so I clean him up and get him into a new one. I was told that a father needs to bond with their kid and skin to skin is normally the best way. He’s lying on the changing table in just his new diaper, so I slip my shirt over my head. His still fussing and wide awake as I pick him up and press him against my chest. It’s almost three in the morning, and I’m exhausted. I would give anything for him to fall back to sleep.
I sit down in the rocking chair. We are bare chest to bare chest. I place a gentle kiss to the top of his head and start singing softly. His cries soften as I rock and sing. I feel as he takes a deep breath and lets out a little whimper on the exhale, but he goes completely limp in my arms. I continue to softly sing to him when I see Gracie appear in the doorway. She leans her head against the door jamb and smiles. I’m afraid to stop rocking and singing. So, I continue but now I’m singing to Gracie. I sing a song called “Sleeping Beauty” and I see a tear fall from her eye. There’s a part where it says that I hope your dreams come true and she nods her head.
Finding Solace (The Finding Series Book 4) Page 18
