“What she thought shouldn’t have mattered.”
But it did. She had always looked up to Becca. She was beautiful and popular and sophisticated. Of course, she could also be self-centered and stubborn, too.
“I felt as though she never really saw me. The real me. To her I was always little Katy, young and naive. I think she expected me to be just like her. And not only did I not give a damn about being rich and sophisticated, I could never pine for a man the way she did for you. It’s like she was obsessed. Everything she did was to keep you happy. To keep you interested. It just seemed…exhausting.”
Adam frowned, and Katy felt a stab of guilt. What had possessed her to say something so insensitive?
“Oh, shoot. Adam, I’m sorry.” She squeezed his hand, wishing she could take the words back. “I didn’t mean to imply—”
“No, you’re right. She was like that. But for the life of me I could never understand why. She didn’t need to work to keep me interested. I loved her unconditionally. She was so independent and feisty.”
Katy smiled. “She was definitely feisty. Full of piss and vinegar, my grandma used to say.”
“She lost that. I don’t know why, but after we got married, she changed.”
“Maybe she loved you so much, she was afraid of losing you. Maybe she was worried that once you were married, you would get bored with her.”
“That’s ridiculous.”
“When she met you, she seemed truly happy for the first time in her life. She was never happy at home. She never came out and said it, but we knew she was ashamed of where she came from. You’ll never know how much that hurt my parents.”
He surprised her by turning his hand and threading his fingers through hers. “I tried to get Becca to visit more. I told her I would make time. I had no family, so I knew how important it was. She just…” He shrugged helplessly.
That should have hurt, but mostly Katy just felt disappointed. Especially since Becca had led them to believe that it was Adam who never had time for them.
“It was like that with the fertility treatments, too,” he said. “They found the cancer, and wanted to do the surgery and start treatment immediately. She flat-out refused. She wanted to harvest her eggs. I begged her to reconsider, but she knew it was our last chance to have a child that was biologically ours. There was no reasoning with her. The doctors warned her that she had a particularly aggressive strain, but she wouldn’t budge.”
Becca had always led Katy and her parents to believe that Adam had been the one to make that decision, that he insisted they wait and harvest the eggs first, and they had believed her. Had it all been a lie, to shelter herself from her parents’ disapproval?
Why did she portray him to be so unreasonable and demanding?
“You want to hear the really ironic part of all this?” Adam said. “I don’t think she really even wanted kids.”
It was true Becca had never been much of a kid person. Katy had been a little surprised when she mentioned they were trying to get pregnant. But when it didn’t happen right away she’d been devastated. Because when Becca wanted something, she didn’t like to wait. After that, it was as if she was obsessed. “For a year that’s all she talked about,” she told Adam.
“Because she knew it was what I wanted.”
“Why wouldn’t she want kids?”
“I think…I think she was afraid that if we had a child, I might love it more than her. She wanted to be the center of my universe, and I think she believed that the baby would replace her.”
Was she really that insecure? She was smart and beautiful and talented with a husband who loved her. Why couldn’t she just be happy? Why did she have to make everything so complicated?
“I loved Becca,” Adam said, “but I don’t think I ever completely understood her. But that wasn’t her fault. I should have tried harder, made more of an effort. I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”
It occurred to her suddenly that she and Adam were talking. Having an honest conversation. And she hadn’t even been trying. It just…happened.
She and Adam were from totally different worlds. So why, at that very moment, did he feel like an equal? Not a billionaire oil man, but just a man.
Nine
Something was off.
Katy jolted awake and opened her eyes, expecting to be in her bed at home, but as her eyes adjusted she realized she was in the spare room at Adam’s house.
For a second she was confused, then she remembered they’d had the embryos implanted that morning.
She must have fallen asleep during the movie they were watching. She would check the time on the digital clock on the dresser, but that would necessitate her rolling over, and she was too comfortable to move. She must have conked out a while ago because the television had gone into sleep mode. She wondered why Adam hadn’t switched it off when he left.
She usually slept pretty light, so she was surprised she hadn’t felt him get out of bed. He’d sat there beside her almost the entire time they had been back from Dr. Meyer’s office. She hadn’t even cared that he’d spent part of the time working on his laptop. She was content to just sit beside him reading the novel she’d brought with her. She even told him it was okay if he would be more comfortable working in his office. His reply was that they were in this together, and if she had to lie around all day, it was only fair he did the same. He was turning out to be a lot nicer than she ever expected. Still a bit dark and mysterious, but at least he’d opened up to her a little today.
She thought about her mother’s warning, how Katy always fell hard and fast. Maybe she did have the slightest bit of a crush on Adam, but she knew better than to think it would amount to anything. She was finished with one-way relationships. And men like Adam didn’t get serious about women like her. They had absolutely nothing in common.
Was she attracted to him? Of course. When they kissed had she practically burst into flames? She sure had, but all that meant was that they were attracted to each other.
And was she tempted by the thought of taking that attraction out for a quick spin? Hell, yes! But she knew that would only lead to getting her heart crushed, and who needed that? The trick was to keep herself out of temptation’s way.
And what was the point of lying here in the dark obsessing about it when what she needed was a good night’s sleep?
She closed her eyes, willing herself to relax. She was just starting to drift back off when she felt the bed move. If she were at home she would just assume Sylvester had jumped into bed with her. But as far as she knew Adam didn’t have a cat.
Maybe it had been her imagination.
Curious, she reached back, patting the covers behind her, her hand landing on something warm and solid. She yanked it back and looked over her shoulder. The reason she hadn’t felt Adam get out of bed was because he never had!
Oh, good Lord.
Was it a coincidence that she’d just been thinking about avoiding temptation, and here it was, lying right beside her? Maybe it was fate. Or a sign.
It was a sign, all right. A sign that she needed to wake him up and get him the hell out of here.
She rolled over. He was lying on his side facing her, one arm under his head. She reached out to shake him awake, then stopped just shy of touching his arm. He was so serious all the time. Even when he smiled there was an undercurrent of tension, as if he was always plotting, always planning his next move. Now he looked so…peaceful.
As if it possessed a will of its own, her hand moved to his face instead, but until she felt the rasp of his beard stubble against her fingers, she didn’t think she would be bold enough to actually touch him. And now that she had, she couldn’t seem to make herself stop.
There was a small white scar just below his lip where the skin was smooth and she couldn’t resist tracing it with her finger. The mouth that sometimes appeared so hard and unrelenting looked soft and tender while he slept. She wanted to touch that, too. With her fingers. And her lips.
The idea of actually doing it, touching her lips to his again, made her scalp tingle.
This is a bad idea, she told herself, but knowing that didn’t stop her. In fact, it made doing it even more exciting. Because honestly, when did she ever do anything that was bad for her? As long as she could remember, she’d been the good girl. The obedient daughter. Didn’t she deserve to take something for herself? Just this once?
Heart pounding, she leaned close, touching her lips to his chin. He didn’t wake up, didn’t even stir, so she moved up a little, to the corner of his mouth, and pressed her lips there, quickly, then pulled back to check his face. His eyes were still closed. The man slept like the dead.
Trembling with anticipation, she closed her eyes and very gently pressed her lips to his…and almost moaned it felt so nice. And there it was again, that curious feeling, just like before. Awareness. Like a magnet pull, drawing her closer to him. She wanted to curl herself around his body, sink into his warmth. She would crawl inside his skin if she could.
She realized her lips were still pressed to his, and without meaning to, she’d gotten a little bit carried away. She opened her eyes, to make sure he was still asleep, but Adam’s eyes were open, too, and he was looking right at her.
She sucked in a surprised breath, and backed away, sure that she must have looked like a deer in headlights.
She waited for him to berate her, to ask her what the hell she thought she was doing. Instead he blinked several times, eyes foggy from sleep and asked in gravelly voice, “Did you just kiss me?”
Okay, so maybe he wasn’t as awake as he looked. Maybe she could lie and say it had been an accident. She had just leaned too close and accidentally bumped lips with him. He would buy that, right?
He was asleep, not stupid.
“Katy?” he said, waiting for an answer.
“Yes,” she choked out, shame burning her cheeks. Not only for what she’d done, but for the fact that she wanted to do it again. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”
She braced herself for the anger, but instead Adam touched her face…so tenderly that shivers of pleasure danced along her spine. Then he looked her right in the eye and said in a voice thick with desire, “Do it again.” He wanted her to kiss him?
Katy was too dumbfounded to move, but Adam apparently didn’t want to wait, because he leaned in and kissed her first.
She discovered the instant their lips touched that it was a heck of a lot more fun kissing him when he was actually participating. It was exciting and terrifying and confusing and…wonderful. And it was obvious, after several minutes of making out like sex-starved teenagers, when he rolled her over onto her back and tugged her pajama top up over her head, this was going way beyond kissing. She may have started this, but it was clear that Adam intended to finish it.
What are you doing? the rational part of her brain demanded, that part that wasn’t drowning in estrogen and pheromones. This is Adam, your brother-in-law. Your sister’s husband. This is wrong.
But it was hard to take her rational self seriously when Adam was kissing her senseless and sliding his hand inside her pajama bottoms. She moaned as his fingers found the place where she was already hot and wet.
Already? Who was she kidding? Since she started the hormone shots she’d been walking around in a near-constant state of sexual arousal. It wasn’t unusual for her to feel heightened sexual awareness when she was ovulating, but this was horny times fifty.
Maybe this had been inevitable. And maybe it made her a lousy sister, or just a terrible person in general, but she didn’t care. She wanted him. She had never done a truly selfish thing in her life, but she was going to do this.
And she would not fall in love with him.
She fumbled with the buttons on Adam’s shirt, her fingers clumsy and uncooperative, until she got fed up and just ripped the damned thing open. If he cared that she’d just ruined his shirt he didn’t say so. Of course, he was a little preoccupied driving her crazy with his fingers and his mouth.
She shoved the shirt off his shoulders and down his arms, her eyes raking over his chest. Swirls of black hair circled small dark nipples then narrowed into a trail down the center of his lean stomach, disappearing under the waistband of his slacks.
Breathless with excitement, she put her hands on him. His skin was hot and she could feel the heavy thump of his heart. She wanted to touch him everywhere.
She half expected him to be as controlled and closed off as he always was. Hadn’t Becca confided to her that sex with Adam was “nice,” but sometimes she wished he would be a little more passionate, more adventurous? But Adam must have changed, because if he were any more passionate than he was now, they would set the sheets on fire. He was reckless and impulsive and…crazy.
They kissed and touched, tore at each other’s clothes. There was barely a second when his mouth wasn’t somewhere on her body. Her lips, her breasts, the column of her throat. He licked and nibbled as if he wanted to eat her alive. Until the sensations all started to run together, and her entire being quivered with the need for release.
And when she didn’t think she could stand much more, when she felt she would go out of her mind if he didn’t take her, he said, “I have to make love to you.” Not he wanted to, but he had to. As in, he wanted it so badly, he couldn’t stop himself. And she felt exactly the same way.
As he centered himself between her thighs, his strong arms caging her, she considered fleetingly that maybe they shouldn’t be doing this, but as he thrust inside her, her brain could do nothing but feel. Feel his hands and his mouth. Feel the slow, steady rhythm of his body moving inside of hers, connecting in a way she had never imagined. It felt as if she had been working up to this moment her entire life. Every man who had come before him…they hadn’t come close to making her feel what she did now. Excited and humbled and terrified all at once. And as she cried out with release, felt Adam shudder and then go still inside of her, she was terrified that no one ever would again.
Because as earth-shatteringly wonderful as this had been, this was Adam, her brother-in-law. He was a billionaire oil man and she was a rancher. He wore thousand-dollar suits to work and she spent her days wading through cow manure.
They were worse than oil and water. They were gasoline and a lit match. And she could tell, by the way he rolled over and lay silently beside her, the only sound his breath coming in sharp rasps, he was probably thinking the same thing. He was probably afraid that she had just fallen head over heels in love with him, and was wondering how he was going to let her down easy.
Well, he didn’t have to worry about her. She was firmly rooted in reality.
She took a deep breath, blew it out and said, “Despite what you’re probably thinking right now, this was not a big deal.”
Not a big deal?
Adam lay beside Katy, trying to catch his breath, after what was by far the best sex of his entire adult life.
Despite the fact that it was over way too fast. But it had been almost four years since he’d been with a woman, so the fact that he’d lasted more than thirty seconds was, in his opinion, a small miracle.
Then he had a thought, one that just about stopped his pulse. “Were we supposed to do that?”
“Well, given the nature of our relationship—”
“No, I mean, was that on the list?”
“List?”
“The things you’re not supposed to do after the embryo transfer.”
He heard her inhale sharply, then she jolted up in bed. “I don’t know.”
“I don’t recall the doctor mentioning anything about sex, but I could swear there was something on the list.” He might have thought of it sooner, but when he woke to discover her kissing him, his brain must have shorted out.
“Do you still have the list?” she asked. “I think I left it here the last time.”
“I think Celia put it on my desk.”
She swung her legs over the side of the bed
and he grabbed her arm. “You’re on bed rest. I’ll go.”
She looked at him like he was an idiot, since she was probably thinking that the damage had already been done. But technically she was still on bed rest, and since she hadn’t actually gotten out of bed, maybe they were okay. He switched on the lamp, blinking against the sudden bright light. He found his pants on the floor beside the bed and yanked them on. Then he turned and saw Katy sitting there naked, fishing her panties from between the covers, her skin rosy, her breasts covered with love bites, and almost took them back off again.
He actually paused for a second and reached for his fly, then thought, What the hell are you doing? They shouldn’t have slept together the first time, but once could at least be written off as sexual curiosity. Or temporary insanity. The second time, though, showed intent. It implied a relationship, and he sure as hell didn’t want that.
He didn’t care how fantastic the sex was. There was no way it was going to happen again.
He left Katy wrestling with her undergarments and headed down to his office. He found the list buried under a month’s worth of miscellaneous papers. He switched out the lights and took the stairs two at a time up to the bedroom.
Katy was sitting in bed, wearing her pajama top and panties, looking anxious.
“Got it,” he said, sitting beside her.
“What does it say?” she asked, leaning close to read it with him.
He saw it right away, at the bottom. He pointed to the line. “No intercourse or orgasms.”
She closed her eyes and cursed. “So what does this mean?”
“That it might not work, I guess.”
The Tycoon's Paternity Agenda Page 8
