“I was just wondering what you thought about me leaving? I could tell Razor wasn’t happy to hear that I’m gonna go, but I couldn’t tell what you were thinking.” She tries to turn her head so she can see my face, but I tilt my face away.
“It’s up to you.” I shrug.
The truth is, I don’t know what I want. I don’t know if it could even work out, having her here long-term. However, what I know for sure is I don’t want to watch her leave our lives forever.
“So, you’re fine with it?” She crosses her arms, folding them over herself like a hug she’s not getting from me.
I twist up my sadness, my disappointment and my frustration and roll them into a ball that I fling deep down into my gut. I refuse to let myself break down over something like this. I need a distraction, I don’t want to sit here and talk about feelings, especially not these ones.
“Is this the real reason you came in here?” I finally let myself look at her, avoiding her question, but finally meeting her eyes. “Or was there something else you wanted from me.” I lean into her, slide my hand up the back of her neck and pull her into a long, rough kiss.
I don’t want to taste every inch of her soft skin. It’s going to be hard enough to forget her as it is. I don’t need to spend more time memorizing her. I want to fuck her, to wash away my emotions with animal sex that makes us both forget how to speak.
I break from her mouth but hold her neck as I kiss a fast, reckless path over her neck. I slide my hands up her shirt and yank it off her so quick she looks a little stunned. A stab of guilt in my gut makes me pause for a moment. Is this even okay? None of us have talked about our arrangement much, but before now, it’s always been three of us fucking or none. I decide that Razor isn’t the jealous type, I can’t see him getting too upset about it.
“I’m pretty sure there’s another reason you wanted to come in here, and I’m about to fucking give it to you,” I growl in her ear as I flick open her bra. I grab the front of it and twist my hand up in the bright blue fabric, ripping it down her arms and chuck it on the floor.
“Oh, Ace,” she mewls. But it hurts my heart to hear her calling my name so softly. I don’t want soft. I don’t want fucking sad. I don’t want heartache.
“Stand up, now.” I help pull her to her feet so she’s standing in front of me. I unbutton her pants and roughly pull them down until they’re down around her knees with her panties. “Fucking perfect.” I lick my finger until it’s glistening with saliva and rub it over her slit. Caitlin opens her stance a bit and I press my finger inside.
She’s fucking wet.
And I’m fucking ready.
I lift her from her feet and stand up. Pushing her over the bed, I pull my hard cock free and jam it inside her with so much urgency she yelps. I clap my hand over her mouth, muffling her cries and press my weight down onto her, enjoying fucking her hard with her face down and ass up for me.
“Ohhh!” she cries and I stick my finger in her mouth. The one still covered in her own juices and she licks it all off. She sucks on my finger like she sucked on my cock that first time. Her mouth tight around it, her tongue swirling over the tip.
Suddenly she tenses up and her pussy quivers around me as she grabs onto the blanket on my bed and twists it up in her fists. She drops my finger from her mouth as she cries out, and I give her ass a firm slap as the pleasure ripples through her.
I can’t hold back, I’m gonna blow my load. “I’m gonna cum, Caitlin, where do you want it?”
“On my ass,” she moans, writhing beneath me.
I pull out and jerk my cock a couple times, aiming the arcs of white jizz at her round, firm ass. I grunt, marking her with pearly stripes of my seed, until there’s nothing left.
Caitlin stands up and smears my cum into her skin, making it glisten like a silvery sheen. We both collapse on my bed. I tuck my cock back into my pants and zip up as a hazy cloud of exhaustion rolls in over my mind.
I let the need for sleep take over me. I don’t want to talk anymore. I’m spent. Both physically and emotionally worn out. I let my eyelids slide shut and finally let it all go as I fall asleep.
19
Caitlin
With Ace breathing deep next to me, I can tell he’s already asleep. My mind is racing though. I feel out of whack. Like just having sex with Ace has destroyed the perfect balance we’ve had so far. Up until now, it’s only ever been the three of us in the bedroom. Not to mention the kitchen, the bathroom, the living room… It’s been fun.
But now, I can’t stop this feeling crawling over me that everything has been knocked out of orbit. And there’s only one thing that will make it right. I slip free from Ace’s arms and only bother putting my bra and panties back on. I’m not about to hide what happened here from Razor. That’s not how I want this relationship to go. I just need to feel him, to experience the ying to the yang, to restore order to my body and mind.
Razor is throwing a couple more logs on a rip-roaring fire he got going. The entire cabin feels toasty and even in my underwear, I’m comfortable.
I feel like seduction is oozing from me as I narrow my sights on him and let my hips swing dramatically with each step toward him.
Razor looks up and his eyebrows shoot up with surprise. He stands, his brilliant blue eyes soaking in the view I’m giving him.
“It’s nice in here,” I purr. “But aren’t you getting hot with all those clothes on?”
I take the last few steps between us and drag my finger down his chest, looking up at him from under my hooded eyes.
“Listen, I think before we do anything we should talk,” he cuts to the chase, grabbing my hands and holding them together so I can’t roam them over him.
“We can talk after, Razor. Right now, I need you. Nothing will be right again until I have you,” I try to explain, but I can tell he doesn’t get it.
“Caitlin, I’m not sure I can keep doing this with you, not when I know this is all going to be over soon. I’d be lying through my teeth if I said I didn’t feel like this is more than sex.”
“Isn’t the sex enough? Because I know I can’t stop thinking about it,” I push, but he won’t budge.
He keeps my wrists circled in his hands, jutting out his jaw, his nostrils flare and the short hairs of his beard quiver as he clenches his teeth together. I can see the fire dancing behind his eyes. He wants me as badly as I need him. He just won’t say it. He’s trying to get me to commit to more than I can. I can’t tell him what he wants, so he won’t give me what I need.
“I know when this started I thought a week of sharing you with Ace would be enough. I never imagined I would start to need to hear your voice. That I would find myself dreaming about you. I never really thought about you leaving, so I didn’t realize how much I would miss you.” He swallows hard. “Can’t you at least consider staying?” He finally asks the question out loud. No more dancing around it. He’s put it on the table, and he’s waiting for my answer.
I can’t tell him that I want to say yes. I’m not ready to make a commitment to something so uncertain. If he’s hurt now by the idea of me leaving, how will he feel if I say I’d like to stay and then change my mind? It’s better to keep my lips sealed.
“I don’t know, Razor. It’s a lot to ask.” I try to be as honest as I can be.
Disappointment crashes over his face and he drops my hands. “Okay then, at least I know.”
I can see this attempt to even things out with him isn’t going to work. Razor looks like he could use some space, so I turn to walk into his room. Maybe a nap isn’t such a bad idea after all. I take a step but he grabs my wrist again, this time tugging me back to him. I face him and he kisses me slowly, softly, sensually. I open my mouth to his tongue and moan.
Razor’s hands slide down over my back and he grabs my ass tight. He keeps moving them down, his palms traveling down the back of my legs until he circles my thighs. He lifts my legs and I wrap them around him as he walks me over to the kitchen cou
nter.
As soon as he sits me on the edge, his fingers unsnap my bra strap and he takes one of my rosy nipples in his mouth. I lean back on the heels of my hands and arch my breasts toward him, getting lost in the buzzing jolt of pleasure driving through me.
I open my legs and lock my feet around him. The natural perfume of my desire rises between us and that flame I saw in his eyes earlier becomes a wildfire. Razor licks his fingers and buries them beneath the thin fabric of my panties. He uses my juices to lubricate them and slides them up my mound until he reaches my clit.
I bite my lip; my heart is already racing and he’s only just touched me. My skin rushes with heat and I knit my eyebrows together as I concentrate on the building bliss he’s bringing to me. Razor watches me intently.
“Look at me,” he demands.
I didn’t even realize my eyelids had fluttered closed. I can barely meet his intense gaze. It feels too personal. I know I’m half naked and grinding up against Razor’s hand, but when I look into his eyes like this, I feel more exposed somehow. The way his bright blue eyes darken and he drops his head, like he’s focusing on more than just the surface. It’s as if he’s trying to see inside me, and when he looks at me like that, I’m convinced he can. Vulnerability makes me shy, I cast my eyes down and he tilts my chin up with his finger and thumb while he still circles his fingers over my sensitive nub.
“I said look at me. I want to watch you cum on my fingers, Caitlin. And then on my cock.” He hypnotizes me with his baby blues.
I can feel the sensation growing stronger, the aching need for release with him is starting to spill over, I force myself to look at him as the orgasm pulses through me, until I can’t keep my eyes open for another second. I have to shut them, it’s all too much. My thighs quake around him and I gasp as shudders of electric pleasure travel through me like a current.
As it weakens, and the feeling fades, I open my eyes again. Our lips are suddenly pressed together in a kiss and I’m scratching at his shirt, desperate to pull it off of him.
He smells like the woods. Like the wild. Like an untamed man. And it drives me to the edge of my sanity to breath him in. Razor quickly peels off his clothes, dropping each article of clothing down into a fabric puddle on the floor.
“I want to watch you cum again,” he murmurs.
I nod. I want to feel him make me cum again. He lifts me from the counter and holds my ass as he lines his thick cock at my entrance. He thrusts inside me and I grind down his shaft at the same time, he fills me quickly and fully. My nipples are pebbles and my pussy is flooded with slick nectar for him. After already being fucked by Ace, I’m wetter than I’ve ever been before, and even still, he’s stretching me out.
I slide my arms over Razor’s shoulders and lift myself up a bit. He pulls me back down, burying his cock in me so deep I suck in a sharp breath. I grind against him and squeeze him tight with my pussy, holding his cock like a glove.
“Fuck,” he groans in my ear.
He watches me, and this time I’m not nervous to show him what he does to me. I let my lips open and my eyelids hood as his cock fills me with every pump. Suddenly, Razor starts thrusting into me deep and fast.
“Oh!” It’s all I can utter. The feeling of his cock burying to the hilt inside me over and over makes another orgasm shudder through me. My body tightens and my pussy squeezes down on him hard.
Razor pulls out and drops me to my feet. “On your knees,” he growls and I comply. He jerks his cock in front of my face and I open my mouth for him, letting him spurt his seed over my lips and tongue. He’s breathing heavy when the last of his cum drips onto my face. I stand up and grab a paper towel, rinsing off his seed at the sink.
“Get over here.” He lifts me up and carries me over to the couch. I can’t help but giggle and settle down against him as we stretch out naked in front of the fire.
20
Razor
How can I let her leave? She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. That’s ever happened to us, I remind myself.
And, honestly, I have no problem keeping it that way. I knew when she came out here that she had sex with Ace while I was outside. Now things feel right again that just her and I have fucked. However, I still prefer it to be the three of us. The way she is when both of us are touching her, sucking her, licking her, fucking her, it’s like she’s completely free of inhibitions. She just seems happier.
“Listen,” I clear my throat and lazily trail drawings over her back, “I know you said you couldn’t give me an answer about staying…”
“Razor.” Her voice is tense.
“No, let me finish,” I insist and she closes her mouth. “The thing is, I’m falling for you, Caitlin, and I feel like I’m not the only one developing some deeper feelings. I think you might be falling for us too. What you, me and Ace have, this is the shit people spend their whole lives looking for. The way we make each other laugh. How comfortable we all are together. And, of course, the sex.”
“Yeah, that’s pretty good.” She giggles and snuggles into me closer.
“Only pretty good, huh?” I look down at her.
“Yeah, I mean, if you’re into earth-shattering orgasms and kinky sex with two guys, then, you know, it’s all right,” she teases.
“See? Where are you going to find that out there?” I nod toward the window. “Even if you do go home and find some guy, he can never care for you as deeply as us. There’s two of us, and you’ve got us both wrapped around your little finger. We need you, Caitlin. Can’t you do your job from anywhere? Why do you have to go back to Fairbanks? We can give you everything you need here.”
She doesn’t say anything. There’s such a long pause I have to look down to see if she’s still awake.
“Caitlin?”
“Yes, my job is mobile,” she finally whispers.
“Well then, what’s the big hold up then?” Ace rounds the corner into the room and we both look up at him. He looks relieved to see Caitlin and I naked and clearly cuddled up after sex.
“I just don’t know yet. Okay?” She sits up and looks from my face to his and back again. “I need time to think. Like real time. This isn’t something you decide just like that.” She snaps her fingers together and frowns. “It’s easy for you guys because you’re not the ones making all the changes. I’m the one who has to relocate my job post. I’m the one who has to move out of my apartment and probably sell my stuff. I just went through a huge divorce a year ago and finally got my life back to normal after all that chaos. Now you guys are asking me to turn it upside down again.” She looks down at her hands and her chin quivers. “I just don’t know.”
I look over at Ace and I can see he’s getting the same thing out of this I am, she’s leaving. There’s already a million excuses to go running through her mind. She’s just building a case to get out of here and never look back.
“I’m gonna lie down, guys, I’m really wiped out.” She keeps her eyes on the floor and slinks into my bedroom. Once the door closes, I hop up off the couch. Suddenly this cabin feels too hot and too small for all my big emotions. I walk over to the counter and put my clothes back on.
“I was thinking hamburgers for supper, man. What do you think?” Ace does his usual thing of burying his feelings. He seems to think if he just glazes over stuff then he won’t ever have to feel it. But it didn’t work when we were forced out of the SEALs and I know it won’t work now either.
“I’m not hungry.” I walk over to my coat and boots and pull them on. “I think I’m gonna take Gunnar for a walk, I need some air.” I look over at Ace and he just nods. He gets it.
“Here, boy,” I call out and Gunnar runs down the hall and to my side.
I close the front door behind me and pick a direction. I don’t really care where I’m going, I just need to move. I can’t just sit in the house and pretend I’m not upset while I munch on some hamburgers. I’ve gotta shake this off somehow. I crunch over the snow and watch the hues of pink and de
ep purples cast over the white canvas under my feet. Even the sunset isn’t enough to distract me. Not tonight. I walk and walk, thoughts swirling in my mind like the little twisters of snow.
With Gunnar at my side, I trudge onward, refusing to look back, just like Caitlin is going to in a couple days.
21
Caitlin
I sit with my knees drawn up to my chest and my arms wrapped around them. I’m hunched forward, hugging my legs like I’m trying to protect myself. Like I’m trying to build some kind of shell to keep me from getting hurt.
But you’re hurting them instead.
Wincing, I try to push the thought away. I can’t let myself go through the pain of another break-up. When Bill and I got together, it was more for convenience than love. We were both pilots interested in building businesses. He wanted to do drop-offs out in the bush and I got a contract to do maintenance on the weather station equipment around the state.
The sex was unimaginative and, most times, I had to dig out my favorite purple rabbit vibrator to finish the job he couldn’t once he drifted off. Our conversations were almost exclusively about the business. In a lot of ways, we were more like roommates than husband and wife. Half the time I wouldn’t even really consider him a friend.
That’s why, when I caught him humping Jenn, in the same boring missionary style he always wanted with me, I almost felt relieved. I mean, I was angry, sure. Who wouldn’t be? But the real loss I felt was knowing I could never be friends with Jennifer anymore. Her betrayal stung so much more than his.
And if leaving him tore me up as much as it did, I can’t even imagine how I would get my life back to normal if things didn’t work out with Ace and Razor. That would shatter me. I would splinter into so many tiny pieces that no amount of time or work or meaningless distractions would ever help me become whole again.
Shared by the Mountain Men Page 9
