by Jacob White
“Laila. I beg you please, don’t do this.”
“Everything I have is gone, Weaver. It wasn’t because of Liam. The man I have loved for so long did this. You did this, no other, not for peace, security, but because we would not give up on you. We would will not bow to a corrupt man.”
“Laila… please!” She drew closer.
“Even now Weaver, I love you. I want to offer you hope for better days but now I cannot believe them myself. If you do not kill me with your own hands, I will kill you. I will make your hands dirty with my blood just as the others. I wish to die with those who stood against you, my friends.” I took a few steps back to for every she took. There was no turning back from this but how could I do this to Laila. The light in a world of darkness. I stopped.
“Please, kill me.” Her eyes expanded as my black metal armor clamored to the floor.
“Weaver! what are you doing!” Les then called for another hound. I ripped it apart without even thinking. “Weaver! Your people need you!” Les was begging just as Laila had. Les pulled out a dagger of her own. I was too late as Les came between us and pushed the knife into her rib cage.
“No!” I pushed Les back to a wall and held my sword to her throat. “Why… I don’t deserve to live, tell me why!”
“Because I love you. I said once before I will stand on whatever side you are on.” She smiled at me. I closed my eyes and slit her throat open as she fell to the floor. I ran back to Laila and held her in my arms.
“Laila, please, you must kill me. Send me to the afterlife so we can all live in real peace… please.”
“Remember, memories still remain intact there. You also know the fates promise to you if you should return. You will find no peace there.”
She stabbed the knife into my throat. Burning pain filled my mouth, throat, and chest but more only came when I tried to speak. I saw her slit her own throat as I was on the ground now dying. I did my best to mouth ‘I'm sorry’. The life in her eyes was gone before I even finished the words. Help never came. No servants. No healers, anyone. They just stood and watched me bleed out onto the floor below the throne I had corrupted.
I woke up grabbing my neck and breathing hard. I was damp with sweat. What's worse, I felt the same evil and justification inside me from the dream. Is this what was to come if I lived? I would turn to Liam to protect this land and end up killing my friends instead? I called out to Laila as I stood.
“Laila, please help me. please…” I stumbled towards her, falling over loose branches. I didn’t know tears were on my face until I tried to wipe dirt on my face. “Laila! Please!” I yelled waking the entire camp. “Help me!”
I fell again and only reached for her as she came to me, holding my head in my lap.
“Shhh, it’s okay now. Feel the light, the warmth, the hope of us all.”
“I don’t deserve it, I killed you all. You all died by my own hand. I cannot do this…” Then the warmth hit me, and I was now breathing calmly.
“Weaver, this will not happen. I promise you. I can feel your pain and fear. More importantly, I can feel your hope for a future worthy of living.” She whispered to me even as everyone gathered. Les looked at me with a hand over her mouth and with eyes of concern. I couldn’t keep my eyes open as I fell back to sleep on Laila’s lap.
I awoke with my head still in Laila’s lap. She stroked my hair and looked down at me with tired eyes. Les held my hand looking on with sympathy. I sat up. My head hurt but I was able to recover. I noticed the rest were around Gibi in a semi-circle listening intently. I looked back to Laila realizing if she was giving me her warmth all night then she hadn't slept at all.
“Laila, I'm sorry. I panicked last night.” I trailed off as the details of the dreams came rushing back.
“Hush now, it is nothing to worry about. I will ride with Aden today, so I can sleep without falling out of my saddle.” She gave me a small reassuring smile, but something was off. I could feel her distancing herself.
“Laila… is everything all right?
“Weaver, come with me, and I will explain.” I got up and followed Les a few paces away from the rest of the group. “Laila is worried for you and her.”
“Why? Did I do something again?” My words sped out of my mouth. She grabbed my face and planted a soft kiss my lips.
“No, nothing happened, nobody was harmed. It's just that… Gibi told everyone about your dream last night.” I suddenly felt cold. I raised my hands to comb through my brown locks. “He thinks there is more to it than just your dream.”
“Just tell me what's wrong?”
“He thinks that Liam has already began to corrupt you and Laila’s minds. He thinks it happened went you went to save Laila.” My stomach dropped. Liam was getting closer to lose my sanity and we only just started this journey.
“What does that mean?”
“We don’t know, Weaver. You just have to understand everyone else's feelings. They heard about this dream and then about Gibi’s theory. They are all a bit scared, especially now that you have access to Gibi’s power.”
“Oh, gods… I'm becoming a monster, aren't I?” I sank to my knees and was followed by Les.
“No, you silly man. All it means is a god was playing in your mind and causing you harm. Gibi said that is why you and Laila need each other to sleep. Somehow his blessing suppresses the damage done.”
“I'm sorry… I know you must feel uncomfortable.”
“Of course, at first but if it keeps you safe and from harm. Then I welcome it every day even if I am not the one to help you.” She pressed her forehead against mine.
“All will be well Weaver, we will make it to the Twins and finish this and go start a home.” I couldn’t find the right words. I had just learned my dream may very well come true if Liam has his way with my mind. We both stood and went over to the circle. It wasn’t obvious but still enough for me to pick up on. I felt the group give me space. Dirk was the only one smiling and at this moment I loved him for it even if I could never admit that to him. Gibi gave me a look of regret.
“Weaver, I am sorry for not recognizing this before.”
“It's okay Gibi. You said it yourself that he is blocking you somehow from things you would see with ease. All we can do now is get to the Twins and be done with this.” I stated.
The group looked around at each other. Anna was the one to break the secret of this gathering to me.
“That’s what we were discussing. Some of us think we should wait for Herosi’s military to meet us just outside of the forest. Also, maybe there are other ideas that we should push forward. Then there is my concern—”
“We don’t know that, Anna, do not make this worse.” Dirk directly said to Anna with no measure of humor.
“Shut it, Dirk. We all know he deserves to know even if it ends up killing him.”
“Killing me?” Gibi took a deep breath.
“Well, I have a concern after you remove the stone. One, Liam would now have full access to your mind. After your show of defiance the weeks before, he won't let that go. He will destroy your mind further for sport. It would send two messages at once by creating fear in our group and destroying the only other source of my blessing.”
“Laila…”
“Yes, with your mind gone, she will also lose hers. Two, is that the damage you already have, could be much worse. It would could make you lose your mind you once the transfer is complete.” He stopped talking only to picked up back by Aden.
“Let's not forget reason three: that he might keep it for his own use and kill us all to save himself and her.” He pointed disrespectfully at Les, but I know knew she can handle herself, so I let it go. “Can none of you see it! Even now his mind is fractured. Keeping it might even be a justification for saving us but end up hurting us all instead.”
“Shut your damn mouth Aden.” Aden took a step backwards in shock. His hand sat atop his sword in case he would have to cut me down. His wrinkled brow gave away how was angry th
at I defied him so openly. “You would dare question my motivation? Do you not think this is what Liam wants, the trust of us to fall apart at the most critical time?” He looked down and away. “Let me enlighten you: I will do what I must. If that means I die then so be it.”
“Weaver…” Both Laila and Les whispered at the same time.
“If my death means victory and life for you all, then I would give it willingly and I know Laila would agree to the same. I would save Anna. My oldest friend and family. The one who taught me magic. Dirk, the cocky man who once helped me kill a madman with barely knowing me. To Ralph, who always treated those within the Yezmon with a tremendous respect despite the line of work.”
I began to step towards Aden, and my voice raised. “To Laila, the light of a land that even darkness cannot pierce. Who willingly stays awake just so I can sleep with peace. Even you Aden, the man who left his kingdom after his mother's death that I caused. To make sure this duty is carried out. Then finally to Les. The woman who has no means, no magic, no tactical significance to our survival. Who came back after I almost killed her.” Les’s eyes brimmed with tears. “To the woman who would sacrifice it all if I just asked her, no matter what line I stood on light or dark. This is the group that has been chosen for this. I may be the one who holds the stone but you all bring so much more to this. If I must die then fine. I will see you all again when you die from old age. I know this will succeed because of you all, not I. However, Prince Aden, if you ever question the sacrifices of myself or anyone here again. I assure you we will have more than words next time.” I walked off alone into the forest not wanting to hear what was said after I left. I found Gibi waiting for me.
“Weaver, I am sorry, not as a god but as your friend. I know what pain you suffer. I know your feelings and I know you would die willingly if the time arises. All I ask is that you understand where their fears come from. The unknown is a scary place to be. Having no control over what happens and knowing everything we love could end.”
“Gibi, I do not need a reminder of what is at stake. Plea—”
“Weaver, when will you learn not to lie to me? I know what you plan tonight, and I will tell you it is foolish. You just said yourself a moment ago that everyone here needs each other. You would honestly leave them to finish this by yourself? What of Laila? What of her mind?”
“You know damn well you can fix it or block it and even give out your blessing to another. But even after all this time you don’t do it.”
“Do you know what it means for a god to offer a blessing? I'll assume you don’t. It means I give a little piece of myself to a person. Not the same as you having access to my power but it’s more along the lines of giving them a body part. The blessing is part of the makeup of every god. It is a delicate balance. If I give too much, I will not be able to function for years. If I keep too much, my blessing my power becomes erratic and I won't have control of myself until it is rebalanced. Could you imagine a god who has no control? The amount of power they have could destroy a thousand worlds. This is part of the reason Liam must sleep. When he escaped yes, some of his power was drained. But also, he wanted to strike as fast as he could. He gave his blessing to all his children before your ancestor acted as he did. That is what made him sleep for all these years.”
“How many blessings can you give now that you have given two in our lifetime?” I asked with my eyes downward.
“No more without significant risk. To be honest, I could manage maybe one more, but I'm not sure.”
“Gibi that makes no sense. If Liam gave a part of himself to all his children why is it that you can give so little?” He was silent for a time as if he was ashamed.
“It is because he is much stronger than me. It is difficult to explain but I will try. When the gods had their children, it also adds to themselves. As if multiple forms of themselves were born. Even if they were small and in the hundreds, it was still enough. The god could regenerate the part given, but the extra was still in the world. Meaning they had access to it. This is why the gods having children is so dangerous. Eteral god of Xent only had a dozen, myself had none but Liam. He had thousands that I know of.”
“How…”
“He would force his children to mate and their children all while Liam mated as well. Several more pieces were in the world than all the other gods combined. I'm not even sure we can stop him Weaver. Now that we know he managed to hide some of his spawns. The only chance is the stone you wear. The purest source of creation in existence is all that stands between him and the world. It will take an unfathomable time for him to regenerate all that he gave but there is enough of him here to create three Liam's. Even now I fear that he has found a way to absorb his children in his sleep. There is still so much we do not know. It nearly seems impossible to accomplish. But Weaver, have faith in me. I have seen a future where we succeed. A peaceful world full of prosperity and trade.”
“Gibi, you know I do… but even though I'm surrounded by friends I still feel alone. I feel as I might cause their deaths one day. I must do this on my own. I will find the man who I am to give this too. Then the others can join him before they see me lose my mind. I can just die peacefully in the mountains without anyone having to witness it, isn't that a gift in itself?”
“What of the Shadow Hounds? Or others hiding within the haze? Weaver, as I once told you before, fate is only a series of choices we have yet to make. Please be sure to make this one with great thought. Either way, I will be with you.”
I was left to myself going over the choices I had. Les eventually found me and dragged me back to the camp. As much as I wanted her to come with me and I knew she would. I would not do that to her. I made my choice once seeing the group again and knew what must be done. The group had decided to wait for the reinforcements that Aden ensured after we left. We made better sleeping arrangements and improved our hasty camp. Putting a cover over our heads to block sun and rain. Anna found a river for us to bathe in. She recommended she heat the water for the girls and me for the men.
After the long hours in the day, I found Laila.
“I'm sorry again. About last night.”
“And I already told you I need no apologies.” I had to make further small conversation to avoid any suspicion about my request.
“Laila, do you think we could exchange blessings? I wanted to head to bed early and I know you could use the rest.”
“Are you sure? The evening meal is not yet ready?”
“I just want to put this day behind me.” She smiled and gave me a nod. I embraced her, knowing it would be the last time.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Separation
I woke up in the middle of the night with Les’s legs were still draped over me. I was gentle as I could be, but she still woke.
“Weaver, is everything okay? Do I need to get Laila?”
“No, no, nothing like that. Just wanted to walk a bit. I'll be back soon.” Then I bent down to kiss her and held her tightly up in my arms. “I love you, and thank you for always choosing my side.”
“Weaver. You're scaring me.”
“There is no need to be scared. I promise. I just wanted to start the practice of telling you that every day, so you never forget.”
“Then kiss me and tell me again.” I did so for another five minutes until she turned over to prepare to sleep again. I loved this woman so dearly, no matter what games Gibi would play. I had to leave. I knew I would never see her again after tonight. I left a small key to the Yezmon as my final gift for her to remember me by. In truth, it wasn’t mine to give anymore but I wanted her to know she could always find refuge there. I kissed her head once again to see her smile. I put on my gear while keeping an eye out for whoever was on watch. I saw Aden walking along the perimeter, but I couldn’t find the other. I finished gathering up my things as quietly as I could. I saw Anna’s bed roll empty and knew she was the other on watch. I mouthed my goodbyes to her and Laila as I broke the ground of the camp. I wait
ed until Aden was on the opposite side patrolling. I knew once I got far enough Anna wouldn’t be able to sense me through the haze and I would know I was truly alone.
“You don’t have to be” Gibi whispered into my mind.
“I know, but I can't have their deaths at my hand. The longer people stay around me, the more they get hurt.”
“They understand the risks.”
“Do they? How about being tormented for all eternity until we can retake the afterlife from the fates? Even if we succeed my battle will continue” He was silent with understanding. That was the last of we spoke of it before I found myself sprinting to the edge of the woods. I broke the trees when a huge ball of water almost crashed into my face. I was able to stop it, but I lost my focus on my running and tripped to my face.
“What in the six hells do you think you are doing. Weaver! You better not be doing what I think you are.”
“Anna… let me go.”
“No. Go back to camp.”
“Anna, you don’t understand, I have to go alone.”
“Oh, and be captured by a hound? Or maybe other criminals who would use your balls as ornaments? Or how about getting bit by a snake and randomly dying in the open plains. Are you done being foolish?”
“Anna, I am going to die, I feel it. I don’t want anyone to see me lose my mind.”
“Oh, and I'm sure Gibi is okay with you just running off?” I stayed silent.
“Holy—”
“Yeah.”
“Weaver, you don’t have to do this, please.” She knelt by my side.
“I do, Anna. I have caused enough pain to everyone here. It’s time I just bring it to myself.”
“No, I can't accept that. For once in your life take the help. Not everything is always on your shoulders alone. If you would let us share it we will.”
“No, Anna.” I stood, with her following suit but not before embracing me around my waist.
“Weaver, please…”
