Wanted By You

by Steph Nuss

  "Pizza should be here any minute," Justin said, handing me a beer.

  "Thanks," I said, twisting off the cap and chugged down most of its contents.

  Cash cracked open his bottle and stared over at me with furrowed brows. "What's up your ass, man?"

  Maverick and Justin looked over at me and I tossed back the last few ounces in the bottle instead of answering his question. I walked into the kitchen and grabbed another beer out of the fridge. Uncapping the bottle¸ I looked down into the brown glass and shook my head. I wanted to drown out Elly's words with alcohol but knew I shouldn't. The last thing I needed to do was make everything worse by getting shitfaced and doing something stupid.

  I walked back into the living room and tried to act casual, but the three of them stared back at me with concerned faces. There was no avoiding this.

  "What's Elly doing? She usually comes to watch the games with us," Maverick asked, turning his attention back to the game.

  I sat back down and shrugged. "I don't know what she's doing today." I tried to sound upbeat, like nothing was wrong, but I knew that no matter how I sounded or how I acted Cash would see right through it.

  Maverick nodded and looked over at Cash and Justin, and Cash cleared his throat. "Okay, why don't you just tell us what's going on so we can get back to watching the game and stop acting like a bunch of vaginas."

  Justin smiled and shook his head. "Did something happen between you and Elly?"

  "She pissed me off this morning," I said, shaking my head.

  Cash laughed and rested his ankle on top of his knee. "Oh, fuck. You two never fought in college; this should be good. Go on."

  "What'd she do?" Maverick asked, completely amused.

  "She flipped out when I told her my sister wanted to have us over for dinner tonight. She said she already had dinner plans at her dad's. Then when I said I'd just call my sister and let her know we already had plans, she went off. She said she wasn't ready, that I was rushing things with us."

  "Are you rushing things?" Cash asked, raising his brows at me.

  "No," I said defensively. "At least, I don't think we are. But I also don't think meeting each other’s families is that big of a deal—especially since we've known each other for so long. My sister was the one who suggested dinner. I agreed because I thought there wasn't anything to worry about, but clearly I was wrong. Elly doesn't want to meet my family, and she doesn't want me to meet her dad. She said he doesn't even know we're dating." I rolled my eyes and took a drink, attempting to wash down the lump in my throat. She lit every one of my nerves on fire and just talking about our fight made me feel the heat again. "I just thought we both knew what we wanted, but she doesn't."

  "Her dad knows you guys are dating," Maverick said, tipping back his beer.

  "How?"

  "He hosts a poker night once a month where all of us guys get together, take each other’s money, drink, and smoke cigars. He called me last week to let me know poker night was gonna be next Friday, and I asked if he had told you about it yet, thinking you two had already met. That's when I told him you two were dating."

  Cash smiled and shook his head. "Man, I wish I could've seen his face when you told him. What did he say?"

  "He was like, 'Good. I wonder when the hell she plans on telling me.' Then he told me to bring Carter with us next Friday so he could meet him."

  Justin and Cash broke out in laughter and Maverick patted me on the back with a big grin. Elly had told me he was like a brother to her, so I knew she'd be slightly irritated once she learned he spilled the beans about us to her dad.

  "Elly's in for a rude awakening at her dad's tonight," Justin said before answering the knock at the door. Once he paid the pizza guy, he placed the three large pizzas on the coffee table and we each grabbed a plate full.

  "I really thought she would've introduced you to him by now," Maverick said, drenching his slices in parmesan cheese.

  "I really thought so, too," I said, trying to shrug it off.

  He laughed and tore open a packet of red pepper. "Hopefully, after dinner with her dad, she'll pull her head out of her ass. I've known her since we were in diapers and you're the first guy she's ever let get this involved with her. You're good for her. You call her on her bullshit. Just be patient with her."

  "Thanks," I said. Out of all of her friends he knew her the best and hearing his words helped loosen the knots in my stomach. I felt better knowing I wasn't the only person who thought Elly's head wasn't on her shoulders. I knew she talked to her dad often—they were close—so it felt like a slap in the face when she said he didn't know about us. How was I supposed to ask him for her hand in marriage someday if she never introduced us? How rude would that be? Hey, Mr. Evans, I know you don't know me, but I'd like to marry your daughter. If I ever have a daughter, I would absolutely lose my shit if a guy said that to me. Elly better give me all boys … okay … and a little girl who looks just like her.

  Really? She doesn't even wanna have dinner with your sister and you're thinking about proposing and the sex of your children? Stop it.

  Cash sat down and picked up a slice of pizza. He looked around at of us and smiled. "Can we get back to acting like men? You're ruining NFL Sunday with your relationship crap."

  Exactly. Stop acting like a woman, Jennings. No more thoughts of marriage or babies.

  "I just have one more question," Maverick said, relaxing back into the couch. "Is your sister hot?"

  "Which one? He's got two?" Cash said, smiling over at me.

  "Well, in that case, both," he laughed, giving Cash a high-five while Justin shook his head smiling.

  "I don't know," I said uneasily. "I mean, they aren't ugly, but they're my sisters." I wished I'd stayed back at the apartment and argued with Elly some more. Anything would be better than discussing the hotness of my sisters.

  Maverick rolled his eyes and directed his attention to Cash. "Have you ever met his sisters?"

  "No," he said, taking a drink of his beer. "During college, the older one lived here, but she worked a lot, and the younger one lived in Texas. I have met their mother, though, and she is fucking hot. So, I'm gonna go ahead and assume his sisters are just as hot, if not more so."

  "Can we please stop talking about the women in my family and just watch some football?" I asked, completely annoyed and uncomfortable with the topic.

  "You won't even consider introducing me to the older one?" Maverick asked with an offended look on his face.

  "Yeah, and is the younger one around?" Cash asked, filling his plate with more food.

  "You guys," Justin said seriously, looking between Maverick and Cash. Just when I thought he was mediating, his serious face morphed into a smirk. "Elly busted both of Carter's balls this morning. You can meet his sisters at their wedding."

  "And Jameson sneaks in for the win!" Cash announced, raising his bottle in Justin's honor. Maverick raised his and they all looked over at me, laughing and shaking their heads.

  Bastards.

  "Hey, laugh all you want," I said, picking up a slice of pizza. "I'm the only one here getting sex on a regular basis."

  Their laughter quieted, and the smiles on their faces drooped as they slumped back in their seats looking at each other.

  "Touché," Cash said, nodding his bottle toward me.

  The guys and I watched football the rest of the afternoon and into the evening, and the frustration I felt toward Elly quickly faded. I quit replaying her words and stopped dwelling on the fact that she wasn't ready for us. I loved her and I knew she felt the same, even if she didn't say it back to me today. After being with her for a month, after making love to her, there wasn't anything she could ever say or not say to me that would change the way I felt about her. If she needed a little more time, that's what I'd give her. I waited years to be with her; a little more patience wasn't going to kill me.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ellyson

  After picking myself up off the floor of my apartment this
morning and taking a long, much-needed nap, I hit up the gym. The six-mile run cleared my head and helped me prepare for tonight's dinner and the conversation I was about to have with my dad. The metal doors of the elevator opened and as soon as I stepped into his penthouse, I was greeted by the smell of Chinese food. Dad walked into the living room carrying a couple bags of food and smiled at me.

  "Hey, sweetie. I got your favorite: orange chicken," he said, sitting down on the couch.

  I walked farther into the living room and dropped my bag on the floor next to the couch. I joined him and wrapped my arms around him in a tight hug. "Thanks. It smells really good."

  He pulled back to look me over, and I watched him survey my appearance. I know that when I left the gym a little bit ago, I didn't look any better than when I first arrived. My eyes were still puffy and red-rimmed from crying, my hair still looked like a mess, even pulled back into a ponytail, and I needed a shower.

  "Have you been crying?" he asked, opening a package of chopsticks.

  I sighed and felt the lump in my throat crawl back up. "Yeah."

  He relaxed back into the couch with a box of chow mein. "Well, grab your food and let's talk about it."

  I reached for the box of chicken and a fork and curled my legs up underneath me. I looked down and poked around at my food. I wasn't even hungry. It smelled good and my stomach ached, but I was fairly certain it wasn't from hunger. "Well, first, I should probably tell you, I have a boyfriend. We've been seeing each other for about a month now, but we've known each other since college. We met freshmen year."

  "It's Carter, right?" he asked.

  I nodded and then quickly twisted my head in his direction. "What did you just say?!" He already knew! I had never talked about Carter with him until now, so there was no way in hell he could know his name. His smile widened and I pursed my lips and shook my head. If I had to guess, one of my guy friends probably told him at their last poker night, which would've been just fine, had they clued me in. Since they hadn't, I felt fucking ridiculous. "Which one of them told you?"

  "Does it matter? What I wanna know is why I had to find out from one of them instead of you?" he asked genuinely. His was wearing his signature fatherly disappointment face: raised brows, piercing brown eyes, thin lips pressed tight together.

  "I don't know," I said, shrugging, stuffing my mouth full of chicken. I chewed slowly, buying more time to think of a better answer, and his disappointed face readily morphed into one of amusement. I used this trick all the time with him when I was younger. I swallowed and shrugged, smiling. "I've never had anyone serious in my life until now. I guess I wasn't sure how to tell you."

  He laughed and shook his head. "Okay, miss therapist. Well, I'm glad I found out before the day of your wedding."

  "I don't know about a wedding," I said bleakly, dropping the smile from my face. "We had our first fight today and I'm pretty sure I should have my license to help others taken away."

  "I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Tell me a little bit about him. What's he do? Where's he from?"

  I took a deep breath and smiled weakly. It never ceased to amaze me how easily he could change from disappointed dad to comforting dad. "His name is Carter Jennings. He's an English professor at NYU. He's from Dallas. We used to be really good friends back in college, and he moved back to New York last month. We've been dating ever since."

  "So, what happened today? Do you want to talk about it?"

  I thought about this during my run. Did I want to talk to Dad about our fight? No, I didn't, but I needed to. I was actually hoping he could help me figure out what to do with Carter. "Actually, I do wanna talk about it, but first I have a question. It's hypothetical."

  "Okay," he said, his voice skeptical and his brows bunched together, "shoot."

  I took another deep breath and asked him what I'd been thinking about ever since Carter left this morning. "Hypothetically, if you knew Mom was going to die at such a young age, would you still have dated her? Like, if you knew the minute you met her that she would get cancer and die, would you still have wanted a future with her, regardless?"

  I watched him closely, hoping the hypotheticals didn't upset him. He was always open to talking about Mom, but we had never talked about her in this light before. He swallowed hard and frowned, then set his food down on the coffee table and turned toward me. His mouth turned up into a small smile and he nodded. "Yeah, I would."

  I nodded and tears started to pool in my eyes again. I tried blinking them back, swallowing down the emotion, and set my food back on the table. With my elbows on my knees and my fingertips rubbing my forehead, a tear dropped onto my cheek. "That's what I thought you'd say."

  He wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him, and I broke down for the second time today. He rubbed my back to comfort me and kissed my forehead while tears fell like waterfalls and my breathing grew erratic, wreaking havoc on my lungs and the rest of my body. How could I even produce any more tears after all the ones I cried this morning? My tear ducts should be running on empty by now.

  "Elly," he sighed, running his hand over my ponytail. "What's this got to do with you and Carter?"

  I pulled away and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down again. I took a drink of water and relaxed back into the couch. "He loves me, Dad," I said weakly, choking back more tears. I dried my face and looked up at him. "He wants a future with me, and I'm scared I'll get cancer like Mom and die. I don't wanna do that to him. I can't do that to him."

  "Sweetie, you're not going to get cancer and die. You've done the gene testing and you don't have the mutation. You get regular mammograms. You're healthy."

  I rolled my eyes and sighed. "Well, medicine's not always right. Doctors screw up every day, and it doesn't matter if I don't have the mutation in the gene. That just means Mom probably didn't have it and look where she ended up."

  "Ellyson Rae," he snapped, glaring over at me.

  "Well, don't act like I shouldn't be worried about it," I said defensively.

  "I'm not saying you shouldn't worry," he said calmly. "What I'm saying is, you're proactive. You get screened. You get regular checkups. You're on top of things. If you ever do get cancer, you're going to have a much better chance of fighting it than your mom did."

  "I know," I said, nodding. That was the whole point of being proactive; so it didn't happen to me. That didn't mean I worried any less, though. I practically bathed in sunscreen whenever I was outside. I once thought I had a mole darken only to find out it was just a freckle. I felt around for lumps in my neck, breasts, and groin all the time, just like I did this morning.

  He reached out and grabbed my hand. "We're all going to die someday, Elly. Whether it's today or tomorrow or years from now, and whether it's from something like cancer or just simply old age, we're all going to die, and no amount of worrying will ever prevent that."

  I nodded and smiled weakly. "I know that, Dad. I just don't wanna hurt him, you know?"

  "No, I don't know," he said, shaking his head. "I don't know because your mom never hurt me. Yes, losing her hurt and I will always miss her, but she never hurt me. What hurt me was the cancer. There was nothing I could do to stop it from taking her away from us. That's what hurt."

  I leaned on him again and more tears streamed down my face. Hearing him talk about this was harder than I thought it would be, but I needed to hear it. I needed to hear what I could potentially put Carter through someday.

  "You asked if I would've still fallen in love with Mom had I known she was going to die, and the answer will always be yes. I don't think we get to choose who we fall in love with. Even though we didn't get as much time as I thought we would, she left me with enough memories to last me my entire life. And she gave me you." He lifted my head up and caught my tears with his thumbs, and I saw the tears glistening in his eyes, which only made mine fall harder. "You remind me of her all the time. You have her smile and her laugh and her beautiful red hair. Out of all the th
ings I've done in my life, loving her and having you are two of my greatest accomplishments.

  "If Carter loves you the way you say he does, there's nothing that will ever stop him from loving you. There's nothing you could ever do that will hurt him. Don't let cancer take you away from him when you don't even have it. Do you remember what we did after we found out Mom was sick?"

  I nodded and blew my nose into a napkin. "Yeah, we traveled, tried to do everything on her bucket list, and spent as much time as we could with her."

  "Exactly," he said, kissing my forehead. "We made the most of our time with her, and that's what you should be doing now. You should be making the most of your time because tomorrow isn't guaranteed. Don't worry about things you can't control. I know for a fact that Mom never would've wanted you to miss out on love. We talked about you a lot right before she got really bad, and I'll never forget what she said."

  A tear slipped from his eye and he brushed it away real quick, but that one tear made my lips start to quiver again and my chest ache. He never cried in front of me. I knew he'd cried before. I heard him break down after Mom died, but seeing that one tear escape from his eye just reminded me of how strong he was.