by Myers, AJ
“She’s saying we’re going to have to find Em a donor,” Tyler said softly, answering the question going through my head as well as the one Nathan had asked.
Had it not been for the wall next to me, I would have ended up on the floor. My stomach twisted itself into a pretzel as what Tyler had said hit home. They were going to find me a living, breathing, human being to feed on? The awfulness of that suggestion was enough to make me want to gag.
“It’s the only way, I’m afraid,” Sierra sighed, dropping her face into her hands. “I’ll speak to Skipper tonight about finding her someone.”
“No.”
That one word, spoken in Nathan’s smooth-as-silk voice, sent a tingle of dread down my spine. As pleasant as his voice might have sounded to others, I’d heard the deadly note in it. The threat in his tone, coupled with the murderous expression on his gorgeous face, should have been enough to send Tyler and Sierra running for cover. I sure wanted to.
“Nate—” Sierra began, but when he leveled that deadly furious look right at her, the words she’d been about to speak died on her lips.
“I said no,” he told her, his voice never rising above a pleasant hum. “We can teach her to survive without a donor. We’ll just have to up her Nexus dosage and work with her.”
By the time he finished speaking Sierra’s silvery-blue eyes had started to glow. The look she gave him would have withered live plants it was so venomous.
“Up her dosage?” she repeated in a sneer. “Did you miss it when she did that herself after what happened with the kid next door? She’s already at double the recommended dosage! What do you want to do? Triple it? Quadruple it? Maybe you weren’t listening to me, but that won’t work! Her system burns right through it—and I think you know why. Forget to tell me something when you brought me here, did you, Nate?”
In response, Nathan just stared at her coldly and clamped his mouth shut. If I hadn’t known him as well as I did, I might have missed the flicker of guilt that crossed his features. I didn’t know what I was supposed to make of that. I also didn’t know what Sierra had been talking about when she said he had neglected to give her all the necessary info when he asked for her help.
But I was going to find out.
“I told you what you needed to know,” Nathan said coldly, never taking his eyes from Sierra’s. “She can do this. She’s just going to have to fight harder.”
Sierra sat back in her chair, sucking in a sharp breath. When she spoke, it was in a horrified whisper. “Fight harder? She’s fighting as hard as she can now, Nate. That girl in there put herself into full stasis rather than let her demon have control. She fought! She fought for Tyler and her other friends. She fought for Shea. She fought for you, Nathan. She fought for you even though you’ve done nothing but treat her like she’s diseased since you brought me here.”
“That’s because she is.”
I didn’t even hear the gasp that slipped through my lips, barely noticed when every head at the table turned in my direction. My heart didn’t crack. It didn’t break. It shattered. It shattered into pieces so small I was sure they’d never be found again.
Our gazes locked for just a second, and I thought I saw a flash of anguish in Nathan’s pretty hazel eyes. When I turned to run, it wasn’t back to my room. It was to the front door.
I just wanted out. Out of that house, away from the man who had once loved me but no longer thought I was worthy. I didn’t want to stay and see the pity in Tyler’s and Sierra’s eyes. I had to go. I had to get out of there, before I broke down completely.
I didn’t hear Sierra cry out to me, didn’t hear Tyler’s chair hit the floor when he knocked it over in his haste to stand up. All I could hear were Nathan’s words, repeating at top volume in my head, confirming my worst fears.
I hadn’t even reached the door handle when I hit a forcefield so powerful that it literally picked me up and threw me backwards. I landed ten feet away, every bit of air in my lungs expelling with a whoosh. Before I could even blink, three faces were hovering over me, each etched with an expression of deep concern.
“Why…didn’t someone…tell me…the doors…were warded?” I wheezed out, trying to find the strength to sit up.
“You didn’t ask.” Tyler smiled softly as he offered me his hand to help me up. “You haven’t tried to leave until now. I guess it slipped my mind. Of course, now that the subject has come up, I suppose I should warn you that the windows are warded, too.”
“Fabulous,” I moaned.
I allowed Tyler to help me to my feet, even let Sierra put her arm around me when I started to sway unsteadily, but when Nathan reached out to touch me, I backed away. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him, so if my rejection hurt him I never saw it.
“Don’t,” I told him, holding onto Sierra with a death grip to keep from sinking back to my knees. “You wouldn’t want to take the chance of catching my disease.”
“Em, let me explain,” he began, but I shook my head. I didn’t want to hear it. Personally, I thought I’d heard enough.
“Sierra, will you help me back to my room?” I asked in a low voice that was choked with the pain I felt. “I think getting zapped by Grams’ ward was the last straw for the day.”
“Sure,” she said, tightening her hold on me a little more. “But are you sure you don’t want one of these big lugs to carry you? It would be faster.”
“I’ll do it,” Nathan volunteered quietly, reaching for me again.
This time when I backed away, I felt something in me snap, flooding me with a wave of anger so intense that it bordered on homicidal. Nathan dropped his hands to his sides and sucked in a sharp breath when my eyes met his, then took a step back of his own.
“I would rather crawl,” I told him stiffly. Pulling away from Sierra’s steadying grip, I forced my weak knees to obey orders and stood up straight and tall and walked away with what remained of my tattered dignity.
And for the first time since I’d laid eyes on Nathan Ashley, I didn’t have any urge to look back.
∞§∞§∞§∞
Thanks to Sierra warning them about the impending failure of my Nexus injections, my wardens really stepped up their game. After more than a week of being watched day and night, I was ready to tear my hair out. While Nathan wisely stayed away from me, Sierra spent every night watching me pace, not saying a word. During the day, Tyler was there trying to distract me with stupid things like cards and board games.
I developed an intense hatred for Monopoly, thanks to Ty.
“This sucks,” I grumbled during what seemed like our hundredth game—which I was losing, as usual. Giving him a pleading look, I whined, “I’m a senior in high school, Ty, not a six year old. Can’t we do something else? Better yet, can’t I just go see Kim?”
“No,” he said, not looking up from the board between us.
“Why not?” I groaned, throwing myself backward on the carpet and covering my eyes with my arms. I’d developed a whole new respect for the term ‘Cabin Fever’.
“Do I really need to answer that?” he asked, rolling the dice and moving the little car-shaped piece he always called dibs on around the board. I didn’t even bother to sit up when he landed on a property I owned that had a fabulous plastic hotel firmly planted on it.
“Why not?” I repeated in a sulky voice, just to annoy him. I moved my arms enough to glare at him, but the way he was looking at me, the tenderness in his eyes, made me want to cry instead.
“Darkling,” he said, pointing in my direction. Then pointing toward the window, he said, “Food source. You do the math, Em. Now, are you playing or not?”
“Not,” I muttered,
“Suit yourself,” he said with a shrug. “You know what I think? I think you’re just a sore loser.”
“Don’t you have a home?” I asked, rolling my eyes when he just grinned at me.
“Now why would I want to go home when I can enjoy your sunny companionship?” he teased.
“W
hatever. Grams threatened to castrate you if you let me out of your sight, didn’t she?”
“Something like that.”
I shook my head at him as he stretched his long legs out and leaned back against the bed behind him. It had been a while since I’d paid attention to any guy except Nathan, so I was surprised when I found myself thinking how cute he was. When he’d temporarily enrolled in school with us in November to help Nathan keep us all safe, I’d had several of my friends ask me about him. And watching as he laced his fingers behind his head and closed his eyes, it really wasn’t hard to see why.
Without actually meaning to, I started cataloguing all of his more pleasing assets. Lean, toned body. Unfashionably long sun-streaked dark hair, thick dark lashes. And those eyes! It wasn’t often you found a guy with gold-colored eyes, and Ty knew just how to use them to his advantage. Add that to his totally hot British accent and he was just yummy.
In so many ways…
As I watched, his aura started to change the way Nathan’s had the day he came home. I stared at the little swirls of light that started to work their way through the iridescent shimmer of his essence, entranced by them. And the smell he was putting off! Oh. My. God! The first time I’d caught a whiff of that smell, I had thought it smelled like a little taste of Heaven.
Now, I thought it just might be the temptation that led me straight to Hell.
Now that is what I call a feast. I repressed a shudder at the sound of that cold little voice, the voice I had come to associate with my demon, filled my mind. Please tell me we’re going to get a taste of him.
No, we’re not, I told my alter ego even as my body started to hum with hunger. But, it was okay. I had taken my shots just like I was supposed to. I wasn’t going to attack Tyler…
Was I?
“Em, why are you looking at me like that?” Tyler asked softly, watching me from beneath his half-closed lids.
“No reason.” My voice was raspy and I realized my throat had gone completely dry.
Because you’re starting to look like a first class meal, my dark side added for me—thankfully silently. I may not like your new playmate, but she had a good point. That crap they have you shooting into your system won’t stop me. It just takes the edge off. And when you have a meal like that little hottie sitting right in front of you, all lit up and waiting for me, it’s not going to do shit to help you.
But I could stop me. Sierra had said the only way the demon could win was if I gave up. If I didn’t want to feed on Tyler, I didn’t have to. I could just get up and walk away. I didn’t have to be a monster if I didn’t want to.
Oh, I was so delusional.
What happened next shocked me even more than I think it shocked Tyler. I swear, I didn’t mean to do it. It was like someone else had taken over my body and I was watching from the sidelines. I watched myself sit up, watched as I swept my arm across the board between us, sending dice and cards and tiny plastic buildings flying. I started fighting when I saw myself crawling toward Tyler, saw the way his lips opened and his eyes widened in surprise. But I couldn’t stop. I couldn’t do anything but watch as it happened.
“Em?” Tyler whispered as I climbed into his lap, looking about as helpless as I was myself.
“Yes?” I purred, sliding my hands up his chest.
“What are you doing?” he asked as I leaned closer to him.
“I need a hug,” I whispered, looping my arms around his neck.
“No, you’re hungry,” he said, trying to sound stern. He didn’t quite pull it off. In fact, he sounded kind of…dazed. Looked it, too, for that matter. “Em, did you take your shots?”
“Mmm hmm,” I murmured, taking a deep breath, filling my lungs with that wonderful scent of his. “I just want a hug, Ty. Are you telling me you don’t want to hold me?”
“Em…” He stopped, swallowing hard, and I saw about a hundred emotions cross his features. “Em, this isn’t a good idea.”
Listen to him! the shreds of my humanity screamed. Don’t do this! You know you don’t want to!
But…I did. I wanted to very much. I wanted to feel close to someone again. I wanted to be held. I wanted…something I’d lost. But as that demonic hunger tore through me, I couldn’t remember what that something was.
“I think it’s a very good idea,” I whispered, leaning closer to breathe the words in his ear.
All of the fight seemed to go out of Tyler. His arms closed around me and held me tighter, melding us together. There was a need in his eyes that matched the glowing hunger in mine. It went deep, that need, and some part of my mind that still belonged to me recognized it as more than the spell I’d put him under.
I tried to pull away then, instinct telling me that I was playing with fire and was about to get burned. I might have made it, too, might have been able to save myself from making the kind of mistake that goes down in history as the stupidest move ever, but Tyler’s aura flared so bright that I couldn’t make myself move, bathing me in warmth and light and the scent of his essence. The combination made my demon go ape-shit crazy with the need to feed.
“Go ahead, beautiful,” he murmured, his long fingers tangling in my hair. “You want a taste, come and get it.”
Oh hell yes! my demon cheered.
No! No no no no no! my human side screamed as I cupped Tyler’s face in my hands and leaned even closer until our lips were almost touching. But it was too late. I was too far gone.
With that first taste of Tyler’s essence, I was lost. I could literally see it flowing like smoke between his mouth and mine. There was so much warmth in his energy, so much power! It flooded through me, the ultimate rush. It filled me from my head to my toes, causing my blood to sing in my veins. I gulped it down, desperate for more.
And I wasn’t the only one.
It seemed like Tyler couldn’t hold me close enough. His hands were suddenly everywhere, caressing and touching. With a little tingle of surprise, I realized I had the same effect on him Nathan had had on me when he bit me. When I fed, my victims felt pleasure. Somehow, knowing that I wasn’t hurting him just made me hungrier for more.
“Em, stop,” Tyler said breathlessly after a few minutes, trying to gently push me away.
I grabbed onto his shirt with both hands, fisting my hands in the material to hold him still, unwilling to give up the taste and feel of his essence rushing through me. But it was more than that. I didn’t want him to let me go. I wanted him to hold me, to touch me, to want me.
“Ember! Stop!”
My feeding frenzy came to a violent end when a blast of energy hit me dead in the chest. I felt like I’d been kicked by a horse. I flew backwards, landing in a heap a few feet away. I curled up right where I was, arms held over my chest, and groaned as sanity came back all at once.
I started to sob silently as what I’d just done set in. What if it had been someone else, a normal human who couldn’t blow me off of them with a blast of magical energy? They’d be dead, that’s what.
And I would be a demon.
And the way he had made me feel, that desperate need… Not the need for his energy which I’d been sucking down like a frat boy at a kegger, but the need for his touch, the closeness of his body. What the hell was I supposed to make of that? And what did it say about me?
“Em? Are you okay?” Tyler asked softly, crawling toward me.
“Please go,” I whimpered, curling up into an even tighter ball of shame. “Please, Ty.”
“It’s all right, beautiful,” he crooned soothingly. He reached out to touch me and I recoiled from him, afraid of what I might do. Sighing, he let his hand fall back to his side.
“What’s going on here?”
I groaned when I turned my head to find Nathan standing in the doorway, Sierra hovering behind him. Nathan looked from the demolished game board, to Tyler’s pale, strained features, and finally down at me where I lay still curled into my little ball of shame and disgust.
I kind of thought he’d figured it
out on his own when he turned and glared at Tyler before biting out, “I asked a question. I’d appreciate an answer.”
“Let’s call it a learning exercise gone wrong,” Tyler said, running a shaky hand through his hair as he got to his feet. “Look, it’s fine. All’s well that ends well, right?”
“You let her feed on you?” Nathan asked in a snarl, taking another step into the room, his hands balled into fists. He was literally shaking with rage, a reaction I couldn’t understand. “I thought we understood each other, Jordan. Apparently, I didn’t make myself clear. An oversight I’m about to correct.”
“Better me than someone else,” Tyler said, bracing his feet apart and crossing his arms over his chest. I couldn’t help but notice he’d placed himself squarely between me and the pissed off vampire at the door. “Sierra told you she needed a donor, but you wouldn’t listen. I guess, in a way, I just volunteered.”
“So you’re telling me you did this for her?” Nathan snorted scornfully. “You didn’t do it to help her; you did it to finally get what you’ve wanted since the moment you laid eyes on her. You’ll be like a drug to her now. She’s tied to you, just like you always wanted.”
“I’ve always been tied to her,” Tyler said softly. “The only one who refuses to see that is you, Nate.”
Sierra grabbed Nathan’s arm when he started toward Tyler, violence emanating from his every pore, but he just shrugged her off and kept moving. I forced myself to move then. I caught Nathan just before he reached Tyler and rammed my hands into his chest, pushing with everything I had.
I don’t know if it was Tyler’s essence still pulsing through my veins or just plain adrenaline, but I felt like I was strong enough to move the world. I knew that I didn’t have any real chance at stopping Nathan if he really was determined to kill Tyler, but I felt at least strong enough to keep him busy while Tyler got the hell out of there. I’d seen the results of Nathan’s temper once before. I didn’t want to see it again.
“Stop it,” I told Nathan when he snarled at me, his eyes full of anger and what actually looked like hurt. Seeing that look in his eyes, knowing it was my fault, I wished I could look away, but I couldn’t. Not if I was going to save Tyler from the beating of all time. “It’s not his fault, Nathan. It’s…”
