by Helena Halme
‘In case some old cow is sitting and spying on us,’ he said and looked back at Pia.
After the classrooms there was a wide bit of the red brick wall with no windows. This is where Heikki stopped and turned Pia’s back against the wall. Pia could taste the cigarettes in Heikki’s breath. His lips were as soft as they had been the night of the party. There was a strange sensation in the pit of her stomach. She wanted to melt into him. Heikki’s tongue became more persistent, getting deeper into her mouth, exploring every bit it could reach. Pia pulled back – she needed air.
‘Heikki,’ Pia started, but he’d put his hands inside Pia’s jacket and started kissing her again. This time he was gentler. Pia was glad he had hold of her waist. She could have fainted out of happiness.
Heikki was moving his hands further up; then he pushed them inside Pia’s jumper. His touch felt cold against her bare flesh. With one hand, Heikki undid Pia’s bra.
Pia pulled back out of Heikki’s grasp. ‘Not here!’
Heikki took a step back and put his hands into his jeans pockets. His eyes were dark. ‘I need to talk to you about something.’
‘What?’ Pia was struggling with both of her hands to redo the bra. ‘What is it?’
‘The Tournament’
‘What about it?’ Finally she got the hook and the eyelet to meet.
‘I don’t think you should do it.’
Pia looked at Heikki. His lips were smaller and pinched together, as if he was trying not to breathe. What did Heikki have to do with the Friendship Tournament? Pia was confused. Then she heard the shrill sound of the bell.
‘Listen, Pia, don’t get involved in this. It’s dangerous!’ Heikki said. But Pia was already running round the building. Being found smoking (though she hadn’t smoked!) would put an end to her gymnastic career at the school. Miss Joutila was dead against smoking. And The Old Crow had told them that being found behind the fence would result in suspension. Being unable to go to school was the last thing Pia needed. It would also mean she’d not see Heikki every day. Pia ducked underneath the windows and finally reached the hole in the chicken wire. Just before they entered the school, Heikki caught Pia’s arm and said, ‘I mean it Pia, the trophy’s not worth it!’ His grasp was firm. Even through her thick jacket, it hurt. His face was serious and his eyes dark. Suddenly, he let go and casually walked through the door without looking back.
* * *
Leena wasn’t herself. She was nervous and worried. Perhaps it was just the time of the year: there was something infinitely depressing about February. The days were short and grey and the nights drew in early in the afternoon. From her office window she saw the snow piled high on both sides of the road. It had turned into a grimy charcoal colour from the traffic fumes. Leena couldn’t remember when she last had a glimpse of the sun. She sighed. Perhaps it was the hopelessness of the situation. In spite of Vadi’s optimism, Leena could not see how the Lyceum would have any chance of winning the Friendship Trophy. The competition would be a humiliation.
Absentmindedly she scanned the schoolyard. That’s when she saw him. A man was standing on the edge of the car park with his hands in his pockets. He didn’t look like he belonged there. He looked foreign and cold. His crop of thick black hair was uncovered. Who was he and what was he dong there in the middle of the day, watching the school building?
A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.
‘You wanted to see me, Miss?’
Pia stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame.
‘Stand up straight, girl, and come in.’ Leena turned to face Pia Mäkelä. Would she, as Vadi had assured her, prove to be the most talented gymnast at the school? She had the same build as Vadi’s daughter, though she was slightly heavier. Could she lose a few kilos and be trained up in time? Leena doubted it. Yet she had agreed to the selection. In truth she had done so rashly. She now regretted her weakness in the face of Vadi’s persuasiveness. Though what did it matter? It certainly wouldn’t matter for him. But Leena couldn’t help being ambitious. She couldn’t just think of the future and not give a damn about the Lyceum. She was too used to doing the best she could for these ungrateful girls. And she was too used to being independent. She’d been on her own for years. Unmarried at the age of forty-four, how could she suddenly put her trust in a man? Put her future in his hands? Yet that’s exactly what she had done. And now here she was, the result of this foolish trust, standing in front of her, with false hope in her eyes.
‘Pia, you heard the announcement.’
‘Yes, Miss, thank you.’
‘We have a lot of work to do and very little time. You realise that?’
‘Yes’
‘Starting from tomorrow, you will come to training at 12.30 without fail. We will also do a day-long session on Saturdays as normal. The Tournament is this coming Monday. The smaller girls will also be there. It will be hard work. Are you up to it?’
‘Yes, I am.’ The girl sounded confident. She’d been listening to Leena with a serious face, nodding in agreement to everything Leena said. Perhaps she would come good after all. Leena stood up and showed Pia out of the office. She went up to the window again and peered out. What she saw startled her and suddenly chilled her. She pulled her cardigan closer over her body and her arms tightly around her waist as she watched the man walk up to Pia Mäkelä. It was obvious the two knew each other, though Pia seemed to behave as insolently towards the man as she usually did towards all the staff at the school. How would Pia know a foreign man? Couldn’t be her father, surely? Leena hurried to the telephone. She dialled the number of the Soviet Embassy.
‘What you phone here? I told you not phone here!’ Vadi said in his soft, broken Finnish. Leena blushed. She had behaved childishly and now he would get in trouble.
She couldn’t remember being told not to phone the Embassy.
‘Sorry, it’s just…’
‘What?’ Vadi said impatiently.
‘I’ve seen something.’
There was silence at the other end.
* * *
Leena went home via the K-shop on the corner of Töölöntori. She was going to cook Vadi a borscht soup. She’d found a Russian recipe book in the school library. The raw beetroot would take a while to cook, so she flung her coat on the bed and headed for the alcoved kitchen. At the end of the small space was a window overlooking the inner courtyard. On Saturday mornings she often saw carpets being beaten on the mattoteline, a structure designed just for the task. Puffs of dust would go up from stripey, brightly coloured mats as a woman in a housecoat took a cane beater to the woven fabric. Now the courtyard was empty, the ground, the structure and the dustbins covered with a layer of snow. The light had almost faded, at only three-thirty. Briefly Leena wondered why the caretaker hadn’t cleared a path to the bins. Perhaps the tired-looking man was hung over again, she thought. As she chopped the vegetables, Leena shuddered at the thought of having to talk to him. He was no older than Leena, but years of alcohol abuse had made his face the dull colour of brick. His hands were shaky and his body wiry. Unlike Vadi! How clever she’d been to suggest a meeting in her flat to discuss the Friendship Tournament and her observations at the school. Leena knew that once Vadi was inside, and she’d given him vodka followed by a hot bowl of soup and some good bread, he’d not be able to leave. He’d stay. Once again she’d feel his strong, muscular body against her own, his thighs against hers, his hardness inside her, his arms pinning her against the bed as he exploded powerfully. Watching him reach climax was as good as reaching orgasm herself. She never minded that she had to take care of herself after he’d left.
* * *
Vadi was wearing a long black coat Leena hadn’t seen before. He had a large briefcase in his hand as he pushed past her into the flat.
‘So, tell me everything,’ Vadi said as he flung his coat onto her bed and sat down. Leena noticed he was wearing a suit, with trousers that seemed too short for him. They made his feet look even larger.
‘Would you like a drink?’
‘Ah, you women, why not!’ Now there was a smile. Leena hurried into the kitchen and poured a large glass for Vadi and a small one for herself from the bottle of Koskenkorva she kept for his visits. Vadi emptied his glass in one go and made Leena tell, again, what she had seen from the window of the sports hall. For a while he sat quietly, silently indicating the need for a refill. When Leena offered the borscht, he shook his head and told her to be quiet. Leena sighed and emptied her glass. The vodka burned her throat, but by the time it reached her chest, she felt more relaxed and happy to be watching Vadi’s fingers run through his hair. She must make him stay.
‘I could ask the girl, Pia Mäkelä, who she was talking to?’ Leena said.
‘Njet, but you know where she lives, yes?’ The dark eyes watched Leena intently.
‘We keep addresses of all the pupils at the Lyceum.’
‘Can we get it now?’
‘No, the school is closed.’
‘Ah, Leena, this very important, very, very important.’
‘Who is this man? A Soviet spy?’
‘You must have keys to school, yes?’
Leena was quiet. She didn’t keep any keys, they were for Mrs Härmänmaa only, but she might be able to get to the school via the sports hall. But what if someone found out? What if the Head or another teacher were working late? Leena had never worked late at the school, she didn’t have to mark papers or prepare for exams. Then she suddenly remembered.
‘I know where she lives!’ she said, smiling at Vadi. ‘I know exactly where she lives! I’d forgotten. Last year I delivered her grades to her when half the school was ill with the Asian flu. Bad diet and no exercise, of course, in her case, as in many of the cases, but there you are, some people never learn.’ Leena looked up to see Vadi putting his coat back on. ‘Come, Leena, come now, quickly!’
5
It was embarrassing seeing the Admiral wait for her outside the gym hall at school, in full view of everybody. He waved his hand, gesturing for Pia to come to him when she was hurrying for her next class. She was late.
The Admiral told her to meet him at something called the British Council after school. He gave Pia detailed instructions on how to find it. When Pia didn’t say anything, the Admiral took hold of Pia’s arm and whispered, ‘We need to talk about the Tournament.’
‘Why?’
The Admiral looked uncomfortable.
‘There is something I need to tell you.’
‘What, why can’t you tell me now?’
‘It’s complicated. C’mon Pia, it’s only for half an hour or so. It may be in your interest. You want to win, don’t you?’
Pia thought for a moment, ‘Does Mum know you’re here?’
The Admiral was staring at her. But he didn’t say anything, just shrugged his shoulders. All of a sudden everybody’s interested in the Friendship Tournament. But the Admiral was right. She did want to win. ‘OK,’ Pia answered.
You need to ask in English, ‘I want to borrow an English book to improve my language grades.’ The Admiral hurried off, waving his arm. ‘See you later, Pia’.
* * *
Pia had never been to the British Council. After school she took the tram straight to Erottaja in the centre of Helsinki. When she stepped out of the lift on the fourth floor, as the Admiral instructed her to, a woman behind a wooden counter said, ‘Can I help you?’ in English. She had on a brown jacket over a cream blouse. Her hair was pinned up. She looked at Pia over her gold-rimmed glasses which had long chains attached to them. She took off the glasses and let them fall onto her chest. A green brooch rattled from the contact with the glasses, and she looked briefly at the two objects and then adjusted herself.
Pia hesitated for a bit – seeing the high shelves of books reaching far behind her, she blurted, ‘I want to borrow an English book to improve my language grades.’
‘I see,’ the woman said and walked around the counter. ‘Follow me.’
Pia felt very shabby walking behind the smartly dressed woman whose jacket was part of a suit, the narrow skirt hugging her wide hips. Pia had on her white jeans, which were a bit dirty because she’d had no time to wash them. Her white down jacket, a Christmas present from her father, was becoming a little grey too. Her corduroy school bag had a hole in one corner.
‘You put too many books in there, surely you don’t need all of that just for one day?’ her mother had said just that morning when Pia told her she needed a new one. As usual it was money that was the problem, so she hadn’t said anything more to Maija, just shrugged her shoulders.
The woman took Pia through a large room with shelves and shelves of books. There were no other people about, and when the woman opened a door at the end of the room, Pia began to feel uncomfortable. She didn’t know anything about the Admiral. Perhaps she should turn around and run out of the building? The woman stopped and let Pia continue towards a desk at the end of the room, where two men were sitting with their heads bowed. Behind them was a large window, where Pia could see the treetops of the Esplanade Park.
The men looked up as she approached. ‘Thank you, Mrs Cooper,’ one of them said in English. Pia couldn’t make out their faces very well because the light from the window was shadowing their features, but when one of them stood up, Pia saw it was the Admiral. She was relieved; at least she’d got to the right place. He was wearing a dark suit with a pink shirt and blue tie. Pia looked back to the closed door that the woman had disappeared through, and felt uneasy again.
‘Pia, sit down with us,’ the Admiral said, in English, taking hold of her arm, ‘there is someone I want you to meet.’ Pia said nothing, just looked at his hand on her arm. The fingers were long and bony, and the grip he had on her was too strong.
‘It’s OK, Pia, don’t be afraid,’ he said.
‘Speak Finnish,’ Pia said, looking squarely at his face. The Admiral widened his eyes, lifted his eyebrows and let go of Pia’s arm. He mumbled something to the other man and he laughed. Pia wondered what the hell she was doing and decided not to sit down. Would she be able to run quicker than the men? How many doors had she been led through?
‘Pia, all we want to do is talk with you,’ said the Admiral, this time in Finnish. ‘There is no danger here.’
The other man was sitting back in his chair watching Pia as the Admiral spoke. He was dressed just like the Admiral, but instead of a pink shirt he was wearing a light blue one. Their ties looked the same too.
‘Pia, this is Colonel Williams.’ The Admiral had switched back to English again.
‘How do you do, young lady.’ The man reached out his hand. It was warm and much softer than the Admiral’s. His face looked kinder too – it was round and had fewer lines on it. He had very blue eyes, peering out from behind a pair of small glasses, and almost no hair, just a rim of pale wisps around and above his ears. When he smiled, his mouth reached from ear to ear, just like a clown’s.
‘Now, the Colonel does not speak any Finnish so I will have to translate. Perhaps we can try to speak English?’ The Admiral was looking at Pia without smiling.
‘OK,’ Pia said.
‘Can I take your coat first?’ The Admiral got up and stretched his hand out.
‘Now,’ the Admiral said, sitting down again. He put his hands on the table palms down and continued, ‘This Tournament. We want to know everything you know about it.’
‘Why should I tell you?’
‘Because you know we can help.’
‘Help with what?’ Pia looked over to the Colonel. He was watching Pia and listening carefully to everything she said.
‘Help Anni.’
‘Is she in trouble? Where is she?’ Suddenly Pia couldn’t breathe.
‘She may be, we don’t know. But you must trust us. Trust me,’ The Admiral put his hand on Pia’s. She quickly pulled it away and put both of her hands on her lap. The Admiral said
nothing but leant back in his chair. He glanced quickly at the Colonel, who nodded.
‘OK, Pia, I will go first. It’s not Anni who’s in trouble. It’s her father. But because of him, she may be affected too.’
No one spoke for a long time. A loud clock was ticking somewhere in the background. She glanced at the new watch that Grandmother had given her for her birthday. It was ten past five. It would be dark outside and her mother would be home by now. During the weekdays Pia had promised to be home by six o’clock, if she wasn’t going out. Maija kept forgetting that she was an adult.
‘Please, Pia, tell us what you know of the Linnonmaa family.’ The Admiral stretched his hand towards Pia on the table, leaning his body over. His face was so close to hers, she could see the black and grey stubble on his chin and cheeks.
‘Anni is my best friend.’
Both of the men nodded.
‘And her father is a diplomat and they live…’
‘We know all this,’ the Admiral said interrupting. ‘We need to know what happened at school yesterday. The announcement about the Gymnastics Competition, the Soviet official, everything.’
‘Yes, yes’ the Colonel said impatiently, glancing at his watch.
‘Anni was behaving really oddly on Monday…’ Pia looked up at the two men. The Colonel nodded as if for her to go on, so Pia told them all about the Russian, how Anni had reacted to it and how she’d not been to school today.
‘We were supposed to go out last night and I phoned Anni but there was no answer.’
When she’d finished there was a long silence. The Admiral was staring at the empty table in front of him. He was pulling the skin of his chin into small folds with his thumb and forefinger, then letting go and starting over again. The door behind Pia opened and the woman walked quickly towards the Admiral. She whispered something into his ear and then both of them looked at the Colonel.
